Love

"Wait!" John started. His stomach dropped. He took a deep breath and swallowed hard before hesitantly leaning forward and starting to lick his own blood from the man's hands, feeling sick.

"Nevermind, O'Seanassy," Jim said as the man stepped into the room. "Pet decided to cooperate after all." The other man left the room once more, and Jim looked down at John, running a hand through John's hair after it was cleaned and John began licking on the next one. "That's a good boy. I can't wait to see what other talents that tongue has."

John had to fight back the urge to gag and vomit as he sucked down his own blood. He was so disgusted, more with himself than anything. What level had he stooped to? He licked off the last bit of blood and sat back in the chair, not looking up at him, and wiped his mouth.

Jim seized John's bleeding wrists and licked around them, clearing up the blood. "You'll have some explaining to do to Sebastian and Sherlock about these cuts. Time to get creative."

John fought the desire to pull his hands back as Jim's tongue slid around his wrists, lapping at his skin. When he'd finished, John stood back up and said icily. "So I'm free to go?"

"Don't forget this..." Jim stepped up to him and slid his phone back into the inner pocket of his coat. "We'll be in touch. And remember, John. Breathe a word to Sherlock or Sebastian, and people will die. Mouth off to me or disobey me again, and you'll be handcuffed on an airplane en route to your new owners within the day. Ta now! I took the liberty of topping up your Oyster card."

John lingered, glaring at him for a moment before he breezed past him and left the house, slamming the door behind him. He didn't know what to do now...home to Baker Street, or back to Sebastian? After a minute of hesitation, he hailed a cab and headed back to the hotel, trying to stave back tears of horror, confusion, and helplessness, all tinged with a bit of pain as his wrists had started to bleed again. When he reached the hotel, he paid the cabbie, hopped from the car and headed back up to the room, knocking at the door.

Sebastian opened it, cigarette in mouth, a grin on his face when he saw John. "Well, hello again so soon—John, what's wrong?" He stepped back, letting John come in. The man was on the verge of tears. He pulled John over to the bed and sat him down. "John, what happened?"

John just shook his head. He couldn't say anything, but he wanted to so badly. He wanted to tell Sebastian everything. He sat on the bed, the taste of iron in his mouth, and clamped his jaw to keep it from trembling. He pressed his hands to his eyes, his bloody wrists poking from his dark jacket.

Sebastian gently took John's wrists in his rough hands, looking them over. "John—what are these?" he asked, a tinge of fear in his voice. "Where'd you get these marks from?" They were still fresh, obviously. Blood leaked onto his hands, and he dashed to the bathroom to grab a towel, wrapping it around John's wrists and pressing them together to stop the bleeding. He tried to meet John's eyes.

John wouldn't, couldn't look up at him, and just shook his head again. He could feel the concern and worry rolling off of Sebastian and he couldn't help the small, choked, sob that escaped his mouth. He tried to stop himself, but it was the catalyst into uncontrollable crying. John felt like such a fool. Sebastian must see him as such a weak, pathetic person...and maybe it was better that way. Maybe it would be better if Sebastian just called everything off. Then, at least, John wouldn't have to worry about Jim threatening him to kill Sebastian. That was one less person he had to be concerned about dying.

"Oh, God...John—" Sebastian's heart constricted as he saw this man begin to cry. He'd thought he'd seen John at his most vulnerable, but it was nothing compared to this. He wanted desperately to be able to make it better, but all he could do was reach out and pull John into his big arms, cradling John's head. "John, you can tell me..." Sebastian held him tighter. "What do you need me to do?"

John just shook his head again and leaned in to him, crying against his chest. He moved closer, Sebastian's warm and strong arms wrapping around him comforting, but at the same time, an unwelcome reminder of what Jim now held over him and he cried even harder.

Sebastian grew angry and frustrated, not at John, but at whatever was making John so unhappy that he couldn't even tell him. He had never cared this much for anyone, ever. If anyone else had come to Sebastian crying, he wouldn't have cared—or even if he had, he would back away awkwardly and hope they got better, at a safe distance from him. But he couldn't let go of John now, and the words tumbled out of his mouth before he realized they were forming.

"I love you, John," he murmured, and meant every word.

As much as John wanted to hear the words, all they did were make things worse and his tears doubled, his body shaking horribly. "I—I love you, too," he choked out, wishing that it wasn't true. But it was. It so, most definitely, was. John had never felt the way he felt about Sebastian about anyone else. Sure, they hadn't known each other for that long, but he could easily and happily spend the rest of his life with him...or...at least he could've before.

"You do?" Sebastian asked, gently tilting John's face up towards his and wiping away John's tears with his thumbs. "Do you, John?"

"I do—I really, really do." And it was horrible.

Sebastian's heart constricted. Nobody had ever loved him before, or at least nobody had ever said the words. His mother had died at birth and his father beat him until he'd run away at 15. "Stay with me tonight," Sebastian begged. "Please, John. Just stay. You're safe with me, always."

Tears still sliding down his face, John sniffled, trying to stop his crying and leaned in to him, tucking his head under Sebastian's chin. He was safe with him. And right now, that was all he wanted.

Sebastian knelt in front of John, bending to gently unlace and pull off his shoes, then pulled down the covers to the bed and pulled John inside, crawling in next to him. He stroked down John's arm and along his thigh, burrowing close to John, before reaching behind him and clicking off the light. "John, it's okay...whatever it is, I'm here," he whispered, running a hand through John's hair.

John swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded against his chest. He sat up for a moment, pulling off his coat and then snuggled back against him, Sebastian's hand in his hair comforting. He curled into him and pulled up the covers, murmuring again, "I love you, Sebastian."

"Nobody's ever said that to me before," Sebastian admitted aloud this time, into John's neck, which he tenderly and slowly kissed.

"No one's ever said it to me and meant it," John mumbled. John tilted Sebastian's head to kiss him on the lips as well.

Sebastian sighed into the kiss, pressing into it. "Well, I mean it, John. John Watson...is that your full name?" He propped his head up on his hand, rubbing his feet against John's.

"John Hamish Watson...and you?" he asked wiping his tears away, wanting to just forget about Jim.

"John Hamish Watson," Sebastian murmured against John's cheek, smiling against John's skin.

"Mmhm...are you just Sebastian Moran, then?" he asked, moving even closer to him.

"John Sebastian Teague Moran," he mumbled out. "Bit of a mouthful, come to think of it...funny that both our first names are John...though I would never answer to John." He smiled and moved down to kiss John carefully and softly.

John blinked in surprise. "Your name's John as well?" He gave Sebastian a small smile. "John Sebastian Teague Moran...it's nice," he said softly, placing a light kiss on his lips.

Sebastian caught John's chin for a longer kiss, running a hand down John's arm to his wrist. He wanted to ask John about it once more, but it was clear that John wanted to get his mind off whatever had happened.

He ran a hand through John's hair again, studying John's face. John looked stressed still, but at least his body had relaxed into Sebastian's. "Sleep well, darling." He pressed his lips to John's creased forehead.

John gave a small nod and curled back in to him. "Night, Sebastian..." It surprisingly didn't take John long to nod off and go to sleep in the other man's arms.

Sebastian watched him protectively as he fell asleep, laying a final kiss on his forehead before he settled his head on his pillow, wondering what had happened to John, awful solutions running through his head as he fell asleep as well.

When John woke up, he realized he was late for work. He didn't care. He wanted to stay with Sebastian, so he called Sarah, stepping into the bathroom so as not to wake Sebastian. "Sarah...hi. I...I won't be coming in today. I'm feeling awful—I know, I'm so sorry, I was mugged last night...I just need a day or two of recovery...yeah...yes, of course. ...no, no, I'll be fine, just banged up a bit...I'll see you in a few days. Thanks." He then went back out to get into bed with Sebastian.

"Mmm, playing hooky, Doctor?" Sebastian sighed sleepily, pulling John close to him again. "How are you feeling, John?"

John closed his eyes, but after Sebastian asked how he was feeling, he tensed up again. "I'm fine, Sebastian...it's nothing to worry about."

Sebastian felt John tense and sighed, reluctantly sitting up. He needed to shower anyway. "Then why won't you tell me?" Sebastian asked, stripping off his shirt.

John's eyes dropped away from his. "Because I can't."

Sebastian gave a long sigh and turned away from John, the tiger on his back twitching as his back muscles flexed. He pulled off his trousers and ruffled his hair with his hands. He was frustrated, but he knew John needed only tenderness right now.

John glanced up at him, his eyes trailing along the tiger. "I'm sorry." John pursed his lips. He could tell Sebastian was frustrated. Maybe he should just let him relax away from John. He pushed himself off the bed. "I'm um...I'll just head out, okay?" he looked around, grabbing his jacket again.

"You don't have to, John! I'm just going to shower, but then we can order up a breakfast, all right?" Sebastian stood up and headed to the bathroom. He headed in, then popped his head out. "Oh, and John—I love you." He smiled, then disappeared, closing the door.

John hesitated, then melted a bit, smiling at those three words. How had he forgotten? John's insides warmed, then immediately chilled as Jim flashed back into his mind. When Sebastian disappeared into the bathroom, John crawled back into the king-size bed and flipped on the telly, ordering a pay-per-view movie.

He was only five minutes into it when he phone rang. He answered it with trepidation.

"Johnny! Ready for your first set of errands for me?" Moriarty's voice crackled through the phone.

John grit his teeth and hissed, "What do you want?"

The playful tone dropped out of Jim's voice and he was all business. "There's an apartment near King's Cross, address to follow. Pick up the package waiting there. Do you have your gun with you?"

"No," John said flatly. "I'm a doctor, not an assassin."

"Pity. Go to the second address I'm texting you, a jewelry shop. Tell the owner that you like crustaceans, and he'll give you a pick of any of the guns in the back room. Once you have the package, bring it back to my address, and pick me up a kebab on your way. If you take more than forty minutes I will gouge out one of your eyes. Or one of Sebastian's. Hell, I'll let you pick. Ta." Jim hung up.

John's heart stopped. He swallowed as he slowly lowered the phone from his ear and slipped it into his pocket. He pulled on his jacket and shoes, then went to knock on the bathroom door—Sebastian was still in the shower, judging by the sound of the water coming from inside. "Sebastian? I...I have to go...something came up...I'll...I'll call you later, okay?"

Sebastian turned the water off. "What did you say, John?"

"I have to go. There's...there's something I've got to do, okay? I..." John cleared his throat, trying to sound natural and feeling like he was failing horribly, "I'll call you later, all right?"

Sebastian ran out of the door. "John—what the hell is going on?!" but John was already out the door. Sebastian cursed and slammed his hand against the door frame.

John steeled himself as he walked down the hall and left the hotel. He followed Jim's directions, and had to hurry getting the package to his townhouse, needing to pay the cabbie extra money to speed.

When he arrived, for Jim had given him the keycode inside, Jim was on the phone with someone else. "And the other hamburger will also be made out of your lungs," he said in a sing-song, then hung up. He looked John up and down. "One minute and thirty seconds to spare. Not awful, Johnny." He took the package from John and looked him over. "I had a long night, doctor, hardly any sleep. How about you?"

"It's none of your business. Is that all?" he asked flatly, not particularly wanting to stick around longer than he had to.

Jim grabbed John's throat with one hand and his balls with the other, squeezing them both painfully as he shoved him against the walls. "I don't know if I made this clear, John. You belong to me. You answer to me. You follow my orders and you answer my questions, no matter how trivial or private they seem to you. Don't try my patience, Johnny."

John let in a surprised gasp and winced as he was slammed against the wall, Jim's hand clenching his groin, and shoved him away. "I slept fine," he growled in annoyance. "Happy?"

Jim grinned, secretly pleased at how resilient John was. Most people were shitting themselves in terror within five minutes of meeting him, and the fact that John wasn't intrigued him, especially considering that he'd strapped a bomb to the man. "Very," he said, then frowned theatrically. "Except...my back is so sore, and my masseuse doesn't come in until Wednesday. Would you mind?" He sighed in fake distress, smirking at John.

John gave him a disgusted look. "Then why don't you call up your masseuse and tell them to come today instead?" He had zero desire to rub down the criminal.

"Because that's not nearly as entertaining, Johnny, and I detest being bored." Jim stripped off his jacket and lay on the floor. "Whenever you're ready. My shoulders are especially tense," he said, smirking into the carpet. It was fun, testing John's limits. He was starting off easy, of course. Things would get so much worse, but he needed to give John a bit of time to grow more at ease around him.

John looked down at him, "You're a pig, you know that?"

"I've been called worse, darling. Now get to work, or you'll find out what happens when I get bored and angry," Jim said.

John ground his teeth together and got down on the floor next to him and started to massage the other man's back. He was shit at it. Usually this was something that bothered him, especially when it came to relationships, but this time, he was rather pleased that he could use the best of his abilities and it would still be bad.

Jim winced and bore it as best as he could. "Ow, you fucking moron, that makes it hurt worse! Rub your palm there—can't you feel the knots? No, move your fingers lower. No, down!" He barked commands for a couple more minutes before finally irritably flipping over, knocking John away from him and sitting up. "You're a doctor, and you're shit at this!" he said. "Didn't anyone ever teach you to massage before?"

John gave a cheeky smile. 'I know. And they've certainly tried. Done so soon?'

"Well, I suppose so, John," Jim said lightly, standing and straightening his suit. "Now I'm bored, angry, and in pain." He grinned evilly. "So. Want to play a game? It'll cheer me up to no end."

'No, thank you, I'd rather not,' he said coolly.

Jim shrugged lightly, casually grabbing a fire poker from the stand by the hearth, and before John could follow him, he cracked it hard against the back of John's legs, sending him toppling to his knees on the ground. He stood behind John, straddling him, and, grabbing the poker at each end, forced it against John's windpipe and under his chin, pushing it up so that John was forced to look up at him. "This game is called, how much can I injure John without Sebastian and Sherlock noticing?"