Wow, this took forever. I'm so sorry I kept you hanging. I hope this isn't too bad. Author's note at the bottom.

Mary's heart was pounding. She had to find him. She picked up her heavy skirts and raced back to the castle, raising the brows of everyone she passed. Her carefully fixed hair now a messy dark blur trailing behind her. He couldn't be here. If the king found out ...

"Greer!"

Her friend spun around with alarm. "Mary! What on earth happened?"

Mary tried to gather herself quickly, but too many emotions were whirling through her. Where to start?

"Are you alright?"

She felt the eyes of the kitchen staff on her and realized she must be a sight. It was rare for a royal to step foot in the kitchen and here she was with dirt and grass on her gown and mud and hay stuck to her shoes. Greer glanced at their audience and wrapped her arm around Mary as she guided her out and down the hallway where no ears would hear them. "Mary?"

As hard as her heart was beating, her mind was racing. "Lola. Where's Lola?"

Greer furrowed her brow. "I haven't seen her. I imagine she's washing up for the party which you are already late for," she said as gently as possible. "Mary, what's wrong?"

Mary hesitated. The less people that knew, the better. "You said the party has started?"

"Yes! You're terribly late and you're going to be even later because you certainly can't go in this state."

Normally, Mary would be grateful for Greer's mothering, but at the moment her appearance was the last thing on her mind. But she was right. Mary could not draw unwanted attention. She let Greer lead her back to her chambers.

Mary barely noticed Greer's efforts as she fussed about, quickly re-dressing her queen and doing her best to tame her mane. Mary's mind was in a fog. She knew Bash shouldn't be there, but her heart wouldn't stop leaping at the thought of seeing him again. It had been close to four months since they last spoke and Mary feared he'd moved on. She knew how selfish that was. She should want him to find happiness elsewhere, and she did, but the thought of being replaced in his heart terrified her.

Mary tried to convince herself that it had all been an illusion. They were trying to make a bad situation bearable. They fooled themselves into thinking there was more than a friendship between them.

She stared back at herself in the mirror. She felt as though she were going mad. Nothing was right. The whole world felt disjointed and precarious.

"Mary?"

She finally noticed that Greer was watching her in the mirror as well, her task now complete. Mary cleared her throat in discomfort. "Yes," she said with as much authority as she could muster, "this will do."

Greer's mouth twitched as she seemed undecided on whether to speak.

"I'll be down shortly. You may go ahead."

Reluctantly, her lady curtsied and made her way out.

"Oh! Lola!"

Mary spun around on her bench as the two women greeted each other. Lola looked weary, but somehow more relaxed than she had been of late. How should she approach this? Mary wondered. She trusted Lola, but she would take no chances with Bash's life by telling anyone of his presence needlessly.

"I was told you wished to see me," Lola said with a smile. "I think you'll be quite happy with the pony."

Mary nodded at Greer to leave and waited for her to close the door. "Yes, I saw him. Thank you. How was your travel?"

"Tiring," Lola sighed. "I hope I can make it through the evening. I may need to retire early."

"It was nice of you to go. Did you get to see your family?" Her stomach was tensing as she fought her desire to be direct and forceful. Every moment Bash was on the grounds, the chances of him being caught grew. And if that were to happen, Mary feared she'd be unable to save him.

"Yes. I'm afraid there's been no improvement. My aunt will be lucky to live past spring."

"Is there anything I can do to help? Perhaps send Nostradamus?"

Lola shook her head. "It's up to God now."

"I'm sorry."

She smiled weakly in thanks. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes, actually." Mary rose from her bench to stand before Lola eye-to-eye. "When I visited the pony, I noticed a new mare in the stalls. Do you know whose she is?"

She furrowed her brow. "No. Perhaps there is overflow from the guest stable?"

"But you know the horse I'm speaking of?"

Lola crossed her arms. "I'm not sure."

"You visit the stables enough to know which horses should be there," she pressed.

"Forgive me, Mary," her friend answered with a sigh. "I'm quite tired. I'm not sure what I saw, but nothing struck me as suspicious."

The young queen studied her for a moment, considering her options. "Of course. Thank you again for escorting my gift. I'll see you at the party shortly."

Lola nodded and made her way out leaving Mary feeling uneven. She couldn't tell if Lola was covering for Bash or not. She hadn't asked what the horse looked like or why Mary was concerned, but perhaps she was too fatigued to inquire. But even if Lola was covering, what business was it of hers? Bash was essentially in exile and shouldn't be thought in her mind.

Mary opened the bottom drawer of her vanity and reached for a small book of poetry, letting it fall open. A dried piece of lavender from the bouquet she had brought to Isobel's grave appeared before her and Mary drew it to her nose. The scent was faint, but distinct. She closed her eyes and remembered the crisp winter air as she and Bash stood by the burial mound. The heat from Bash's breath clouded the air as he promised his loyalty to her. The tenderness of his lips against hers, the strength of his arms wrapped around her and his earthy scent that was so calming all came rushing back to Mary. The sting of the cut on her palm and the bite of the cold air melted in his embrace. That day she had begun to see Bash as her husband, envisioning a future together as both rulers and marrieds. Mary had spent nearly her whole life expecting no one but Francis at her side, yet that picture was fading more and more with surprising ease.

Gingerly, Mary returned the lavender to its safe place amongst words of love and longing. She wished she had the resolve to get rid of it. It did her no good to hang on to such things, but mixed in with the melancholy was a bit of comfort. She could still feel his love, the kind of love that never wavered. She hadn't realized how precious that was before.

She studied herself in a mirror. The past four months had taken a toll on her appearance. Her hair had lost it's shine, her skin paler than ever and her figure withering. Replacing the happy anticipation she had felt for the party was a knot of anxiety. Mary would not be able to relax until she knew Bash had departed safely. She slammed the drawer shut in frustration. Why was he being so reckless? Why risk his life? For a child's birthday? How she wanted to yell at him for making her such a worried mess. But whatever the reason, there was nothing Mary could do but keep quiet and try to get through the night without event and hope Bash was gone by morning.

The children ran about wildly, clearly enjoying themselves. Young Henry had loved the pony and ridden it throughout the castle to much fanfare. It was a fittingly festive atmosphere and, under normal circumstances, Mary would have been having fun. Instead, she was detached, more focused on anyone or anything out of place, any sign that something was amiss.

"Mary, the food is divine! You must try something!" Kenna exclaimed as she bounded over.

"In a while," she answered, the grip on her empty chalice tightening.

Her lady moved in front of her, obstructing her view of the ballroom. "Mary," she cautioned, "You need to eat."

"I'm afraid my stomach will not allow it."

Kenna's eyes widened. "Are you ...?"

"No, no. Of course not," Mary said hurriedly.

"'Of course not?' I know you and Francis have not been getting along of late, but you are still trying to conceive, aren't you? You must."

Mary was in no mood for this conversation and she took a deep breath. "What I meant was, I wouldn't keep something like that from you."

This seemed to satisfy Kenna suitably. "Oh. Well, perhaps just some bread?"

"No, I think I'll just retire for the evening." All she was doing was stressing over a situation she couldn't control, nor did she know the scope of, and could take it no longer. Before Kenna could argue, Mary absconded down the hall.

She was halfway to her rooms when she saw him off in the distance. It was so odd, him standing there in a hallway like no time had passed. Relief washed over Mary. He was safe and in one piece. She was so focused on this fact that, at first, she didn't even notice Bash was not alone. But then he reached out and she saw: his hand grasping Lola's forearm, pulling her closer as they spoke in hushed voices. She watched as Bash followed Lola into her chambers and closed the door behind them.

Mary was too stunned to move, her body too heavy and drained of life. Maybe it was best, she tried to convince herself as her heart ached. She knew now that any notion she might have of some type of connection between them was over. Bash had moved on. And if he was happy, she would be happy for him, she told herself.

With a deep breath, Mary tried to regain her poise and walk back to her chambers strong and emotionless. Defiant, even. In the morning, Bash would be gone again and she would pretend she had never seen him, never thought of him.

That was the plan.

A/N: My apologies again for taking so long on this. I'm already working on the next chapter and I hope to have it up before Reign returns. Being excited about the show again really helps with writing. Comments are greatly appreciated!