SORRY, HAD TO RE-POST THIS.
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Well it's been a little while since I updated anything but I got a few new games for christmas and wanted to play them for a bit. One more thing, people keep asking me when I'm going to update NOLIFE QUEEN and the answer is after this fic gets off the ground. It's a little shakey at the moment but let's see if we can't even that out.
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Where did we leave off? Wellllllll-alright, I'm not gonna do this. Naruto and Grimmchi began the process of becoming arrancar and made Aizen look like a bitch. Let's get goin.
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It had been a loooong two weeks since Aizen had gotten his ass kicked by two. He was almost ready to perminently take up residence in Hueco Mundo and he had gotten two insanely powerful vasto lordes added to his army. He had a few problems though, for one they were dozens of times stronger than him, they were obviously going to do whatever they damn well pleased, and, worst of all, the guy scared the shit out of him...that wasn't a joke, he really crapped his pants when he mentioned the lava, not that he would tell anybody.
Currently he was sitting at the end of a long table, his faithful bitches, Tousen and Gin, sitting on either side of him. Down the table was a variety of people, each completly different than the rest.
The first was a huge muscle-bound brute with a stupid look on his face. He also had three ridges on top of his head along with the only hair he had being a pony tail.
His mask shard covered his bottom jaw. This was Yammy Llargo.
The next was a laid-back looking with a peachfuzz goatee. He had shaggy black hair and had a lazy look in his eyes but seemed like an ok person altogether. His mask shard was located around his neck, looking very much like a necklace. This was Coyote Starrk.
Sitting across from him was a blonde haired woman with a collar raised to shield her face from view. Her shirt didn't leave much to the imagination either. Her mask shard was a face mask that, if one were able to see lower, would see covered her down to her nipples. This was Tia Harribel.
Next to her was a deathly pale man with green eyes with slitted pupils that looked like they were made of glass. The only distinguishing trait he had were the green tearstreaks going down his face starting from the center of his eye lids. His mask shard was half of a helmet on the left side of his head. This was Ulquiorra Schiffer.
Across from him was the tall lanky man that Naruto had chain whipped into the ground. his mask shard and hollow hole were both located behind his eyepatch. His name was Nnoitra Gilga.
Next to him was a very effeminate looking man with three pink stars above his left eye. His mask shard was located on the left side of his head and a fragment of an upper jaw. His name was Luppi Antenor. (1)
Across from him was a dark skinned man who looked like a voodoo priest. His mask shard looked like a very small bone mohawk. His name was Zommari Rureaux.
Next to him was a pink haired man that actually looked like what would happen if Sakura and Orochimaru had a kid, yes he's that ugly. His mask fragment was a pair of glasses. This was Szayelaporro Granz.
Across from him was an odd looking person. It always spoke in a duel voice, one deep, the other high pitched. It also wore a massive mask over it's actual "head". As for it's head, it was actually a glass tank with two little heads floating in it.
Aizen, after realizing that this silence was uncofertable and everyone had been staring at him, decided to let them know what was going on, "Two weeks ago, two monsterously powerful vasto lordes broke into Las Noches and demanded I turn them into arrancar-" He was interupted by Nnoitra, "What, you just call a meeting to tell us we need to step up security?"
Aizen, knowing full well about what happened when Nnoitra attacked them, decided to say the most jackass thing he could think of, "No, I was forced to turn them into arrancar. It was the same couple that chain-whipped you into the sand and didn't even bother eating you. They should be coming out of it any time now."
Nnoitra's reaction was what you would expect if a jackass found out that someone that kicked your ass was vulnerable, he grinned like a maniac and disappeared, obviously going to kill them while they were vulnerable.
Tosen was about to go after him but he didn't need to. He came flying through a wall, a fifty wall trail made it obvious where he came from. They all turned to the string of holes only to see Naruto walking through the last one...a very naked Naruto. He actually looked almost exactly like he had in life but he was had prominent muscles, more so than an olympic swimmer but less than a body builder. That and his hair was pure white. Upon closer inspection it would show that his mask fragment actually worked it's way into his hair, giving it it's white color. He also looked like he was going to murder Nnoitra.
Aizen quickly pieced together what happened. They must have just completed their transformation and Nnoitra tried to get a glimpse of Grimmchi naked, and Naruto took exception to that. He had to do what he could to stop Naruto or He could need to find a new quinta espada.
He adressed Naruto as quckly as possible, flash stepping in front of him too, "Naruto, I think he's had enough."
Naruto, despite being naked as the day he was born, stopped in his tracks, "I think I'll be the judge of whether or not he's had enough. He knew that Grimmchi was naked and he stayed to get a glimpse of something that only I get to see." He would have continued but Grimmchi suddenly appeared, fully clothed, and looked at Naruto with a grin on her face.
"Not that the view isn't nice Naruto-koi, you should get some pants on." Despite what she was saying the hungry look in her eye when she saw his sausage.
Naruto though answered with the best thing he's said in a long time, "Naw, I like to feel the breeze on the kielbasa and meatballs." He actually managed to say all of this with a straight face. (I wouldn't have been able to say half of it without laughing my ass off)
Grimmchi just looked at him for a few seconds, "If you don't get some pants on then they're not gonna get the honey glaze for a very long time. (2)
Naruto moved so fast Grimmchi couldn't even see him. It was like pants materialized on him, a pout on his face while he looked to his left, "Fine, ruin my fun." It was mumbled but everyone understood exactly what he was saying.
Grimmchi walked up to him and planted a huge kiss on his lips. When she finally pulled back her eyes were hazy, "Even better than I imagined, you are definatly getting a treat later." The way she said 'treat' made a shiver of anticipation work it's way down Naruto's spine.
Luppi however, being arrogant after receiving his espada rank just a few days prior, decided to open his big mouth, "This is what Lord Aizen was so worried about? Some muscle-bound fool and a blue haired bimbo." He had a smirk on his face while saying this, basically telling them that they couldn't do anything about what he was saying, even if they wanted to. He was going to be finding out real quick that saying something like that was a mistake.
Naruto was about to kill him for the coment at Grimmchi's expense but he didn't get the chance since she beat him to it, she herself pissed for the coment at Naruto's expense.
Luppi was torn to pieces before he could even talk anymore than he already had, and guess what, I'm going to explain it all.
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Warning Torture
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First, Grimmchi thrust her hand into Luppi's torso and pulled out his stomach and promptly stuffed it down his throat. Then she ripped his arms off and shoved his right arm through his calves, going through one and then the other, before leaving it lodged there. His left leg was given the same treatment to his thigh.
Then she went to crushing his toes, one joint at a time.
When she was done with that she used her newly aquirred sword to cut his balls off. Then she ripped out his eye balls and replaced the to sets with it's oposite.
Then she ripped his tounge out, blood spewing everywhere.
Then, after getting her anger under control again, she tore out the vein that supplied blood to his brain and let it dangle in the air.
Half a second later he succumbed to his injuries.
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All done
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Now everybody was terrified at this woman who had just torn an espada to literal pieces.
Naruto on the other hand, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, do it again on this guy!" He grabbed Nnoitra byy the head and held him towards Grimmchi.
Aizen though, despite almost crapping his pants AGAIN, walked over, "We've already lost one espada today, I'd rather not lose another."
Naruto just sighed, "Fine, what espada rank are we?"
Aizen told him, "Actually I don't assign espada rank, I assign the title espada and whoever is strongest gets the highest rank." He then sent a small blast of reiatsu at them.
Everyone from Yammy to Nnoitra felt their tattoos changeing.
When they all checked their ranks were very different.
Yammy had rank 2.
Starrk had rank 3.
Harribel had rank 4.
Ulquiorra had rank 5.
Nnoitra had rank 6.
But the biggest shocker was when they looked over at Naruto and Grimmchi.
On Grimmchi's left shoulder was a 1 and on Naruto's chest, right above his hollow hole was a 0.
Everybody was too shocked for words.
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It's late and I thought this would be a good enough spot to finish on.
grimmchi doodles by werewolflover25 - She's wearing the clothes on the upper left
Naruto's just wearing standard arrancar pants. His actual attire will be explained next chapter
(1) I liked it when Grimmjow killed Luppi so I changed it a bit to make it still work into the fic.
(2) I'm using a lot of meat analogies, aren't I.