April 17, 4:00pm

Emily was leaning against the trolly full of books as her co-worker, Daichi, restocked the shelves. Daichi was in his second year at collage studying medicine and though he looked like the stereotypical thug, tattoos down his arms, piercings and often slicked his dark hair back so he looked like a greaser from a 1950s movie, he was soft spoken and loved nothing more than relaxing on his couch with his cat reading a good book.

After Toshio had unintentionally suggested that Emily should hook Chloe up with one of her workmates, Chloe had been pestering her about it any chance she got. Eventually, getting fed up with it, Emily had told her friend to come into work and case the staff. Emily would say who was taken and who wasn't. Daichi had been working the first day Chloe set foot in the store and her heart had been set on him instantly. Emily just hadn't found the right time to ask him. Until now.

"Hey, are you doing anything tomorrow night?" she asked not meeting his gaze. Daichi turned back to the trolley and grabbed another handful of books.

"Not really, someone need a shift covered?"

Emily shook her head, "Actually...I feel weird even asking this, but my friend Chloe-"

"The blonde bob-cut girl who comes in every now and then?" he asked interrupting her. Emily nodded,

"Well she kind of likes you-"

"And wants you to introduce her?" he interrupted again.

"Yeah..."

"Oh cool. Actually I was going to ask you to introduce me to her the next time she came in. She's pretty cute and her Japanese is adorable." Daichi replied all the while still restocking the shelves and hardly seeming flustered at all. Emily was stupefied, she really hadn't expected her conversation with Daichi to go this smooth or this well. She barely had to put any effort into it at all. Still, it was good that he was interested in Chloe.

She dropped her gaze to the small amount of scattered books left to be sorted feel relieved for more than one reason. There were three numbers in her phone that had no names, three numbers she'd memorized for the longest time. Three numbers that would get her in trouble and for that reason she deleted messages and calls and never named them. If she had put Renji's name in her contacts, Chloe would have known that something was up and Emily wouldn't have been able to play it off as a co-worker. Chloe wouldn't have come into the book store and this conversation with Daichi never would have happened. Perhaps happiness wasn't as far out of reach as she'd led herself to believe.

6:00pm

Emily closed the door to her apartment and leaned against it. Her house was dark and empty like it had been the past few days. Uta had found somewhere for Chou to live safely, it had been in her best interest but saying goodbye to the little girl was harder than Emily had thought. She'd grown attached to her and it was nice having her around.

With a sigh, she flicked on the lights and went to the kitchen, texting Chloe as she went to tell her the good news: she'd invited Daichi to have lunch with them tomorrow. Emily knew Chloe would be overjoyed, and her theories were confirmed whilst she was halfway through heating up a frozen meal when she called.

"Oh my god!" Chloe exclaimed happily, "What am I going to wear?! I have nothing!"

"Calm down." Emily said as a smile graced her lips unintentionally, "I'm sure you'll look good in whatever you decide to wear."

"Not all of us can be like you, Emily." Chloe teased, "You could wear sweats and still look beautiful. Hey, what if we had a sleep over?"

"A what?"

"You know, it's a thing that girls do. I could stay the night and we can eat junk food, watch romantic comedies and talk about boys. Please, please, please?" Chloe begged putting on her childish voice. Emily sighed again, it was true that since Chou left she'd been feeling a little lonely and she didn't think there would be any kind of drama involving Ghouls tonight... "You know what, let's do it."

"Yay! I'll be there in half an hour! Buh-byeee~!" Chloe sang until the phone clicked and fell silent. A sleep over? She'd read about things like that in books and seen them on dramas but she'd never had or been part of one. Chloe was her only female friend and Emily had always been worried that something bad would happen if she were to stay over for an extended period of time. But there was a lot of drama happening in her life right now, perhaps a little fun wouldn't be such a bad thing after all.

Just like she'd said, Chloe arrived half an hour later with enough baggage to stay for a month. As it turned out it was mostly snacks and makeup she'd brought with her. How someone could own so much stuff was astonishing to Emily.

At first they settled in with dinner and some American movie about a guy getting over his ex by going on holiday. Emily didn't quite understand the appeal of it, but she did laugh at certain things and Chloe seemed to enjoy it so it was fine by her. Next, she helped her friend pick an outfit for lunch and Chloe begged Emily to do her makeup.

They were into the second movie of the night when Emily's intrest was piqued. She'd just placed a bowl of popcorn on the table for herself and Chloe when one of the main character's said something utterly profound. A few words that made Emily stop what she was doing and just stare at the screen, a declaration that struck her very core.

I wish I knew how to quit you.

These two people, characters of a fictional story had just summed up her entire range of emotions for Ayato. They had been forced together by an unexpected event, learned things about themselves and each other and as a result developed crazy, conflicting and very confusing feelings for each other. There was love there, but a love that was wrong and therefore denied. It invigorated and destroyed them. It was surreal to watch two characters go through the same thing that she had felt and experienced. Watching their pain brought back her own, and along with it a deep longing that she thought she'd abandoned.

She missed him. She missed his rude attitude, his bored expression and imposing air. She missed his cold eyes and messy, gloriously soft hair and how it covered his face when he slept. She missed the exhilaration she felt around him, known that he was unpredictable and dangerous yet she felt overwhelmingly safe with him.

"Emily?" Chloe's voice pulled her out of her dark and gloomy state. The movie had been paused and Chloe was looking at her with worried, big eyes, "You're crying..." Emily touched her cheek gingerly, sure enough it was wet. It had only been one tear but it was enough to shock her. She hadn't cried in a long time, not since her father...

"What's wrong? You can tell me, you know." Chloe asked and gently patted Emily's hand. What should she say, what could she say? There was no way Chloe was just going to let this slide if Emily said she was fine but what else could she do? Telling the truth was out of the question, but so was lying. Emily groaned and put her head in her hands; she was in this situation again. She hated it, she hated having to keep so many secrets from her friends.

"Emily?" Chloe asked against placing her hand tenderly on the other girl's back, "It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay."

"No it's not." Emily muttered before she could stop herself. She just wanted to tell someone, to talk about her feelings without them forcing their own opinions onto her. She opened her eyes and gazed down at the dark floor. Maybe she could. She didn't have to give Chloe names or tell her specific details, just enough information.

"Okay, but promise you won't tell anyone...especially not Toshio." Emily said softly, begging her friend with her eyes. Chloe nodded once and turned fully to face Emily, folding her legs beneath her and held up three fingers in the Scout salute.

"I promise, I won't tell anyone." she said earnestly, "Tell me."

"A long time ago, when my parents were still around, Dad had these friends we'd visit. They had two kids around my age so I'd play with them from time to time. I ran into the son a while back and we, uh, we got talking." Emily sighed, "This is stupid."

"No, no it's not. Keep going, Emily." Chloe said taking Emily's hands, "Please?"

"I haven't told anyone this before but that boy, he was...I guess you could say he was my first crush and when I saw him again everything I thought I'd forgotten, all the feelings I thought I'd stopped feeling came back."

"Do you still see him?" Chloe asked tilting her head to the side curiously. Emily shook her head,

"No, we don't even talk anymore. He, um, he got mixed up with the wrong people. I don't even know where he is now." she replied staring at her knees, "He was always kind of distant and closed off but when I saw him again it was like he'd become a totally different person, colder, angrier. I didn't even recognize him at first."

"Did he..." Chloe looked as though she wanted to ask something important but didn't know how to word it delicately, "Did he try anything? Like hurt you or something?" He had. Ayato had tried to take a bite out of her twice. Intentional or not, he had tried.

"No." But she couldn't tell Chloe that, "Actually he protected me." Chloe's eyebrows shot up,

"What? Protected you? From who? From what?" she queried in a flurry. Emily raised her hands to calm her friend,

"It was nothing serious. Just some drunk guy when I was walking home." she lied with a shrug, "After that we went out separate ways again. It's just when that guy said 'I wish I knew how to quit you'...It's similar to how I felt...feel."

"Ah, I get why you made me promise not to tell Toshio. You know this kind of thing is normal for girls. I liked more than one guy at one time before. They're usually opposite kinds of people two, like Toshi is probably the sweetest guy in Tokyo if not the nation and from what you've told me about this other guy, he's more the rebellious type. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen." Chloe said, "But you know what, the good guy always wins."

"What if I'm not sure who the good guy is?"

Chloe's blonde brows furrowed in confusion, "What do you mean?"

Emily withdrew her hands from her friend and tugged at her platted hair, "Well, I always thought of good and bad being relative terms. A matter of perspective, you know? Like the CCG and Ghouls for example. The CCG are good in our perspective, but to Ghouls they're bad." she shifted her gaze again from Chloe to the paused TV screen, "What if what I perceive as good is actually bad?"

"Are you saying Toshi is...bad?" Chloe asked trying to understand what Emily was saying. Emily faced her friend again,

"What? No." she said instantaneously, "I love Toshi, I really do. I honestly don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for him, and you, by my side these past few years. But..."

"But you still love this guy too, right?" Chloe asked nodding understandingly. Emily frowned; she'd told Chloe the truth about her dad taking her to Anteiku when she was little. Ayato had always interested her even though he was so distant. Touka had said jokingly once that Ayato was afraid of Emily because she was a human. So she'd tried her very best to seem non-threatening towards him, always asking where he was and if he wanted to play. Then eventually, it became more than ritual. She wanted to play with him, to speak to him. He became her obsession in a way. And so they had practically invented a game, Emily would seek him out on purpose and he'd find new places to hide and watch her and Touka in secret. Even when her father stopped taking her to Anteiku, she'd find an excuse to go just to see Ayato. She'd caught glimpses of him from time to time but their gazes never met once. Thinking back on those times, she realized that it wasn't just curiosity that kept her going to find him. She'd liked him.

And she loved him still.

"I'm sorry about telling you all this." she said softly, "It's stupid."

"Don't be, I'm glad you're talking to me." Chloe replied, "This is what sleep overs are about anyway."

Emily smiled at her friend, "If you say so, but I just mean it's stupid because I'm never going to see him again so there's no point to any of these things I'm feeling."

"How can you be so sure you're never going to see him again? Who knows, you could see him tomorrow or next week or a few months from now." Chloe grinned and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Aren't you supposed to be steering me away from that possibility?"

"I'm your friend, I'm supposed to help you find the road that will lead to happiness. As long as you're happy, that's all I care about."

April 18, 12:15pm

Emily felt they eyes of every Ghoul in the entire cafe watching her closely. She'd been to Anteiku as a customer before, but never with two others belonging to CCG families. Sure Chloe was far too preoccupied in making sure she looked perfect for Daichi, and trying not to throw up from nerves, and Toshio would be just as oblivious to scrutinize the employees and customers too much if at all. That didn't matter though, Emily could tell from the heated glare she was receiving from Touka that it didn't. She sighed and stirred her coffee some more.

"Are you sure you told him the right place?" Chloe asked checking the time on her phone for the seventeenth time.

"Yeah, he knows. It's not even 12:30 yet." Emily replied as she took a sip. As always, Anteiku's coffee was amazing. She glanced around, avoiding Touka's gaze, at the staff, customers and decor. Her sight landed on a familiar face behind the counter with Koma.

"Excuse me for a moment." she said standing up and wandering over. Koma looked up and smiled at her instantly,

"Emily-san, I didn't see you sitting there. Not here to see the Manager today?" he asked with a warm smile, making the eye-patch wearing boy look up from what he was doing.

"Not today." she replied, "How are you doing, Kaneki-san?"

"Oh, um, fine. Thanks. I still can't make coffee as good as the Manager but at least I know what I'm doing now." he replied with that awkward smile.

"Not to worry, Kaneki-kun, not even I, the Dev-"

"Koma-san! Two Americanos over here please!" a customer called at just the right time.

"Coming up!" Koma set about making the coffees, leaving Kaneki and Emily alone briefly.

"So are you here with friends?" he asked curiously. Emily nodded, "A date actually." She stood to the side, clearing the view to her friends and ignored the obvious flinch from Kaneki when she said date. Yoshimura had told her about what happened to him, how a simple date had turned into a nightmare.

He frowned slightly, "Don't you usually need an even number for a date?"

"We're one short at the moment, he should be here in a few minutes though." she replied casually, "So when I asked you how you were doing, I meant, you know." she tapped just underneath her left eye. "I feel like I don't ask you enough when I come here."

He shook his head, "It's like anything, good days and bad days. Sometimes I wake up thinking it was all just a bad dream, sometimes I'm fine with it. Working here really helps too."

"Well, good." she said just as the door opened. Glancing up she saw Daichi walk in, running his hand through his slicked back dark hair, "Ah, I gotta go. But hey, look, if you ever need to talk or whatever just come by. My door's always open."

"Thanks, Emily-chan." he replied scratching the back of head cutely. Emily smiled once more at him and went back to join her friends just as Daichi reached their table.

"Hey man." Emily greeted him easily, "Chloe, this is Kato Daichi, he works at the bookstore with me. Daichi, my friend Chloe Walker." She took her seat next to Toshio and watched as Daichi and Chloe greeted each other.

"Who were you talking to?" Toshio asked quietly as the other two talked amongst themselves briefly.

"Hmm?" Emily looked up at him, "Oh, I know him from the book store."

"Ahh." he replied with a glance over to where Kaneki was making another coffee for someone, "He looks the type. Is he okay?"

"The eye patch?" she asked guessing what he was talking about. Toshio nodded, "He was in an accident a little while ago but he's doing fine now."

"Poor guy. He seems like the type to have a lot of bad luck." Toshio said sympathetically. Emily gazed at her boyfriend as his attention was stolen by Daichi introducing himself. Toshio was really intuitive and a fantastic judge of character; those two factors were part of why he passed the aptitude test with flying colours. He was a natural and that would make him a dangerous Investigator some day.

"Should we order?" Daichi asked catching Emily's attention. She cleared her thoughts, now wasn't the time to be thinking of the future. There would be plenty of time to do that when she wasn't on a date.

10:45pm

Yomo Renji was relaxing in his home with a freshly poured cup of coffee thinking about how troublesome that Hamada boy was getting. He'd heard from both Uta and Yoshimura that his father had made him take the standard aptitude test that all potential students of the CCG Academy take and had gotten one of the highest scores on record, allegedly without even trying. Then today, he had been in Anteiku with Emily and two others. A double date, Emily had told him. But when he'd asked who chose the venue she was reluctant to admit it had been him. It didn't matter if Emily claimed he wasn't interested in being an Investigator, Hamada Toshio was a problem.

A low buzzing on the wooden table caught his attention, the number that flashed on the screen wasn't in his contacts, but he knew it. That's really all Renji needed tonight, a phone call from him.

"Yomo-kun, good evening." the speaker said in a low, muffled voice. Renji frowned at nothing,

"Something wrong?" he asked curiously. The voice cleared their throat and when they spoke again, their voice was back to normal,

"No, sorry, I was finishing a coffee. I have a question for you." the voice said, "About two weeks ago, a tragic accident occurred on a construction site. A stack of steel beams fell on two young people. The girl allegedly died at the scene and her organs were transplanted into the boy without the consent of her family. You know this story, yes?"

"Yes." Renji replied. Of course he knew. That was a ridiculous question, even for him.

"Am I also correct to assume you know the real story then? That the girl was one of us and that that boy is now a half-breed?" the speaker asked although it wasn't really a question.

"Yes." Renji repeated. The voice 'ahhed' on the other side,

"Of course you do. He was given a place at Anteiku, wasn't he? I saw him there the other day."

"Was that the question you wanted to ask?" Renji queried curiously.

The voice became more serious than before, taking on a lower, darker tone, "No. My question to you is do you have any information on why, or more specifically, how those beams came to fall?"

Renji was silent.

"It's quite possible that it was human error and they simply weren't secured properly." the voice continued unfazed by Renji's lack of reply, "Or, perhaps, it wasn't simply human error. Do you think that maybe there could have been another factor that no one took into account? That Kamishiro Rize wasn't crushed beneath them accidentally but rather someone loosened the beams and murdered her? I guess what I should say I'm asking is that do you have an idea who could possibly be behind such an attack?" The phone clicked off signalling that the person on the other end had hung up. Renji sat frozen at the table, the steam from his coffee rose in misty swirls, his phone cooled against his ear.

He knew.

This is a little overdue but thank you everyone for reviewing, favouriting and following this story that started out as just a little drabble of angsty unrequited love. It's because of every single one of you that I can continue writing. Once again, thank you.