Chapter 3: Trouble

The kiss, it is the very definition of beautiful. The kiss wasn't too forceful, but not too gentle either. His lips were perfectly soft and I wish I could kiss his lips forever.

He pulls away, a beautiful smile on his face. "Was that proof enough?" He asks.

I catch my breath, he actually takes my breath away, how incredibly cliché. I look up to him, and try to compose myself; I try to show that the kiss didn't fluster me as much as it did. His dark brown eyes look into mine. How can he be so composed? How can he act so confident in everything he does? I wish we were in wolf form so that I could hear his thoughts. What is he thinking right now? What's he thinking about that kiss? What's his next move? I've never wanted to read someone's mind so badly before. When I was with Sam I knew him so well I could predict his actions. With Jake, I feel like I can never get a clear read on him; I could expect one thing and he'd go and do something completely different. It's unnerving and exciting all at the same time.

I place my arms around his neck, and his arms wrap around my waist. His arms pull me against his body; his warmth is calming, his body is firm but soft. I pull his head closer to my face; his smile grows when I move him closer. I'm about to kiss him but my mind stops me.

Okay, Leah, you like kissing him, and he kissed you, so what? Does that really prove that he'll forget about Nessie? Does that really mean that in a month or a year he won't forget about you and be completely in love with Nessie? Does that mean you won't get your heart broken? He could just be lonely right now, wanting to kiss someone, anyone. You can't take more heartache. You won't survive losing someone like that again, especially if that someone is Jake. Definitely after that kiss. A few more kisses like that, your brain will be all foggy, you won't see things clearly and then what? Then you'll get blindsided when he announces he loves Nessie, and then they'll get married and have kids.

I pull away from him, my hands sliding from his neck to his chest. I look down and back up into his eyes. I can't do this to myself. His face shows concern and worry. I shake my head, trying to form words but I'm not able to find them. Why can't I ever say the right thing? Jake always seems to know the right thing to say and so many others around me, like Jasper, Alice and Seth.

Jake pulls me closer, and holds on tighter with his arms around my back. "You think too much Leah." He says, his eyes searching mine.

"One of us should." I tell him. "You obviously aren't thinking too clearly right now. This is all on impulse. Maybe we should just take a step back, go home and sleep on it. Then we can talk about it later. When we've both seriously thought about it."

"All I've done is think about it Leah." Jake says. "Don't you understand? I've been thinking about this for a long time. I've thought about everything I was going to say a thousand times. I've thought about everything… everything I've wanted to do more than a thousand times. I'm tired of thinking about it. I want to do something about it. Don't you?" He finishes with an expression I've never seen on him before. Is he nervous? I look down and then back to his eyes. Did I want to do something about it? Then something flashes across his face like he just thought of something.

"I've been incredibly stupid." Jake says letting go of me immediately and putting a good six inches between us. "Of course… you don't feel the same way about me. I thought… and then that kiss… I'm so stupid." Jake shakes his head and turns to the ocean. "You would think I'd know when someone didn't have feelings for me. I mean I've been through this before…"

"Jake… you aren't stupid." I say. Be brave, Leah. Just say it. "Wait… I… I do have feelings for you." I gulp down the lump in my throat from nervousness. With that declaration, there is no way of going back. I can't tell him that I don't have feelings for him. It's risky, but he's told me a lot tonight. Jake turns and faces me.

"You do?" He asks, surprised.

I smile slightly. "Yeah. I wouldn't kiss someone I didn't care about the way I just kissed you."

"Why are you so unsure about me Leah?" Jake says, moving closer again.

"Well… you have an imprint Jake. Ever since I became a wolf I've been told that when an imprint is found, that bond can't be severed, no matter what. I've been told about how strong that bond is; I've seen how strong that bond is. I'm sorry I'm a little uncertain about it because in a month or a year you might not want me. And you've been thinking about this for a long time. I haven't. I've forced myself not to think about it because I knew, I knew you had Nessie and one day you two would marry. It would have done absolutely no good for me to have thoughts about you or thoughts about a future with you. This… all of it is a surprise to me. I had no idea you felt for me in any way other than as a pack mate." I move closer to him. I take his hand, his hands are rough from working with cars, but I enjoy the feel of them. "You have to understand Jake. I can't get hurt again… not like before. I don't think, I don't think I'd survive heartache that bad again. So if you think, even a little bit that you'll be attracted to Nessie and that you'll fall in love with her." Jake shakes his head; his free hand tucks my hair behind my ear. "I can't get hurt like that again." I whisper to him. Jake leans down and kisses my neck right where my vein runs. The kiss is gentle as if he felt like I was something precious or fragile. It was different than the kiss earlier. "I'm serious." I whisper.

Jake kisses the spot again and then pulls away. His face is serious, more serious than I've ever seen him. "The last thing I want is to hurt you." Jake says.

"I believe you." I say right before he kisses me on the lips. This kiss is less gentle, but still not forceful. His arms around my waist pull me against him and I can't control the moan that slips out when our bodies collide. My arms wrap around his neck, my hands go into his soft hair, and the feeling of it excites me. I've never touched his hair or run my fingers through it like this before.

After several moments, I break away from the kiss but lean my face against his chest. "We have to take it slowly Jake. If we're going to do this… I need us to go slow." I whisper to him. I take in his now even more familiar scent. Jake gets this huge grin on his face. "What?" I ask him.

"You said us and we." He laughs. "I like that."

I laugh with him and hit him playfully. "You are such a dork."

Jake smiles, "You have to admit… it's nice."

"What's nice?"

"You and me." Jake says.

"It's nice…" I admit. "For now…"

"Always the optimist Leah." Jake says to me, his hands run over my back. Up and down. Up and down.

"I hope that's not the reason you like me, because you'll be extremely disappointed. I've never been known for my optimism Jake." I warn him, slightly worried that would make him run.

Jake laughs. "I know you aren't an optimist Leah. I do know you pretty well. Give me a little credit."

I smile to him. "Can we sit? Do you have to be somewhere?"

"My night is all free." Jake says.

"Would you want to spend it with me?" Leah asks.

"Is that an invitation? I thought we were going slow Leah." Jake winks. I feel the heat rush to my face. Luckily, it is dark and I have russet skin, Jake won't be able to see my embarrassing blushing. "Kidding." He says with a smile, "I couldn't think of a better way to spend it."

I laugh. "You are such a dork." I tell him again.

"You've already said that." Jake points out.

"Well I mean it." I smile. I grab his arm and lead him closer to the ocean when we get to a good spot, we both sit down. Jake gives me a little distance; he must not want to push me tonight. It's nice, having someone respect you enough to listen when you tell them to slow down.

…

Jake and I talk most of the night. When we both got so exhausted we couldn't keep our eyes open, Jake laid down and offered his chest as a pillow. One of Jake's arms rests just below my chest; one of my hands finds his and laces my fingers with his. "I wish I was more optimistic. Then I could believe this could actually work. My thoughts though, keep telling me all of the things that could go wrong." I tell him about to fall asleep.

Jake runs his free hand through my hair. "That's okay Leah. I have enough optimism for both of us and I'm going to prove it to you. I don't plan on this being temporary."

"I hope you prove me wrong Jake." I whisper right before I doze off.

I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat in one ear, and the sound of the ocean in another. Despite, sleeping on a rocky shore, it was the best sleep I can remember.

When I wake up, I wake up before Jake. I turn and look to him. He looks so calm and happy in his sleep. He is so beautiful. I close my eyes and open them again. He's still there, and still nearly perfect.

I'm in so much trouble.

A/N: Hello! Thanks for reading this fic! I'm sorry I haven't replied to the reviews, I will as soon as possible. I really appreciate the reviews they are so uplifting and motivating! You all are so great! Well, I hope you enjoyed this update! I hope to update soon! Bye! –Courtney