MIND AND HEART
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit tribute to the works of JK Rowling who created and, together with her publishers and licensees, owns the characters and settings elaborated herein.
A/N: Spoilers, seventh year fic, begun after OotP and not compatible with HBP or DH, but may contain spoilers. Thanks to all my reviewers and especially to my previewers, Bellegeste, Cecelle and Lady Memory.
Dear Severus,
I understand better now. It must have really hurt to lose your friend to your enemy because you were trying to protect her from him.
But something doesn't fit. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not presuming to imagine I understand your life better than you do. All I know is that sometimes people say things they don't mean or that they're sorry about later, and I think perhaps neither of us is especially good at seeing into other people's hearts, especially people we dislike. (At least, I know you never saw into Harry's.)
Maybe I just want to believe that Harry had two good relatives (because the Dursleys were unbelievably nasty), but are you sure Harry's dad didn't care even a bit about your life? You say your friend loved him. Could she have been so shallow, or so gullible, as to love someone that petty? Can you believe that of her mind and heart?
For myself, I remember how Draco used to revel in the Basilisk's attacks all through second year and gleefully tell me "You're next, Mudblood!" He was still gloating about "Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers first!" after Cedric died, and I believe he really meant it too. He hated us then. But when it came to the point last year, he tried to protect us. I never would have expected that.
Hermione
PS I'm looking forward to Sunday too. Maybe we could meet for dinner?
PPS Did I understand your letter right? You thought Professor Lupin's friends might be making him hurt himself for fun and he might be as much their victim as you were? You were trying to protect him?
Ouch. It must have been a shock, after keeping his secret all that time, to hear him tell us they were wonderful friends who made him happier than he'd ever been. Is that why you were so angry that night? (But still, isn't calling him "their pet werewolf" a bit much?)
I believe I know more of both werewolves in general and Lupin in particular than you. I call him their pet werewolf because so they treated him and so he reacted. I had wondered sometimes if they were holding his secret over him, or if the consciousness alone was what caused him to collude in what he knew was wrong. He made a very unfit prefect.
He revealed more than the wilful complicity of his youth on the night he almost bit you. It was as much his selfish negligence of having, all year, concealed guilty knowledge of Black's possible means of ingress, as his reckless endangerment of you three, that compelled me to end my silence.
I would never so traduce Lily as to suppose her gullible or shallow. She was deceived, but I cannot blame her. Why should she be more discerning than the headmaster? Love is blind, they say.
I'm afraid I can't get away very early. I'll meet you outside the theatre at 7.15. Perhaps we could dine afterwards.
S
A/N While writing the previous chapter, it occurred to me that for Lupin's secret to have lasted past his OWLs year, Snape must have told no one but Lily. That suggests he was keeping the secret even before "he was forbidden to tell anyone by Dumbledore". This chapter is my attempt to understand why.
"He tried to protect us" refers to Draco having changed sides in this story, but it could also apply to the one or two occasions in DH where Draco acted equivocally, appearing to shield the trio from others.