Chapter 8:
Two weeks later, I'm fixing lunch for Seth and Maggie when Embry, Quil and Jake walk in. "Hey guys!" I call from the kitchen as I'm stirring the pasta. Arms wrap around me and familiar lips kiss my neck. I smile.
"Hey Lee," Jake whispers then he kisses my neck again.
"Get a room!" Embry calls to us from the couch in the living room.
I laugh and spin to face Embry. "Where's Lily?"
"She's spending some time with Emily," Embry smiles and I nod. "What are you fixing us?"
"I'm fixing Seth and Maggie some pasta." I tell him with a smile and stir the pasta again.
"Ouch, man she's not even going to give you some Jake." Embry smiles, "What a lousy girlfriend you are."
"Maybe Seth will share some of his with you guys." I tell them and I turn back to face Jake. I smile and kiss him on the lips then pull away. "I'm such a lousy girlfriend." I smile bigger and laugh a little.
Jake wraps his arms tighter around my waist and pulls me against him. "I never said that. I think you are a wonderful girlfriend, the best girlfriend. You're so nice and pretty."
"You want some pasta don't you?" I ask him suspiciously.
"Of course, I love your cooking, but that's not the reason I said that." Jake smiles.
"Of course not, what else do you want?" I say to him.
Jake looks down, "I'm going to have to postpone our movie date."
I smile, "I knew you wanted something." My smile falls, when I think about how much I really wanted to go to the movies with him. We've been going on "real" dates. It was Jake's idea, part of the taking it slow, but I think it was to make us both think that we are two normal people having a normal relationship with no risk of either of us getting hurt. I've really been enjoying them two days ago we went stargazing on a nearby mountain, and before that we went on picnic by the beach, and before that one we went on a dinner date. It was working too, I felt normal, and we got to know each other better the way normal couples did. And honestly, after every date I think I fell for him more and more. "Why do you need to cancel? Is Billy okay?" I ask, suddenly ashamed of my selfishness. Jake wouldn't cancel unless there was a good reason.
"Billy's great! He hasn't been this great since my mom died. I think he isn't worrying about me as much." Jake says. "This is hard for me to say, because you will probably get mad at me."
"That's not a great way to start this." I tell him. I can hear everyone in the house has quieted down, curious about what we are talking about. I look to Seth, "Seth can you make sure the noodles and sauce don't burn. I'll be back in a few minutes." When he says "Sure" I grab Jake's hand and lead him out to my backyard. Jake looks at our hands and then back to my eyes. "What is it? Jake you're scaring me…" I say trying to read his face, but it just looks scared and disappointed. "Oh no, did it happen? You love her don't you?" I let go of his hand and turn away from him. I try to control my breathing, I'm hurt and angry but with who? Jake, Nessie, but mostly, I'm mad at myself. I let myself fall for him and now, look at me.
"No!" Jake says grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards him. "It's just the Cullens told me they needed to talk to me today in a little bit and they seemed like it was pretty urgent. I just knew it would upset you that I'm cancelling our plans because of the Cullens."
"So you aren't in love with her?" I ask him. He shakes his head and I release a sigh of relief. "Seriously Jake, don't do that."
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I just hate that I have to cancel." He tells me and moves a stray hair out of my face.
I smile, "It is okay, we can reschedule."
"Really? You aren't mad?" Jake asks cautiously.
"Not really. I'm disappointed, but it seems like nothing after I thought you loved her." I tell him and he smiles then kisses my lips.
"I'll be back as soon as possible, and then maybe we could catch that movie afterwards." Jake says.
I shake my head, "Don't rush back. You haven't seen her in a couple of days. I can tell you miss her Jake. You try to hide it, but I can see it."
Jake looks down and then his eyes find mine again. "You know me so well Leah. I don't want you to think the wrong thing though. It's like I'm supposed to be with her it's like a forced missing. It's like if I'm not with her for a certain amount of time I ache, and I get more aggressive. I yelled at Quil on the way here, and pushed him against a tree just because he asked me a question I didn't like. I feel so out of control, like this isn't even my body or I have no control over it."
"I understand. She's your imprint. You have to be with her." I tell him and my voice isn't as steady as I want it to be. I hope he doesn't hear it.
Jake's face shows that he does notice it. His arms wrap around my waist, and I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck. My fingers find his hair and I mess with it. I focus on that for a second instead of everything else. "But then I'm with you, and I'm myself. I don't miss her; it's not forced on me anymore. I don't feel angry anymore, I don't feel like I could throw a crowd into a tree. I want you to know that it is better when I'm with you; it is gone when I'm with you. I'd still choose being with you any day."
I smile and kiss him gently then pull away. "Lucky for you, right now you can have both."
"I wish there was only you." Jake whispers before kissing my forehead.
"Me too." I whisper as I lean more into him. I look up to him, "My mom set a date for the wedding." I tell him with a small smile.
"Oh really?" He smiles, "What's the date?"
"A week from tomorrow." I say.
"That's pretty fast." Jake says.
"Yeah, they don't want to waste any time." I smile.
"I can see that. Well you and I are going to dance Leah Clearwater." Jake smiles.
"Why?" I ask him.
"Because, I've wanted to dance with you forever." Jake smiles. "Promise me we'll dance at that wedding, even if it is one dance."
I smile, "I promise."
We kiss each other for a few moments and then I pull away. "You should go to the Cullens so you can get back faster." I tell him.
"I like your logic." Jake smiles and kisses my cheek. "I'll see you soon okay?" I nod and he runs into the woods, changing into his wolf form at the edge.
I walk back into the house. When Maggie asks me where Jake went I tell her he had to see the Cullens.
"Well, you're coming to the party at Sam's tonight. Everyone is going to be there. It's going to be so much fun. I'm not taking no for an answer," Seth declares.
"Why would I want to go to another party at Sam's?" I ask him.
"Because you never get out anymore. You are either with Jake, or work, or asleep. You need a life. The party will be fun. If you don't like it after thirty minutes you can leave." Seth tells me. I sigh. "Like I said, I'm not taking no for an answer. I'll drag you there if I have to."
"Fine, but after thirty minutes I'm going to be coming home." I tell him.
"If you aren't having fun, fine." Seth nods as he puts a piece of pasta in his mouth. He has a goofy smile on his face. He's satisfied.
"He's almost as stubborn as you," Embry nudges me with his elbow with a chuckle.
"Yeah I know," I smile. "I've got to do something about it when I get the chance."