A/N:
So hey guys! I haven't got a proper authors note up here but I just wanted to say, 'hey, remember you love me? Don't forget that when reading this."
I don't know, if you'll like it or not. I guess you have to read it first.
And I have to stop randomly typing. I babble far too much when I'm writing. Well actually it's because I'm trying to get an overall of two thousand words so the fact that I've spent hours actually typing this story seems even better :P
It surprises me that I'm even allowed to write when I have the attention span of a three year old.
"How the hell could he have been expelled? I mean have you heard anything on his behalf from the school before? He's never gotten in such trouble before. Bloody hell. I always thought he was a good kid at school but I guess we were wrong," Even hours later my mother still couldn't get over the idea of my expulsion. The whole trip home in the car with my parents had cost me nothing but my sanity as they constantly interrogated me over the matter.
"Phil, do you realise what this means to me?" My father groaned as he tapped the dining room table frantically, "You realise how my image matters to me if I wish to win the votes? Do you realise that if word gets around that my son, my son, has been expelled then you have ruined all my chances for becoming a member of the party?" His voice rises as he slaps the table hard making my mother jump, "Do you realise the damage you've done?" He hisses.
I ignored him, nervously biting my nails in an annoying manner as I returned to my former bad habit whilst the silence echoed around the room.
"Stop biting your bloody nails!" My mother cried finally.
Obediently I dropped my arms to my side.
"Look, boy," He growled, pulling out a box of cigarettes before lighting one up. A sign of him feeling stressed or angry or in this case, both. At the sight of them my mother sighed. She hates him smoking more than she hates me biting my nails, "Look, boy. I have had enough of your silence. Tell me why you attacked this boy unprovoked or I will bloody well make you tell me,"
"It wasn't unprovoked," I cried, "He started it! It isn't fair; I was defending Dan, that's all. The teachers have got it wrong. They always do!"
"Your teachers have been more than helpful giving us advice on how to help you, thank you very much. Don't start putting all the blame on them. You're the deranged one picking on all the other students,"
I scoffed at the idea, "As if!"
"And that Dan kid?" He continued, ignoring me, "Yeah, I heard about him too. He helped you from what the teachers have gathered. Lucky he wasn't expelled too. At least his parents don't have to suffer the same shame that we do. Like I said, the teachers have proved more than useful. They've even promised to keep it quiet from the press or I'd be fucked up in the polls"
"You don't understand half of it!" I screamed, "You haven't noticed that every day after school I've come home beaten and bloody. You haven't noticed that I self harmed over all the abuse I get at school. You haven't noticed that I've been living in such a hell recently that I've been so close to just ending it all. Ending everything. You know nothing! " I stopped panting whilst watching the pair share the same expression. One of disgust and disbelief.
"You're a liar!" He yelled, "A dirty little liar! A messed up one at that!"
"Don't you think your father and I would have noticed if all that was true? What kind of parents do you think we are?" My mother added harshly.
"I will be needing a strong drink or two after this conversation," I heard him mutter.
"Crap ones" I rolled my sleeves up slowly, a feeling of vindication washing over me.
Their reactions were unexpected. My mother burst into tears and ran out crying, saying that she couldn't whilst my fathers glare became harder, his face turning a bright shade of red then purple and then red again. It would have looked quite comical if it weren't for the fact that he looked like he was going to have a stroke right there and then.
"You're a disgusting, disturbed little freak," He managed to growl, "You just want some attention. Are you getting a kick out of making your mother ill? Are you enjoying acting like such a troubled kid?"
"Why don't you understand? Why can't you just cut the crap and give a damn about me, Dad!"
"You're a lucky kid that I haven't kicked you out of this house yet, young man! But, I won't have you ruining our lives anymore. Did you realise how ill you have made your mother? And I will be damned if people find out about you and your actions. Go to your room, Phil. You'll be called down when I manage to think of what to do with you. Get out of my sight. You make me sick."
Feeling close to sobbing I ran out of the dining area and thundered up the stairs and into my room. With no sense of control I raced around, back and forth, feeling almost insane. Looking across from where I stood I saw a flash of silver as the razor poked out of where I had last left it. The tempting, flash of silver.
No one would care. Nobody cares anyway.
With tears still falling down my face I walked towards it, refusing to look at anything other than the razor. With a feeling of relief I picked it up in the way I always do.
I'm sorry, Dan, I think to myself, but you don't understand. I can't do this anymore. I give up. That's it. It's gone too far. I won't do anything drastic. I won't kill myself. Even if I tried I couldn't leave Dan. Not now, not when I have him.
But a little reminder won't hurt. Not much anyway.
I close my eyes and ignore the noises around me, blocking them out.
However after a few minutes I can hear a sound from my window getting louder and louder.
Stop it nature. Leave me alone.
Another tear falls and another knock on my window distracts me. I open my eyes and almost swear as somehow Dan's face is there, right by my window, frantically trying to tell me something only to be deafened by the window. He looks panicky and I'm worried at what he might do next.
He's getting pissed now and started to attempt hitting the window again. I dropped the razor and lifted my finger to my mouth before pointing downstairs. This was something my parents didn't need to witness. Not that they would hear over the television blasting from downstairs.
I ran and carefully opened the window pulling him in from the tiny edge he was stood upon, a little too enthusiastically actually, making him fall on top of me in a heap on the thick carpet which thankfully muffled the crash.
"Dan, what are you doing here?" I whispered as he stood up looking down at me, dusting himself down.
"Coming to see you of course, and a good thing to, what the hell are you doing?"
"You came to see me?" I mumbled.
"Well yes," He scratched his head, "I knew you'd probably have a hard time at home so I thought I'd come and comfort you,"
A thought struck me, "How did you know this was my room?"
"I'm magic," He smiled and then his face dropped as he noticed the metal object behind me, "Phil," His voice was strained as he slowly looked down at me, "Phil, what is this?"
I looked away, "I'm sorry," I muttered.
"I thought you had stopped this!" He cried, I panicked, as his voice became louder, "I thought you had me!"
"Ssh!" I cried, "I'm sorry, okay? I just reached for it because I've had the shittest day and can't exactly talk, I mean, you don't even understand!"
I burst into tears and Dan reached for me, pulling me into his strong arms.
"I'm so sorry, Phil," He whispered, "I'm so sorry,"
I hiccupped against him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He murmured above me, I shook my head, drenching him further with my tears.
"I'm here for you, okay?" He whispered and I nodded, not wanting to talk ever again.
"I really love you Phil,"
"I love you too"
And it hit me that, that was the first time I had confessed my love to him like that. And it definitely wasn't the last time.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that," He laughed, cupping his hand around his ear.
I looked up at him with a watery smile, "Dan Howell, I love you,"
"And that's all I need to know,"
He leant down and gently kissed my lips running his hands around my waist pulling me closer to him. I responded eagerly with my own hands snaking around his shoulders to run along his hair. The kiss started gentle but became stronger until we were kissing like there was no freaking tomorrow. The odd sounds that escaped our mouths were moans as we continued kissing deeper. The feeling of electricity still pulsing through my body.
"One of these days, I swear I'll pass out and if I do, I'll blame you," I accused him, still smiling.
He opened his mouth to respond but it was interrupted as with horror I turned around to see my parents standing by the now open door, their own faces full off disgust. I realized my arms were around Dan's, our faces inches away, and if they had been here minutes ago then they would have seen more. Which I guessed they had by the looks on their faces.
"What is this filth that you've done?" My mum cried pointing at Dan and I still locked in our embrace, he turned pale.
"How dare you sin in our house!" My father thundered as he reached to grab my arm and pull me violently towards the wall, away from Dan.
"Get out of my house!" He screamed at Dan who ignored him and rushed over to me, "I said get out!" He screamed again aiming to throw the closest book he could find at Dan.
"Dan. Go, I'll be okay" I whispered loudly enough for him to hear.
He nodded as he ducked the book thrown at him "I'm sorry, I love you, Phil!" He ran out of the room whilst my father tried to calm himself down with effort.
He turned to face me, "You've really done it this time, boy"
A/N: Whoa, I'm so sorry!
For:
A) Not uploading sooner, I have no real excuse. I just didn't know what to wriiite! DX It was a very bad case of writers block.
B) Being mean to Phil. I love him really! And I bet he has really nice parents in real life. But because I'm evil, I changed that.
C) I actually can't remember what I was supposed to add last so I'll just say turtles in this one. TURTLES.
I'll upload as soon as but I'm not promising anything too particularly soon! Sorry DX
Oh right yeah I remember now. I know I caused a huge shit storm last time with the whole moo ha ha let's split them up already.
Well please chill because I had to write something! And it's okay no matter what I write; my story shall end very happily. Because I don't like sad things. They make me turn into a walrus.
I'll updaaaate sooooon!
CIAO FOR NOW!