Disclaimer- I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.

My starlings! My starlings!

Yes, that's right, I'm back! Exams are over... so I should be able to update more frequently, but my school is having some yearly celebration, which means they work us like slaves. (-_-)

Anyway, here it is!

Yes, yes, I know, I'm a pitiless monster.

But this isn't even the worst yet.

Chapter title and lyrics borrowed from AC/DC.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

On with it, shall we?

CHAPTER SEVEN- IF YOU WANT BLOOD (YOU'VE GOT IT)

Thirty years.

Thirty years I've spent screaming in hell.

It feels like a century.

Here, in Lucifer's cage, my whole definition of pain has changed.

Lucifer has stripped away everything but my ability to feel pain.

My ability to scream.

I find it oddly freeing- it is easier to just shriek.

I do not need to be reminded of who I am.

Of what I am.

Lucifer has offered me the same choice Alistair did.

Every time I refuse, the pain gets worse.

If that's possible.

I don't know how much longer I can last.

I am weakening.

This is something I'm not strong enough to handle.

But I've never been strong enough for anything.

I am locked in a cage of blood and bone and fear with the devil himself.

There is nothing I can do to evade his wrath.

It is freezingly, numbingly cold.

I have long since stopped screaming.

I am too busy choking on my own blood.

Lucifer begins taunting me, and I close my eyes.

This is more than I can take.

"It's animal, livin' in a human zoo," Lucifer drawls.

"Feeling like a Christian, locked in a cage,"

I press my lips together, keeping my eyes shut.

I do not want to see the mockery I have become.

"Thrown to the lions, on the second page."

I find my voice again.

It comes out in a scream.

Lucifer dips his finger in my blood.

"If you want blood, you got it,

Blood on the streets, blood on the rocks,

Blood in the gutter, every last drop."

I stare at the red liquid pooling between my arms.

"So, what's it gonna be, Odette?" Lucifer says conversationally.

I can't do it.

I just can't.

I'm not strong enough.

I never was.

This is just the final straw.

Hell has broken me.

Lucifer has broken me.

If I hated myself before, it is nothing compared to what I feel now.

The tears trickle down my cheek.

I'm sorry, Dean, Sam. I'm going to let you down. I don't have the strength to go on any longer.

My last thought before I give myself up is that Cas was right to leave me.

Forgive me, Castiel.

I spit out blood and seal my doom.

"I'll do it," I say.

Lucifer pulls away.

I can sense his satisfaction.

I curse myself for being so weak.

He continues singing, still mocking me.

"It's criminal,

There ought to be a law,

Criminal,

There ought to be a whole lot more,

You get nothing for nothing,

Tell me who can you trust,

We got what you want,

And you got the lust."

I shakily get to my feet.

Lucifer does not stop me.

I loathe myself for what I am about to do, but I am too weak.

I'm signing my own death warrant.

My voice does not sound like my own as I speak.

It is cold, and foreign.

Indifferent.

"Tell me what to do."

Lucifer silently hands me a knife.

It is slick with my own blood.

Soon, it will be covered with someone else's.

I finally have a name for myself here.

Monster.