Chapter 5 Grilled Cheesus
The summer went by way too quickly for the Hudson-Hummel household. Puck and Finn had their summer jobs at the tire shop, while Quinn and Noelle got summer jobs as well. Noelle had gotten a job as a greeter at the local supermarket, handing out weekly ads and welcoming customers to the store. It wasn't great pay, but it beat having to borrow money from Carole and Burt all the time. Quinn also got a job at the supermarket as a cashier and she and Noelle would work the same shifts so they could travel together. For their four hour shifts each day, Kurt would watch Beth if Carole wasn't home, and to Puck's dismay, Kurt found this as an excuse to dress up his "niece" in the latest baby fashions. Quinn thought Beth looked adorable the first time she saw Beth in a designer baby outfit.
Now it was the first day back to school. Everyone in the Glee Club except for Tina and Artie were juniors and Mr. Schue decided that they needed to recruit some new faces. Unfortunately, no one was interested, despite the Glee Club being a popular group. That is, until Finn found the new kid Sam Evans, one of the new running backs on the football team. Josh and Artie had also made the team.
"Hi, I'm Sam," said Sam as he introduced himself to the Glee Club. "Sam I am." Noelle groaned.
"Great, another comedian," muttered Santana.
Later that afternoon, everyone but Finn was out of the Hudson-Hummel house. Puck and Quinn had taken Beth to the park, Noelle had gone to Josh's house to "study", Kurt was over at Rachel's having a movie night with her and Mercedes, and Burt and Carole were both at work.
"Man I'm so hungry," said Finn as he rummaged through the fridge. "Looks like it's grilled cheese for me again." Finn busted out the George Foreman grill and slathered butter over the top and bottom of the grill. He pressed his sandwich down and waited about five minutes. When he lifted the lid up, Finn stopped and stared at the face of God. He had made a Grilled Cheesus.
Crap... thought Finn. But I'm so hungry. What do I do? Finn cut the sandwich down the middle, trying not to destroy the image of Jesus that had been grilled on one side. He ate the other half, and then took the holy half of his sandwich upstairs to his room.
"Dear Grilled Cheesus, first off, you're super delicious. Please Grilled Cheesus, please let us win our first football game. It would mean so much to Artie. I mean, I think you kinda owe it to him and you did kind of screw him in the leg department. And in return, Cheesy Lord, I'll make sure we honor you in Glee Club next week."
Needless to say, the next night, Finn and Artie scored the winning touchdown at the football game.
Monday came and the New Directions were gathered in the choir room, waiting for Mr. Schue to arrive.
"Uh, you guys? Where's Noelle?" asked Will as he walked in.
"I think she's in the bathroom," said Quinn. "Rachel went to go find her."
"Well, while we're waiting for them, I have an idea on what we are going to do this week in Glee Club," said Finn. "Faith and Religion."
"Great idea," said Will.
"Well it was just going to be Jesus, but Rachel and Puck are Jewish, and some people have other faiths so it's all good," said Finn. Just then, everyone heard a scream. Rachel's scream. The group rushed out into the hallway and found Rachel running towards them.
"It's Noelle!" exclaimed Rachel. "She collapsed in the bathroom!"
"What! Oh my god!" cried Kurt and Finn.
"Mercedes, go get Emma and call 9-1-1," said Will as he followed Josh, Kurt, Finn and Rachel into the bathroom. One of the Cheerios was kneeling next to an unconscious Noelle.
"Noelle, baby, can you hear me?" asked Josh as he cradled Noelle's head.
"Don't move her," said Will. "Noelle? Noelle? Can you hear us?"
"Family of Noelle Hudson?" asked the doctor as the New Directions, Burt, Carole, Will, and Emma gathered in the emergency waiting room. Judy had rushed to McKinley from her job and had taken Beth home so that Puck and Quinn could be there for their friends.
"I'm Burt Hummel. This is my fiance, Carole Hudson. We're her parents," said Burt, standing up. "How is she Doc?"
"Mr. Hummel, Ms. Hudson, your daughter blacked out," said the doctor. "However, the reason for this is partially because Noelle is eight weeks pregnant." Everyone gasped and sixteen pairs of eyes landed on Josh.
"What? Are you serious? That's impossible!" cried Josh. "We both used protection."
"Looks like you two were the unlucky ones," teased Puck.
"I have some other unfortunate news though," continued the doctor.
"I thought you said she was okay?" replied Tina.
"Well, we had to run tests to determine the cause of her blackout, and we discovered that Noelle was misdiagnosed with MS. Mr. Hummel, Ms. Hudson, your daughter actually has a rare spinal condition. She has severe scoliosis which actually pinched her spinal cord together, which is why she cannot walk. This also caused a lack of blood to flow to her head and it forced her to black out. If we operate, it could harm both her and the baby. If we don't operate, she will never walk at all and the chances of her conceiving again are slim to none. I'm sorry."
The girls started to cry as the boys sat in shock, along with Burt, Carole, Will and Emma.
"Can we see her please?" asked Finn.
"You may," said the doctor. "The sight of her might be a bit of a shock to you though."
The group came to Noelle's room on the ICU and everyone gasped at the sight of Noelle. She was breathing on her own, but IV tubes were attached to her. A fetal monitor was draped across her stomach and Josh cried as he heard his baby's heartbeat for the first time. Finn pulled him into a hug.
"Hi baby," whispered Carole as she came up to Noelle's bedside. She placed her hand on Noelle's head. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you when you said you weren't feeling good today. I should have see the signs."
"I think what your mother is trying to say," began Burt, "is hang in there, kiddo. We love you. We'll help you and Josh with the baby too. Come back to us."
Finn came up to his sister next, Kurt standing on the other side.
"Hey, everyone's here for you, sis," said Finn. "You gotta pull through, alright? We need you for sectionals. And the wedding. Josh needs you most of all."
"Beth needs her aunt," Quinn stated to Noelle's unconscious body. "Come on Noelle, please wake up."
After the rest of the New Directions, Will and Emma, talked to Noelle, Josh sat down next to Noelle's bedside. Will and Emma ushered everyone else out so Josh could be alone with his girlfriend.
"Mr. Hummel, Ms. Hudson, we need to discuss your options," said the doctor, leading them into the hallway.
"Burt? Carole?" said Josh, turning to them and the doctor. "If we have to, save her and the baby, please."
Burt and Carole nodded and Josh returned his attention to Noelle.
"Hey baby," said Josh as he took hold of Noelle's hand. "I love you. I love you so much, and I'm going to love our baby even more. I don't know what I would do without you. Please wake up baby. Come back to me."
"Dear Grilled Cheesus, I know I should be asking you for help with Noelle," said Finn later that evening as he sat in his room. "But everyone is so torn up over her being permanently paralyzed and in that coma. And Rachel, I feel like we should just start living life to the fullest, but she won't even let me get to second base. My own baby sister got lucky before I did. Please Grilled Cheesus, let Rachel let me touch her boobs."
A knock came at Finn's door and he quickly hid the Grilled Cheesus under his bed.
"Come in," he stated. The door swung open and Rachel stood there, tears streaming down her face.
"Hey baby, oh come here," said Finn, pulling a hysterical Rachel into his arms.
"Oh Finn, it's not fair, why Noelle?" sobbed Rachel.
"I don't know," said Finn. He looked Rachel in the eyes.
"What is it?" asked Finn as he saw an uncertainty in her eyes.
"Finn, let's talk about your new found love for Jesus, and how it's affecting me," said Rachel.
"Okay," said Finn, sitting down on his chair.
"I need to know that when I've won a bunch of Tony's and I'm 25 and ready to have intercourse and babies..." started Rachel.
"You don't think you're going to have sex until your twenty-five?" replied Finn, his eyebrows raised.
"My fathers' people were slaves once. I need to know that our babies will be raised in the Jewish faith."
"Yeah, they should totally go to temple and wear those hats and eat that salty orange stuff on their bagels," said Finn with a smile. Rachel smiled.
"Let's lay down on the bed," said Rachel. Finn's palms started to sweat as he nodded and the two of them laid in the queen-sized bed.
"Finn?" asked Rachel.
"Yeah babe?" replied Finn.
"I lied, I don't want to wait," said Rachel. "I want you right now."
Finn's lips met Rachel's in a fiery crash as Finn struggled for a condom in his nightstand drawer. As Finn rested his hand on Rachel's boob after she placed it there, Finn looked to the ceiling.
"Thank you Grilled Cheesus," whispered Finn as Rachel kissed his neck.
"You sure?" Finn said to Rachel this time. Rachel nodded and Finn tore open the condom pack excitedly as clothes were shed and thrown to the floor.
Everyone visited Noelle everyday. Flowers and cards from friends, family and strangers filled the room. Carole and Burt opted against the surgery, hoping their daughter would wake up alive and strong. Noelle, however, had miscarried the baby the day after she had collapsed, and Josh had been heartbroken because he had witnessed it.
The Glee Club took turns singing to Noelle and praying in her room after school. Kurt shocked everyone when he declared he was Atheist. Also, everyone was shocked to see that Sue Sylvester had returned to McKinley. The school board had reinstated her when they had learned about the religion craze sweeping through McKinley and Sue was determined to bring the glee club down once and for all. That changed when Sue had visited Noelle at the hospital and saw how broken everyone was.
Now Josh was sitting alone with Noelle as Finn sat in the hallway, his grilled cheesus laying on his lap.
"Dear Grilled Cheesus, I'm really asking you for help with Noelle here," said Finn. "Please heal her completely. Let her wake up, and if it's possible, could you help her out in the leg department? I think you owe it to her too."
Finn started to cry as Puck came around the corner with drinks in his hand from the cafeteria.
"Dude, the cafeteria burned your grilled cheese," said Puck. As Puck went to walk back to Noelle's room, he froze.
"Dude Finn, get over here quick!" said Puck.
"What? What is it?" asked Finn, standing up and racing to Noelle's room. The two stood in shock as they witnessed the miracle.
"Hey guys," said Noelle, as she, along with help from Josh, walked towards them. "Isn't this great? I can walk! Well, sort of! I think I'll need more time to get used to this."
"Holy crap, you're awake and you're walking?!" cried Finn. He looked to the ceiling. "Thank you God."
By then, a couple nurses had come to see what all of the fuss was and one of the nurses nearly fainted at the sight of Noelle up and about.
"Can I take a piss first?" grumbled Noelle as Josh helped her to the bathroom while the other nurse ordered her back to bed so the doctors could look her over.
"I have no medical explanation for it," said the doctor to Burt, Carole, Finn, and Noelle a while later as they examined Noelle's new x-rays. "Noelle, your spine is completely healed and straight."
"Praise God," said Carole.
"She will need some physical therapy since she has regained use of her legs," said the doctor, "but she's as good as new otherwise."
Noelle was discharged the next day. The Glee Club had a small moment of silence in the auditorium to remember Josh and Noelle's unborn baby they had lost. Everyone wore white, not black to signify that the baby had been pure and made from love but it just wasn't his or her time yet to be born. Oh, and Finn had finally eaten the Grilled Cheesus, even though it was like a week or two old. It was still good. Noelle was still using her wheelchair here and there while she got used to her legs, but stood to sing the group number for that week.
Noelle:
If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to His face
If you were faced with Him in all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?
Finn with New Directions:
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah
Finn and Rachel:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Finn and Rachel with New Directions:
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Tryin' to make His way home
Tryin' to make His way home
Kurt (with Quinn):
(If God had a face)
What would it look like?
And (Would you want to see?)
If seeing meant that you would (Have to believe)
In things like Heaven (And in Jesus, and the Saints)
And (All the Prophets)
Finn with New Directions:
Yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah
Finn, Mercedes, and Rachel:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Finn, Mercedes, Rachel, and New Directions:
What if God was one of us
Finn and Rachel and New Directions (Mercedes):
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Tryin' to make His way home (Home)
Tryin' to make His way home
Back up to Heaven all alone
Nobody callin' on the phone (Phone)
'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome
Finn with New Directions:
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah
Finn and Rachel with New Directions:
God is good
Yeah, yeah
Finn, Mercedes, Rachel, and New Directions:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Mercedes: Yeah!)
Rachel with New Directions (with Finn):
What if God was one of us (Mercedes: What if God was one of us!)
(Rachel: Oh) Just a (slob like one of us) (Mercedes: Just a slob like one of us!)
(Rachel: Oh) Just a (stranger on the bus)
(Tryin' to make His way home) (Mercedes: Tryin' to make his way home!)
Just (tryin' to make his way home) (Mercedes: Tryin' to find his way home!)
Rachel with New Directions (Mercedes):
Just like a holy rollin' stone (Like a holy rollin' stone)
Finn with New Directions (with Mercedes):
Back up to (Heaven all alone)
Rachel and New Directions (Noelle):
Just tryin' to make his way home (Way home, uuuh)
Noelle (New Directions):
Nobody callin' on the phone (Yeah, yeah, God is great)
'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome (Yeah, yeah, God is good)
(Yeah, yeah, yeah...)
As the song came to an end, everyone gathered in a group hug around Noelle.