Disclaimer- I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.

That's right, Dean and Sam are back!

And so is Cas.

Chapter title borrowed from Adele.

Lyrics borrowed from Shinedown's 'My Name (Wearing Me Out)'

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

On with it, shall we?

My name is worthless like you told me I once was,
My name is empty 'cause you drained away all the love,
My name is searching since you stole my only soul,
My name is hatred, and the reasons we both know.

CHAPTER TEN- MELT MY HEART TO STONE

I move forward cautiously, gripping the knife in one hand.

I keep the angel sword within easy reach, flinging open the door.

My knife clatters to the ground.

I am staring at Dean and Sam Winchester.

~Supernatural~

I spare a brief look at Sam, drinking in his apparent health.

But I have eyes only for Dean.

It's him.

I can feel it.

How has he gotten out?

Dean grins, the same, cocky, arrogant smirk that I love so much.

"Heya, Bambi."

I am across the room in a second, flinging my arms around him, and suddenly, I'm fourteen years old again, reaching on tiptoe to hug Dean.

"Dean," I whisper, burying my head in his shoulder. "Is it really you?"

He wraps his arms around me.

"It's me," Dean says gently.

I inhale in the scent of car oil and leather, a scent so distinctly, inexplicably Dean, and for the first time in days, I feel safe.

Tears collect at the corner of my eyes.

I can almost believe everything will be alright again.

I have my big brother back.

Dean chuckles, ruffling my hair affectionately.

"I've missed you, kid."

I hang on for a second longer, reluctantly letting him go.

"I've missed you too," I murmur.

More than he will ever know.

I turn, slightly shamefacedly, to Sam.

What must he think of me now, abandoning him when he needed me most.

I need not have feared.

Sam extends his arms, and I run into them.

I have both my brothers back.

I brush away a stray lock of hair from Sam's forehead, looking at him properly.

"I'm glad you're here," He says.

With both of them around me, I can almost forget hell.

Hell.

I can't ever tell them.

I sink onto the sofa.

I will have to lie-and that has never been my strong suit.

Dean and Sam join me.

Dean crosses his arms, and this time, his tone is brusque.

"You mind telling us where the hell you've been these past months?"

But I ignore him.

I have finally noticed the third man standing stiffly in the corner.

Or should I say angel?

"You!" I spit, vaulting off the sofa. "You have the nerve to show your face here, after everything!"

I am staring at Castiel.

All my rage collects into one, hot wave of impulse, and I pick up the silver sword, charging Castiel.

However strong I may have become, I still can't beat an angel.

Cas twists it away soon enough, but he finds it more difficult than he expected.

Two twin instincts are warring inside of me.

I love him, and yet I am bitterly, achingly angry with him.

They mix together, my emotions, until I am not sure which is which.

But my sense of betrayal is strongest.

"Out," I snarl. "Out this very instant, you son of a bitch."

It costs me all my energy not to sink to the floor sobbing.

Dean and Sam are looking at us confusedly, but I disregard them.

This is between Cas and me.

His eyes are stricken, but I know better than to fall for his lies.

Not again.

I have given him enough power as it is.

"Odette, please," Cas pleads. "Just let me-"

I do not let him finish.

My fury boils over, and I slap him across the cheek.

It does nothing but bruise my arm, but I'm glad I did it.

Dean pulls me back, but I break away from his hold.

"Get out!" I am dangerously close to tears.

"After everything," I whisper, throat constricted.

"Everything you did, how can you come back here?"

After he'd stomped on my heart and broken it into a million pieces.

"Please ," Cas urges. "Just let me explain. I'm so sorry-"

That does it.

"I don't fucking care!" I yell, and I call him every name I know, throwing out my words like knives, because I want to make him hurt the way he hurt me.

"You're sorry," I shout. "You're sorry you kicked me to the curb like I was some mongrel you didn't want? It doesn't change anything, Castiel!"

He is still hurting me.

Because I love him, and it will never, ever be enough.

My anger reaches breaking point, and I lose it.

The ground begins to shake under me, and thunder rumbles in the distance.

I do not care that I am wasting too much of my power.

I actually make Cas skitter back a few steps with nothing but my mind.

He looks stunned.

So do Dean and Sam.

"Odette-"

"Enough," I say, and my voice is tight.

"You've done enough, and you've definitely said enough."

"Leave," I hiss.

Cas refuses to go.

"Odette, I-"

"Shut up!" I yell.

"You think you can just come in here and waltz back into my life?"

"It's your fault I went to hell!" I scream.

There is utter silence in the room.

And there it is.

I've just blurted out the one thing I've wanted to hide.

Cas is speechless.

Dean is the first to speak.

His voice cuts through the air like a whip.

"What?"

I laugh hysterically.

"So Castiel didn't tell you?"

My eyes burn with accusation as I stare at him.

"Not one day after you died he leaves me in the woods, says he's tired of putting up with us."

This is an exaggeration, but I'm too far gone to care.

"Leaves me there, and some demon drags me to hell."

Dean punches Cas in the face, carefully hiding his groan of pain.

"You sick bastard! You promised me you'd take care of her!"

Cas' eyes hold more expression than they ever have before.

"Dean, I-"

"Thirty years," I cut across him. "Thirty years I spent screaming in hell."

"Odette, I had no idea you were in hell," Cas whispers.

"If I did, I'd have tried to save you, I swear. I'm so sorry."

I laugh humorlessly.

"Yeah, everything's alright, isn't it, Castiel? As long as you're sorry."

Sam wraps an arm around my shoulder, and I welcome the support.

I hate doing this, but I have to.

I have to cut him out of my life.

For good.

"All those years," I say softly. "I kept screaming for someone to help me, for anyone to help me. For you to help me."

My eyes are glistening, but I don't let a single tear fall.

I cannot let him see me in my most vulnerable state.

Not anymore.

"I needed you, Cas. You didn't need me."

Dean eyes him with hate.

My attention suddenly shifts.

I grip Dean's arm.

"What about you, Dean? How'd you get out?"

Dean swallows, glaring at Cas reluctantly.

"Go," I say to Cas. "Or I'll make you regret this."

"I will," I repeat.

But the only one I'm trying to convince is myself.

Do I have the courage to end this, once and for all?

I am no longer sure.

Dean speaks slowly, unwillingly.

"You can't kill him."

"Why the hell not?" I ask incredulously.

Dean's eyes tighten.

"Because he's the one who pulled me out of hell."