Disclaimer- I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.

I'm picking up straight off from Monster Movie.

Dean'll find out about Sam using his powers later- as will Odette.

And, yes, this is Cas PoV.

Don't you wanna know what he's thinking?

Chapter name borrowed from James Blunt.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

On with it, shall we?

CHAPTER TWELVE- IF TIME IS ALL I HAVE

I knew the second after I'd left Odette that it'd been a mistake.

And then the order to raise Dean from perdition had fallen upon me.

I remember being so afraid- frightened, even, when I could no longer locate Odette.

I watch her now, slim fingers wrapped around a glass tightly, hair falling softly over one shoulder.

Even from my position, the scent of alcohol is sharp and clear, burning in my nose.

Your fault, Jimmy whispers.

And it is.

All mine.

It is my fault that Odette has spent thirty years in hell.

Thirty years burning in the pit.

I might as well have handed her over to the demon myself.

I can see her now-really see her, and the true consequence of what I have done only hits me when I see her soul.

Her light is gone.

Hell has ripped away her innocence, submerged her identity under layers of pain and anger and misery.

She is almost unrecognizable.

Hell has broken her.

I have broken her.

And all that anger is directed at me.

I deserve it-in full measure.

Because I am the reason her soul is marred, stained with hell's poison.

And for all that, scarred and hurting as it is, it is still achingly, hauntingly beautiful.

Odette looks around- twice her eyes pass over the spot where I am standing.

Her powers are stronger than she knows.

Uriel decides to join me.

"Hello, Castiel."

I do not answer him.

This does not affect Uriel in the slightest.

"It appears our orders have changed."

"Yes," I say quietly. "They have."

Uriel eyes Odette contemplatively.

Why does it send a flash of irritation through me?

"You know, I think I like her better now," He remarks conversationally.

"She needed toughening up a bit."

Jimmy growls wordlessly in the back of my mind.

He does not like Uriel.

"Leave, Uriel," I say blankly.

For some reason, I don't want him around Odette.

"You still haven't learnt your lesson," Uriel warns.

"Don't get any closer to the girl, Castiel. She'll be the death of you."

I do not respond.

I have heard the same warnings over and over again, and when I was foolish enough to go along with them, the result was fatal.

I have ruined Odette.

I have destroyed her, and whatever peace she has left.

Condemned her to decades of agony.

"You don't believe me," Uriel's eyes tighten.

"Then ask Odette what she did in hell."

He turns to go.

"That's, of course, if she even forgives you," Uriel adds, and then he is gone.

I wouldn't, Jimmy hisses angrily.

I watch Odette as she mechanically goes through the process of researching.

Dean and Sam are in the other room- I know they are worried.

But unlike me, they are not responsible for what has happened.

I have to try and fix this.

If she will even let me.

"It's your fault I went to hell!"

It is.

And she will never, ever forgive me for it.