What If Chapter 15: I Kissed A Girl, a glee fanfic

Chapter 15 I Kissed a Girl

"Holy crap, poor Santana," muttered Noelle as she and Josh walked the hallway a week later back to the choir room.

"I can't believe that little jerk listened in on Santana telling Finn about her and Brittney's date night," replied Josh as they walked into the choir room.

"Santana still hasn't told her parents either," Noelle replied. "She's really scared. I think we should be there for her when she tells them."

The rest of the Glee Club was dawdling into the room and saw the look of concern on Noelle's face.

"Noelle, what happened?" asked Rachel.

"Some guy running against my dad and Coach Sylvester for Congress has a daughter who goes here and overheard a conversation between Finn and Santana the other day about her and Brittney's date night and he's using Santana's lesbianism as a smear campaign against Sue and my dad. Unfortunately there's nothing Dad can do to stop the commercial from airing. Mr. Schue has called us here for an emergency meeting with the Troubletones."

"Holy crap," replied Quinn.

"I have an idea to tell Santana it's going to be okay," replied Noelle. "She and Mr. Schue and the others should be walking in here in a minute, come on."

After the group converged for a few minutes on Noelle's idea, Will, Finn, Shelby, Santana, Mercedes, Brittney, Sugar and the other Troubletone girls walked into the room. Santana was visibly upset and being consoled by the girls as Burt and Carole followed them in.

"I told them, Mr. Schue," said Noelle. "Santana, whatever happens, we want you to know that we have your back. You're our friend, and we're gonna stand by you and tell the haters to suck it."

"Thanks," said Santana with a sniffle. "I'm going to tell my parents tonight at dinner. Brittney and I are going to take them out to Breadstix."

"We also have a little something prepared for you," Quinn said as the jazz band and Brad the Piano Player came in the room. Noelle handed them the sheet music.

"Yeah, it's kind of spontaneous, but we want you to know San, that we're always here for you, all of you."

The Troubletones, Will, the Hummels and Shelby sat down as music started to play and the New Directions started to sing.

New Directions:

Don't (don't) stop (stop)!

Josh (and Noelle):

If you wake up and don't want to smile

(If it takes just a little while)

Open your eyes, and look at the day

(You'll see things in a different way)

Rachel with New Directions:

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow

Don't stop;

Rachel with New Directions:

It'll soon be here (Finn: It'll soon be here)

It'll be better than before

Finn and Rachel with New Directions:

Yesterday's gone

New Directions Girls (New Directions Boys):

Don't (don't) stop (stop)!

Quinn (and Puck):

Why not think about times to come

(And not about how on the things that you've done?)

If your life was bad to you

Puck and Quinn:

Just think what tomorrow will do

Rachel with New Directions (Finn with New Directions):

Don't (don't) stop (stop), thinking about tomorrow

Don't (don't) stop (stop); it'll soon be here (Finn: It'll soon be here)

It'll be better than before

Yesterday's gone

Finn and Rachel with New Directions:

Yesterday's gone

New Directions:

Ooooh!

Finn with New Directions:

Oooh

Finn:

Don't stop no!

New Directions Girls (New Directions Boys):

Don't (don't) stop (stop)!

Finn:

Thinking about tomorrow

New Directions Girls (New Directions Boys):

Don't (don't) stop (stop)!

Finn:

No, no, no

New Directions:

Ooohh! (Finn: Oooh no...)

Finn:

All I want is to see you smile,

Quinn:

If it takes just a little while,

Finn:

I know you don't believe that it's true

Finn and Rachel:

I never meant any harm to you

Ooooohhhh

New Directions:

Don't (don't) stop (stop), thinking about tomorrow,

Don't (don't) stop (stop);

Rachel:

It'll soon be here,

Rachel and New Directions:

It'll be, better than before,

Finn and Rachel with New Directions:

Yesterday's gone

Finn and Rachel with New Directions (Finn with New Directions):

Don't (don't) stop (stop) thinking about tomorrow.

Don't (don't) stop (stop);

Finn with New Directions:

it'll soon be here,

Rachel:

It'll soon be here

It'll be better than before

Yesterday's gone

New Directions

Oooh, don't you look back

Rachel:

Don't you look back

Finn:

Don't you look, don't you look, no (New Directions: Don't you look back)

Rachel:

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Finn:

Don't you look back (New Directions: Oooh)

Don't you look back (New Directions: Don't you look back)

Rachel:

Don't you look back

New Directions:

Oooh, don't you look back (Finn: Don't, don't, don't you look back)

Finn and Rachel with New Directions (Finn with New Directions):

Don't (don't) stop (stop) thinking about tomorrow.

"Well, I told them," said Santana as she came up to Noelle the next day.

"How'd they take it?" Noelle replied as she put her history book in her locker.

"My mom knew," Santana replied. "My dad was kind of shocked but he's supportive. Now I just have to tell my Abuela."

"I'm sure she'll be supportive," said Noelle. Santana sighed.

"She's very traditional," said Santana as the other girls came up to them. "I don't think she'd be very understanding."

"How do you know if you don't tell her?" Rachel replied. Just then, some sophomore from the rugby team came up to the group.

"Hey Santana, saw the commercial," he said. "Whew, smokin!"

"Back off, Comen, or I'll sick Josh on you," scowled Noelle.

"Easy there Hudson. Come on Santana, all you need is a guy like me to straighten you out," said Comen.

"Move your busted creeper ass," replied Mercedes.

"Now," added Tina.

"Easy girls, I'm just trying to make her normal," replied Comen.

"She IS normal," replied Brittney.

"It's not a choice, idiot," replied Quinn, bouncing Beth in her arms. "But even if it were, you'd be our last choice."

"You're one to talk, Hot Mama," replied Comen to Quinn. Noelle scowled. "I get it now, you used Puckerman as a beard and your bastard child is the only way to score."

"Fuck you Comen," said Rachel.

"I get it, you're all a bunch of lesbos," Comen sneered.

"So what if we are? You' don't stand a chance either way," said Noelle with a growl.

"Bye-bye!" said Mercedes as Comen rolled his eyes and walked away.

"That's right, walk away," laughed Quinn as they walked towards the choir room, breaking out in song.

Santana (Rachel):

This was never the way I planned,

(Not my intention)

I got so brave, drink in hand

(Lost my discretion)

It's not what

(I'm used to)

Just wanna try you on

(I'm curious for you)

Rachel and Santana:

Caught my attention

Rachel and Santana with the Girls:

I kissed a girl and I liked it,

(Santana: The taste of her cherry chapstick)

I kissed a girl just to try it,

(Rachel: I hope my boyfriend don't mind it)

It felt so wrong, it felt so right,

Don't mean I'm in love tonight

I kissed a girl and I liked it,

I liked it

Rachel (Santana):

No I don't even know your name

(It doesn't matter)

You're my experimental game

(Just human nature)

It's not what good girls do,

(Not how they should behave)

My head gets so confused,

Rachel and Santana:

Hard to obey

Rachel and Santana with the Girls:

I kissed a girl, and I liked it,

(Santana: The taste of her cherry chapstick)

I kissed a girl just to try it,

(Rachel: I hope my boyfriend don't mind it)

It felt so wrong; it felt so right,

Don't mean I'm in love tonight

I kissed a girl, and I liked it,

I liked it

Us girls we are so magical,

Soft skin, red lips, so kissable

Hard to resist, so touchable

Too good to deny it

Ain't no big deal;

Santana:

It's innocent

Rachel and Santana with the Girls:

I kissed a girl, and I liked it,

(Santana: The taste of her cherry chapstick)

I kissed a girl just to try it,

(Rachel: I hope my boyfriend don't mind it)

It felt so wrong; it felt so right,

Don't mean I'm in love tonight

I kissed a girl, and I liked it,

I liked it

"Hot damn," said Artie as the girls ended their performance in the choir room.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" said Puck, who had held Beth during the performance. "Shit I think I need to go relieve myself." He handed Beth to Finn and darted out of the room to laughter. Noelle nudged Quinn, who was turning beet red.

"Nice to know you can still give Puck a hard on from singing," Noelle teased Quinn as everyone laughed again. Just then Figgins walked into the room.

"Excuse me New Directions and Troubletones singing groups, but I need to see Kurt Hummel in my office please."

"YOU DID WHAT?"

"I stuffed the ballot box," Rachel said as the group sat at the Hudson-Hummel house later that evening for their weekly Friday night movie marathon. "I rigged the election so Kurt could win."

"Wow, Berry, you got balls," replied Puck.

"Well, Kurt almost got in trouble for it, but I stepped in and told Figgins what happened," replied Rachel. "I've been suspended for a week and I can't participate in Sectionals."

"Shit," replied Noelle. "That means we don't have enough members to compete. Harmony is going to be out of town for a family wedding."

"We need to get Sam back," Finn replied.

"But how? He's in frickin Kentucky," replied Quinn.

"Well, Rachel and I can drive down there this weekend and try and convince him to come back," said Finn.

"I wonder how Santana's doing with her Abuela," Noelle replied. "She was going to tell her tonight."

"Hopefully she's accepting," said Tina.

"Hey, have we decided what we're doing for sectionals?" Josh asked.

"How about Michael Jackson?" replied Finn.

"I think first we need to get Sam back," said Noelle as she popped in Rocky Horror Picture Show.

"Well this is depressing," muttered Puck as he sat in the choir room on Monday with Quinn, Tina, Mike, Artie, and Rory.

"I hope Finn and Rachel had some luck getting Sam to come back," replied Mike.

"Well, on the bright side, we've got the band to fill in," replied Tina. Just then, Kurt, Blaine, Noelle, and Josh walked in, followed by Finn and Will.

"Any luck dude?" Puck asked Finn. Finn smiled and pointed to the door and as Sam Evans walked in, the group cheered.

"You didn't think I was going to let y'all down, did you?" Sam replied.

"I've never been more happy to see you," said Tina as she hugged Sam.

"Let's hear it for Sam Evans!" said Finn as he popped the top off a bottle of sparkling cider. The guitar player handed Sam his guitar.

"I think it's time to get a little country back in this joint!" said Sam. As the cider overflowed the bottle in Finn's hand, everyone little out a cry of "Ohh!"

"Cheers!" said Finn as he poured glasses and Sam started to play.

Finn:

2, 1, 2, 3

Sam:

Now, red solo cup is the best receptacle (Quinn: Mmhmm)

For barbecues, tailgates, fairs, and festivals

And you, sir, do not have a pair of testicles

If you prefer drinkin' from glass

Mike:

That's true!

Sam:

Hey, red solo cup is cheap and disposable

And in fourteen years, they are decomposable

And unlike my home, they are not foreclosable

Freddie-Mac can kiss my ass

Whoo!

Sam with New Directions (Finn with New Directions):

Red solo cup (Finn and Noelle: Aha)

I fill you up

Let's have a party (Let's have a party!)

Let's have a party

I love you, red solo cup (Quinn: Cup) (Finn: Haha)

I lift you up

Proceed to party

Sam:

Now, I really love how you're easy to stack

Finn:

But I really hate how you're easy to crack

Sam:

'Cause when beer runs down in front of my back

Finn:

Well, that, my friends, is quite yucky (Mike: Keep doin' it)

Sam (with Puck):

But I have to admit that the ladies get smitten

Admirin' at how sharply my first name is (written)

On you with a Sharpie when

I get to (Sam with New Directions: hittin') on them to help me get lucky (Finn: Lucky)

Sam with New Directions:

Red solo cup

I fill you up

Let's have a party

I love you, red solo cup (Puck: What?)

I lift you up

Proceed to party (Finn: Proceed to party)

Sam (with Finn and New Directions):

(Finn: Ooh, ahh) Now, I've seen you in blue and I've seen you in yellow

But only you, red, will do for this fellow

'Cause you are the Abbot to my (Costello)

And you are the Fruit to my Loom

(Red) solo cup, you're more than just plastic

You're more than amazing, (Quinn: Haha)

You're more than (fantastic)

And believe me that I am not the least bit sarcastic

When I look at you and say:

"Red solo cup, you're not just a cup" (Quinn: Mhmm!) (Tina: No way, never) (Finn: God, no!)

You're my

Finn:

Friend?

Sam:

You're my friend (Tina: Friend) (Noelle: You're my friend) (Puck: Amigo) (Finn: Lifelong) (Quinn: Uh huh)

Thank you for being my friend

Sam with New Directions:

Red solo cup (Quinn: Hahaha) (Tina: Haha)

I fill you up

Let's have a party (Finn: Let's have a party)

I love you, red solo cup (Finn: What up? What up?)

I lift you up

Proceed to party (Finn: Let's have a party)

Proceed to party (Finn: Put your hands in the air!)

New Directions:

Red solo cup (Sam: Red solo)

I fill you up

Let's have a party (Sam: Let's have a party)

Let's have a party (Sam: Let's have a party!)

Red solo cup (Finn: Wahh!) (Sam: Oh, red solo)

I lift you up

Let's have a party

Proceed to party (Sam: Yeah!) (Quinn and Tina: Solo cup)

Finn, Quinn, Noelle and Tina (Sam):

Solo cup (Bow doo), solo cup (Bow dow, doo)

Solo cup (Bow do), solo cup (Dada di, da dum)

Solo cup, solo cup (Da, da, da)

Solo cup, (Do de ba da) solo cup

Sam:

Hmmm, hmm, hm

"Corn dogs!" Sam cried as Santana walked into the room.

"I just heard that Trouty Mouth is back in town!" said Santana. "I've been keeping a notebook just in case this day ever came." She pulled a little notebook out of her mouth and everyone looked at her in horror as Santana started spewing off a little "love note".

"Welcome back Lisa Rinna. I've missed you so much since your family packed their bags, loaded them in your mouth, and skipped town. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle, but couldn't find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. I assume you've been working as a baby-polisher, where young mothers place their infants' heads into your mouth to get back that newborn shine. So glad you're back. I haven't seen a smile that big since a Claymation Abominable Snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist. Love, Santana."

As she closed the notebook, the room was quiet as everyone looked at Santana in disbelief.

"I missed you too, Santana," said Sam, pulling her into a hug.

"Oh dear god," muttered Noelle.

Well it was the night of sectionals, and the New Directions had their hands full. Harmony was at her cousin's wedding, and with Rachel suspended from the competition, twelve members didn't seem like it was enough. The three band members would join the New Directions to perform their Michael Jackson setlist to give the glee club a fuller number of members.

"Just remember to sing from your diaphragm you guys, and if you forget the words, just move your mouths while you stand in the back," said Finn as the group went over their sheet music.

"Okay guys, we only have a few minutes before the Unitards go on," said Will. Just then, Shelby and the Troubletones walked into the room.

"Hey everyone, we just wanted to come in and wish you all good luck," said Shelby. "May the best show choir win."

The groups headed into the auditorium and took their seats. Tickles the Clown, the same clown from Beth's first birthday party, was the judge, along with .The Unitards went first, and Kurt and Rachel, who was sitting with the group for moral support, were horrified to see the girl from their NYADA mixer in the group.

"Oh my god, it's the Gerber Baby," Kurt whispered in horror.

"I could do this number ten times better than her!" Rachel replied as the girl sang "Buenos Aires" from Evita.

Then the Troubletones got up and sang a mashup of "Survivor" and "I Will Survive", and the new Directions were surprised at their friends' performance.

"You ready?" Finn asked Noelle as the New Directions stood backstage.

"Course I am, Big Bro," replied Noelle.

"And now, your reigning Sectionals champs, also from McKinley High School, give it up for the New Directions!"

The audience applauded as the group made their way on stage and the music for the first song began to the cheers of the crowd.

Noelle:

A buh-buh buh buh-buh

New Directions:

A buh-buh buh buh-buh

Noelle:

You went to school to learn, girl

Things you never, never knew before

Kurt:

Like I before E except after C

Noelle:

And why two plus two makes four

Now, now, now I'm gonna teach you (New Directions: Teach you, teach you)

All about love, dear (New Directions: All about love)

Josh:

Sit yourself down and take a seat

All you gotta do is repeat after me

Noelle with New Directions (Noelle):

ABC, (easy as) one, two, three, (or simple as) do re mi

ABC, one, two, three, (baby, you and me girl) (New Directions: You and me)

(Quinn: Ohhhh) (New Directions: ABC) (easy as) one, two, three (or simple as) do re mi

ABC, one, two, three (baby, you and me girl) (New Directions: You and me)

Josh (with New Directions):

(Come on,) let me love you just a (little bit)

Noelle (New Directions):

Come on, let me love you just a little bit (Come on, little bit)

(Teach, teach, sing it out) Come on, come on, come on

Let me show you what it's all about (Come on, all about)

Quinn:

Reading and writing arithmetic,

Are the branches of the learning tree

Puck:

But listen without the roots of love let me tell you, girl

Kurt:

Your education ain't complete

Noelle:

T-t-t-teacher's gonna show you (New Directions: Show you, show you)

How to get an A (New Directions: Nah nah nah nah naah)

Josh (New Directions):

Spell me (me), you (you) (with New Directions: add the two)

Listen to me baby, that's all you gotta do

Noelle with New Directions (Noelle):

(Oh) ABC (is easy as) one, two, three (or simple as) do re mi

ABC, one, two, three (baby, you and me girl) (New Directions: You and me)

Noelle (New Directions):

(Quinn: Ohhhh) (ABC) See, it's easy, it's like counting up to three (One, two, three)

Sing a simple melody (Do re mi, ABC)

Noelle with New Directions:

That's how easy love can be

(Noelle: Sing a simple melody) (New Directions: That's how easy love can be)

One, two, three,

You and me!

New Directions:

Ah... yeah!

Kurt:

Sit down, girl!

I think I love you

Josh:

No, get up, girl!

Show me what you can do!

Sam and Mike got out front and started dancing sexy moves to the cheers of the crowd.

Noelle with New Directions:

Shake it, shake it, baby (Josh: Come on now)

Shake it, shake it, baby (Kurt: Ooh-ooh)

Shake it, shake it, baby (Josh: Huh!)

One, two, three, baby (Kurt: Ooh-ooh)

ABC, baby (Josh: Nah nah!)

Do re mi, baby

That's how easy love can be

Noelle (New Directions):

(Quinn: Ohhhh) (with New Directions: ABC) It's easy, it's like counting up to three (One, two, three)

Sing a simple melody (Do re mi, ABC)

Noelle with New Directions:

That's how easy love can be

Josh:

(New Directions: Come on, little bit) Now I'm gonna teach you how to sing it out

Noelle:

Come on, come on, come on let me show you what it's all about (New Directions: Come on, all about)

Noelle (New Directions):

(Quinn: Ohhhh) (with New Directions: ABC) It's easy, it's like counting up to three (New Directions: One, two, three)

Sing a simple melody (New Directions: Do re mi, ABC)

Noelle with New Directions:

That's how easy love can be

Josh:

(New Directions: Come on, little bit) Now I'm gonna teach you how to

Sing it out, sing it out (Noelle: Oh, oh!)

Sing it out, sing it out, (New Directions: Come on, all about) sing it out (Noelle: Oh, baby!)

Noelle (New Directions):

(Quinn: Ohhhh) (with New Directions: ABC) It's easy, it's like counting up to three (One, two, three)

Sing a simple melody (Do re mi, ABC)

Noelle with New Directions:

That's how easy love can be

Josh:

(New Directions: Come on, little bit) Now I'm gonna teach you how to

Sing it out, sing it out

Josh and Noelle with New Directions:

Easy as one, two, three

The crowd, already on their feet dancing, cheered and roared with applause as the group performed their next number. Quinn had the solo as she, Noelle, and Tina, three strong, belted out a Jackson 5 classic.

Noelle and Tina:

Ooh-ooh, ooh

Quinn:

Never can say goodbye (Noelle and Tina: Say goodbye boy)

No, no, no, no, now

Never can say goodbye (Noelle and Tina: Say goodbye boy)

Even though the pain and heartache

Seems to follow me wherever I go,

Though I try and try to hide my feelings,

They always seems to show

Then you try to say you're leaving me

And I always have to say no,

Tell me why (Noelle and Tina: Tell me why) is it so (Noelle and Tina: Is it so)

That I, Never can say goodbye (Noelle and Tina: Say goodbye boy)

No, no, no, no, now

Never can say goodbye (Noelle and Tina: Say goodbye boy)

Every time I think I've had enough,

I start heading for the door.

There's a very strange vibration,

Piercing me right through the core.

It says turn around you fool,

You know you love him more and more.

Tell me why (Noelle and Tina: Tell me why) is it so (Noelle and Tina: Is it so)

Don't wanna let you go!

I never can say goodbye boy (Noelle and Tina: Never can say goodbye boy)

Ooh Baby (Noelle and Tina: Don't wanna let you go)

I never can say goodbye

Quinn with Noelle and Tina:

No no, no, (Noelle and Tina: No no) (Quinn: Ooh)

Quinn:

Oh, I never can say goodbye boy (Noelle and Tina: I never can say goodbye boy)

Ohh Baby, (Noelle and Tina: Don't wanna let you go)

I never can say goodbye

Quinn with Noelle and Tina:

No no, no, (Noelle and Tina: No no) (Quinn: Ooh)

Quinn:

Never can say goodbye (Noelle and Tina: Say goodbye boy)

No, no, no, no, now

Never can say goodbye (Noelle and Tina: Say goodbye boy)

I keep thinking that our problems

Soon are all gonna work out.

But there's that same unhappy feeling,

There's that anguish, there's that doubt.

It's the same old dizzy hangup,

Can't do with you or without.

Tell me why (Noelle and Tina: Tell me why) is it so (Noelle and Tina: Is it so)

Don't wanna let you go!

I never can say goodbye boy (Noelle and Tina: I never can say goodbye boy)

Ooh Baby (Noelle and Tina: Hey baby)

I never can say goodbye

Quinn with Noelle and Tina:

No no, no, (Noelle and Tina: No no) (Quinn: Ooh)

Quinn:

Oh, I never can say goodbye boy (Noelle and Tina: I never can say goodbye boy)

Ooh (Noelle and Tina: Hey baby)

I never can say goodbye

Quinn with Noelle and Tina:

No no, no, (Noelle and Tina: No no) (Quinn: Ohhh Yeah)

Quinn:

I never can say goodbye boy (Noelle and Tina: I never can say goodbye boy)

Ohh Baby (Noelle and Tina: Hey baby)

I never can say goodbye

Quinn with Noelle and Tina:

No no, no, (Noelle and Tina: No no) (Quinn: Ooh)

Quinn:

Oh, I never can say goodbye boy (Noelle and Tina: I never can say goodbye boy)

Ohh baby (Noelle and Tina: Hey baby)

I never can say goodbye

Quinn with Noelle and Tina:

No no, no, (Noelle and Tina: No no) (Quinn: Ooh)

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never

Quinn:

I never can say goodbye boy

I got to have you

I never can say goodbye to you

Quinn with Noelle and Tina:

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never

Quinn:

I never can say goodbye boy

I got to have you

I never can say goodbye to you

Ahhhh

Quinn with Noelle and Tina:

Yeah yeah yeah

The crowd roared with applause and then the boys closed out the set.

Artie:

Ooh huh, hoo..ooh

Finn:

I'm gonna make a change,

For once in my life

Artie and Finn:

It's gonna feel real good,

Gonna make a difference

Finn:

Gonna make it right...

Puck:

As I, turn up the collar on

My favorite winter coat

This wind is blowin' my mind

Artie and Josh:

I see the kids in the street, (Blaine: with not enough to eat)

Who am I, to be blind?

Pretending not to see their needs

Sam (with Artie):

A summer's disre(gard),

A broken bottle (top)

And one man's soul

Artie (with Josh):

They follow each other on the wind ya' know

(Cause they got no where to go)

That's why I want you to know

Finn with Artie, Josh, Blaine, Puck, and Sam:

I'm starting with the man in the mirror

I'm asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself, and then make that change

Artie with New Directions:

Nanana nanana nananana

Artie:

Oh oh...

Blaine (with Artie):

I've been a victim of a selfish kinda love

It's time that I realize

(There are some with no home,)

Not a nickel to loan

Could it be, really me

(Pretending that they're not alone?)

Mike (with New Directions):

A willow deeply (scarred),

Somebody's broken (heart)

And a washed out dream (New Directions: Washed out dream...)

Puck:

They follow the pattern of the wind you see

Puck with Finn:

'Cause they got no place to be

That's why I'm starting with me

Finn with Artie and New Directions:

I'm starting with the man in the mirror (New Directions: You)

I'm asking him to change his ways (New Directions: You)

And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself, and then make that change

I'm starting with the man in the mirror (New Directions: You)

I'm asking him to change his ways (New Directions: You)

And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself, and then make that

New Directions:

Change!

Artie and Finn (New Directions):

I'm starting with the (man in the mirror) (New Directions: Oh yeah)

I'm asking him to change his ways (New Directions: Just change)

And no message could have been any clearer (New Directions: Ooh ooh)

Mike with New Directions:

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself, and then make a change (Artie: Come on!)

You got to get it right, while you got the time (Artie: Wooooo!)

'Cause when you close your heart, (Artie: You can't), then you close your

(Artie: Close your, your mind) mind!

Finn and New Directions:

I'm starting with the (man in the mirror) (New Directions: Oh yeah) (Artie: That man, that man, that man)

I'm asking him to change his ways (New Directions: Just change) (Artie: That man, that man, that man, that man, You know, that man)

And no message (Finn and Artie: could have been any clearer)

(New Directions: Ooh ooh)

Artie and Finn with New Directions:

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself, and then make that change

Puck:

Stand up!

Artie:

Stand up! (New Directions: Make a change!)

Finn:

Stand up!

Lift, yourself now!

New Directions:

Man in the mirror!

(Blaine: Ooh!)

(Blaine: Ooh!) Ah aaah

(Blaine: Ooh!) ah aaah

Make that change! (Artie: Stand up! Stand up!)

Sam:

You know!

You know! (New Directions: Man in the mirror!)

You know!

Finn with New Directions:

Change!

Mike:

Make that change

The crowd leapt to their feet and roared with applause and cheered. A short while later, the three groups stood on the stage, waiting for the results.

"In third place, the Unitards!" said Tickles the Clown. "And the winner, moving on to the Regionals is...the New Directions!"

As the New Directions celebrated, the Troubletones stood on the stage, staring at the now empty auditorium in defeat.

"Well, my suspension is officially over," said Rachel as she stood with Quinn in the Principal's Office.

"Good, don't pull anymore crap like that again," said Quinn. "Look, Puck and I were talking, and he wants me to apply to Yale."

"Wow! Are you serious?" Rachel said.

"Yeah, and if I get in, Puck, Beth and I are going to move there," said Quinn.

"Well, New Haven is only a couple hours from New York," said Rachel. "You guys could come visit on the weekends."

"Yeah, we'll see what happens," said Quinn. "Oh, I already ran it by Mr. Schuester, but I need to run something by you."

"Sure, what is it?" asked Rachel.

A few minutes later, Quinn stood in the girls' bathroom, where Mercedes, Santana, Brittney and Sugar were fixing their hair and doing their makeup.

"Hey," said Quinn.

"Hey," said Mercedes.

"Listen, I have a proposition for you guys," said Quinn. "I know you're kind bummed that you guys lost, but what if I told you that it's not over for the Troubletones?"

"What do you mean, Fabray?" asked Santana.

"What if I told you that the Troubletones could team up with the New Directions for Regionals and perform a number?"

"Is everyone okay with that?" Brittney replied.

"I talked to Mr. Schue and Rachel, and they've agreed to let the Troubletones perform a number at Regionals and Nationals, should we go. We could use some more girl voices. We're doing a big group number in the auditorium later. Let me know if you know anyone who's interested."

As Quinn walked away, the four looked at each other. About an hour later, the New Directions sat in the auditorium, singing their group number.

Rachel:

Give me a second, I,

I need to get my story straight

My friends are in the bathroom

Getting higher than the Empire State

My lover, he's waiting for me

Just across the bar

My seat's been taken by some sunglasses

Asking 'bout a scar and

Finn:

I know I gave it to you months ago

I know you're tryin' to forget

But between the drinks and subtle things

The holes in my apologies

You know, I'm trying hard to take it back

Josh (and Noelle):

So if by the time

The bar closes

(And you feel like falling down)

(I'll carry you home)

Finn with New Directions:

Tonight, we are young

Finn and Rachel with New Directions:

So let's set the world on fire!

We can burn brighter,

Than the sun!

At that moment, Mercedes, Santana, Brittney and Sugar walked into the auditorium and joined in on the song, to everyone's excitement.

(Mercedes: Whoa!)

Mercedes and Santana with New Directions (New Directions):

Tonight, we are young (We are young!)

So let's set the world on fire! (Fire!)

We can burn brighter, (Brighter!)

Than the sun!

Quinn with New Directions harmonizing:

Carry me home tonight

Just carry me home tonight

Carry me home tonight

Just carry me home tonight

Santana with New Directions (Quinn):

The angels never arrived (Carry me home tonight)

But I can hear the choir

So someone come and carry me home (Just carry me home tonight)

Rachel (and Finn):

Tonight, we are young

(So let's set the world on fire)

(We can burn brighter,)

(Than the sun!)

Mercedes:

We are young!

Santana with New Directions:

Tonight (Mercedes: Yeah!)

We are young (New Directions: We are young!)

Mercedes and Santana with New Directions (New Directions):

So let's set the world on fire (Fire!)

We can burn brighter, (Brighter!)

Than the sun!

Finn and Rachel:

So if by the time the bar closes

And you feel like falling down

I'll carry you home tonight...

As the group ended the song, Will walked in to see the group reunited and he let out a happy laugh and iniated a group hug.