*Okay, here it is! The Hetalia part is coming up! :D BE EXCITED!*

I gasp, frozen in place. I am entirely still, almost sure that my heart has stopped. Everything is jet black. You know how you can sometimes see your nose? I can't see my nose.

Standing still for what seems like hours—although probably only a minute or so—I find breath. Suddenly, lights flash on, and I am standing in woods.

There is a crackling sound ringing all around me, like the sound when Slenderman is about to get you, which gets louder, more painful, the surrounding trees, grass, rocks, sky, and everything becoming distorted and wobbly and discolored, then the sound fades away, and everything looks beautiful, serene, and peaceful.

Below my feet, the grass looks so real. It bends under my feet, and I kneel down to stroke the grass. Not only does it feel real and semi-prickly like real grass, it feels uneven and smells like grass! Smell! I feel slight wind tug at my clothes, and then I notice that my hand is somewhat darker than normal, and my shirt sleeve is brown and leather.

I gasp, jumping to my feet, and I look at my hands. I wear the leather jacket! Even on my elbows, there are the dorky brown patches that I had customized the jacket to have! I look down at my torso, and I see the belt and the pants and the boots!

The "system crash" must've been part of the game! I am relieved. I don't know how to move—perhaps I use my hand, like in Kinect?—because there are no in-game instructions. I take a step forward, and I move in the surroundings. It's like I'm really here!

Excited, I run over to a tree. I see little ants crawling up and down the imperfect bark. It smells like bark! I see some sap leaking out of a wound in the tree, and I pick at it. It is sticky and gooey like real sap! When I sniff it, it smells real!

German engineering.

How far can I go in the game before running into the wall or something? Putting that to the test, I begin to jog away, through the trees. I step on a rock, AND HOLY CRAP, IT HURTS LIKE BEING RUN OVER BY RANDOM BIKE! –did ya get the Nova joke there?

I inspect the rock. Not only did it hurt and my toe still throbs in pain, it doesn't look like a dumb gray lump! It is is kind of peach colored with other tiny rocks in it! What did we call that in science class? Where molten rock has more rocks in it while it cools down to form a solid?

Meh, who cares? I'M IN A GERMAN GAME!

Wait, my pack! I want to go see if I can find it! I run back to home base, grabbing the rock and carrying it with me—I'm naming it…Rocco—and see the small clearing that I had been in. I see a slight black object protruding out of nowhere, and when I kneel by it, it is my pack's strap. I gently grab it and tug on it. My bag comes right out of the ground and onto the grass with a soft thumpf!

AMAZING! I open the pack, and there is my bottle of water, my snacks, Rob, and now I place Rocco in there! I throw the pack over my shoulder and begin to march away in the direction where I was originally heading. I find the divot where Rocco had been, and I continue marching in that direction. I can smell every aspect of the woods, the plants, the fresh air, and I can even smell the peace. I see an animal trail and begin to follow it. Man, this is so awesome! There aren't much woods like this in Arkansas!

Wait, "there ain't much woods like this," "there isn't much woods like this" or what? AH, WHO CARES?! THIS GAME ROCKS!

I start to sing, in love with the serenity of this place. "All I know is that to me you look like you're having fun, open up your loving arms watch out here I come...you spin me right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round..."

Yes, I'm singing the song "You Spin me Round" by Dead or Alive. Not the dumb Flo Rida cover. Heck no.

The song doesn't really suit the mood, but it's either that or "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift and that song is kinda a bumber because it's sad...

Well, I start to sing "Thousand Years" by Christina Perri. I lurf that song to death. That, and "You will be Mine" by Lenka.

"I see you sitting there at your window sill, looking for shooting stars...I wanna get closer and closer still; I want to take over your heart...You will be mine, mine...Over time, time...You're gonna find, find...I'll make you mine, mine..."

I lurf that song even more.

A several rounds of the song go by when I smell something burning. I hurry toward the smell, bracing myself for some sort of fight—after all, this is a war game, if I'm correct. Once there, I see the burning ruins of a city based on a coast. The city appears to have been beautiful—I imagine white pillars everywhere, red roofs, large ships filling the docks, people mingling in the streets—and it reminds me of what we learned in Social Studies about Ancient Greece…

Ancient Greece?

Hurrying down the mountain, I race toward the city. The soil here isn't very good for farming, and seeing the ruins of this burning city, I realize that this must be Athens when the Persians burned it. Right?

I get there and find everyone in the city dead. I place my hand over my mouth, surprised at the carnage and the smell. It is so realistic…the heat from the fires and burning ruins rise into the air, baking me from all sides. I move delicately through the city, calling out, "Hello? Hello?! Any survivors?"

This is Ancient Athens—they can't understand English! But just hearing a voice would be welcoming, right?

A little further ahead, I see a body of a slim male with chin-length brown hair, wearing an Athenian military uniform, hands curled up into slight fists by his chest, head bowed, like when you hold something precious. I get closer, feeling my heart splitting in two. As I get closer, a screen, like a square thought bubble, appears above the body, saying; "ANCIENT ATHENS; Burned by the Persians, Sparta gathered surviving Athenians and continued the war against Persia."

That doesn't sound right! I could've sworn that in history class, we said that Athens' navy was still able to fight, right…right?

Behind me, I hear a sharp, deep-voiced bark, snapping, "PERSIAN, TURN AND FIGHT!"

I wheel around, surprised, and see a Greek warrior holding a large shield with a Spartan "V" on it, holding a long spear in the right hand. I gasp, eyes widening, and I back up, saying, "I'm not Persian!"

"You are obviously not Greek!" the man says. He had darker skin, black hair like the other man's—but it is longer, to his shoulders—and he has a thin beard. He is well-built, more masculine and somewhat shorter than the possibly-dead-Athenian, so the Spartan is built like a wrestler. He wears the Greek uniform, red like Sparta's, with a helmet and a red horse-mane plume.

Gulping, I say, "I'm not Persian or Greek! I—I—"

He charges me with his spear pointed down. I hold my hands over my face, waiting to be speared, but the scene freezes, and a bubble appears above him, saying "SPARTA; known for military strength, stamina, and tactics. While Athens had the navy, Sparta had the foot soldiers. Together, Sparta and Athens were a force to be reckoned with."

While the game is still on pause, I hurry to ponder why the bubbles about city-states appear over separate people…could this game be about personified places rather than wars fought in those places? Interesting way to portray history...

If so, then Sparta has a bad navy—if I can get into the water, maybe he won't try to kill me!

The game plays again, and I jump out of the way at the last moment. The fact that I couldn't choose which direction to jump may have saved me—I was about to jump right, when I turned left, and he stabbed the air where I should've been.

Bolting toward the coast, I pant, running over and around the debris. I bend my knees to jump into the water, when pain explodes from behind my back and through my stomach. I scream, but it is only a gurgle, and blood splatters into the water. I am leaning over the water, prepared to jump, with a fifteen-foot-long spear going through my stomach.

Gurgling comes out of my throat, hot, sticky blood dribbling over my lips. I've lost feeling in my legs, and they become wobbly and shaky, like Jell-O.

Sparta grabs onto my pack, both my pack and his spear holding me above the water. My heartbeat has become faster, and by blood leaves through my wound and my mouth very quickly. Sparta yanks my pack off of my back, breaking the straps. My torso slumps forward, twisting my insides around the spear painfully. I gasp out blood, and he yanks the spear from my body, sending me into the water.

A black screen appears around me, bold white, blinding words printed high above my head, saying DEAD; RESTART AT LAST CHECKPOINT.

Pain now instantly gone, I am beamed back to where I stood, staring at Athens. I grasp my stomach, where the spear went through, my heart pounding, marvelling at the fact that it hurt so much! Taking no more than a second to check myself, I race toward Athens, dropping to my knees by his side, shaking him gently, saying, "Athens, Athens! Buddy, wake up! Sparta's gonna kill me!"

Murmuring groans come from the man's mouth, and I gasp in relief, feeling my shoulders slump. I bolt to the coast and find a bucket. I lower it down and scoop up water. I bring it back to Athens and say, "ATHENS!" I dump half of the water over him. He jerks awake, sitting up instantly, and says in a soft-toned, yet stunned voice, "Persia got me?"

I nod, saying, "Yes! I just saved you, got it? Now, when Sparta comes, don't let him kill me!"

At this moment, Sparta appears, shouting, "Persian!"

"FRIEND!" I scream, dropping to my knees and throwing my hands in the air, still holding the half-full bucket. Athens gently pulls me to my feet, yet he is shaken and weak, so I let him support himself on me. He takes the bucket from me, saying "Excuse me" like a gentleman and takes a drink. He tells Sparta, "Sparta! She is a friend! She just revived me!"

Sparta scoffs, saying, "She is a Persian who is pretendined to be one of our allies!"

Athens turns to me, asking softly, "Who are you?"

Gulping, I say, "I am one of Athena's servants, Erva. I have come to assist in the fight against Persia."

The city-state's eyes widen, and he asks breathlessly, "Really? Why is Athena not here, with you?"

Convincing...be convincing... "Athena is struggling to get Zeus's approval for assistance in the war...because I am not a god or goddess, then those rules don't apply, so she sent me."

Straightening up, Sparta asks, "Well, what about Ares?"

Respectfully turning to him and bowing my head, I say, "Ares wishes to join the battle for Greece's side, yet Hera has demanded that the gods and goddesses do not meddle down here...Zeus is bound by that because he doesn't want Hera to be upset. Ares has tried many times to come down and help, but Artemis and Apollo, on Hera's side, have intercepted him every time."

Looking at each other, the city-states seem to ponder my honesty. I wonder if they can communicate telepathically or read minds. I force all thoughts out of my head, and finally, Sparta says, "Fine. How may you help with the war?"

I really don't think I stand a chance against Persians, but I am in a game, after all. I say, "I can be a spy, and I can handle hand-to-hand combat as well as fighting with swords."

Sparta nods, and Athens says, "Very good!"

Time jumps, and I am now standing in a phalanx formation. I am stunned. WHERE AM I?! I see the Persian army up ahead, and I realize that I am wearing a Greek uniform, holding a spear in my right arm and a shield in my left. I wear a helmet, a green plume on it. To my left, Athens stands. To my right, Sparta stands. The Persians attack, and Sparta shouts, "SHIELDS!"

As if I know how to do this, I duck my head and throw my shield in front of me in the same swift motion as the other Greeks. Persians attack the shields, and loud dinging and clanking fills my ears, deafening me. I thrust my spear between my shield and Sparta's shield, stabbing a Persian in the neck. He falls back, dead.

THIS. GAME. IS. AWESOME!

I begin stabbing and thrusting. I use my shield as a weapon, hitting Persians in the neck so hard that I break their windpipes. The Persian numbers low, Sparta shouts, "FREE FOR ALL!" and my blood runs cold. How can I handle a "free for all"? When I leave the phalanx, I'll probably be shredded!

The Greeks break away from me, city-states included, so I am forced to jump out into the battle. I deflect an attack with my shield then spear the Persian, panting, heart racing. I yank the spear from his body, splattering his blood over the shield and myself. Another Persian charges at me, but I deflect him with my spear then kick him in the stomach, sending him flying back onto his butt. I spear him in the chest with the spear, but I stabbed him in the lung, not the heart. He coughs and hacks up blood, and I stomp on his stomach, making him scream in pain.

Bloodlust blinds me. As I am fighting, Athens and Sparta are going two-on-one against Persia. Persia backs up and up, up a hill, swinging his sword and shield, deflecting every blow. At this rate, no one will die!

It begins to rain, but the fighting doesn't cease. I see an Athenian foot-soldier about to be killed by four Persians, but I spear three of them through the sides with my spear, doing so in a single thrust, and allow the Athenian to slash the last one's jugular.

He thanks me, and I say gruffly, "Stay close to the others if you can't handle combat alone!"

Taking at as an order, he rushes away toward a group of Spartan foot-soldiers. The ground turns into thick mud, stained red by blood of fallen Greeks and Persians alike. I've always wondered how so many people die in war, how can there be survivors? It's like, if you can die, then why do you live? How does it just happen to be you? I think this subconsciously as I kill several more Persians.

Lightning streaks across the sky, Persia, Athens, and Sparta at the top of their hill. They are sillhouetted by the sliver of gold for a single moment, then a loud boom crashes through the air, so loud that it seems to have made the earth shake.

"ZEUS!" a Greek shouts. I am about to gut a Persian when lightning snakes through the air again, but it lands right between the Persian and I. An explosion sends the dirt and myself flying back. Ringing fills my ears, blood streaming from my ears and nose. There is a gash on my forehead, and black stains my shield. These shields can't attract lightning! Is it possible that Zeus, a Greek god, is really here? This is, after all, a game!

Deafened and lame, I lay on my back, staring blankly into space. I see a Persian appear, looming above me menacingly. The Persian picks up a Greek spear, but I am unable to move as he aims it at my chest or neck; I can't tell.

A sword slices through his chest from behind, and he falls down, dead. The Greek that I saved earlier stands there, yanking his sword out of the Persian's back. He smiles at me from behind his helmet, saying, "If you can't handle fighting alone, then get back to the others!"

He grabs onto my hand and pulls me to my feet. He yelled so loud that I could barely hear his voice hum, but that hum has now turned into almost-normal hearing as I hear him say, "Either Zeus was saving you, or he tried to kill you! Come on!"

Up on the hill, Persia is now unarmed. Sparta thrusts his spear through Persia's stomach at the same moment that Athens slices his spear at the back of Persia's head. Lightning strikes the sky again, and everything turns black. I stand in an abyss, white letters above me, saying THE GREEKS WON THE WAR TEN YEARS EARLIER. NICELY DONE.

The blackness fades away, and I am standing in the field again, backpack on my back. That was amazing! It was so realistic and amazing! I take my pack off, looking at it, and a sticker materializes on it. A picture of a helmet with a horse-mane plume.

WOW! I put my pack on and walk in the opposite direction as last time. I assume that I just walk to enter different levels. I start singing "Wasteland" by 10 Years, cuz that song is freaking epic.

I stumble upon a black screen that says "BONUS LEVELS". That sounds awesome! I step up to it, and the screen changes, showing a bookshelf of pictures and titles. One that I like shows a half-eaten moldy green tomato with the title "THE WALKING TOMATOES."

Smiling, I tap that. The screen becomes large, and a caption says, "THE WALKING TOMATOES; Italy, Romano, and Spain are trapped in the zombie apocolypse! Can you get them out alive?"

Tapping the screen again, I am wooshed away into an empty street. It is dark and gloomy, and a sick smell of death fills the air. I hear, "GRRRRRRRRR" behind me, and I wheel around to see six zombies approaching.

Gasping, I spin around and begin to run away. ZOMBIES! I hate zombie apocolypse things, okay? It's fun to play zombie games, but this game is so realistic that I'm REALLY afraid!

I see a garbage can, and I climb onto it, then onto a dumpster next to it, then onto a high chain-link fence. On the other end, there are ten zombies, all of them groaning and grabbing for the fence. The fence shakes under their decomposing hands, and I squeak, grabbing onto the fence in both hands, afraid of falling. The six zombies come up from the other side, and I am trapped on top of a fence with zombies shaking it.

Ho. Ly. Crap.