6x09 Child Star
The next day, the group sans Kurt, Blaine, Brittney and Santana gathered in the choir room to begin a new week at McKinley. The four newlyweds were currently on their honeymoon and wouldn't be back until the following week. Quinn was on her fall break from Pace but the Puckermans would be returning to New York in a couple weeks after Sue's trial. Tina, Melissa and Heather had to return to their normal lives, but Artie and Mike were also still on their fall breaks and had agreed to stay and help the others get ready for Sectionals.
"I hope everyone had a great time this weekend," said Rachel as she stood in front of everyone. Everyone cheered and clapped.
"But on a more serious note, it's time to get to work," said Noelle. "Sectionals are two and a half weeks away and we need to start getting a set list together. And get some more members."
"I've already taken care of that!" said Puck as he got up and headed over to the door. He poked his head out. "Come on in you guys!"
There was a gasp and cheers from the alumni as Jake, Marley, and Ryder entered the choir room and everyone rushed up to them, exchanging hugs.
"We've missed you guys sooo much!" said Noelle excitedly as she hugged Jake.
"We have so much to catch up on," Unique said to Marley. Unique gasped when she looked at Marley's left hand. She held Marley's hand up, revealing a gorgeous diamond ring to the others who gasped.
"Okay, who's the lucky guy?" asked Mercedes.
"Me," said Ryder as he wrapped his arm around Marley. "I asked her last month and Marley said yes. We both agreed that life is too short, especially with what happened with Finn and everything."
The group congratulated the two with hugs and cheers.
"I'm really happy for you two," said Artie and Noelle excitedly hugged Marley.
"Anything we can do to help, you just let us know," Noelle said to Marley and Ryder. "Josh and I would be more than happy to help you guys give you your wedding of your dreams."
"Thanks, that means so much to us," said Marley. "We probably just want a small wedding."
"Alright, now we just need one more person!" said Rachel excitedly.
"I think I can help out with that," said a voice. The group turned to see Superintendent Harris enter the room with a young boy.
"Superintendent Harris, what a pleasant surprise!" said Noelle.
"Everyone, this is my nephew Myron," said Superintendent Harris. "He was just skipped to the ninth grade. He is having his bar mitzvah this week and wanted to see if the New Directions would perform at his party."
"Free of charge of course," said Myron. "I only ask that I can join the New Directions!"
"Of course dude!" said Sam. "You can sing, right?"
"Of course I can!" said Myron. "In fact, I was going to have a rehearsal in the auditorium for one of my numbers. Maybe I can use that for my audition! My uncle said I could use the auditorium for my party. That's okay, right?"
"Of course," said Rachel.
A few minutes later, the group was gathered in the auditorium to watch Myron perform his number.
"Okay, so this is just rehearsal, so be kind," said Myron. "Lights! Hit me!"
Can you keep up, baby boy? Make me lose my breath
Bring the noise Make me lose my breath
Hit me hard Make me lose my breath
Ooh I put it right there, make it easy for you to get to
Now you want to act like you don't know what to do
After having done everything that you asked me
Grabbed you, grind you, liked you, tried you
Moved so fast, baby, now I can't find you
Can you keep up, baby boy? Make me lose my breath
Bring the noise Make me lose my breath
Hit me hard Make me lose my breath
Can you keep up, baby boy? Make me lose my breath
Bring the noise Make me lose my breath
Hit me hard Make me lose my breath
Ooh If you can't make me say ooh
Like the beat of this drum Why you ask for some?
You ain't really want none If you can't make me say ooh
Like the beat of this groove You don't have no business in this
Here's your papers, baby, you are dismissed
Can you keep up, baby boy? Make me lose my breath
Bring the noise Make me lose my breath
Hit me hard Make me lose my breath
Can you keep up, baby boy? Make me lose my breath
Bring the noise
Make me lose my breath Hit me hard
Make me lose my breath Can you keep up, baby boy?
Make me lose my breath
Bring the noise Make me lose my breath
Hit me hard Make me lose my breath.
The group cheered and applauded as Myron ended his performance.
"Holy crap, that was amazing!" said Josh.
"Myron, that was insane," said Noelle.
"Thank you Mrs. Koontz," said Myron. "I am a huge fan of yours and Mrs. Hudson's."
"Well thank you Myron, that's very sweet of you," said Rachel. "And welcome to the New Directions!"
"Thanks!" said Myron. "But here's the rub. I want my bar mitzvah to be perfect. Not good, not great, perfect. How can I improve this number? Seriously, give me notes. Anything."
"Um maybe your dancers could just smile a little bit more?" asked Kitty.
"Yeah," said Sam.
"I-I already told them that." cried Myron. He turned to his dancers. "I already told you that! What's wrong with you people? You know, I thought I hired professionals, but obviously, I was mistaken. You're fired! Get off this stage! Now, bitches!"
Noelle's eyes widened in horror.
"Oh good god, it's a Mini-Kurt," she muttered in horror to Harmony.
"Give a warm bar mitzvah welcome to our little big man, Muskovitz!"
"Hello, everyone!" said Myron. "Now, we've got a great slate of entertainers. I promise you the headliner is really gonna knock your socks off. There's also gonna be a lot of boring speeches from my relatives, so be prepared. But we've got an amazing group who's gonna kick the night off right. The stars of McKinley High, Rachel Berry, Noelle Hudson-Koontz, and the New Directions! And now let's hear it for Mason McCarthy!
Mason:
I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self satisfied I don't need you
I've got to break free
God knows, God knows I want to break free.
I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know it's for real
I've fallen in love, yeah
God knows, God knows I've fallen in love.
It's strange but it's true
I can't get over the way you love me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free, baby
Oh how I want to be free,
Oh how I want to break free.
But life still goes on
I can't get used to, living without, living without,
Living without you by my side
I don't want to live alone, hey
God knows, got to make it on my own
So baby can't you see
I've got to break free.
I've got to break free
I want to break free, yeah
I want, I want, I want, I want to break free.
As Mason ended his performance, the crowd whooped and hollered. Meanwhile, Myron got into his performance pod early and was now trapped.
"HELP!" he screamed! "Get me out of here!"
"Don't worry, I got this!" said Puck, climbing up to the stuck pulley. "Hang in there Kiddo, we'll get you out!"
"That's my husband, selfless and a hero," smiled Quinn as the pod was safely lowered to the ground.
"I think I pooped myself! I pooped myself!" Myron breathlessly panted as he was freed from his pod prison.
"Come on Myron, follow me," said Kitty as she and Harmony led him backstage.
"I'm on in five minutes!" cried Myron.
"Don't worry, we'll stall," said Noelle. "Come on Josh, come on Quinn and Puck, let's show them what we're made of!"
The four cued the band and they along with the New Directions performed while Myron cleaned up.
New Directions:
Doh
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Doh doh doh, doh duh
Noelle with New Directions:
This hit, that ice cold
Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold
This one, for them hood girls
Them good girls, straight masterpieces
Stylin', while in
Livin' it up in the city
Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent
Gotta kiss myself I'm so pretty
Josh (Puck with New Directions):
I'm too hot (Hot damn)
Called a police and a fireman
I'm too hot (Hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire, man
I'm too hot (Hot damn)
Say my name, you know who I am
I'm too hot (Hot damn)
Am I bad 'bout that money
Break it down
Puck (New Directions):
Girls hit your hallelujah (Whuoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (Whuoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (Whuoo)
Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you (Whuoo)
Puck with New Directions:
Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you
Puck:
Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you
Quinn and Puck with New Directions:
Saturday night and we in the spot
Puck:
Don't believe me, just watch
Come on
New Directions:
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Hah
Puck with New Directions:
Don't believe me, just watch, uh
New Directions:
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Hah
Puck with New Directions:
Don't believe me, just watch
Josh:
Don't believe me, just watch
Puck:
Don't believe me, just watch
Quinn:
Don't believe me, just watch
Quinn and Puck with New Directions:
Hey, hey, hey, oh
Noelle with New Directions:
Stop
Wait a minute
Josh:
Fill my cup put some liquor in it
Quinn with New Directions:
Take a sip, sign a check
Puck:
Julio, get the stretch
Puck and Quinn with New Directions:
Ride to Harlem, Hollywood, Jackson, Mississippi
If we show up, we gon' show out
Smoother than a fresh jar o' Skippy
Josh (Puck with New Directions):
Uh, I'm too hot (Hot damn)
Uh, called a police and a fireman
I'm too hot (Hot damn)
Noelle:
Make a dragon wanna retire, man
I'm too hot (Josh: Too hot)
Josh with New Directions:
Hot damn (Puck: Hot damn)
Puck (with New Directions):
Bitch, say my name you know who I am
I'm too hot (Hot damn)
Noelle:
Am I bad 'bout that money
Break it down
Josh (New Directions):
Girls hit your hallelujah (Whuoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (Whuoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (Whuoo)
Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you (Whuoo)
Josh with New Directions:
Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you
Josh:
Cause Uptown Funk gon' give it to you
Josh with New Directions:
Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me, just watch
Come on
New Directions:
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Hah
Josh with New Directions:
Don't believe me, just watch
Come on
New Directions:
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Hah
Puck with New Directions:
Don't believe me, just watch
Josh:
Don't believe me, just watch
Puck:
Don't believe me, just watch
Noelle:
Don't believe me, just watch
Noelle, Quinn, Puck and Josh with New Directions:
Hey, hey, hey, oh
Puck:
Before we leave
Let me tell y'all a lil' something
Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up
Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up
Uh, I said
Puck with Quinn, Noelle, Josh and New Directions:
Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up
Uptown Funk you up, Uptown Funk you up
At this point, Noelle and Josh started doing a hiphop/ballroom dance mashup to the crowd's delight
Josh:
Come on, dance, jump on it
If you sexy then flaunt it
If you freaky then own it
Don't brag about it, come show me
Come on, dance, jump on it
If you sexy then flaunt it
Puck with New Directions:
Well it's Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me, just watch
Come on
New Directions:
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Hah
Josh with New Directions:
Don't believe me, just watch, uh
New Directions:
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh
Hah
Josh:
Don't believe me, just watch
Puck:
Don't believe me, just watch
Quinn:
Don't believe me, just watch
Quinn and Puck with New Directions:
Hey, hey, hey, oh
Quinn and Puck with New Directions (Josh):
Uptown funk you up (Woo, come on)
Uptown funk you up (Hey, say what)
Uptown funk you up (Hey)
Uptown funk you up (Come on)
Uptown funk you up (Woo, come on)
Uptown funk you up (Hey, say what)
Uptown funk you up (Heey)
Uptown funk you up (Come on)
Uptown funk you up (Woo, come on)
Uptown funk you up (Say, say what)
Uptown funk you up (Come on)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (Aaooh)
Uptown funk you up (Say whaat)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Woah
After a brief break and Myron was changed into some clean clothes, it was time for the big finale.
Rachel:
If you want it, take it
I should've said it before
Tried to hide it, fake it
I can't pretend anymore (The Group: Hoo)
Noelle: I only wanna die alive
Never by the hands of a broken heart (The Group: Hoo)
Don't wanna hear you lie tonight
Now that I've become who I really are
Myron with the Group:
This is the part when I say I don't want ya
Rachel with the Group:
I'm stronger than I've been before
Myron with the Group:
This is the part when I break free
Rachel with the Group:
'Cause I can't resist it no more
Myron and Rachel with Noelle and the Group:
This is the part when I say I don't want ya
I'm stronger than I've been before
This is the part when I break free
'Cause I can't resist it no more
Mason:
You were better, deeper
I was under your spell
Jane and Roderick:
Like a deadly fever, yeah, babe
Rachel:
On the highway to hell, (Jake: Yeah) (The Group: Hoo)
Noelle with Josh:
I only wanna die alive
Never by the hands of a broken heart (The Group: Hoo)
Don't wanna hear you lie tonight
Now that I've become who I really are
Myron with the Group:
This is the part when I say I don't want ya
Rachel with the Group:
I'm stronger than I've been before
Myron with the Group:
This is the part when I break free
Rachel with the Group:
'Cause I can't resist it no more
Myron and Rachel with Noelle and the Group:
This is the part when I say I don't want ya
I'm stronger than I've been before
This is the part when I break free
'Cause I can't resist it no more
Rachel:
No more, baby,
Ooh
Rachel with Noelle and the Group:
Thought on your body
I came alive
It was lethal
It was fatal
Rachel and Noelle:
In my dreams it felt so right
Mason and Madison with Rachel:
But I woke up every day (The Group: Every day, every day)
Rachel:
Oh, baby
Myron with the Group:
This is the part when I say I don't want ya
Rachel with the Group (Rachel):
I'm stronger than I've been before (Ooo!)
Rachel with Myron and the Group:
This is the part when I break free
'Cause I can't resist it no more
Myron and Rachel with Noelle and the Group:
This is (Rachel: This is) the part when I say I don't want ya
I'm stronger than I've been before
This is the part when I break free
'Cause I can't resist it no more
The next day, the group was gathered in the auditorium. Rachel and the other alumni stood in front of the full twelve members of the New Directions.
"Well, here we are you guys," said Rachel. "We have enough members now to compete against the Warblers at Sectionals!"
Everyone cheered and clapped.
"And thank you Myron for allowing all of the new members to get some practice performing in front of a big crowd," said Noelle. The group clapped.
"We're going to be here for one more week because of Coach Sylvester's trial," said Quinn, "but after that, Puck and I are heading back to New York with Beth and Alex."
"And I have to get back to Joffrey but I will have one more dance booty camp for you guys," said Mike.
"You're in good hands with Rachel, Josh, Noelle, and Kurt, once he gets back," said Artie.
"And we wanted to thank you guys for everything you have done for us," said Marley. "Thanks for getting Ryder, Jake, Unique and myself back here to McKinley and for bringing back the glee club. We have a little something prepared for you."
The alumni watched as the New Directions got up on the stage and started to sing.
Jane:
She sees them walking in a straight line
That's not really her style
Mason:
And they all got the same heartbeat
But hers is falling behind
Madison and Roderick:
Nothing in this world could
Ever bring them down
Yeah, they're invincible
And she's just in the background
Marley:
And she says
Marley with Ryder and New Directions (with Roderick, Spencer, Jake and New Directions):
I wish that I could be like the cool kids
Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
(I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids)
Kitty:
He sees them talking with a big smile
But they haven't got a clue
Yeah, they're living the good life
Can't see what he is going through
Spencer and Alistair:
They're driving fast cars
But they don't know where they're going
In the fast lane
Living life without knowing
And he says
Myron with Unique and New Directions (with Roderick, Spencer, Jake, and New Directions):
I wish that I could be like the cool kids
Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
(I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids)
I wish that I could be like the cool kids
Cause all the cool kids, they seem to get it
(I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids)
Kitty:
And they said
I wish that I could be like the cool kids
Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids
Marley with Ryder and New Directions (with Roderick, Spencer and New Directions):
I wish that I could be like the cool kids (Kitty: Ah)
Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in (Kitty: Ah)
(I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids) (Kitty: Ah)
Kitty and Myron with Roderick and New Directions (with Roderick, Spencer and New Directions):
I wish that I could be like the cool kids
Cause all the cool kids, they seem to get it
(I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids)
Spencer with Alistair:
Like the cool kids