Disclaimer: Do we really need this? What? We do? Ok then, Victorious belongs to Dan, I own squat!

Author Notes: Ok I'm sure many of you want to know why Jade hates alcohol so much and you will but I decided that the first few chapters it would be about Tori and her going down The rabbit hole so to speak.

There is a time skip in this chapter, Tori is now out of high school, around 22 years old, eventually we will go back to the Hollywood Arts years so uh head it's a sad chapter be warned!

Tori was sitting in a chair along with several other people around her, she felt a bit out of place, she wanted to leave but couldn't do so for two very important reasons.

Number one; her misery needed to end, she wanted to show Jade she could hold onto her promise, if she did otherwise the goth would know and her last chance would go down the drain.

Number two; Trina was blocking her only escape route.

Her older sister watched her like a hawk, "This is for your own good baby sis"

"How did things get so messed up?" The Half-Latina thought miserably.

A man was standing in the middle of the circle of chairs "I see some familiar faces today" He said rather pleasantly, Tori didn't like that, he sounded like this was a simple meeting and it wasn't, not by a long shot.

"But I also see a bunch of new faces as well, so to the newcomers lets starts by resiting the twelve steps to help you being free from the pains of alcohol"

The members started to resite the twelve steps, a few with contempt in their eyes, almost as if they were feeling they shouldn't be here in the first place like it was some form of punishment, while other members simply spoke them with nothing but respect.

Tori spoke them slowly, her head lowered in shame.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious

contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The irony of asking God for help was not lost to Tori.

Afterwards many of them exclaimed, "What an order!"

A woman stood up from her chair.

"Good evening, everyone. My name is Lisa and I'm a recovered alcoholic."

"Hi Lisa" The members said simoltaniously.

She began to tell us her experience with drinking how she lost her husband, her children not speaking to her and being friendless for the better part of her recovery.

Everyone had their chance to tell their experiences.

Some were quite sad stories while others led to self destruction, not once did anyone make a remark about what led them to their own downfall.

Now it was Tori's Turn.

The Half-Latina sighs dejectedly, there was no avoiding this, she looked into the eyes of Trina, who gave her a small encouraing smile.

"Hi I'm Tori and I'm a recovering alcoholic"

"Hi Tori"

"I been sober for the past... three days" She said slowly "And it hasnt been easy, I know it doesn't seem like much time to any of you and it probably isn't but to me it's been hell... Before any of this started I kept hearing how much people get their lives destroyed by constant drinking and I used to think oh that's never going to happen to me... Now I know it can happen to just anyone"

Many members mumbled in agreement.

"I started drinking when I was eighteen" Tori confessed "It wasnt planned, but I actually was in a lot of pain the night it all started, I just didnt know what to do, so I drowned my sorrows in vodka, I honestly didn't want to feel anything at that point in time, I wasn't sure just how to handle the situation, I mean my mother had trouble with my sexuality and tried to ¨fix me¨"

The last part was said in disgust, something that was not lost to Trina, she couldn't blame her, both sisters had lost all the respect they once had for their mom.

A gay man next to Tori squeezed her shoulder to comfort her, knowing exactly what she was talking about, while a woman to her right squeezed her leg.

Other AA members gay and straight alike felt sympathy for the Latina, coming out was never an easy thing even today.

"Thank you" She said honestly "Anyways after I started drinking my girlfriend showed up and she was furious with me, in fact it was the first time I saw hatred directed at me... It scared me but I was too deep into my drink to give it a second thought and well, one thing led to another and after an argument I passed out, I don't recall much of what happened afterwards but I do remember promising Jade that I would stop drinking for her"

Here she stopped for a few seconds to recolect her thoughts "But as you know I didn't exactly nailed it, the sole fact that I'm here with all of you is testament of that, I tried to stop and I'm... I'm still trying to stay sober but that's easier said than done"

"Tell us more Tori" Lisa said soothingly "Get it all out"

The half-Latina held her hands together nervously, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a few seconds, just when it seemed she wasn't going to continue with her story, Tori opened her eyes and said bitterly "I continued drinking because of Holly... my mother, she just kept showing up, and I don't exactly mean physically, there was a restraining order on her after all but she fond a loophole and had people calling me, she sent bible thumpers to my dorm and it was too hard to handle a day where she didn't get into my life somehow, she never let me have a moment if peace, she never let be happy and I hated her for that, I know now she isn't going to change her mind, that's why I decided to cut her out of my life but that decision ended up hurting me more than I thought it would, I mean even if I haven't seen her in a long time she's still my mom after all"

Trina has tears in her eyes, hearing her sister's confesion was a first for her.

"That's when things got out of control" She admitted reluctantly "I kept drinking every other night, Jade was always on my case, I always thought of it as nothing more then meaningless words, that is until I... I... I... Did something I never thought I would."

"Tori we don't judge here" Lisa gave her a go on smile "Tell us what happened, its how the healing begins"

The tanned girl nodded reluctantly "I... Hit Jade... It was the worst think I could have ever done, after that things were never the same, I screwed up big time and felt I destroyed a wonderful relationship, it was the stroke that broke the camel's back because next thing I knew Jade left, she left me and I felt betrayed for a very long time, but then when I remembered seeing the dissapointment in Jade's face and I couldn't help but think of all the times that I broke my promise... Of all the times that I let her down, it hurt it was unlike any other form of pain."

Tori puts her hand over her mouth, choking in sobs "Now she's not talking to me and I miss her, I miss her so much... I dont even know where she's living now and it hurts so damn much to know that I drove her away, she was the best thing that ever happen to me and I drove her away"

A few people gave her sympathetic stares while others simply muttered "Drama queen".

Nevertheless she continued with her story "I wanted things to go back to normal, to have her to hold me in her arms on a cold night, I want her to kiss me good night, bottom line I want her back in my life... After what happened I didn't think it was possible but then one night I received a letter, no address or even who wrote it, but I just knew who it was from because on the piece of paper there were six words that said, life isn't the same without you"

Trina nodded, after all she had delivered the letter on Jade's behalf much to the ignorance of her sister.

"That's why I'm here, she's giving me one last change and I'm not about to blow it, so I will continue coming to these meeting, if not for me then for Jade, because I love her more than anything and I want her back... I want to be happy again but most of all I want her to be proud of me, to show her she can trust me again...Thank you for listening"

a few member clapped.

Trina smiled as she clapped "I'm proud of you baby sis"

That night the older Vega went to tell Jade how things on the meeting had gone.

Chapter 3 was rather depression, more so than the previous ones, this serves as a call for everyone who has problems drinking if you have them or know anyone who is an alcoholic, don't just stand there, get help or get them help.

after all, alcoholism can be beaten with help, that's what AA is there for!

On another note, yes Trina is a spy for Jade.

next chapter: Flashbacks.

anyways what do you guys think?

Many of you are sure to REALLY hate Holly right now, no?

Invader Johnny Signing Off.