Deleted Scene 3 S2 Blame it on the Alcohol
(Takes place between the Championship Game and 2010 Sectionals)
"PARTY TIME!" cried Puck as the group gathered at Rachel's house after the Championship Game. The group decided since Rachel's dads were out of town to move the celebratory party there instead of at the Hudson-Hummel house. It was just the New Directions, Blaine, Kurt, and a few non-members of New Directions.
"How did you manage to score this?" asked Noelle with a grin on her face as she pulled a bottle of Three-Olives Cherry Vodka from a bag that Puck had set down on the bar in the basement. "This is like, my favorite flavored vodka!"
"I have my ways," said Puck with a smile and shrug as he pulled out some beers and other liquors.
"Score! Jack Daniels!" said Josh as he pulled out another bottle and he fist-pumped the air. "And it's Tennessee Honey!"
"Screw that Tennessee shit," said Sam as he pulled out another bottle, "this is the real stuff here! Kentucky Bourbon!"
"Yech!" grimaced Noelle and Josh as Josh made both of them a drink. The others were passing drinks around as Finn sat nursing a Coke.
"You're not drinking, Big Brother?" asked Noelle.
"No, Designated Driver," said Finn. "Gotta make sure everyone gets home okay."
"Ah," said Noelle as she plopped herself down next to him. Rachel and Quinn had set up the Karaoke machine and everyone was taking turns singing songs.
Josh was in charge of bartending for everyone. Unbeknownst to Noelle, every time she wanted another drink, he would double the shot of Vodka.
"FINNY!" said a drunken Rachel as she cuddled up next to her boyfriend. "I ish drunk."
"I can see that," said an amused Finn. "Have you not drank before?"
"Not fish mush," slurred Rachel and she hiccuped.
"Well, since you're new to this," started Finn, "I'm going to break it down for you. Guys and girls fall into certain archetypes when they get drunk..." He pointed to Santana and Harmony in the corner. "Exhibit A: Santana and Harmony, a.k.a The Weeping Drunks."
"It's not fair! She's pretty and blonde and so smart!" sobbed Harmony. "She got the part over me!"
"Why does everyone hate me?" sobbed Santana.
"And then," continued Finn, "we have the Get-Angry-Then-Proceed-To-Have-Make-Up-Sex Drunks. Puck and Quinn to be precise. I'm pretty sure that's how Beth was conceived."
"I can't believe what you did to my body!" Quinn shouted at Puck. "I used to have abs!"
"You were the one who drank those damn wine coolers!" Puck replied angrily.
"But you forgot the damn condom!" cried Quinn.
"But we have a beautiful little girl cause of it, who looks just like her beautiful mommy," Puck softened.
"I love you," sobbed Quinn.
"I love you too," Puck replied before kissing her, picking her up and carrying her off to a more private place.
"I seriously hope they remember the condom this time," muttered Kurt as he and a drunk Blaine walked past Finn and Rachel. Rachel had a look of disgust on her face.
"And those two are the Peanut Gallery Drunks," Finn thumbed at Kurt and Blaine. "They pay attention to everything."
Finn noticed Noelle and Josh making out in the corner.
"Then we have Josh and Noelle, who we refer to as the Clingy-Not-Coming-Up-For-Air Drunks," said Finn, who was shaking his head.
"Brittany is the Stripper Drunk," said Finn with a horrified look on his face as Brittany was pole dancing and stripping for Artie and a few other guys.
"Obviously Artie and those guys are the Sex Animal Drunks cause when a girl takes her clothes off they get all over her like a wild animal," Finn continued in horror.
"Brittany! Put your clothes back on!" Kurt cried from the corner in horror. "For God's Sake! There are gay men here!"
"You wouldn't mind if it was me stripping," Blaine replied.
"Eww! TMI!" commented Tina and Mercedes. Then they looked at each other and laughed.
"Tina and Mercedes are the Happy Girl Drunks," Finn commented. He pointed to Mike in the corner with Aaron and Ryan, who had joined the party.
"Those three are the Stupid Drunks," Finn said as they watched Mike drink out of a beer bong. "They end up turning into Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O and those other guys from Jackass and do stupid shit."
Finn turned to Rachel, who was cuddling into Finn some more.
"And then we have you, my Love," Finn commented. "The touchy-feely drunk." He heard a slight snore. "Who ends up passing out." Finn chuckled and took Rachel into his arms carefully.
"I'll be back you guys," Finn said to Kurt and Blaine. "I'm going to put her to bed."
"Sure you are," muttered Kurt.
The next morning, Noelle opened her eyes and looked around her. Her and Josh were cuddled up in a corner, a blanket laying over them. In fact, everyone was asleep on the basement floor except for Finn and Rachel and Puck and Quinn. Noelle rolled her eyes and carefully tried to remove herself from Josh's arms. She was successful and tiptoed around the sleeping drunkards to figure out where the two couples that were MIA went. Noelle peeked into the Laundry Room and found nothing so she headed upstairs. The living room and kitchen were empty so she crept upstairs. She opened the door to the Berry's guest room and found Puck and Quinn naked in the bed. Her eyes widened in horror but Noelle relaxed when she saw the used condom wrappers on the floor.
"Thank god," murmured Noelle as she quietly closed the door. "I don't think I want to be an aunt again for awhile." Noelle's next stop was Rachel's room.
"Finn? Rachel?" Noelle whispered as she poked her head in the room. Finn and Rachel, unlike Puck and Quinn, were fully clothed and cuddled in the bed.
"Thank God again," murmured Noelle. Finn cracked an eye open.
"Oh, hey Noe," said Finn.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" Noelle asked.
"No, I was already awake, just relaxing," said Finn.
"I'm thinking we should wake up everyone and make them a big hangover breakfast," Noelle said.
"Good idea," muttered Finn as he gently untangled himself from Rachel and placed the covers back over her. He kissed the top of her head and Rachel groaned and stirred.
"I'll go start breakfast," said Noelle. "You better stay with Miss Touchy-Feely in case she needs your assistance." Noelle headed out of the room and closed the door and next thing she knew, she heard the pitter-patter of feet and a retching noise. Noelle laughed and shook her head and returned downstairs and into the kitchen.