A/N: Thank you everyone who has decided to follow this story. It may not be one of the most popular but it is one of my favorites. A huge thank you to my betas, steph-the-fangirl-925 and aimeeloren. Check out Stephanie's videos on YouTube. She makes some wonderful ones. Her channel is Just4FunVids925. Subscribe, leave comments and like the videos and she will be sure to add more to her collection.
Disclaimer: I do not own the major characters within this story. They belong to the franchise of Once Upon A Time.
Chapter 12:
"Emma, wait," Robin called to Emma after dinner. He led her off to the side of the room. "I agreed to help with the clean-up but I would like to know what happened between you and Killian earlier."
She shook her head. "I…"
"Looks like I'm on clean up duty with you, mate," Killian announced from behind them, gathering dishes from the table.
Robin nodded to him and turned back to Emma. "Will it be okay if I ask him?"
"That's fine," she agreed. He squeezed her shoulder before he turned and grabbed a pile of dishes, following Killian into the kitchen.
"What's going on between you and Emma?"
Robin stopped short at the question that shot out at him as he reached Killian's side. "You almost sound jealous."
Killian glared at Robin. "Why would I be jealous?"
"Trust me, the last thing I need is another woman in my life to complicate matters." Robin handed Killian the dishes he brought in. Killian in turn handed Robin the towel to dry the dishes.
"Trouble brewing?"
"Let's see, my wife is living in the same house as the woman I'm in love with, while my son is completely confused over who he's supposed to respond to, all the while playing the two of them against each other to get his way. No, not complicated at all," Robin responded with sarcasm.
Killian laughed and it seemed to relieve the tension between the two men. "Smart kid but bad situation. So, why are they living together, if you don't mind me asking?"
"We only just moved back to town before I had to leave. There was no opportunity to work out living situations." Robin shrugged. He could barely explain the weird circumstances in his own mind, let alone to someone else, who might as well now be a stranger. "For now, it will have to work."
"Does your wife know you're in love with the woman she's living with?"
"Yes," Robin replied with sadness. "My wife and I were separated for quite some time. With her back in my life I couldn't just turn her away. I have to not only think about myself but my son. And, in all honesty, if circumstances didn't present themselves the way they had, I would probably be with Regina and not Marion."
"Is Regina the woman you're in love with?" Robin nodded. "What about her? How is she taking all of this?" Killian asked him as they began to finish the dishes.
Robin chuckled. "She can take care of herself. However, she has a soft spot she hardly ever let's people see. I know she's hurting over this as much as I am. Regina loves Roland, my son, though and would do anything for him, just as she would for Henry."
"That's Emma son."
"Regina's too." Robin saw Killian's confused expression. "She adopted him. Emma only came back into his life recently. They both love that kid. He's really lucky."
They finished up putting the cleaned dishes away and Robin began to wipe down the counters and oven. It felt much like it had when he cleaned up the tavern he owned all those years ago. Killian picked up the broom, sweeping the floor. Robin glanced between them and began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" Killian inquired as he placed the broom to the side and began to quickly mop the floor.
"Our past has caught up to us."
Killian quirked an eyebrow at him as if in question.
"I used to own a tavern and this is what I did after a long night tending bar."
Killian leaned on the mop and began to smile. "And if I was the mighty Captain Hook, as Emma claims, then I probably spent an occasional night swabbing decks."
"Exactly."
Both men began to laugh heartily at their own joke. Killian subsided first, his expression solemn.
"Is it true, Robin? What Emma says, is it true? Because it feels like I've been missing something for months but I can't put my finger on it. However, how can I be some literary villain? It's crazy."
"Remember when you asked me if I was related to Robin Hood?" Killian nodded and Robin continued. "I'm not related. I'm him. I robbed the rich to help the poor."
Robin threw his towel in the sink and sat down on one of the bar stools, indicating Killian should join him. Killian returned the mop to its rightful place and sat down next to Robin.
"Let's start from the beginning. Regina was a woman scorned by a child called Snow White who once told a secret to Regina's mother, Cora, who killed Regina's love…"
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Killian's mind still reeled days later after Robin's story. His concentration on classes began to dwindle between the distraction of his thoughts and the days, and nights, filled with learning from Father Bastion. Exhaustion had quickly become Killian's constant companion.
Without thinking, there had been days he put on the necklace Emma had handed to him that night he spoke with Robin. Those days were plagued by actions that did not seem to be his own. Yet, they felt more natural to him than anything else he had been doing previously.
And he began to see things. Things that shouldn't be possible. Like the necklace showing up in a different spot then where he had it previously. And Milah and Liam beckoning to him. Just last night, Killian swore Liam stood next to his bed insisting that Killian go to Emma's room. At first, Killian began to follow. Before his hand could land on her door to knock upon the oak surface, Killian's head cleared and Liam disappeared. The thoughts Liam gave him remained.
Killian ended up spending another restless night tossing and turning, trying to force the enticing images of Emma from his mind. The ones that Liam's image seemed to have imprinted on his brain. This time Emma was dressed much as a bar wench would have, her breasts enticingly on view to his hungry gaze. He wanted to delve in and tease those globes but her outfit was meant to draw the view of another. Looking back, Killian noticed it was a man who was surrounded by women and men alike. He commanded attention to himself. This man also carried Killian's own face. A face that Emma's eyes were constantly straying to. Her fascination for the man irritated him and it was for the pirate she loosened her blouse for, before she primped her blonde locks in anticipation of their meeting.
Killian clenched his jaw. She claimed he was jealous and he could not admit it to her if she strapped him to his own mast and threatened him with a cat 'o nine. Taking one last look at the bounty of flesh on display, he walked off stalking toward the ship he missed but would abandon over and over if it meant losing Emma once more. The ship was a poor substitute on the cold and lonely nights.
Silently screaming, Killian shot up from his bed. Scrubbing at his face, he stripped his sweat soaked clothes from his body on the way to the shower. Killian stood under the cold spray, needing it to clear his head. As he stood there leaning against even colder tiles, he realized he still wore the necklace the demon claimed belonged to Captain Hook.
Racking his brain, Killian couldn't recall much of the story, which struck him strange since it was such a well-known piece of fiction. Movies, cartoons and more books came from J. M. Barrie's famous book over the years. Yet, Killian could not recall ever seeing or reading any of it. Squeezing his eyes shut, he concentrated. The only thing permeating his brain was a woman, who sounded much like Emma, saying 'if wax mustaches and perms were your thing'. Hell of a thing to remember about the man you were supposed to be.
Killian ran his fingers through his wet hair. He couldn't remember ever possessing a perm. As for mustaches, those were a thing of the past. Killian much preferred his clean shaven face. Though he remembered Emma's face as she gazed down at the picture of him and her father. Killian had noticed her finger absently tracing over his picture's face. Suddenly the thought of being stubble free didn't seem so appealing.
He was a priest. Killian mentally shook himself. Here he was in his shower craving the feel of Emma's flesh upon his own when he had taken vows to forsake such pleasure. He had heard of priests that had gone against their sacred vows and committed those sins. Killian had done it himself, not too long ago, when he went against all he believed in so he could hold and taste Emma. She was the devil's own temptation. She was Eve and her body the apple that she teased him to taste.
Pulling the necklace up from around his neck, Killian flung it into the corner of the shower stall. First the demon and now Emma tortured his mind insisting he believe he was a villain from a book.
But, if he was a villain, where did Emma come in? Though her body and words challenged him to give up all he lived for, she was like a ray of light on an endless sea of darkness. Could the light be pulling him back to his villainous ways? It went against everything he learned. Light was perceived to be good. While the dark was sin. So, which was he? If he lived in the darkness and was drawn to Emma's light, was it really so bad? But if the light was temptation, was it really good?
Prayers hadn't helped make any of his thoughts easier. And this wasn't something he could discuss with just anyone. Actually, other than Emma or Robin, he couldn't think of one person he would be able to discuss his situation with.
Killian stepped from the shower and toweled off. Walking from the bathroom, he spotted the early rays of sun seeping past his curtains. Early morning prayers were expected to start soon but his mind was too troubled to concentrate.
He dressed quickly and walked out of his room. His nose lead him to the kitchen where the smells of Signora Assante's cooking made his stomach grumble. Killian had been too overwhelmed by Father Bastian's lecture over dinner the previous evening to eat.
"Buongiorno, Padre," Signora Assante called to him as he entered without turning around from the oven where she was placing the morning bread to bake.
"Good morning, Signora Assante. Your breakfast, as usual, smells wonderful."
The woman turned and smiled. "Ah, Padre Jones. I was not expecting you up so early. Normally, Padre Lapre joins me for an early morning cup of tea."
"I'm sorry to disturb you. If you want…" Killian turned and pointed to the door signaling he could leave.
"No. No, sit, Padre." The woman bustled around her kitchen and returned with a small cup of Italian coffee. "Here."
She sat across from him at her kitchen counter. "You tell me what is wrong. Si? I'm much like you. I keep many secrets."
Killian watched her as she pointed to both her heart and her head and smiled. "I'm sure you do, Signora. However, my problems are harder to explain."
"Problems are hard. Talking is simple. You talk. I listen." The woman shrugged. "Simple."
At that Killian had to laugh. "Yes. Maybe it is that easy. Okay, here goes." He took a deep breath. "Before I came to Rome, I took a fall. Nothing seemed to be wrong but I've been having these dreams lately."
"To quote a smart man, a dream is a wish your heart makes." Signora Assante began to sing, despite her broken English, this was very clear. "A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you are fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartache, whatever you wish for you keep. Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbows will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true."
Killian swayed as she sang the words. It was hypnotic and he wasn't sure he would forget it any time soon. In a small way, it reminded him of his mother. The only vague memory he carried of her was her voice singing a song to him as he fell asleep. "Who said that?"
"Walt Disney, of course," she said matter of factly. "It was a song in Cinderella. My godchild loved that movie. She watched it every chance she could growing up and even now she shares it with her own daughter."
"So, I'm wishing for my dreams to happen?"
"Or they may have already happened and you don't remember except in your dreams."
At that Killian perked up. "That's what I was thinking. That maybe they aren't so much dreams as memories."
"You wish to share these dreams?"
"I'm not sure," Killian replied uncertain how much he should share.
"Because they are regarding Signorina Swan?"
"How did you…"
"I see the way she looks at you and you her when you both believe no one else watches. Your paths are intertwined by higher powers."
Killian swirled the cold coffee. "God called me to his side already. That is why I wear my collar, Signora. Why would he then send her?"
"When He calls we should listen closely. Sometimes what he says is not what we hear. Men before you realized their mistake."
Killian glanced up at Signora Assante. "It is not common."
She shook her head. "No. It is not. However, you are not the first and you will not be the last, Padre."
Signora Assante rose from her chair and walked over to a cabinet. She removed a framed picture and walked back so she could hand it to him. Killian stared down at a very handsome man dressed in clerics. He had a smile on his face as he proudly stood there holding a Bible.
Signora Assante pointed to the picture in Killian's hand. "My husband."
Surprised, Killian looked up at the older woman. "Your husband was a priest?"
"Si. We were meant to meet for reasons only known by the Lord. I was supposed to meet my sister here in Rome after my mother passed. As she waited for my bus, she was struck down by a car. The priest that gave her the last rites, as my bus arrived, later became my husband. He was to be on another bus heading out of Rome for his first congregation when the accident happened. He missed his bus, remaining with my sister. Before she died, she clenched my hand and whispered that God spoke to her. He told her that through her passing my life was to become brighter with love. Love that He made possible.
"Padre Assante had only been with the church a short time. He had only taken his priestly vows the summer before that spring I lost my sister. Despite his plans, he spent the next few weeks in my company so I would not have to be alone in a strange city, having to bury the last of my family. In that time, he fought his feelings for me, and I for him. To marry a man who had taken his vows was largely unspoken of. My husband was too scared of the backlash of being excommunicated. So, we hid our feelings from ourselves, each other and especially the church."
"It must have been hard." Killian felt deeply affected by Signora Assante's speech.
The older woman nodded. "A kindly bishop came upon us one day in the midst of an embrace. We were so scared. The bishop took the Padre to the side. As they talked, I prayed. I prayed God would take this love from our chests. Instead, the man I loved came back smiling. The bishop promised to help us. We were married a year later. Never once did my husband regret leaving the church. Not because he wasn't happy there. No. Because he knew God had chosen us to be together despite the paths that had been chose for us. If my husband had not been a priest he would have never been there that day. We would have never met. God calls to us in many ways. Sometimes it is only part of the journey."
Signora Assante removed the picture from Killian's hands. "Now, you must find your path, just as he did."
"Thank you, Signora Assante. You have given me much to think about."
"Si. And I still listen very well when it is your turn to talk, Padre," she told him with a smile and a pat to his cheek.