Author's Note:
The responses to this story are phenomenal. I love you all, thanks!
Changed my Pen Name by the way. The old one didn't really feel right. This one seems perfect.
Listened to the vampire diaries soundtrack while writing this chapter.
Chapter 4 – Forget
It was summer
The sky was blue and it was sunny. Neighborhoods were being baked in golden rays of warmth. Children played with hoops and balls; the look on their faces perfectly matching the sunny weather. Insects were crawling up leaves as they sat and enjoyed the atmosphere. Even the clouds agreed with the weather because they spread to let clarity reach Namimori.
A boy of four kicked a ball over to his friend who kicked it back. They were laughing and having fun. Young girls were happily playing hockey next to the boys. Further up the street older children played in all sorts of activities. And just around the corner a big park loomed showing picnics and families enjoying themselves
Tsuna hated it.
He had his arms on the white window sill while watching the outside world through the transparent glass. The children outside were doing things that Tsuna couldn't remember ever doing.
Except for him no one was at home. His mother took Tezuka to the park to play with the other children. When Tsuna asked, "mom I want to come too can I, can I!?," his mother looked up to the ceiling as Tezuka nudged at her side to get going already, "my friends can't stand Dame-Tsuna mom, he'll embarrass us, let's go," and her mother just patted Tsuna on the head before leaving with Tezuka, closing the door in front of Tsuna's face. A tight feeling made his stomach churn. He wanted to cry, but tears wouldn't fall down, no matter how hard he tried.
It was just another typical day in July. Everyday Tezuka, his younger non-identical twin, would demand that their mother take him to the park. Tsuna never had the chance to suggest something else, because his mother would just pat him on the head before leaving with Tezuka.
It wasn't fair. Why did Tezuka get everything he wanted? Was it because Tsuna was a quiet person who enjoyed watching television instead of playing soccer or basketball? Or maybe it was because he'd rather play with his Lego than be Tezuka's playing partner where he usually would be the slave and Tezuka the master? He didn't particularly enjoy school, so maybe that was the reason that he flunked all his grades. Tsuna just thought everything at school was boring.
Tezuka on the other hand was wild and liked to be outside every time. He loved playing basketball in their yard where Tezuka demanded that his mother build a hoop for him and his friends. Tezuka was also a genius because he never had to learn for anything at school, he just got good grades either way.
It wasn't fair at all. Tsuna was always left behind.
A lump formed in his throat as he turned from the window and looked at the same living room that he saw each day. Home was like a prison to him, and after his entire life of observing, he knew every nook and cranny there was in the Sawada residence. To his left a television stood on a white piece of furniture, Tezuka's toys were sprawled on the ground in front of it. A couch stood to his right. It matched the light carpet on the ground.
Tsuna sighed as he walked towards the other end of the living room to sit on one of the chairs placed in front of a rectangular table. He crossed his arms and buried his face in them. He wanted to cry, but tears never came out.
Tezuka had everything in life; their mother's undying love, their father's proud face that was only reserved for Tezuka, all the most expensive toys and clothes, and even the wish to eat whatever he wanted for dinner twice a week while Tsuna could never decide. Life was simply in the favor of Tezuka.
But, there was one thing that Tezuka didn't have. Something that was sent down by powers beyond human understanding, a gift reserved only for Tsuna. He smiled slightly as he looked up from his crossed arms. He focused and narrowed his eyes on the center of the table.
And there it was; a single floating flame, so pure that it lit up Tsuna's ever depressing mood and day. It was the only thing that kept him sane. If it wasn't for the flame, he didn't know what he would do.
He reached for it with his hand and never hesitated to pull back because he knew that the flames wouldn't hurt him. Whenever he touched the flames, the flames would just lick his skin pleasantly.
"If you are my light, is my life with mother and Tezuka my darkness?" The flames brightness increased as he spoke the words.
"Mom, I hope Dame-Tsuna stays in his room all day," a voice cut in. The flame slowly disappeared into nothingness as Tezuka stepped into the living room.
"What are you doing here Dame-Tsuna? Ruining my day already," Tezuka said as he stomped heavily on the living room floor. Tsuna looked into his brother's eyes. Tezuka just growled. A second later an evil smile appeared on his face, "mom, Dame-Tsuna is cursing again, he's making me really sad!" Tezuka cupped his hands around his face as he feigned crying. Their mother walked in a moment later.
"Tsuna! Why are you always making your brother cry? And you wonder why you can't come and play with us? Learn to behave first young man," his mother put her arms around Tezuka. Tsuna looked on with a throbbing feeling in his chest.
"But mo-."
"No buts Tsuna, go to your room, now," her mother said in a tone that would never allow Tsuna to protest.
Tsuna simply hopped off the chair and walked towards the corridor next to the living room. His mother was still comforting Tezuka as he looked back over his shoulder. An evil smile was plastered on his brother's face as he leaned on their mother's shoulder while looking at Tsuna.
"Senpai, wake up, senpai, earth to senpai."
"Huh what?"
{Forget}
"You were daydreaming senpai, and I thought that you said that I was hard to wake," Fran was looked bored and worriedly towards Tsuna.
Currently the two of them were in their new apartment's living room. Fran didn't care much for the interior, so when Tsuna chose for light walls and dark furniture, Fran didn't complain at all. He simply dumped his bag of clothes in his own chosen room and went to sleep. When he woke up he wanted to drink some water, but when he saw Tsuna sleeping on the couch with a tormented expression, a sight that he didn't encounter many times, he began to worry.
Tsuna was mumbling in his sleep. Fran didn't know everything about his senpai, but what he did know was that he was too kind for his own good, even when he showed differently. Tsuna was very professional, but he had the most unforgiving weakness in the entire maffia world; kindness. If Tsuna wasn't as skilled as he was, he would have died by now.
"Dreams of the past Fran, dark dreams," Tsuna said before he yawned. He stood and walked to the window. A view of Namimori welcomed him. The school wasn't far from their apartment. The target's house was not far either. They had picked out a good apartment. With the help of their Famiglia it was also less difficult to find housing under the watchful eyes of Reborn.
Tsuna slept for far too much. He didn't like sleeping longer than eight hours, even though his body protested most of the time. The sky was darkening and it would be seven p.m. soon, "I'm going out," he said as he turned for the door of their apartment.
"Want me to come with you?"
"No, I need some time alone," he said as he closed the door behind him. Fran would understand, he always did.
Fran had a somewhat similar past after all, except that his friend never knew his own parents. Tsuna, after years of research and hunting down specialists, found out that Fran was conceived in a lab. His parents were scientists who died protecting him. Fran was doomed because of his genetics that would have meant his death. Fran's parents experimented on Fran's genetics to save his life, but when the mafia found out, they were killed before they could continue. Thankfully for his friend's sake, the scientists managed to give the by now one month old Fran to a lady in the mountains. That's where Tsuna found Fran.
The streets were becoming emptier as he walked on the pavement. It was autumn and the trees were shedding crisp and orange colored leaves. He had his hands in his pockets. It was always around this month that he felt depressed. Deep down inside he knew why. Today was the die that he died, the day that his family buried him deep into the ground. If only they knew.
But if they knew, Tsuna would never have met Baron or Fran, or any of the other wonderful people in the world. It was a sad fact, but he would choose his afterlife, the life that started when Sawada Tsunayoshi died and Abel Tsunayoshi was born, over his life before.
It still stung and hurt, but Tsuna couldn't cry. He hadn't cried in so long, he couldn't even remember the last time. It was as if the tears were being collected in a large vault deep in his heart. "I wonder if one day the vault will flood," he thought, but didn't care either way. He was too broken to care. Abel Tsunayoshi would manage.
He stood and looked with tired eyes at the familiar playground that was a few streets away from his childhood home. It was abandoned, no wonder considering the time and the ever so darkly becoming sky.
He sighed and walked to one of the swing in the playground. He sat on the right swing of the pair and looked up in the sky as he let gravity swing him forward and back.
It was probably an hour later, because the sky was pitch black, when he woke up from his mesmerized state. It felt too surreal to be back in Namimori. His feet wanted him to walk towards the nearest airport and leave, but his brain told him otherwise.
"Feeling lonely tonight Tsunayoshi?" A baby like voice said.
He looked to his left and saw Reborn sitting on the other swing. He nodded towards him, "hello Reborn-san."
Fate was odd. It was autumn, lonely, depressive and cold, and his only companion for the night was the deadliest hitman in the entire world who didn't know that Tsunayoshi was his pupil's older brother.
"Is there a reason that you look so sad Tsunayoshi?" Reborn asked as he looked up at Tsuna.
Tsuna didn't know why, but he turned and looked at dark marble eyes, empty pits in fact; it was the most welcoming sight he had ever seen since arriving in Namimori.
"I'm trying to forget something that never happened," he gave a tired smile.
Reborn wouldn't understand him of course, but it was still nice to have someone listen to his cryptic words that even he himself had trouble understanding. The next words that were spoken by Reborn, however, surprised him, "you can't forget something that never happened, you need to acknowledge that it happened. Denying something that you know has taken place is only running away from the truth. Only by embracing your past can you truly forget," and with that the legendary hitman jumped off the swing and walked away. His direction was, of course, Tsuna's old home.
"You're an odd boy Tsunayoshi," Reborn said without looking back.
"You wouldn't know the half of it," Tsuna said so low that only he could hear.