CHAPTER ELEVEN

Cheering and applause rang through the room as Teddy and Rayna stood side by side in a sea of people. The election was finally over and he had done it, he had won.

"You did it, you won, you won, you won!" Maddie and Daphne squealed, jumping up to hug their Father.

"Congratulations Mr Mayor." Rayna said, smiling tiredly as she leant over the girls to kiss him. Teddy thanked her and took her hand.

"Hey! We did it!" he yelled to his campaign team. Rayna didn't hear much else because everything was drowned out by the festivities. She simply nodded to acknowledge peoples congratulations, focusing on keeping her self in check.

Outwardly, she appeared to be everything you would expect the newfound Mayor's wife to be. Respectable, loving, supportive and happy. But the more she tried to focus on being that, the harder she found it to breathe. When Deacon walked away yesterday he had taken her sanity, leaving her to bleed as she struggled to pick up her pieces. Rayna hated herself for not speaking the words they both needed to hear, but her mouth had betrayed her, leaving her to fend for herself. Not that that was an excuse. She couldn't claim innocence in this; Deacon had pushed her away before she pushed him first. The more she thought about it she confused her heart's voice with the one of reason and logic. She couldn't think straight, her body was weak and her heart was numb.

Rayna didn't remember taking the journey between the hotel room and the conference hall. She had been torn from her recollections when she noticed Teddy trying to get her attention. They had stopped backstage, waiting for Teddy to be invited onto the stage to address Nashville as the new mayor.

"Hey! Rayna!?" Teddy clicked in her face, agitated at her unresponsiveness. "Rayn-!"

"I hear you." She snapped, angrily brushing hair out of her face.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked.

"Nothing is wrong with me!" Rayna said through her teeth, smiling at people who were hurrying past.

"You're a terrible liar."

"Yeah well, I leave that to you…you're the politician and all." She spat, crossing her arms.

"You're gonna bring this up now?" Teddy spluttered, stepping closer to her so that they would remain unheard by those standing around them.

"You're the one calling me a liar." Rayna shrugged, adopting a cold, hard stare.

"You know what I think…I think you're lying when you say we're ok…and I'd bet a hell of a lot on the fact that the reason we're not ok is because…it has to do with Deacon."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You're always bringing Deacon into this. Why not talk about Peggy for a chang-?"

"-Spare me Rayna."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She crossed her arms tighter, unintentionally letting her volume rise. This attracted a number of looks from onlookers who had been trying to remain detached from the conversation in an attempt to give them privacy. Rayna caught Tandy out of the corner of her eye leading Maddie and Daphne out of earshot.

"Are we over?" He asked, hands on hips as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Why would you ask me that?" She answered, a little thrown by his question.

"I'm asking because of Deacon! I see the way you look at him. I saw the way he looked at you last night, on and off stage. He was undressing you with his eyes…. Rayna, are you sleeping with him?" He asked, not breaking eye contact. Rayna fought to stop herself from blushing.

"I..I'm no-"

"-When you said you wanted space, I didn't think space meant we were seeing other people." He pointed at her.

"You don't believe me?" She answered, throwing her hands up in the air.

"No I don't."

"That's just perfect."

"Yeah well."

"What about Peggy?" Rayna spat, glaring at him.

"We're not doing this. Not now." Teddy replied, fixing his collar.

"Have you slept with her since I've been gone?" Rayna pushed, angry that he made no attempts to deny it.

"We're not doing this...someone is going to hear you." He retreated.

"Then quit blasting me about Deacon." She shushed, stomping her foot in frustration.

"You know what…you don't care anymore…and I don't care…I don't care anymore either...what difference does it make?" Teddy breathed, waving at someone walking past.

Before Rayna could speak they were both being ushered up a set of stairs with their daughters. The flashes of cameras and the flooding light that filled the stage attacked their eyes. Immediately they embraced the happy family façade, becoming shiny veneers of confidence in the public eye as they held onto one another, smiling joyfully. Teddy stepped forward and began his address. Rayna would have paid more attention, but if she had, cameras would have caught the distain on her face at the words that fell from her husband's mouth. Instead, she focused on holding her daughters close and smiling at the ground.

- NASHVILLE -

"Whoa…steady." Liam teased, watching Rayna gulp down another shot glass of whiskey.

Rayna couldn't hear him over the music so she pretended to ignore him. After Teddy had made his speech they had all convoyed over to a celebratory party in his honour. Since their argument backstage she had avoided speaking to Teddy, instead heading straight for the bar where she intended to drown every one of her burdens.

"People only seem to drink that much when they drink to get drunk." Liam continued, taking a seat next to her.

"I'm fine. Really." She said unconvincingly as she asked for another round. Liam let out a low whistle, motioning to the bartender for a glass of what she was having.

"You're a terrible li-" He started.

"-Liar. Yeah that's me…just ask my husband, hell ask Deacon." She interrupted, shaking her head as she downed the whole glass that had just been put in front of her. Liam took in the sight, wiping his hands on his jeans as he decided on what to say next.

"Rayna…you should probably slow down…"

"Why? I'm not your responsibility. I'm all alone anyway…there's no use in you caring…Teddy hates me…and then there's Deacon…he hates me more." She wallowed, resting her head on her glass to shake the dizziness she was slowly starting to feel.

"So this is about Dea-"

"-Why is everyone saying it's about Deacon?!"

"Maybe because you've mentioned him just now? Where is he anyway?" Liam asked, looking around the room for him.

"How should I know?!" She exclaimed.

"Because you always seem to know…I'm gonna kill him…I'll kill you for making me come if he get's the night off. That's part of the gig, turning up to this thing, right?" He asked, acknowledging Rayna as she nodded.

"I thought you were here for Teddy, to show your support as his greatest fan and all?" Rayna giggled, resting her head on her arms as she laid her head on the bar..

"That's you're job." Liam teased, gently pushed her on the shoulder

"He kissed me…twice…and I kissed him back." She said unthinkingly.

"Teddy?" He asked. Rayna remained still. "Not Teddy?" He tried again as she nodded. Liam's eyes widened.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Juliette derided, appearing behind Liam and Rayna. Neither of them acknowledged her presence, both aware that she could have heard what Rayna has just confessed.

"Rayna? Are you drunk?" Juliette pushed, crossing her arms as she smelt the alcohol.

"Seriously, go home. The adults are talking. Isn't it past your bedtime anyway?" Liam baited Juliette, hoping she'd get angry and leave.

"You're an ass."

"You like my ass? I always knew it."

Juliette ignored him. "As much as I want to see her publically humiliated." Juliette waved to Rayna. "And believe me I would love that…I don't want her messing up my tour either by doing something stupid tonight. We need to get her out of here."

"How do you suggest we do that?" Liam questioned, confused at Juliette's sudden concern for Rayna.

"I dunno. First…we're taking her drink." Juliette answered, taking Rayna's glass out of her hand. "My cars out back, can you help me?"

Suddenly aware of what was happening, Rayna's stubbornness kicked into gear.

"I'm not going anywhere with y'all!" She insisted, standing up unsteadily. "I'm fine. Stop worrying about me. Especially you.." She pointed at Juliette. "Miss sparkly pants…I do not need your help." Rayna giggled, reaching for the bar to steady herself.

"Don't listen to her, she's drunk." Liam shook his head as he looked at Juliette.

"You won't be saying that when you're stranded somewhere, vomiting in a strangers toilet bowl wondering how the hell you got there." Juliette breathed, smiling at Rayna. Liam interrupted, holding his hands up between them to call a time out. He knew that if he didn't stop them now, Rayna and Juliette would get into a full-fledged argument.

"Fine Rayna, if you've got it all together…do whatever you want." He pointed out calmly.

"Maybe I will!" She replied bitterly as she turned around and headed through the room of dancing strangers.

"Where is she going? She's worse than my Momma I swear." Juliette exclaimed, glaring at Liam for encouraging her to walk away.

"Rayna's a big girl. She can do what she wants. She'll do what she wants. Besides I have a feeling she's in no mood to take advice from anyone." He shrugged, letting a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Especially you...Miss sparkly pants."

Liam waved his hand at the bartender. "I'll have another. She'll have water...too young for the real stuff." Liam asked, patting the seat next to him as he looked back at her. Juliette swore at him and turned around, slipping into conversation with someone else. Liam let out a long laugh as he took a drink and hoped that Rayna wouldn't do anything stupid.

- NASHVILLE -

Rayna stood arms crossed in the cold on Deacon's front porch as she kicked at the splintering wood beneath her feet. She had knocked a good number of times and he hadn't answered. Whether her lack of clarity or her heart was to blame in leading her to his doorstep, she didn't know. After storming out of the party she wanted to shut tonight and all it had held. She needed familiar, she needed Deacon. Giving up, she slowly started to make her way down the stairs when she heard the creaking of the front door. Her heart skipped a beat as she spun around, running back to where she had stood before. Deacon looked like he had just woken up, his hair showing all kinds of disorder. She shuddered, taking him in.

"What are you doing here?" Deacon whispered hoarsely, the last word catching in his throat as he leant against the doorframe.

Sure that her words would betray her again Rayna boldly moved, wrapping her arms around him as she put her lips to his. Initially startled, Deacon sidestepped before pulling her closer to himself as he kissed her deeply. Rayna returned the kiss with a passion that she didn't realise she was capable of. By the slight sway in his hold, she guessed he had been surprised too. It was as if she had been saving all her love for this very moment, hunger and desire let loose to run free.

"Why are you here Ray?" He breathed, pulling away from her. Rayna moved to kiss him again but he only shifted further backwards.

"Can't we just?" She answered, before pulling him back towards her in the hope that he would kiss her again.

Deacon stood still, determined to stand his ground. He noticed her drunkenness from the moment her lips had met his. Yesterday he had painfully walked away from her, hoping she'd leave this to be, returning to Teddy and the stability she thought he offered her. But when he had seen her standing here he couldn't help thinking maybe she'd come to say he'd been wrong to walk away. Deacon forced himself not to let hope get the better of him. He was done with this game of pretend and white lies that left them both hollow, especially when she knew he wanted more than this.

"Why are you here?"

"I thought I made it obvious?" Rayna gestured between them indicating that she was talking about the kiss. Deacon shook his head.

"Did you come here to tell me I was wrong for walking away yesterday? Or did you come here to spite Teddy?" He whispered. Rayna stood still. "Because using me to get at him is wrong. Using this..." He gestured between them, referencing the kiss like she had. "...instead of telling me what you really want isn't fair either."

He shifted uneasily before continuing, holding her gaze.

"Do you even know what you want Ray? Because I do. I want more than waiting and hoping that maybe you'll choose me. I want more than pretend, more than elevators and back stages. I want more than this. I want you."

Rayna's eyes widened as his last words fell into silence. She began to shake her head, but Deacon spoke.

"No don't do that, acting like this is the first time you're hearing this. You know…You know that I've always wanted you."

She bit her lip, trying not to cry as she let his words sink their teeth into her heart. Why had she come? She wished she didn't have the answer, but it hung silently waiting to be heard. Her heart told her that she had come here to let her feeling show, but her mind refused to let her believe that, rationalising away the passion play that was running circles around her with the notion that she had had too much to drink. Rayna swore at the mess they'd gotten themselves into. Deacon was the part of her she wished she didn't need and the thought that he could walk away without another word was unbearable. Shaking inwardly, Rayna knew what she had to say. Sober or not, she was tired of reading between the lines, she realised that if she was really honest she wanted something more too. Rayna bit her nails when her words didn't make a sound.

"It's not so easy…" She choked, regretting how she had chosen to start.

Deacon flinched as he looked away, slowly shaking his head in hopelessness. If she couldn't acknowledge what he'd said or what he knew she felt, they'd continue this chase and run around till time ceased to exist. He bit his tongue. Truth be told, until she spoke what they both needed to hear, he was couldn't do this. He wasn't going to continue to speak her mind for her.

"You should go. We can't do this anymore. It isn't fair on either of us." He whispered, hands on hips as he turned away.

Trembling, Rayna ran for the door, slamming it as she went. She hadn't even reached the footpath when she began to cry. Her heart had walked into a fire when she had stormed out and now she just wanted to be left to burn. In an instant, the walls they had dutifully crafted to keep their hearts hidden had come crashing down. He was cut the ribbons that bound them together, leaving her in disrepair. If this was what it was like to say goodbye to him, she didn't want any part of it. Rayna needed to do what she hadn't done a long time ago; she needed be honest. Breathlessly she choked on tears as she fumbled for her phone. She scrolled till she found the number she was looking for. Unsteadily, she hit the send button, checking the message as it beeped to say it had been sent. Reading it again, she said it out loud.

"Teddy, we need to talk."