Chapter 13

Castiel watched as Sam paced in front of his brother. It took a lot of his energy to heal Dean, but the damage was necessary. He had to hurt Dean so that Castiel could save him. He also obliterated the mass of vile spawn that were swooping in to devour everything in the process.

"What the hell was that, Cas?" Sam said for the third time. Cas studied his friend for a moment. If it was anyone else he wouldn't have answered. He disliked repeating himself. But this was Sam. Sam Winchester his friend, and Cas wanted to keep his friends.

"Angel fire," he responded curtly.

"I have never seen Angel fire do anything like that!" Sam retorted and his pacing continued. Castiel was not ready to explain everything to Sam. He did not want to disclose where he had been; which was the first of many questions his friend had asked him. He also did not want to disclose how Angel fire was able to put a quarter mile wide crater into the country side. It was not the time. So he kept his silence and looked to his Father to aid him in understanding the finer points of patience.

"When is he going to wake up?" Sam asked looking down at Dean and Cas counted this to be the eighth time he asked that question.

Dean…

Cas looked at his friend resting on a cot on the other side of the small tented room. Cas had already studied the man's soul and body closely for a long time and knew that he had healed Dean completely. He did not know why the other man slept as long as he did, but he assumed it had something to do with how badly he was injured, and the amount of healing it took to put him back together. Whatever the reason, Castiel was certain it would end on its own time when Dean was ready to come around. Letting his eyes trail back to Dean's face, Cas studied the hunter's slacken features. He had done this often as well for the past twelve hours while Dean slept.

Castiel explored his feelings, no longer raw and painful as they had once been, and decided that he felt as he had before for Dean. He was a friend who Cas cared about. He was someone Cas wanted to protect. And yet… there was that small darkness in the corner of his mind that had not been there before. A vast pinprick of emptiness that seemed to be getting larger. Dean made him feel…lonely. His Grace responded to the feeling and left him unsettled. He disliked all of it.

"Cas, are you even listening to me?" Cas's eyes shifted back to Sam who was still pacing.

"Yes, Sam, I have more Angel fire."

"How much more?" Sam asked and Castiel tugged at his coat pockets. Opening his hand, he showed four long vials lined up side by side. Three of them were a deep putrid green, while the fourth was a misty sort of blue. Sam came over to where Cas sat on the ground and examined the vials.

"Why does this one look different?" He asked, pointing at the blue vial. Cas picked up the vial and put it back into his pocket.

"That one is for Dean," he said flatly.

"…ok…" Sam said after a moment. He sounded confused. Castiel didn't know why considering he made it quite clear that vial was not his concern. "So, what do you do, throw them like a molitav?"

"No."

"…ok…" Now Sam was starting to sound a bit annoyed. A rustle of sheets from behind alerted the men that Dean was beginning to stir.

"He's waking up!" Sam exclaimed, relieved, "Cas, do you see? He's going to be ok!" A growing dread rose up in Castiel's throat and he space shifted away before Sam could even turn to face him again. There was so much yet to do. He knew Dean was angry with him but Castiel needed more time. He wasn't avoiding the inevitable confrontation…nothing of the sort. He needed to find a way to keep both Dean and Sam alive and unhurt. He just wasn't ready.

Dean stood at the edge of a large crater in the earth and tried to guess on its depth. He glanced over his shoulder and estimated that the crater stopped just twenty feet shy of the outer ring of cars.

Cutting it pretty close there, angel, Dean thought. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at it for a minute before slipping it back inside. He wasn't going to call the guy. Not again. If Castiel wanted to avoid him…well he could just go fuck himself. After Dean came around and realized he wasn't dead, Sam relayed to him what Cas had said about the Angel fire. The liquid in those vials did not sound like Holy oil, but he didn't know why Cas would lie. Although there was definitely something that the angel was not telling either of them. And there was the whole going back on his promise thing.

Dean wished that the angel would just talk to him. Sure he was angry. Sure he couldn't even think of the angels name without his gut wrenching and threatening bowel blockage. But when he found out what had happened and that he was healed, his first thought was the condition of Castiel's Grace. He didn't know how much his friend had left to spare but he was pretty sure piecing Dean back together took a hell of a lot of healing mojo. Did he spend himself on the effort? Dean picked up a rock and chucked it into the hole the Holy fire rent. It was high time that they moved on now that their location was discovered by the enemy force. That attack sent against them was not merely to capture the hunters or to perhaps retrieve the Winchester journal. No, it was sent with every intention to wipe the hunters all off of the face of the earth. Well one thing was certain; no one doubted him now about the monster army.

"Castiel," Dean said aloud before he even knew he was saying it. "This is a whole lot of bullshit you are pulling right now." He glanced up at the sky; so clear and blue, and could feel the ice growing again in the pit of his stomach. He hated loving. He hated hurting. It seemed like the two went hand in hand as far as the angel was concerned. Dean closed his eyes.

"Castiel," he tried again, and waited. The rustling sweep of wind brought the smell of rotting leaves from the distant forest. Dean swallowed hard against a lump forming in his throat. "Cas, I need you," he whispered, and a warm hand rested gently on his shoulder.

"Hey," Sam said softly behind him and Dean felt his heart wither inside. "He'll come back."

"Right," Dean opened his eyes and wiped at his nose. The stone cold resound covered him like a winter blanket. "You get everything packed?" With Sam's nod, Dean started walking back to the camp. "Then we move out."

"But where will we go?" Sam asked from behind him, taking long strides to catch up with his brother.

"The time for laying camp and finding recruits is past, Sammy. We hunt now until there is nothing left to hunt or no one left to hunt it." Dean could hear the sound of his brother's footsteps fall short behind him but he walked on. Let them all die. Let them all burn. He was past the point of caring. He was done with the supernatural.