TO ALL WHO ARE STILL READING AS WE SLOWLY COME TO THE HOME STRETCH...Thank you thank you thank you for your kind words and comments...I have honestly felt like I haven't written this alone...it is as if we have sat around a lounge room all sharing our loves and hates, our hopes and all that lies in between. Without you it would be twice as hard to have written all that I have, so thank you again...

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

A Day Later…

"Whoa…Rayna? Do you know what time it is?" Liam called, looking at his cell phone as he stepped out of the elevator. Rayna sat huddled on the floor next to his hotel door in the low-lit corridor. She looked up at him, her eyes red and face tear streaked. "When you called earlier to say you needed someone to talk to, I thought it meant-" He began, cutting himself off when he realised she wasn't listening to him. Hesitantly he slid down the wall to sit next to her, watching her curiously.

"I'm sorry, It's just…I had no one else to talk to." She whispered, hiding her face in her knees.

"Ok." He replied, intrigued that she had chosen to come to him.

"How is it that I have managed to screw everything up so badly?"

"If we're gonna talk, you might need to maybe fill me in on what you're talking about."

Rayna shook her head hastily.

"Fine. You're crying, you look like death and you're coming to me for advice…so I'm thinking this has something to do with Deacon?" He questioned, staring in her direction as he waited for a reply. Rayna nodded, resting her head against the wall.

"This is all my fault…He's never gonna speak to me again and it's all my fault."

"I doubt that Rayna."

"You didn't see the way he looked at me last night…I've hurt him and he doesn't deserve it. Why would he speak to me?...Hell I wouldn't even speak to me." She replied bitterly, banging her head on the wall as she said the last word. "I'd hate me if I was Deacon."

"I can promise you that he doesn't hate you." He said corrected, watching Rayna shake her head in disagreement.

"Can you?" She asked angrily, shocked by the force in her voice. "Because I can't."

"Hey, I'm not the enemy." Liam retorted, throwing his hands up in surrender. Rayna apologised, wiping her hands over her face.

"Not once in the last twelve years have things felt as over between us as they do now and-" She whispered, tears falling again.

"-Ok, you need to stop." He demanded, straightening his posture. Rayna looked up at him with confusion written all over her face. "Stop the wallowing…you're not gonna get anywhere if you keep thinking about what you've done to him, what he's done to you and whatever else you're punishing yourself for."

Rayna unthinkingly began to wipe her tears away as she numbly waited to hear what he would say next.

"Rayna, what do you actually want?" He asked, shifting his position so he could look at her better. Thrown by his question, she remained silent. "I know that you know what you already want…you're just too proud to say it."

"I'm not too-"

"-Ok, that there is something people like to call denial." He interrupted, pointing at her as he spoke. Rayna sniffed, accepting defeat.

"I don't want it to be over." She whispered, her eyes looking hopelessly into his. "I just want Deacon."

"Well if that's what you want, why are you still sitting here outside my door?" Liam asked impatiently.

"I feel like I'm losing everything…I…I can't lose him too." She replied, resting her head on her hands as she looked at him and ignored his comment.

"You will lose him if you don't get off your ass and go talk to him." He pushed. Rayna fought his comment, shaking her head unconvincingly. "He does know how you feel about him doesn't he?"

"I don't know, I guess he does." She answered reluctantly, shifting her position.

"You guess he does?"

"Why are getting mad at me, asking all these questions?" She deflected, frustration in her eyes.

"How is it fair to either of you if you've never told him how you feel about him? No wonder your both not talking to each other. I can understand his frustration, really I can." He countered, crossing his arms in feigned disappointment.

"There's a lot more to it then that."

"From where I'm sitting…there kind of isn't."

"What if he doesn't want to listen to what I have to sa-?" She asked, anxiety creeping into her voice.

"-Rayna something can't be over if the other person doesn't know that it was even starting." He replied, watching her sit tight-lipped. "If you want Deacon as much as I know you do, then you need to trust that he wants you too…regardless of whatever you've both done to screw things up lately." Liam assured, squeezing her knee as he spoke. "How can you not see that?"

"Never had you pegged as a romantic." She laughed weakly as she looked at the seriousness on his face.

"I know, I've been told that before." He smiled, searching her eyes as he tried to figure out what she was thinking. Rayna exhaled heavily as she stood. She sidestepped, misjudging the speed of her movements. Liam laughed brashly.

"Where are you going?" He asked, already knowing the answer to his own question as he watched her walk away.

"You know where I'm going."

"So this bottle of whiskey…I guess I'm drinking it alone?" He called, smiling when she turned around.

"I didn't know you had whiskey."
"I always have whiskey."

"Bye Liam."

- NASHVILLE -

Standing uneasily in an elevator in the early hours of the morning, Rayna was beyond edgy. She had looked for Deacon everywhere, he hadn't replied to her messages and no one she came across could tell her if they'd seen him. Rayna had even gone as far as to pace back and forth out of sight on Juliette's penthouse floor because she thought Deacon had been writing music with her. Giving up, she had finally resorted to riding the elevator in the small hope that Deacon would eventually have to use it. Ungluing her eyes from her cell phone when the elevator doors rattled open, Rayna's heart fell through the floor. By the look on Deacon's face he felt exactly the same way.

"Hi." She choked, eyes wide as he stood next to her and pressed the button for his floor.

"Hi." He replied, looking straight ahead.

"Deacon, I think we need to talk." She whispered, shoving her cell phone into her pocket. Remaining silent, Deacon looked at her loosely before looking at the ground. Rayna nervously twirled her hair, her eyes shooting up when he suddenly stepped out of the elevator. Instinctively she ran after him, following as he walked towards his hotel room.

"Deacon…Deacon?!" She hissed, looking around as she spoke. "Can you hold up for just a second?!"

He fumbled with his key card and opened the door, ignoring her as she spoke. Stepping inside, Deacon went to close the door. Rayna slammed her weight against it, stopping him.

"Don't slam the door in my face…I…I just want to talk." She pleaded, hoping that he would listen to her.

Cautiously she felt the pressure on the door relax and she stumbled into the hotel room after him. Rayna nervously took in her surrounding as she watched him flip the light switch. He walked over and threw his key card and cell phone on a table not far from the unmade queen-sized bed in the middle of the room. Clothes, sheet music and empty plates and cups lay around the room, making her smile as she recalled the many times over the years that she had found his room in this kind of disorderly state. Self-consciously she stopped looking when she felt his eyes studying her.

"So..." She whispered, avoiding his gaze as she leant against the wall closest to the door. She was still unsure whether to move any further into the room, especially after his unwarm welcome.

"So…" He mimicked, leaning against a chair next to the table.

"Can we skip the awkward silence and just talk? Not just me, but us…can we talk? Yell at me, anything I don't care…whatever, as long as I don't have to have this conversation by myself." She scrabbled with her words, searching his eyes as she controlled the shakiness in her voice.

"Would you have told me about Maddie if y'all hadn't got divorced?" He asked. Rayna froze. Out of all the ways she had imagined this conversation to begin, this had not been one of them.

"I don't know." She replied honestly, saying each word slowly. Deacon nodded, looking away from her as he absorbed what she'd said.

"Why did you tell me then? Why now?"

"Because I couldn't lie to you…not anymore...I hated that you didn't know, especially since we were you know…" She replied, stopping short before changing tracks. "Deacon please believe me when I say I care-" She countered, matching his volume.

"-It's not like you haven't hurt me before, how is lying any differ-?" He replied.

"-And you've never hurt me?"

"Ray, we're talking about a child…our child."

"And I'm talking about us, you and I…that's just as important. What about us Deacon?" She reacted, stomping her foot in frustration.

"Just as import-?" Deacon asked, looking up at her.

"-You think I didn't tell you because I wanted to hurt you, seriously? All I ever think about is you and I. Have you really forgotten all we've been through? I've had to drag you unconscious out of hotels just like this...Remember?...I would make myself sick while I waited in emergency rooms hoping that you were still alive…And what about the times you promised me it would all be ok?...I never lost faith in you…I just lost myself in the middle of it all." She choked, tears running down her face. Rayna exhaled and looked up at Deacon to see if he was still listening to her. He stood motionless.

"I couldn't keep believing that you'd be ok because every time I did and things got bad, it took a piece of me...it took pieces until I didn't know who I was anymore…Moving on was the hardest thing I've ever had to do…and it hurts today as much as it did back then…I've lived with that decision every single day…" She replied, watching him closely. Deacon remained wordless still.

"Deacon, I didn't tell you about Maddie because I was protecting both of us-"

"-I'm sorry." He whispered, shame flooding his face as he listened to her and took a step forward.

"Its ok-"

"-No it's not. Ray, I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. Maybe this isn't a good idea…maybe we should just leave whatever this and move on…" He interrupted, his words stinging his insides as he stopped her attempts to justify his actions. "I'm gonna see Juliette tomorrow and tell her I'm resigning…you don't need me around her-"

Horror filled Rayna's body as she began to comprehend what he was saying. She couldn't lose him, not again. She refused to make the mistake of letting Deacon walk away from her when his eyes said something entirely different. Rayna wasn't going to let their history and her stupid miscommunication settle something it had no right to. She just wanted him; it had always been Deacon. He had always been the one she wanted to keep close, the one who held her love. She couldn't believe it had taken him wanting to call the whole thing off for her to see it clearly. Courageously she willed her tongue to speak the things it had held on to for longer than it had deserved.

"-I won't leave it." She blurted out, stopping him midsentence as he looked at her brave expression. Rayna took a step towards him. "Not too long ago you asked me what I wanted and I-"

"-Ray you don't hav-" He interfered, shaking his head.

"-Deacon I didn't come here to say goodbye so would you just shush it...I came because I never told you what I should have said."

Deacon stood silently, his expression softening at her stubbornness and changing tone.

"I don't care if we've screwed everything up…I just need you to hear me…We both want the same thing…the one thing I have fought so long. I thought it was wrong but Deacon out of everything I've ever known, you're the only certain one." She said matter-of-factly as she searched his face. "You're not the only one who wants more than elevators and pretending. I want more then waiting, I want more than sleepless nights wondering if you think about me too and I sure as hell don't want goodbye." She said boldly, taking another step as she spoke. "I just want you."

Moving nearer still, Rayna's hands trembled as she reached for his and looked up at him. Deacon changed his position, trying to convince himself to let go of her and back away. More than anything he wanted to pull her into his arms and feel her close against his chest but he was afraid that this was some cruel play on his mind. He had waited so long for Rayna to reciprocate the notions and emotions he knew they both felt for one another that he'd forgotten what it was like to let his heart sit wide open. The thought that that time was finally here terrified him, all this time he'd been broken and now she was finally offering him a way out by giving him her love again. Deacon looked into her eyes, his hands shaking as her gaze tore down the walls he'd built to protect his heavy heart. Rayna stepped closer and he had little motivation to refuse her any longer, he was through with fighting his reservations.

"You are the one I want." She whispered as she rested her palms against his chest, the air changing between them as they lingered in the stillness, breathing one another's air. Deacon shuddered, rigid at her touch. Ignoring him, Rayna carefully wrapped her arms around his neck as she deliberately looked into his eyes. The blaze ignited within her body burned intensely as she stood so close to him and that was enough for Deacon's resolve to come crashing down.

Impulsively Deacon responded, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist as he pulled her into the kiss they had both ached for and rehearsed over in their heads many times before. Rayna sighed at the initial contact, her greatest imaginings not doing the moment justice. Her balance wavering as her body reacted to his, hands trailing up and down his back as the kiss deepened. Deacon steadied her as he pulled her closer to himself. In a place of their own, they spun around; intertwined in reacquainting themselves with the things they had loved most about one another. Shutting out the world, they let their hearts lead the way as he guided them backwards towards the bed. The fire in his eyes both terrified and excited her; they had both thought about this moment many times before. Lightly, Rayna touched his face, looking knowingly into his eyes. Before she had time to react, Deacon's mouth crashed against hers as he pulled her down with him. Rayna giggled, toppling onto him as their hands and lips became a sea of frenzied chaos, passion and desire running free as they embraced one another again. Wrapping her legs around his waist as he shifted their position, Rayna pulled him on top of her and kissed him passionately. Hastily, her fingers moved to pull his shirt off and he obliged, taking the shirt out of her hands and throwing it aimlessly into the air. Rayna reached for his belt buckle and Deacon laughed at her impatience, leaning back on his knees to look at her fully. Frustrated, Rayna propped herself up on her elbows as she lay beneath him. Blowing a strand of dishevelled hair out of her eyes, she studied his expression.

"What?" She asked irritably, narrowing her eyes as she struggled to figure him out.

Deacon smirked, his fingers slowly and playfully unbuttoning her blouse. She blushed, her eyes wide at his bold advance. Rayna's elbows gave way as he began to lean closer to her, sending her flat on her back as she anticipated his next move. Chest to chest, Deacon smiled as he whispered into her ear.

"I have missed this."