Rachel walked along the edge of the McKinley school grounds. She had studied for most of the evening, but her mind just wouldn't let her forget her fathers. She felt coiled like a spring, ready to release her energy in some way. In realizing her tension, the brunette figured she needed to walk and clear her mind out in the cool night air. She had skirted the grounds previously, but this time she was edging the fences. It was almost as if she was weighing the decision to head back out into the world, away from the safety of the school. Part of her felt the need to check to see if her fathers were all right. Another part of her screamed that staying would allow her to carve a future and make them proud.
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Rachel leaned against the bars separating the school full of gifted students from the ignorant world beyond. Being at the school had so far been interesting and she had met all different kinds of people, but she was still always on guard. If not for her own safety, then for the safety of those around her. Dr. Schuester understood, but at the same time couldn't comprehend her situation. Sometimes she would feel hopeless and that's when she'd take a walk, look at the stars, and try to remind herself of all of the things that were worth fighting for.
Quinn could have walked away - she knew Rachel hadn't seen her, that she was wrapped up in her own world. Quinn knew the feeling. She'd been sitting near the fence, on a blanket she'd borrowed from her bedroom, staring up at the stars.
Where was her child? Was she looking up at the same stars right now, with the blind wonder of an infant? Or was she a thousand miles away, under a different set of stars? She didn't know - she'd never know. It was part of the deal. All she'd ever be able to do was wonder and wish.
She didn't want to startle the other girl, but she thought she should announce her presence, just so Rachel didn't think she was being spied on or something. So she kept her voice soft and just said "hey."
Rachel heard the quiet greeting and looked towards the source, spotting Quinn sitting against the fence. "Good evening..." she said hesitantly. Even though they seemed to be passed what had happened the previous week, the brunette was already tense enough and the blonde seemed to have been lost in thought as well. She didn't want to bother (or start trouble) with Quinn so she continued walking. "My apologies for disturbing you."
The telepath nodded and continued her walk. There was plenty of space all throughout the McKinley school grounds and Quinn seemed to have been there before her. She had no problem moving on. It was a feeling she'd become used to in her life.
"Rachel," Quinn called softly after her. "You don't have to leave. You can come and sit if you want. I've got plenty of blanket." She still felt guilty about how she'd treated the brunette, and doubly guilty for her misunderstood joke in Santana's room. "I wouldn't mind some company right now."
She sighed. "But if you'd rather not, I don't blame you."
Rachel froze for a moment, trying to decide whether she should stay or leave. Quinn had seemed nicer since their initial meeting and she did believe in starting anew with people. The other girl hadn't seemed to really like her though and she really didn't want to make things worse between them. With a sigh the brunette stepped over beside the girl on the ground and leaned back against the fence, crossing her feet as she stood and allowing some space between them for safety. She wasn't sure whose she was thinking of at the time: hers or Quinn's.
"Why are you out here...?" she asked softly, turning her gaze to the sky once more.
"Just...wondering, I guess." Quinn was ashamed of the tears in her eyes as she looked at the stars, but for once she felt the need to be open. "Wondering if sometimes you make mistakes that you can't ever take back. How you can live with them, if that's true." She sighed. "I guess, more than anything, I'm just feeling alone tonight. And I know that's ironic, the biggest bitch in the place feeling lonely. But it's true."
She looked over at the other girl. "And you?" she turned the question. "What brings you out here?"
Rachel looked over at Quinn and frowned. She didn't like seeing anyone so distraught. The blonde's statement and subsequence question made her tense and as she closed her eyes she could see the flashes of broken, bleeding bodies before she reopened them quickly. Taking a deep breath and curling her fists, she responded. "We all make mistakes. It's a part of being human. You shouldn't think in terms of whether you can undo them or not. Instead, learn from them and put what you've learned into practice in the future. It's how we grow," she crossed her arms and tried to shake the images from her mind.
Looking over at the blonde, she shrugged. "I wouldn't know if you're the biggest bitch or not. I haven't been here long enough. I do know that people who really don't care, don't hide the way you do. You and Noah are very similar. You both like to pretend that you're untouchable, but really you feel just as much or maybe more than others. You just need someone to call you on it," she stated, looking out over the school grounds.
"I'm just..." she hesitated for a moment, but decided to tell the truth. After all, Quinn had opened up slightly and she felt like she should offer the same. "I'm thinking about everything I left behind a long time ago..."
Quinn could see Rachel tense up in her peripheral vision, but she didn't move. She didn't want to spoil the careful detente they'd established, and she wasn't sure whether contact would make her feel better or worse. "I guess," she acknowledged. "I'm not very good at learning from my mistakes, though," she chuckled quietly.
She made a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sob. "You're pretty insightful. If it wasn't for how much it hurt last time, I'd wonder if you were in my head again."
She looked up at Rachel, then averted her eyes. "I'll trade you stories of what got left behind, if you want. I'll even go first." She had no idea what was going through her head, just that she wanted to tell somebody, needed to tell somebody, and Rachel was safe. They barely knew each other, and she wasn't involved, and god she needed to say it out loud, to someone.
"I had a baby," she whispered. "Puck's baby. He doesn't know - you can't ever say anything. I left before he found out I was pregnant. It's why I missed so much of last year, why I was late coming back. I gave her up. My baby girl, and I gave her away." She put her head between her legs, trying not to cry. "You go," she muttered in a hoarse voice. "Your turn."
Rachel allowed a half-smile to take it's place on her features. "You'd be surprised how much you learn when it really comes down to it, Quinn. Believe me," she told the blonde, looking down. "I'm sorry about that...it's...not always that painful, I..." She shook her head and swallowed the lump in her throat.
She didn't even get a chance to give her answer before the blonde dropped the huge news on her. The brunette looked at Quinn wide-eyed and in shocked for a moment before responding. "Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this? Oh Jesus..." she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, I won't tell him...for now. You had better say something to him eventually. You owe him that much and Noah is a good guy underneath the mask he places up for the world to see. Whatever your justifications were...that's your business, but he deserves to hear the truth and it should come from your mouth." She ran a hand through her hair trying to find the right words.
"I'm sorry you had to give up your child. I have no idea what that must feel like. You're so young and it was probably terrifying. The only thing I can say is that you made the best decision for her and she'll grow up in a good home full of love. Someday, she will most likely want to know her birth mother and if you're ready and receptive, you'll get the chance to know her," she said, looking to Quinn again. She was speaking of her own experience, but had her mother actually wanted to know her...well, things might be a lot different.
"I'm sorry," Quinn sighed. "I didn't mean to tell you, I didn't plan that, I just - I've been going insane for months, and I haven't been able to tell anyone. I'm sorry," she kept her gaze fixed on the ground. "I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have put that on you. You just seemed...safe, I guess? I don't know. But I'm sorry."
She sighed again, sniffling back tears. "I'm going to," she promised. "I have to, I know." She looked up with a desperate sort of hope in her eyes. "Do you think so? I mean, she'll be okay, right?" She shook her head. "You don't have to answer that. I'm sorry, I didn't even let you tell me about what you left behind. I'm sorry. I'm not very good at...dealing with people."
She took a shuddering breath. "Just forget it. Tell me about you - what you were thinking of out here tonight. Before I dropped a load of shit that isn't your fault or your responsibility right on top of you."
Rachel looked at Quinn and sighed. She wanted to help the blonde, not make her feel worse. "It's okay. You are safe...with me," she acknowledged, wondering if that was really the truth. "I won't tell anyone else, but I do urge you to take Noah aside and speak with him. The last thing you want is him finding out from somewhere else..." She gave Quinn a pointed look. Her first training session with Puck had been him showing her file after he'd snooped around Dr. Schuester's office. Thankfully, the older telepath had left her more confidential information somewhere more secure.
She slid down the fence and sat beside, the taller girl. "I think she'll be fine. Considering how worried you seem, I don't think you'd leave her to someone you didn't trust to do a good job of raising her. As for whether she'll want to see you..." Rachel shrugged, not really having a solid answer. "I love my parents, but I still wanted to know who my mother was. I think any person in that situation is curious to know where they came from."
She chuckled at the blonde and shook her head. "My problems are much less significant that having a child and giving said child up for adoption," she drew her knees up and rested her hands over them.
"Thank you," Quinn whispered. "It's nice to know that there's someone I can be safe with." She caught Rachel's look and got her point. "Yeah - the Doc knows, and he's kept it from Puck so far, but...you're right. I can't ask him to do that forever. And he really does deserve to know."
Quinn reached out for Rachel's hand before awkwardly moving her hand back to her side. She didn't know if they were ready for that sort of contact. "I didn't arrange it," she shook her head. "I don't know who they are, the people Beth is with now. All I can do is hope." She raised an eyebrow at Rachel's words. "You were adopted too?"
"I doubt they're less significant," she argued. "Just different. And you can tell me if you want to. It'd be nice to have something else to think about for a while."
"You're welcome..." Rachel said softly, nodding her assent at Quinn. "In a sense, yes. My mother was a surrogate so that my fathers could have a child. She was young and had her own dreams so my fathers helped her out in exchange for the chance to have a child." She explained clinically. She didn't need to get emotional over things that would never change.
She rested her chin on her arms and looked out over the school grounds. "I was just thinking about my dads. I haven't seen them in many years. I wonder how they are and if they're okay. Normal stuff," she tried to smile through her explanation, even though she knew her situation was anything but normal.
"So you have two dads, then?" Quinn confirmed. "That's awesome. It's nice that your mother could help them do that. Do you - I mean, did you ever meet her? Ignore me if that's too personal."
Quinn adopted a matching posture - not trying to be mocking, just trying to get comfortable. "Again, stop me if I'm asking stuff you don't want to answer, that's cool. But how come it's been so long? I mean - I haven't seen my parents either, but that's a plus in my case."
Rachel winced slightly at the mention of her mother, but it really wasn't something she felt the need to hide. "I guess it was nice...I did meet her. She didn't want me though. Didn't want to know me. She'd grown up and realized she wanted a baby, not a grown up daughter who had already..." she locked her jaw and stopped speaking. It still hurt to talk about. The reminder that Shelby had wanted an innocent child and not someone who had been through hell and back at the age of ten, still upset her.
The brunette blinked away her tears and forced a smile. "Anyways, it just didn't work out. I haven't been back to see my dads because..." she frowned. What was she supposed to say? That she murdered a bunch of teenagers with her power when she was a kid and even though her family had moved away, it haunted her and them. That she left to protect them from people who would use her to hurt them. That she left to protect them from herself. No, she couldn't say any of that. "It just has never been the right time...Some things are just meant to be." She sighed sadly.
Quinn frowned. "That's just..." she didn't even have the words. "That sucks. I mean, if I ever get a chance to see my daughter, I won't care how old she is. She's mine, you know? Flesh and blood. I'm so sorry that she would ever do that to you, turn her back on you that way. You deserve better, Rachel."
There was clearly more to the story. Quinn was a lot of things, but she wasn't blind. But she was hardly going to try and force anything out of the other girl. "I'm sorry," she did reach out for Rachel's hand this time, hoping it wouldn't drive her away. "I can't imagine how hard that must be for you."
"Well, I'm sure you will get the chance, Quinn. I'm glad you will accept your daughter no matter who she is," Rachel gave Quinn a sad smile. "As for what I deserve..." She laughed a little coldly. "My biological mother not loving me is hardly a punishment."
She felt Quinn grasp her hand and the movement startled her, causing her eyes to lock with the hazel of her companion. The tension and emotion from their conversation got the best of her and she couldn't help the caress she sent through their connection. Realizing what she'd done only moments too late, Rachel jumped back from the blonde and looked to her feet. "Quinn...I..." she clenched her jaw and trembled for a moment.
"I'm so sorry..." she wasn't sure what else to say or do, but she needed to know the other girl was okay.
"I will," Quinn promised, as much to herself as to Rachel. "No matter what." She was about to ask what Rachel meant about her mother, but the shock of the effect when they joined hands and locked eyes knocked the question right out of her head.
In her life, Quinn had known very few caring touches. Her parents, maybe in the distant past before her power had manifested. Doctor Schue, when he caught up to her as she ran from her home, Puck, in their most private moments, and finally her daughter's tiny hands. This was like all of those, and somehow more and different andoverwhelming with the amount of caring it held and the way it touched her. But the way Rachel launched herself backward, it had clearly been inadvertent. Quinn wanted to assure her that it didn't mean anything unless she wanted it to. She wanted to assure her that she was okay. But she had to take a deep breath first, trying to collect herself. She put a hand up in an effort to the other girl from running off before she could.
"Hey, hey," Quinn shook her head when she could think again. "It's okay. Everything's okay. It didn't hurt or anything, it actually felt..." how had it felt? "Nice. I know you didn't mean to - I shouldn't have startled you like that, it was my fault. But nobody got hurt. And it was - nobody's made me feel like that in a long time," she gave Rachel a hesitant smile. "Everything's fine, you don't have to apologize. It's fine." She could feel herself tearing up and cursed her wildly out of control emotions. The caress had felt like something she'd always been missing but never known about, and she wished more than anything that she could ask for another. But she couldn't do that, obviously.
"I didn't know you could do anything like that," she whispered.
Rachel stayed tense and watched Quinn for a moment to make sure the other girl was all right. The connection she had felt to the blonde had been surprising and yet for that brief moment, she'd felt calm. It wasn't asked for nor wanted by Quinn and she felt horrible for her inadvertent action. She normally never linked herself with someone the way she just had with the taller girl. It scared her how volatile her emotions were right now. The brunette needed to keep her distance.
She shook, but leaned against the fence keeping a foot of space between them and her gaze directed somewhere off into the dark night. "I knew that it was on the surface. I should have been more careful. It will not happen again, I promise," she said quickly, her face betraying no emotion. "My gift has many different quirks. I'm quite good at controlling it, but...sometimes when I'm unguarded or intensely emotive I just let go. I apologize again."
Quinn steadied herself with a few more deep breaths. It really was all she could do to keep from asking, from begging to experience that feeling again. But she could hardly could that.
"Rachel, please listen. It's okay. It's not like you hurt me. I know how easy it is to lose control, and it's my fault - I startled you. Please just relax. Everything's okay. I...I think it's pretty cool, honestly. It was a nice feeling."
Rachel vicariously shook her head and clenched her fists. "It isn't okay, Quinn. I can't just take a short tour in people's heads when I'm having a bad day. The world doesn't work like that. It's no wonder that..." she clamped her mouth shut and gritted her teeth, remembering the boys she'd killed, the way her father had looked at her afterwards, her mother rejecting her, and every other subsequent horrid memory.
She clenched her eyes shut and kept her face turned away from the other girl. She needed to calm down or walk away because she was scared of the consequences of not taking one of those two paths. She tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down, digging her nails into her palms so that perhaps the pain would outweigh her agitation.
"Hey, stop," Quinn pleaded. "Just look at me, okay? I'm fine, everything's fine. I'm not saying it's something you should do for fun or anything, but you were surprised into it. And I honestly don't mind - I forgive you, if that helps."
She sighed. "Just breathe with me, okay? Nice and slow. In...and out," she demonstrated the pace she was using. "In...and out."
"I can't look at you, Quinn. You don't want that...I don't want that. I could hurt you...worse than I did before," Rachel shook her head. "I-I need to get away...I can't be around you." She ground her teeth together, trying to breathe to calm herself. She trembled violently and squeezed her eyes together tightly so that she wouldn't accidentally hurt Quinn.
"I trust you," Quinn argued. "Maybe it's stupid, maybe you'll hurt me, but I trust you. I know you're scared right now, that you're afraid - but you need to calm down so you don't hurt someone. Or yourself. And I want to help you." She reached out, no longer hesitant, and took both of Rachel's hands in her own. "Just breathe, okay? Slow, and deep. Just breathe."
Rachel shook her head violently. "Don't! You need to stay away!" she yelled, her body firmly coiled. She gasped as Quinn grabbed her hands and tried to pull away from the contact. "You don't get it! Let me go!" She could feel her emotions bubbling to the surface and she used all of her restraint to hold everything inside. She felt something wet drip down across her lips and she darted her tongue out only to taste the metallic tang of blood. Her body was rebelling against her. She could feel her entire frame trembling violently.
"You...have to let go of me, Quinn..." she hissed through her gritted teeth.
Quinn was suddenly terrified, and torn between letting go and holding on. She realized how very vulnerable she'd made herself, doing something like this without fully understanding - or, if she were honest with herself, understanding at all - how the other girl's power worked. But she was committed to her course of action now, and while she had no idea if it was right, she stuck with it.
"Look at me," she demanded. "Rachel, open your eyes and look at me - whatever you need to do, whatever you need to get out, let it out. If you hurt me then Puck can heal me, just let it out before it hurts you - god, your nose, Rachel, it's bleeding, just let it out! Please!" she didn't relinquish her grip, praying fervently to the god who she'd given up on years ago that she was doing the right thing. And that if it killed her, her baby would be okay.
Rachel knew she could never kill another person and she certainly didn't want to hurt Quinn again. Using the fact that the blonde was touching her, she gently pushed the girl a fair distance away from her. She opened her eyes and looked at the ground, letting go of the restraint and allowing a small shock wave of her power to flow outwards knowing Quinn was safe. Once the power had been released, Rachel felt herself fall to her knees and then to the ground.
Quinn bounced a couple of times as she travelled backward, but as she watched Rachel release what she'd been holding in she knew she should be grateful she wasn't seriously hurt - or worse. She stayed where she was, not sure whether the telepath would be furious with her or not, and not wanting to invade her space again without being asked. "I'm sorry," she spoke loud enough for her voice to cross the distance between them. "I didn't know what to do - I was only trying to help." She looked at the ground, wondering whether her father had been right about her - whether she was just a screw-up that made everyone's lives worse.
She wanted desperately to help Rachel up, at least to a sitting position, but she didn't know if that was okay - she was frozen with indecision, and she hated the feeling. "Can I...do you need a hand up or anything?" she offered lamely. "Sorry. Again."
Rachel saw black around the edges of her vision and tried to push herself up, swaying violently. She managed to use the fence to pull herself up and hold herself for a moment. "I know you were only trying to help me. It isn't your fault. I need to go..." she said, her gait slow as she began to walk back the way she'd come. The brunette had never had to contain her power that way before. Perhaps it was because she wasn't using it as much as she used to or maybe it had something to do with the people she was around. It didn't matter. She couldn't stay at the school and risk killing someone. Not even Puck's healing could bring people back from what she could do to them.
"You need to stay away from me, Fabray," the brunette spoke coldly.
She wanted to help - Rachel looked exhausted, out of it, like she was going to fall over at any moment. But the tone of her voice rooted Quinn to her spot. It was like a punch in the stomach; she'd been deluding herself into thinking she was actually making a friend, someone she could confide in. Knowing she'd clearly misread the situation hurt.
"Okay," she agreed, her gaze directed at the ground. "I'll stay away. I'm sorry."
Rachel felt like complete shit. Not only had she almost killed the blonde, but she had to treat her poorly after the things Quinn had just confessed to her. Hopefully, the girl's friends at the school would take care of her. The brunette dragged herself away trying to regain her strength, knowing she needed to pack her things and leave tonight. She was never meant for a normal existence.
Quinn could have cried - she was close, if she was honest with herself. But after ten minutes of sitting on the cold ground, looking up at the stars and trying to organize her thoughts, she came to a decision. She was Quinn fucking Fabray. She was the Ice Queen. No one around here but the Doc was going to give her orders, and dammit, if Rachel Berry thought she was that easy to walk away from, she was going to find out otherwise. Quinn Fabray walked away from you, not the other way around. Quinn Fabray ordered you to stay away,not the other way around. This wasn't going to stand.
As she continuing towards the dormitories, Rachel had to stop for a few minutes to be sick. The massive pounding in her head was making it difficult to do anything, but she could honestly say she'd been through worse. It was important for her to leave the school in the dead of night when no one would stop her or look for her. Her whole body ached, but she pushed herself onwards to her room.
She sent out a silent apology to the girl she'd left behind. Something about Quinn threw her completely off-kilter and she'd never been on such an emotional roller coaster before. It was safer for the blonde to despise her and avoid her.
It was hard to run, but Quinn forced herself to do it anyway. She needed to catch up with the telepath - something told her she needed to do it soon. She checked the grounds, as best she could in the dark, and came up empty, and finally found herself at Rachel's room - which she only recognized because the door was standing open, where none of the others were.
She pushed it open, aware that she shouldn't startle the other girl, but feeling both desperate and furious in equal measures. "Hey!" she blurted. "What do you think you're doing? Do you think you can make me feel...whatever that was, and then just tell me to walk away? Goddammit, Rachel - I don't make friends, I don't have friends. I'm a terrible person. But you - you made me feel like I could trust you. You're not walking away from me now. I just," she shook her head, "I won't have it!"
Rachel was packing the few things that she owned and trying to stay upright. Her entire body was fighting against her, but she knew she couldn't rest until she left school grounds. Her head was pounding, but her senses were still sharp enough to hear someone coming. When Quinn started yelling at her, she winced and put a hand to her head. "Go away, Quinn. I already apologized and said it would never happen again..." she kept the pain out of her voice, staying completely stoic.
"As for trusting me, I already said I wouldn't say a word. After tonight, you'll never have to worry about that again," she zipped up her bag slowly, trying to shake how faint she felt and blinking the blackness from her vision.
Quinn shook her head. "First of all, I didn't ask you to apologize. That was the nicest thing I've felt since...well, for a long time. It's taken every ounce of self-control I have not to plead for you to do it again." She knew she was bouncing from angry to pleading and all over the emotional spectrum, and she didn't know why she was so invested in this girl, but she knew she needed her around. She'd figure out the how and the why later.
"Second," she lowered her voice, mindful of the way Rachel was wincing, "you need to sit down. Preferably before you fall down. There's no reason for you to run away. I don't think you understood. When I said I don't make friends, I meant..." she swallowed, "before you. I think - I think I could be your friend. I don't," she sighed, "I don't want you to leave." She hated to be this vulnerable, this open, but she hoped it would make a difference. "Please..."
Rachel stared at the bag on her bed, feeling it was safe and inanimate. "I don't know why that happened. I've never connected with someone like that before..." she explained, gripping the handle of her bag tightly. "I can't stay, Quinn. I could have killed you. I can't stay and hurt innocent people. I would think most of the kids here don't even understand how the world works. Most are sheltered and live happy lives behind the walls of this school. They have Dr. Schuester to look after them. What happens when the monster they don't know is living right under their noses?"
She lifted the bag onto her shoulder swaying violently but catching herself. "Please, move out of the doorway. I know you are not this terrible person you try to show everyone else. I know you have issues just like everyone does and you choose to hold them in and cover them with this icy facade you display. Maybe if you warmed to some people, you'd find they'd care more than you think. Now if you'll excuse me," she kept her eyes trained to Quinn's shoes and waited for the girl to step aside.
"You didn't kill me. Even when you were totally out of control, bleeding and shaking, you still had the presence of mind to push me away before you let that power out. You may think you're some kind of monster, Rachel, but you've had lots of chances to hurt me so far, and you haven't."
Quinn planted her feet. "Maybe that's true. I don't know. There's not many people who I've ever felt like I could do that with. But you - you've seen into me. It makes it easier. It means we've already made more progress than I have with pretty much anyone else. And I won't let you walk away. If you want me to move," she swallowed, sending up a silent plea, "you're going to have to move me. Otherwise you're going to lie down and I'll tuck you into bed. And then I'll see you tomorrow."
Rachel stepped towards Quinn. "I will only ask you one more time, Fabray. Please move," she spoke in a deathly quiet tone. She really wanted to avoid using her power again. She didn't honestly know if her body would be able to handle it, but when she was determined she didn't stop until the end.
Anger hadn't worked. Bargaining, reasoning, they had all failed. There was only one avenue left to her, and as much as she loathed doing it, as much as she despised being vulnerable, it was the only other thing she could think of. "Please," she pleaded, stepping partly out of the way to lessen the confrontational feeling. "Please don't go. I...I don't even know what I'm asking, just...please. Don't leave."
Rachel hated hearing the other girl plead. She wished with all of her being that there was something more she could do for Quinn. The only solace she could take in all of this was that at least they'd only known each other a week. Hopefully, the blonde would forget about her soon enough. "I'm sorry, Quinn...truly..." she offered her final apology as she attempted to move past the taller girl.
Damn it to hell. The last card had been played, and she was no closer to the pot than she had been at the beginning. She only had one option left, and it was born of desperation. She no longer knew, or cared, why it was so important that the girl stay. But it was. So she did the only thing she could think of. As Rachel brushed by her, she reached out and, for the second time that evening, grabbed her hand.
Rachel thought she was home free until Quinn reached out and grabbed her hand. With no more strength left, she couldn't stop the connection made between her and the blonde. Before the other girl had a chance to see her memories she tried to sever the link. Her pupils blown, breathing heavy, blood dripping from her nose again, she locked eyes with Quinn and she was sure the other girl saw some of the fights she'd been forced into and felt some of the pain she'd endured.
As the blackness engulfed her, she only hoped that the blonde hadn't felt too much before she was able to stop the connection. Rachel fell forward as she passed out from the strain on her mind and body.
Quinn only barely kept her from hitting the floor - she was reeling, staggered by the force and intensity of the images in her head, the feelings that weren't her own but that gripped her with the same force as if they were. She dragged the passed-out girl toward her bed and fell onto it with her, exhausted from the toll the connection had taken on her.
There was so much pain, she thought. How could one girl, one tiny girl, have experienced so much pain in her short life? For all that Quinn had endured, she still felt sorry for Rachel, because, god, there was so much. She could understand why the girl - wrongly - thought of herself as a monster, but she hadn't begun any of the fights that Quinn saw in her head, she'd been forced into them. She couldn't blame herself - someone had to tell her that it wasn't her fault. But it would have to wait. Quinn couldn't stay conscious any longer. She pulled Rachel further onto the bed, hoping it was enough to keep her from sliding off, and surrendered to the inky blackness that claimed her. Her last thought was a prayer that Rachel wouldn't hate her too much when she woke.