Chapter 7

By the time Monday rolled around, Kankuro had begun to hope that his father would drop the whole family therapy idea.

Such hopes proved unrealistic. His father dismissed the rest of his team after they got back from a trash patrol mission, and kept Kankuro behind.

Temari glanced over her shoulder at Kankuro before she left, clearly thinking Kankuro had gotten in trouble.

Neither Yondaime nor Kankuro bothered to correct her assumption. Kankuro, though, suspected their father wanted to talk to him about something relating to Kankuro's feelings.

"What is it?" Kankuro asked.

"Well…" His father hesitated. "It's really recommended that we engage in family counseling one pair of people at a time. To make it really personal and in depth between us. A private dialogue that other members of the family don't have to see, or have a chance to criticize."

"I think that's wise." Kankuro nodded slowly.

His father shifted uncomfortably.

"So are we going first?" Kankuro asked. "You and me?"

His father nodded. "I think that's best. Don't you?"

"Yeah." Kankuro couldn't say he wasn't disheartened to go, but he understood why it was necessary. His father was just being an adult and trying to do the most responsible thing possible, even if it was the hardest.

He just didn't think a therapist was going to understand him. And he felt uneasy about admitting to someone besides his father that he had these feelings.

But he'd go.

"When?" Kankuro asked.

His father hesitated again. "Today. I got us in with a private practice today. I get off work at four. We'll go over to the therapy building after work."

"Oh." Kankuro tried not to feel sick. His heart started beating harder.

xXx

The therapy office Yondaime had chosen was on the third floor of an office building. Kankuro could read from the large Information sign inside the door on the ground floor that the office building rented suites to all sorts of different businesses. Consulting services of some kind.

His father stopped in front of the information sign with him and squeezed his shoulder. "We're third floor, suite 113," he said, tracing the entry with a finger so that Kankuro could pick it out of the list. "After the Storm Therapeutic Health Services."

That name didn't make Kankuro feel any better. "Okay." The lunch he'd eaten while waiting for his father to get off work sat uneasily in his stomach. "We have an appointment?"

"Yes," Yondaime said simply. He directed Kankuro down the hallway, past a pair of elevator doors, and up two flights of stairs.

Kankuro wasn't surprised that they avoided the elevator. His father hated elevators. He could still remember his father's explanation, almost word for word. 'Enclosed little boxes hanging from strings are much harder to get out of in case of emergency than having access to a stairwell or a window,' his father had said. 'Elevators are for civilians.'

Kankuro couldn't exactly disagree. He wasn't a big fan of elevators, either. They lurched too much; first up, and then down. Did people really have to design something that missed the mark it was shooting for every time and have to compensate by lowering back down a few feet?

They reached the shiny glass door for suite 113 the old fashioned way, read the name painted on the door – After the Storm, in cursive-like katakana – and went inside. His father opened the door and ushered him in first, leaving Kankuro with no doubts as to whether or not he could escape.

The waiting room was a subdued collection of slate blue and maroon, with a dark navy blue carpet. There were upholstered chairs in rows to sit in, either slate blue or maroon in color, with maple arm rests. A reception area at the front of the room looked like any other medical reception desk: a long desk that seated receptionists in a row of three, behind a glass sheet with windows cut into it to mark the booths.

Yondaime approached while Kankuro stood in the middle of the room with his hands in his pockets. He spoke quietly and respectfully to the receptionist, a woman in her twenties with long brown hair.

She nodded and bade them to sit down.

Yondaime sat.

Kankuro stood by his father's chair. There was no way he could sit down in this uncomfortably unfamiliar place. Besides, they were only five minutes early. If this place operated on time, he'd just have to jump up again in five minutes.

His father didn't comment on his choice to stand.

A woman with long blonde hair opened the door that led back into the therapy offices. She stood in the doorway, holding a clipboard in one hand. She was tall, for a woman; two inches taller than Yondaime. Her uniform was a fitted white coat like a cross between a martial arts coat and a doctor's coat. "Yondaime-sama and Kankuro-dono?"

The question was automatic, since they were in her line of sight, and were the only people in the waiting room.

Yondaime stood. "Yes."

Kankuro just crossed his arms and nodded. She's not so intimidating, I guess. It didn't bother him that she was taller than both him and his father.

She bowed. "My name is Yuna. I am a family counselor who specializes in conflict resolution."

"Conflict resolution?" Kankuro asked.

"Yes," Yuna said. "That means that I help families work out their differences." She gestured, intertwining her fingers and smiling. "Please, come this way." She turned around, holding the door open for them, and led them down the hall. "My office is around the corner to the left. You'll see it; it's marked Peace Room, 115. Yuna."

Kankuro and Yondaime nodded.

Kankuro had to admit there was something calming about this therapist's demeanor. He already felt less threatened to be here.

Yuna opened the door to her office and stood aside. "You may enter first, Yondaime-sama, Kankuro-dono."

They did so. She followed them in and closed the door gently. It latched with a small click.

"Please be seated." She gestured at the room. There were three seats to choose from, all of them blocky upholstered chairs. One of them was dark brown, one was maroon, and the final one was slate blue. They were clustered in a loose triangular formation around a kotatsu table. In the far corner was a small desk made of dark wood, with an office chair behind it. There was a book case against the near wall, and a tall cabinet with a potted plant perched on top of it. All in all it was an average, mild-to-boring room.

Kankuro and Yondaime took the two chairs side by side, leaving the isolated dark brown chair for the therapist. Yondaime took the maroon chair, Kankuro the slate blue. Kankuro's chair was to the left of his father's.

Yuna crossed the room and sat down, resting her clip board on her lap.

"I am not in a position to judge you," she said. "Only guide you. My foremost loyalty is to my clients, not some institution. I am a resource for you. No one else is going to know what we speak of. Jutsus make sure of that." She gestured with one hand. "This information is not going to leave this room."

Kankuro swallowed and took a deep breath. This is it. He looked to his father.

His father took a deep breath as well. "Well, Yuna-san, our problem is thus."

Kankuro squirmed during his father's breakdown of their encounters over the past week, starting with the kiss at the office.

"And what would be your concerns?" Yuna asked. She looked from one to the other. "You mentioned you had a lengthy talk about the psychological ramifications of what was going on. What was your main conclusion based on this talk?"

The first thing they did was bring up the issue of Genetic Sexual Attraction. Both of them explained how they felt. When they'd drained their anxiety and spoken their minds, they both sat back and waited for the therapist's response.

"I appreciate the research you and your son have done and the concerns you may have." She looked from one to the other. "But your son's reported feelings, and your own, do not meet the criteria for GSA."

Yondaime opened his mouth.

She held up a hand.

He shut his mouth again and meekly waited.

"GSA is a real phenomenon, one experienced by about fifty percent of reuniting family members," Yuna said. "This happens because of purely instinctive sexual drives as a result of puberty. When family members do not experience puberty around each other, and then meet, Genetic Sexual Attraction can happen. This is because the appearance of the person in their mature form has not been normalized. In other words, they meet each other for the first time as two adults. Genetics takes over, and one or both people are overcome by a sense of attraction; a visceral approval of that person's worthiness as a sex partner."

Kankuro listened to this explanation numbly. "That's not me," he said finally, when he realized the therapist was done speaking.

She nodded, looking at him sympathetically. "I know."

"And what we've gone through doesn't sound like that at all," Yondaime said. "I was there when Kankuro was experiencing his changes. I was the one who walked him through all of that. I was never absent from his development. He was still in the Academy at that point. We were very close. I did everything I could to make his passage into adulthood an easy one."

"You did," Kankuro said. "It was very easy. I didn't feel embarrassed at all – in front of you. At school they were horrible, but what else could they be? They were all going through the same thing, and everyone says puberty makes you crazy. Everybody in my class was cranky and mean about it."

"I'm sorry you were bullied," his father said. He swallowed. "I still wish you would have let me put a stop to it."

"You made me feel better when I got home," Kankuro said. "We always talked about it. You never ignored how I was feeling. And using your position to squelch any of the bullies would have resulted in resentful parents. You know I didn't want anyone using you for target practice. You have enough problems already."

Yuna listened to them talk, and then chose this break in the conversation to speak. She addressed Yondaime. "The main concern you are feeling in this situation is that you may have groomed Kankuro to take Karura's place."

"Yes," Yondaime said fervently, seeming relieved that she brought it up. "That is a definite yes. I am concerned about that. Very much so. I don't trust myself. Not at all."

She nodded and gestured to Kankuro. "First of all, let's ask your son: Do you feel groomed?"

"No," Kankuro said immediately.

"Alright," she said. "So if it's happened, it hasn't been obvious. Correct?"

Yondaime nodded slowly, his gaze dropping as he thought about that.

Kankuro sighed, and then nodded as well. He crossed one leg over the other. "Yeah. I guess. But I don't think I've been groomed or enmeshed or abused at all. I feel like we have a good, healthy relationship, except my father is sad all the time and won't let me help with anything."

"Sadness and depression are difficult things to help someone with," Yuna said. "I don't blame you for not being able to help, or for Yondaime-sama's unwillingness to let you try. It's a complicated topic best tackled through therapy."

"Which I will go to," Yondaime said. "I am through running."

"But you will need family support," she said. She pointed to Kankuro. "Your son should support you during this difficult time. But with structure."

Yuna said to Kankuro, "I recommend you go to at least one session for depression counseling with your father, so that you learn what you can do to support him and promote a full recovery. There are things you can do to help him manage his depression."

Kankuro was relieved. He'd been afraid the therapist would automatically shut him down and make him leave his father alone to deal with the misery in solitude. "I will." He gave his father a soft smile. "Of course I will go to therapy with you and support you. I'm here, aren't I?"

Yondaime nodded slowly. "But what about this grooming business? Did I or did I not damage my son by molding him to be Karura's replacement?"

"That is something we're going to have to discuss," Yuna said. She shot a look at Kankuro and clarified, "We have to put your concerns at rest if you are ever going to get any peace."

"Yes," Yondaime said, relieved. "I need to know." He closed his eyes and bowed his head. Then he took a deep breath and looked at them both. "I need to know so that I can fix it if I have done anything wrong."

"First, let me define what child grooming is," the therapist said.

"Please," Kankuro said. "I'm not sure I'm clear on that." He hadn't even thought about researching that topic. The best clue he had was what his father kept saying, which was that it was about somehow brainwashing a kid to be a parent's replacement spouse.

"Child grooming is the process of gaining a child's trust in order to prepare them for abuse," Yuna said. "Most commonly sexual. This involves gaining the trust of the caregivers of the child, befriending the child and setting oneself up as an unconditionally loving, special friend, and then gradually introducing sexual elements into the relationship until the child is desensitized."

Kankuro felt his stomach lurch. He glanced at his father. His father appeared horrified and disgusted. So it's not exactly what he thought it was.

The therapist seemed unmoved by their responses. "So, I would like to ask you some questions, Yondaime-sama."

Yondaime nodded. "Okay." His voice was hoarse.

"Kankuro is now a legal adult…" the therapist started.

Kankuro and Yondaime both nodded.

"But when he was a minor, did you in any way expose him to sexual themes or images for the purpose of arousing him?"

That question sank in Kankuro's stomach like a brick. "Guh. No."

Yondaime shook his head.

"Did you give him presents or enticements in order to manipulate him into touching you inappropriately?" the therapist asked.

"No," Kankuro said.

Yondaime glanced at his son, then answered the therapist himself. "I did not. There was no inappropriate touching."

"Did you ever initiate a game or introduce a game that would facilitate opportunities to touch your son inappropriately?" the therapist asked.

"No," Yondaime said, decisively.

"Did you touch him inappropriately during sparring sessions or during bath times, bed times, helping your son get dressed, et cetera?" the therapist asked.

"No." Yondaime shook his head.

"Definitely not," Kankuro added. He was angry at the questions, even though he knew their necessity.

"Did you ever expose yourself around your son, perhaps in the context of comparing his developing body to your own? Do you allow your son full privacy when bathing and using the bathroom?"

"I don't expose myself around my children, have never 'measured' their development by sight, and do, in fact, enforce privacy rules about the bathroom," Yondaime said.

"When your son was young enough to climb into bed with you at night, did you ever fondle him, hug him, encourage nudity, kiss his body, or do tickling below the waist?" the therapist asked.

Kankuro was horrified.

"No, I did not," his father said, looking sickened as well.

The therapist shrugged, as calm as ever. "Then you have nothing to worry about. You did nothing to groom Kankuro or encourage him to think of you sexually, even subconsciously. You were appropriate in every way around your son."

Yondaime relaxed back in his chair, only to tense up again and look at Kankuro uneasily. "Then why is he like this?"

"I believe the answer to that question lies with Kankuro," Yuna said simply. She gestured to Kankuro. "I suggest that we ask him for answers to this phenomenon."

Yondaime nodded slowly. "I have asked him about this before…we've attempted to discuss…but…" He took a deep breath and admitted, "I was resistant. I did not really want to hear it, fearing that I had damaged him in some way, and that I was responsible."

Kankuro knew that, of course. He wasn't surprised to hear his father say it; however, it was gratifying to hear his father admit it. "Yeah, I know. You put up a lot of resistance and didn't really let me speak my feelings because you were afraid to hear them. You didn't wanna know how I felt because you felt like it meant you'd messed up."

Yondaime nodded. He gave Kankuro a tired, sad look. "I'm sorry, son. I'm through running. I'll listen to everything you have to tell me about these feelings. I should be listening to you. I am your father. I need to be there for you and do the things that others won't. Or can't. I have unique responsibilities to you, and I need to honor them."

"Very well put," Yuna said. She took a deep breath. "However, you cannot carry this burden alone. That is why I would like you both to come in for weekly sessions to discuss Kankuro's sexual feelings towards you and what your feelings are in return."

Kankuro watched his father blanch. "In return?" Yondaime asked weakly.

"Yes." Yuna gestured with a frown. "Your feelings in return are just as important as Kankuro's feelings in the first place. We cannot allow either side of this discussion to dominate. Instead, this exchange of feelings must be equal."

Yondaime wilted.

"There is no reason to be embarrassed," the therapist said gently. "This is family therapy. Not 'Kankuro therapy'."

"I get that," Yondaime said, sounding remarkably like his son for an instant. Then he straightened and visibly gathered his courage. "I will talk about my feelings. Of course I will."

"You didn't expect that, did you?" Kankuro said wryly. "Yuna-san's going to lay down the law."

His father flushed.

Yuna smiled. "Kankuro, please don't taunt your father. Feelings are difficult for all of us. Especially your father's generation or earlier. Your generation is being encouraged like never before to share your feelings. In the old days, feelings among shinobi were discouraged, to the degree that shows of emotion, emotional displays as simple as smiling, were sometimes beaten out of shinobi children. Please do not underestimate how difficult feelings are to talk about for Yondaime-sama."

Kankuro's smile faded. He looked at his father with sympathy, thinking back to the abuse they'd already discussed at home. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like I don't know it's hard. I do. The things that happened to you were hard; and it's hard to talk about them and other things. You'll always be my dad, and I'll always love you, no matter what you do. Please don't be sad thinking I could never understand you. I will. We just need to talk more."

"What about it?" Yuna asked Yondaime quietly.

Yondaime nodded slowly. His shoulders slumped. "I'll do everything I can to honor your requests, Kankuro. I'll talk whenever it is necessary to…explain my feelings, to you."

"That would be all the time," Kankuro said. "I always want to know what you're feeling."

That statement hung in the room for a moment.

"I think this is a good start," Yuna said. She stood. "Please come back and see me next week." She bowed. "I will arrange a time with your office, Kazekage-sama."

Yondaime stood as well. "That will be fine."

"What about me?" Kankuro protested mildly. He got the hint that the session was over, and stood up too.

His father gave him a slight smile. "I will, of course, see that this appointment does not come into conflict with your missions."

Kankuro smiled wryly. "Right…Cause you control that kind of thing. Thanks, Kazekage-Dad."

Yondaime snorted and looked at his son in amusement. "What…"

Yuna laughed and covered her hand with her mouth.

Kankuro grinned. "Just thought I would lighten the mood a little bit."

"A sense of humor is very important for a recovery from these sorts of things," Yuna said, gesturing with her pen. "I would advise that you keep your sense of humor about you."

Kankuro bowed theatrically. "Will do."

"Yes," his father said, giving him a fond smile. "He will assuredly do that."

Kankuro wanted to give his father a hug, but he was too self-conscious around their new therapist. He crossed the space between them and playfully linked arms, instead. "See ya, then. I guess it's goodbye until next week."

"I'll walk you out," Yuna said.

She walked them as far as the waiting room, and then bid them farewell with a final bow.

They walked from there out of the waiting room, down the hall, and down two flights of stairs to the ground floor, where they exited the building.