Chibs Telford was out of his element. His shock of snowy hair and ever-present kutte looked strange against the oversized beige couch. Tara watched him try to get comfortable, but it looked as if his nerves were as exposed and raw as Tara's were. Jax walked into the room with a fresh cup of coffee, and as he placed it front of his old friend, the Scot's dark eyes registered relief. Carefully, he grabbed the oversized mug and sipped it slowly, reveling in the warmth.
Jax sat by Tara on the matching loveseat. Tara could feel her husband trembling, and a wave of sympathy welled up in her chest. She reached out and laced her fingers through his, and he glanced at her with a slight, wary smile. They then turned their eyes towards the living ghost of SAMCRO. Chibs took a breath, set the coffee cup down, and tremulously smiled.
"Thank you, Brother," he shakily warbled as he nodded at the coffee. A hint of cream and sugar lingered on his tongue. Chibs was amazed that Jax still knew that two creams and two sugars made a perfect cup of coffee. Some things never change.
"You're welcome," Jax returned. Chibs sighed and opened his mouth to speak. Tears filmed over his eyes, and unashamed, he let them fall. I thought I'd never see you again, Jax. He felt as though his heart was lodged in his thoat.
"What are you doing here, Chibs?" Tara asked. Chibs jaggedly exhaled. With Tara breaking the silence, Chibs' heartbeat slowed, and a strange sense of calm filled him.
"We're happy to see you, Brother," Jax interjected. "But you know our situation. I hope this isn't a you-just-missed-us kind of thing. As much as we miss you, having you in our house is something we'd never imagined happening." Chibs nodded in complete understanding.
"I wish it were that kinda visit," Chibs quietly stated. He rubbed his hands on his black jeans. It was a nervous gesture. "I wouldna put yer family in danger for my heartbreak. Even if I'd thought about it ova and ova again ova the last eighteen years."
"So what could be so important that you crash back into our lives?" Tara's voice had more edge than she intended. Jax clutched her hand. Chibs bit his lower lip. Tara was amazed at how time had aged her old friend. The salt and pepper hair was now shimmering white, and his dark eyes crinkled even though he wasn't smiling. He'd run to the lean, so his wiry frame was even thinner than Tara remembered. You're an old man, Filip Telford. It's something I'd never imagined you to be.
"Trinity is dead," Chibs announced with no preamble. Tara stiffened as Jax tightened his grasp on her hand. She looked over at her husband. Tears misted his eyes, and his lips trembled, but he didn't cry. She could hear his teeth grinding as she turned her gaze back to Chibs.
"What happened?" Tara asked. She knew if Jax opened his mouth, he'd dissolve into a puddle of tears. It was better for her to ask the questions right now.
"They're rulin' it a suicide," Chibs stated. Again, Tara winced at Jax's grip. "But I dinna believe it. Neither does Maureen."
Maureen Ashby. The name reverberated in Tara's soul. She'd never met John Teller's paramour, but she definitely felt the aftershocks of her truth. Tara's mind immediately went to memories that were over twenty years old. Jax was in prison. Tara initially believed the letters had been found by mistake, but over the years, she'd realized it was fate that brought John Teller's love letters to her. The consequences of reading still haunted her, but she knew that if she had it to do all over again, she would. Jax needed the truth.
"Trinity would have never—" Jax stammered. Images of his half-sister were branded on his brain. Pale copper hair. Ophelia's hair. Pale blue eyes. Fair skin. Jax's daughter was like his sister in so many ways. Jax knew he'd never see her again, but knowing that she was gone was more than he bargained for. Chibs nodded.
"Aye, I know," the Scot replied. "Maureen knows too. That's why she came to me. She thinks the Kings are involved somehow, and they came after her because she was a Teller."
Tara's eyes went back to Jax. He sat back. For a moment, Tara saw a glimmer of SAMCRO in his face. It was the way his jaw tightened and his lips thinned. It was the flash of his sky blue eyes, then the slight snarl that came with fury. Jax's grip loosened on her hand, and Tara began to panic. She was watching him turn, right before her eyes. The Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde complex was her husband's burgeoning fury. Nausea churned in her gut.
"What does that have to do with us?" Tara's voice edged on hysteria. "Why would you come here now? For all intents and purposes, everyone but you, Althea Jarry, Tyne Patterson, and the WitSec program think we're dead."
Chibs smile was cynical as he looked down. Jax understood immediately.
"They know we're alive don't they?" Jax murmured. Chibs looked up and met Teller's eyes. Chibs didn't have to answer aloud. Jax already knew.
It was now Tara's turn to tremble as reality flooded her. Her lips quivered as she began to cry. Terrified, she stood and walked towards the kitchen. Jax followed her and grabbed her arm. Tara stopped dead in her tracks. Her hazel eyes were a movie, replaying all the pain that plagued their lives in SAMCRO. A knot formed in Jax's throat as scene after scene played in his mind.
The lead pipe seemed to scream as it hit Opie's skull. Jax's heart hammered in his earsas his eyes slammed shut. Clay's blood poured from his throat. Tara. Oh God, Tara, no…Blood splattered kitchen walls came alive in vivid color. His eyes took in the scene all over again, as the recollection of carnage became real. Gemma. A bullet between her eyes. Every coffin came into clear view as he struggled with his emotions. Every headstone bashed his skull in. When he opened his eyes, he realized his shirt was soaked with tears.
"They knew we are alive, Chibs?" Tara questioned now. "How?"
"I dunno Tara," Chibs responded.
"How did you find us?" she asked. She pulled her arm from Jax's grasp and hugged herself. She felt cold, despite her robe. Sunlight still poured through the windows of their home, and warmth diffused the space, but Tara couldn't stop shivering. Jax moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her. Instinctively, she pulled away. All the pain and heartache of SAMCRO raced in through her, and as much as it hurt to pull away, she needed to do it to preserve her sanity. Jax's eyes ached as she pulled from him.
"I shouldna hae come," Chibs said. He stood from his position on the couch. Immediately, Tara stiffened, and her eyes flashed with righteous anger. She stalked towards the older man and stood before him. Her face was mere centimeters from his.
"You shouldn't have come?" she said through gritted teeth. "You've got some fucking nerve, Chibs Telford. You're in my house. Not by invitation. Not by request. You just fucking show up and give us news like this and not expect questions in return? What the fuck do you expect to accomplish? You obviously want Jax to come back to Charming, or your ass wouldn't be here."
"Tara, stop," Jax warned. Tara wouldn't be deterred. She saw the dangerous fire that sparked in Chibs' eyes, but she didn't care.
"How did you find us, Chibs?" she asked. "I deserve to know. You wouldn't be here if you didn't think we were in danger, I get that. But I don't get why you wouldn't tell me how you knew. It doesn't make sense. You drove cross-country to find us. You didn't think about the danger then, so why now?"
"You're right, Tara," Chibs acquiesced. "But get something straight. The minute Maureen came to Charming, I knew exactly what was going on. I knew the Kings were looking for you. I knew Trinity didn't die by her own hand, and to me, that meant they were going to do whatever it took to find you, Jax, and the kids. I have no intention asking you to come back to Charming. That life is long gone. I'll find Trinity's killer. I only came to you to warn you of the danger. That's all."
"Then tell us how you got here," Jax requested. "How did you find us?"
"Althea," Chibs answered. The slight, dark haired, dark eyed sheriff still loomed fresh in his memory. He remembered how much Chibs detested her.
"Jarry helped you?" Jax asked. "I think she would rather been set on file first. She wouldn't betray her job for the MC, much less you. You hate her, and I'm pretty sure that she hates you just as much."
"Circumstances change, brother," Chibs said. "You've been gone eighteen years. That's a long time."
Tara's eyes narrowed as she took Chibs' words in. She watched as the old man's face softened. His dark eyes spoke volumes, even if his words were drenched in double entondres.
"She's your old lady," Tara whispered. Chibs' eyes lowered as a blush diffused his cheeks. Had Tara not been so angry, she might have laughed at the biker's discomfort.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Jax said with a mix of shock, annoyance, and admiration. "Jarry? How the fuck does that work? She's a sheriff for Chrissake!"
"No one knows," Chibs returned. "Aside from Bobby and Tig, no one knows she's my old lady. We try to keep it separate, but honestly, we've been helping each other to improve Charming. It's not the place it was when you left it. We struck alliances with the One-Niners and the Mayans. We work together now."
"How fucking Kum By Yah of you," Tara snapped. She wasn't buying it. Gangs were gangs. It never changed. "I don't believe that for a second. MCs always need an enemy. Always."
Chibs coldly grinned, and the old scars on his face stretched with the smile.
"Does the name August Marks mean anything to you, Tara?" he asked. Tara shivered with his words. August Marks. The gangster. Jax Teller's sacrificial lamb. He was their way out. He was the man that Jax turned in to save them. Chibs laughed low at Tara's obvious discomfort. "I see that it does. He's been running shit from that jail cell. His men are all over Stockton and Charming. That and the Irish Kings are what we battle against."
"Fucking the sheriff is a perk, then?" Tara questioned. Jax's eyebrows raised. Where is this woman coming from? Gone was the Tara of just an hour ago. In her place was an infuriated woman he didn't know. She'd all but disappeared over the last eighteen years. If your life isn't threatened every single day, you begin to feel safe.
"Aye," Chibs replied without hesitation. "Best piece of ass I've eva had."
The sound of laughter filled the room. Tara turned and saw Jax almost giggling. Unable to help himself, Chibs joined in. Only Tara remained stone faced. The laughter quickly died off. Silently, Tara walked to the loveseat and sat. Both her heart and her body sank, and she buried her face in her hands. She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. She knew she was in shock. Eighteen years gone down the drain. All the sacrifice was meaningless.
She felt the couch sink. Jax was by her side again.
"So where do we go from here?" she heard him ask. She looked up. Chibs was now back on the couch, openly staring at them. She hadn't felt this hollow in a long time. All the hard work and the secret and the outright lies were for nothing.
"I'm gonna stick in the area for a couple of days. See what I can find out. See if the Kings know what's going on. Jarry has alerted WitSec and the local sheriff's office, so they are aware of what's going on. If it proves a credible threat, they may have to move ye."
"That can't fucking happen," Tara said. "Abel is getting married in two weeks. Tommy is graduating college, and the twin are graduating high school before that. They're adults now. We can't force them to leave without telling them why. I can't have Abel leave his bride, nor can I have Tommy and the girls put their educations on hold."
"They dinna know that yer Witness Protection?" Chibs asked. Both Tara and Jax shook their heads in the negative.
"It was better that way," Jax responded. "We couldn't risk anyone knowing anything. We didn't want to teach the kids to lie either." Chibs nodded in response. Their logic made sense. It boggled his mind to think of Abel being a man, much less a husband. Tommy was graduating college, and the twins were graduating high school. Time moves too goddamned fast.
"I'm gonna ask again," Tara said. "Where do we go from here?"
Chibs inhaled deeply. "Keep doing what you're doing. Don't deviate from your normal routine. WitSec will be watching you, as will the sheriffs and I. Until we figure out what's going on, just do what you need to do."
Yeah, it's that simple. Tara silently yelled. It would've been better if you never came, Chibs. At least then, if the Irish were to kill us, I wouldn't be living in fear every day prior to my demise.
"And the graduations? The wedding?" Jax asked.
"Don't stop them," Chibs instructed. "If the Kings are watching, ye canna let them know that we know. If ye cancel the wedding, then they'll know you're onto them."
Tara shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe this is happening."
"Do ye wanna tell the kids, Tara?" Chibs questioned. His eyes were cold and unreadable. Fire rose in her belly. She didn't know what she should do. Part of her wanted to grab the kids and run, but they were adults, and that wouldn't fly. The other part of her wanted to hop of the back of Jax's bike and go after the bastards that threatened her happiness. Just like the old days.
"Of course not," she snapped back. "But that doesn't mean I have to accept what's going on."
Jax stared at his wife. He couldn't imagine the jumble of emotions that ran through her. The club did its damage to him, but the damage it did to Tara was a completely different issue altogether. After Abel's kidnapping, her hand injury, Otto framing her for murder, and multiple attempts on her life, there was no reason for her to ever want to turn back. They'd escaped it, moved past it, and went beyond it. To the outside world, Jax and Tara no longer existed. They were dead. The fact that Chibs Telford sat across from her brought that past very much to life again, and she was on the verge of losing her mind over it.
"It's not Chibs' fault, babe," Jax whispered. Slowly, he grabbed her hand. "He's trying to protect us."
Tara's eyes flooded, and her lips trembled. Without warning, she simply broke down into tears. Sob after sob tore through her as all the memories she buried came alive again.
"You can't go back, Jax," she cried. Chibs' heart shattered by watching her. He stood and sat on her other side. "I can't do this again. I just can't."
"I not asking ye to come back, lass," Chibs said low. "I just dinna want anything to happen to ye. Yer kids have grown up, and they're doing amazing things. I dinna want to jeopardize them at all. That's why I'm here. I want to stop the Kings in their tracks."
Tara nodded, but she didn't speak. She couldn't bear opening her mouth. All she could do is cry at the memories. Jax held her and rocked her gently. He placed pensive kisses on her brow. Tara leaned into him, just like she always did.
"I should go," Chibs whispered. He stood and walked towards the door.
"Chibs!" Tara called as he walked away. He stopped and turned, and by then Tara had shook Jax off and stood. Tara walked to him. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her face was tear-stained, but every move showed remorse. "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. You've just scared the hell out of me. I'm sorry for being hateful, but I am scared to death. I don't want to go backwards. I didn't come this far to go back now."
Chibs nodded in understanding, and he gathered Tara in his arms. It amazed him at how nothing changed. She was still like a little sister to him, just as Jax was his brother. He felt her hard, aching breath rise and fall against him. His heart broke for her. She broke away gently, and she stared up at him.
"You're staying a couple of days?" she asked him.
"Or longer," Chibs replied. "Depends on the sheriff here. It also depends on the Kings."
"You think you'd want come to a wedding?" Tara asked. She glanced over at Jax, who smiled broadly. Chibs' eyes narrowed. One minute she hates me, the next she's inviting me to her son's wedding. He shook his head. I dinna understand women. I dinna think I eva will. One glance at Jax told him that he was in complete agreement. Still, staying in the middle-of-nowhere-North Carolina wasn't a tempting prospect. Being around Jax and Tara was the only reason he'd enjoy this time.
"We'll see, Tara," Jax said. "We'd really have to figure out how this wild, crazy Scot fits into the lives of Eric and Elizabeth Morgan. We're not Jax and Tara anymore. I know you want to make amends for your mean words, but Chibs being at Abel's wedding may not be the way to do it."
Tara looked down. "What insanity has come over us, Jax?" she whispered. "I never thought Jax and Tara would ever see the light of day again. Now, Chibs is here, and I feel like there's a small part of me that could fall right back into our old life. There is part of me that longs for Charming, even now." Jax's eyes widened with that declaration. "I just can't go back. I know what I am when I am there, and it's not good."
"Then why do ye want me at Abel's wedding, Tara?" It was a valid question. Tara's eyes were pained as she opened her mouth to answer.
"You're family Chibs," she answered. "You're here. Jax and I never thought we'd see you again. I want you there. I can't explain why. I just feel like you're here for a reason, and you need to be there."
"I'll think about it, lass." Chibs kissed her forehead. Jax stood and hugged him. When they broke apart, Chibs was amazed to see the soft wrinkles that lined Jax's face. He'd never imagined Teller as an old man, but since he'd just passed his sixty-first birthday, he knew that age caught everyone. He now considered age a privilege denied to many. Instead of hating it, he embraced it, but it was still weird to see Jax Teller as the father of adult kids.
"I'm gonna go," Chibs said.
"I'll walk you out," Jax stated. He glanced over his shoulder at Tara. He knew that work wouldn't be on the agenda today. He'd call the shop and say he was spending time with his wife. Maybe a couple of days off, just enough to process Chibs' arrival, would be enough to get things on track. They needed to be whole in order to stay safe. Yes, time off would be perfect. They'd lock themselves up in their room and remind one another exactly who they were, and they would emerge stronger and better.
Chibs swung the door open and stepped outside. Jax followed, shutting the door carefully behind him. Now alone, without Tara's scared and manic energy, the men looked at one another. There was so much to say, so much to go over.
"I'm sorry for coming, Jackie Boy," Chibs stated.
"Don't be," Jax responded. "I missed the hell out of you, Brother. The circumstances aren't what I would've wanted. I hate that my sister's death is what brought you here. I can't imagine what Maureen is going through."
"It's bad Jackson," Chibs said. "She's a shell of her former self. Trinity was everything to her."
"She doesn't know that you're—"
"No. Everyone thinks I'm in Nevada, visiting some other SAMCRO chapters. Only Althea knows where I am." Jax nodded.
"Well, no matter what, I'm glad you're here," Jax said. Chibs smiled sadly. They embraced one last time.
"I think we're gonna be here for a couple of days. Try to process everything," Jax explained. "Do you have a burner?" Chibs nodded. "Take my number." Chibs took out the phone, and Jax threw numbers out. "I'll know it's you."
"I'll call ye as soon as I know anything, Jackie Boy," Chibs murmured. The men embraced again. Once they pulled away from one another, Chibs walked towards his shiny black Harley. Jax didn't move. He watched as his dearest friend straddled the bike and cranked it. The sound of pipes booming to life struck a chord within him. As Chibs sped away, the dormant part of his soul slowly woke and boomed to life. In a matter of a couple of hours, his life had now gone from normal to messy, but he welcomed it. For the first time in eighteen years, Jax Teller felt completely alive.
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