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WitFit Jan/Feb 2013

90's Sex, drugs and rock-n-roll

Word Prompts: Pillow

-PoM-

Something caressed the small of my back, feather-light but warm, and I surfaced gradually from a deep slumber into dull, grey light. Rain slashed at the windows, a steady drumbeat of sound that made me want to curl back into my pillow.

But the hands caressing me awake didn't pause; they moved up my side and around to my breasts, slipped around my ribcage and tugged me gently until I was on my back.

"Am I dreaming?" I mumbled, closing my eyes again and moving closer to his warmth.

"Mmm, Hope not."

Lips grazed my shoulder, across my collar bone and up my neck.

"Oh, that's nice."

"Open those eyes, beautiful girl."

I did, squinting until his face came into focus above mine. "Morning. Sleep well?"

"I always do when you're next to me." He dipped down, raining kisses onto the skin of my neck.

"Such a charmer when you want to be," I said, and then gave up on going back to sleep.

I moved my hands to his neck and pulled his lips back to mine, loving the way he moved until he was cradled between my thighs. The shirt of his I'd slept in was discarded after a few minutes, and then we were skin on skin.

Sex with Edward was always good—sometimes fast and powerful, sometimes teasing and fun—but morning sex was my favorite. He was sweet when he woke up, more apt to spend time building me up with lips and tongue and fingers, and I inevitably felt closer to him than at any other time.

His lips stayed on mine, fingers dancing below to tempt me. I groaned and tipped my head back, closing my eyes at the onslaught of emotions that mixed so perfectly to the way he made me feel physically.

"You look so good in my bed," he said close to my ear. "I'm going to think about how you look right now every night while I'm gone."

His words added fuel to the fire-lit nerves; made the momentary thought that I wasn't ready for him to go yet hurt for the smallest second. But then his fingers curled in just the right way and I was lost to thoughts beside that I wanted him right now.

I wrapped my leg around his back, scooting down until we were lined up and he slid over me.

"I need you," I said, wrapping my hand around him and guiding him inside.

And then all was perfect and his hands were in my hair, open lips panting hot little breaths against my cheek, scruffy jaw scratching the skin there on each thrust of his body into mine. My hand clutched at his pectoral muscle, felt the unsteady racing of his pulse against my palm.

He wrapped his hand around my wrist, keeping it there.

His heartbeat was my heartbeat. His breaths fed mine, filled my lungs with something that had no proper words until I passed it back to him so he could feel how perfect we were, too.

Languorous passes brought him ever closer to me until my hand lay crushed between us, until there was only a slow grind of bodies and hips, until I whispered my love and fell apart. When he came it was with his head buried in my hair, words indecipherable because they were spaced unevenly and muffled. I wrapped my arms around his back when he shifted to move away, wanting his weight for just a while longer.

He had to go, and I knew that. Most times I was even okay with it because I knew he would come back to me always, but this morning I didn't want to let go just yet.

"I'm going to miss this."

I hummed, kissed his sweat-slicked chest. "Me too. I'm so used to you being there when I wake up . . . it's different this time."

"Yeah, but it'll be over before we know it." He wrapped his fingers around my hands, pulling them off and sitting back. He stared at me, smiled. "Look at you, so pretty in our bed. See, I told you this would be perfect."

"Yeah, yeah." I made no attempt to cover up. "You're such a sap in the morning."

He ran his hands over my bent knees. "Something about you brings it out in me."

"Mmhmm. I think you just want me to make you pancakes now."

"Well, there's always that." He sighed, bent down to kiss my cheek, and then swung his leg over the bed, walking to the dresser to grab a pair of pajama pants. "Much as I hate to say it, you need to get out of bed. Lots of stuff to do today."

I sat up, pulling the fluffy comforter around me. Now that he wasn't near, I was cold in this drafty old house.

It was a great house, though—lots of woodwork and big windows and in a location similar to Jasper's. It felt normal, easy, and safe—something I'd need when he was gone on the road. We'd been here for barely two weeks, lucking out on a shortlisted sale because the previous owner had died and her family wanted to sell it fast. It was just enough time for us to play house before he was set to go on the road again, buy a couple of things to make it feel more homey.

"What time do you have to leave?"

"Got all day. Jasper and Rose are taking care of everything for tonight, so all I have left to do is pack. I figured I'd spend the day with you. Fix that cabinet that doesn't close, and you know, get you off a few more times."

"For that you get pancakes and bacon."

-PoM-

"Where are you guys at tonight?"

I tucked the phone under my ear and headed to the kitchen. There was a stack of dishes that I'd been neglecting in order to write a paper this week. Edward called nightly, after every show or when they had a break, and we usually talked until one of us fell asleep.

I wasn't kidding myself in thinking the separations would always be this easy, but it gave me hope that they wouldn't be near as bad as before.

"San Jose," he said. "It was a good show, but the audience wasn't that big."

"Eh, you can't win everyone. When do you leave?"

"We've got two days before we need to be at the next gig, so we're staying here tomorrow. I'm glad, though because I need some fucking sleep."

"Yeah, I thought you sounded wiped. Oh, hey, I painted the kitchen earlier."

There was the sound of a lighter, his slow inhale and exhale. "Really? What color? It's not something ridiculous and girly is it?"

I scoffed. "No. It's a sage green color." Picked out because it reminded me of his eyes . . .

"Okay, I'm a guy. I don't know all those fancy names for colors. What scale of light to dark does that fall under?"

I rolled my eyes and turned the faucet on, waiting for it to warm up. The water took forever to warm up in our house. "It's a lightish color. Sort of dusty."

"There you go losing me again. But I'm sure it looks nice, baby."

"It does," I laughed. "Goes well with the cabinets."

"I'll have to trust your judgment on that."

"How are things going? Besides the being tired and small crowd tonight, I mean?"

"Well, I'm still sober. And we had a meeting earlier."

"What about?" My hands went through the motions of washing crusted over plates, and for once I was glad he wasn't here right now to tease me about that. Not when I got on his case so often for slovenly housekeeping.

"We're going to do a show when we get back home," he said. "This is our first time out without . . . Ty, and it's taking some getting used to. Ben threw the idea of a free show out there, sort of like a tribute-slash-homecoming show to wrap the tour up. Like a memorial but not so depressing."

My eyes watered and I sat down the plate I was washing to wipe them. "Oh, that sounds perfect. He'd get a kick out of that."

"Probably. Little fucker loved a free show."

-PoM-

Over the next couple weeks, plans were set and then changed for the show in Seattle. It started off as something small at a club they used to play, but once word got out it grew. Other bands, some Ty had jammed with, some who'd just known of him, wanted to be a part of the bill and it quickly morphed into a full-fledged concert. Thank god for Rose, who could organize a hurricane if she had to—she oversaw the details from the road, making new plans every time something changed. I'd offered my help because I was in town when she wasn't, but besides running copies of flyers, she didn't need much from me.

The free show idea was dropped, sadly, but Rose and the rest of the band were able to talk everyone in to a low cover charge with proceeds going toward local homeless programs for kids and teens. Ty had it rough growing up—his mother, nice as she was, hadn't always been stable and his father was long gone—and had been on his own several times as a teen, so it only seemed fitting.

The venue was moved to the Moore Theater, and news of the concert became the buzz at my office.

The day before the band and Rose were due back, I stopped by Peter's office to see if he needed full coverage of the event.

"No, I'm sending someone else."

Because of my connection to the band, I had assumed the gig would be mine. I opened my mouth to protest—I could do a great writeup on the legwork needed to get this thing going and get interviews backstage that wouldn't be typical—but he laughed and shook his head.

"I already know what you're going to say, and it won't change things. You deserve a night off to just enjoy the show, remember your friend and share it with the others. Besides, I'm taking this one."

"One: thanks. Two: I see how you are. Baby's finally getting some sleep time in so you're going to call in a sitter and take Charlotte out. Which, three: it's about time, bossman. You haven't gone to a show in forever."

He grinned, unrepentant. "With all these bands showing up like they are? It's the hottest ticket in town."

I puffed up a little at that. Tyler would have been so stoked to be a part of something so cool.

"Well, I guess I'll see you there."

"Count on it."

-PoM-

It was the end of a long night, one filled with great music and covers of songs Tyler had loved. The first three bands had brought their all, with members from each of the other bands coming out to jam together. Edward even came out and joined the original Vertical Fish line up—lacking James, who, in a fit of temperamental rage, had left the band to start a 'solo' career—rocking on one of their best songs to date.

Edward had been by my side during the rest of it, though, quiet tonight and stoic. It was easy for me to see that he was relieved at how well everything was going, but I also knew how much he wished this night hadn't been needed.

Now I stood at the back of the theater waiting for the band's set.

The energy in the theater was amped to the ceiling, floating around me in excited buzzes and screams when mic checks started ringing out over the speakers. The crowd was beautiful, young and old, all excited faces and pure enjoyment. Music was so universal, so easy to share no matter who you were.

Someone bumped into me and I turned to see who it was. "Sorry, I'm in the way—Oh, hey, Jess."

She threw her arms around my shoulders, hugging me with all of her drunken might. "What are you doing over here? I thought you'd be backstage!"

"I usually watch from back there . . . but I wanted to see it from out front tonight." It seemed fitting, somehow.

"Are you on press credentials?"

"Nah, just here as a fan."

She nodded, stumbled on her platform sandals, and giggled. "Whoops. These drinks are strong. This is so cool! I've never seen your boyfriend's band, but I love their album. I can't wait to see them live. You're so lucky."

I smiled at her words, slippery and exaggerated as they were, and realized it was the first time I'd talked to her outside of work. She was just as nice away from the office as she was there, and I said, "Yeah, I am. I get to see them whenever I want to."

The lights dropped then, crowd going so crazy it was impossible to talk to Jessica. She went just as wild, hands going to her mouth and producing a loud whistle I'd always wanted to learn how to do.

The beginning notes of a song—the first one, in fact, that I'd ever heard them play—filled the dark theater; a blue light landed on the spot Tyler had always owned, and then Edward's voice was rising above the slow, melodic guitar riffs.

It was haunting, gorgeous, and I didn't worry about wiping the tears from my eyes when the lights kicked in with the beat and Leah stepped into a spot just adjacent to where Ty would have stood.

It was the first single released from the album, and the crowd sang it back to the stage. My voice joined in, and I loved how in tune everyone was. I knew that wherever Tyler was, he was nodding his head along, too.

"Wow!" Jessica screamed when the guitar solo was up and Jasper stalked the front of the stage. "Bella, Edward's like, super cute. And he's always so nice when he calls to talk to you. It must be so cool to have a boyfriend in a band."

For the most part, it was. It wasn't what I'd imagined my life would be a year and a half ago, and there had certainly been times when I didn't know if I could handle the stress, but I also wouldn't have it any other way. Because being in a band was Edward's dream and it made him happy, and I'd learned that love was sharing the ups and downs, sharing the happy and the sad.

He was a part of me, and I him.

~The End~

-PoM-

There will be an epilogue posted in a few days. Thank you so much for every last word of praise and encouragement you've sent me. This has been an incredible ride. xo

Set List

Blow Up The Ouside World - Soundgarden
Would – Alice in Chains
Porch – Pearl Jam
Burden In My Hand – Soundgarden
State of Love and Trust – Pearl Jam
Deep – Pearl Jam
Tyler – Toadies
Say Hello 2 Heaven – Temple of the Dog
Release – Pearl Jam

*Thank you Nic for giving me hours of your time to bounce tunes and ideas around and for giggling with me like no one should. xoxoxo