Rachel made it to the bus terminal completely exhausted. She quickly made her way to the bathroom to wash the blood from her nose and eyes, but unfortunately the red pools had taken over the bottom portion of her sclera. It looked like someone had jumped her and punched her in the face a few times with how sunken her features were along with the blood in her eyes. Thankfully, the telepath had thought to bring sunglasses to cover her less than appealing visage. Once she felt she had cleaned up enough, she took two painkillers from her bag and popped them in her mouth. Her skull was pounding and though she knew it would take more than some medication to feel back to normal, the pills were better than nothing.
She stepped out of the washroom and walked to the ticket booth. Hating what she was about to do, she sighed and walked forward. Linking to the booth operator's mind easily, she had the man print her a ticket and quickly released him removing the memory of her ever being there from his mind. She felt awful for using her power that way, but she figured in the end she was heading back to the place where she needed to repent for all of her crimes. Using her power had placed more strain on her body, but thankfully the amount of power hadn't caused anymore external bleeding. Rachel moved to a seat close to the board that would let her know when her bus had arrived.
She flopped down in the chair with a sigh, happy to be off her feet and give her body a chance to rest. The telepath knew she wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. Her mind was still plagued by visions of the boys she'd killed and their words of malice. She also didn't trust herself not to have an outburst of power if she fell into a nightmare during her sleep. She refused to hurt anyone else again. She could deal with her own pain and fatigue. Once she got home, maybe she wouldn't ever have to worry again. It took a few minutes, but she curled up on the chair and fell into a light rest. It wasn't really sleep, but not full wakefulness either. Her mind was attuned to hearing the arrival of her bus number as she sank into the chair.
Quinn was quickly discovering how difficult it was to actually get anywhere when you had no money and no connections. She'd tried to get the guy running the booth to give her a ticket to somewhere - anywhere - but even her best sob story hadn't been enough. She'd been approached by some sleazy looking guy who'd offered to buy her a ticket in exchange for, well, his offer had been to get her a ride if she gave him a ride. She turned that down, and he moved on to the next vulnerable-looking girl he could find.
She'd curled up on a chair and fallen asleep for the night - no one had bothered her, which was the most amazing part in her mind. She'd spent Friday looking for another way out of town, and spent her last few dollars on a coffee while she wrote Puck her cowardly goodbye letter, and finally returned to the station in the evening in the hopes of finding a more sympathetic ticket agent. She was sure she was dreaming when she saw a familiar face among the crowd. She knew the danger of sneaking up on Rachel Berry by now, so she fell into a seat a couple down from her and spoke her name - loud enough to be heard, but hopefully not enough to scare her.
"Rachel," she tried. "Hey."
Rachel felt the buzz under her skin and in her head, but she ignored it. She figured it was just the ache of having overused her ability and now she was paying the price. The light doze she was in felt better than the acute constant pounding of her headache when she was fully alert. She heard her name being called by a familiar voice and ventured opening her eyes to look over. "Hmmm...?" she moaned, grimacing as she opened her eyes to a fresh wave of nausea and heavy pain in her skull. Even with sunglasses on, the light still bothered her. "Quinn...?"
"Yeah," Quinn confirmed quietly. Rachel didn't seem well, and she didn't want to be overly loud. "Yeah, it's me." Her anger and bitterness about the way their friendship had ended just didn't seem important anymore. They were both here, and they were both alone. "Are you okay? I'd offer to go buy you a drink or some aspirin or something, but I think they usually want you to pay for that stuff."
Rachel looked at Quinn. Other than seeming to be a little frazzled, she was no worse for wear. It made her relax a little knowing the other girl was relatively okay. "I'm...fine. I took some painkillers a few minutes ago," she frowned, had it been a few minutes? She couldn't really tell. She slowly tilted her head to look that the board, relieved that she hadn't missed her bus yet. "Do...you need something?" She was a little concerned. She had her power to help get her home, even if it hurt like a bitch right now. If Quinn had no money, how was she going to get where she needed to go?
"Not to sound like a bitch," Quinn worked hard to keep from raising her voice at all. She didn't know exactly what was wrong, but Rachel was clearly in pain, "but you don't look fine. You kinda look like you got hit by a truck, actually."
She shook her head in answer to the other question. "No. I'll be fine - I can probably get a few bucks for my phone if I need to. I just came over because-" why had she come over? She wasn't totally sure. "Because I thought it'd be nice to have a chance to talk before you left." The pinprick of tears at the back of her eyes surprised her and annoyed her all at the same time. "Where are you headed?"
Rachel offered a half-smile at Quinn's remark. "I'm just a little worn down. This hasn't been...the best week," she said softly. She now knew what the buzzing was, but thankfully her mind and body were too tired to be on high alert and she didn't think she'd have to worry about accidentally establishing a link. The brunette frowned at her companion's explanation for money. "Do you need a ticket somewhere...?" She didn't exactly want Quinn to leave, but obviously they were no longer friends. She'd read the letter and felt guilty enough. Maybe helping the blonde find her way to some other place would help lift the weight slightly. After all, this whole trip was about making amends and she might never get the chance again considering what waited for her in her hometown.
"It's good to see that you are all right. I'm sorry you felt the need to leave the school..." she sighed. "I'm headed home. I haven't been in a long time and I figure I'm due for a visit."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Quinn said, completely honestly. "Is there anything I can do?" She frowned a little at Rachel's offer. "I don't even know where I'd go," she admitted. "I don't have any plan at all, really. And I don't expect charity from you, in any case."
"It's fine, I just," she stopped and pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling slowly to keep from crying. "There's nothing there for me. Noah's never going to look at me the same way again, and the only friend I thought I'd made...well..." she looked away. She hadn't meant to lay this at Rachel's feet. It wasn't her fault.
"Are you," she tried instead, "going to see your dads?"
Rachel shrugged. "I'm not the only one who's had a shitty time of it. As for helping, I definitely don't think you can help me with my problems. I'm finding the solution for them though," she quirked her mouth slightly. "It wouldn't be charity. If you don't have a plan, why leave?" She tilted her head curiously at Quinn.
"I know you may think that Noah has some ill will towards you, but you're completely mistaken. He loves you quite a great deal," she explained, remembering the surface memory she had seen of the two of them. "I'm actually quite surprised you left considering...I figured..." She sighed and shrugged loosely, not finishing the thought. She had figured the blonde wanted Puck the same way since she had seen them so intimate in that memory.
"Am I...?" she straightened up for a second before sliding into a tight smile. "Yeah, something like that..."
"That doesn't mean you don't deserve sympathy," Quinn protested with a frown. "I'm sorry there's nothing I can do, all the same. I wish I could make things better for you." She frowned again. "Yeah, it really would. And why...because I wanted to be anywhere but there, if that makes any sense."
"He might," she agreed, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket, "but not like he thinks he does. And I can't ever...we're not ever going to be in that same place we were. Before all this. I see him, and it's like - I want my baby. There with us. And that's never going to happen. I just want to move on."
She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a genius, but I know when I'm being lied to. What's going on, Rachel? Where are you really going? And why? Why are you leaving?"
"I don't...not yours or anyone else," Rachel stated darkly. "It's kind of you to say. You should go back though. At least until you're on your feet enough to move on. No one will hurt you there..." She almost laughed at her own statement. 'At least not anymore...' she thought.
The telepath sighed and sat up, figuring she should at least look alert whether she felt it or not. "Either way, he cares and he hurts. Perhaps you can heal together. Whether you are close or far apart, you'll always be connected. You may wish to move on, but it seems you're more inclined to run away. Running away solves nothing. Believe me..." She knew from experience. It was biting her back now.
"I am going home. I wasn't lying. I don't know if I'll get to see my fathers or not, but I have some things I need to...put right. It's finally time for me to do so..." she smiled sadly at the blonde.
"Don't say that," Quinn sighed. "Everybody's done bad things, that doesn't mean they don't deserve sympathy. "And it's not a matter of being hurt - it's a matter of not wanting to be there. Doctor Schue thinks I'm some kind of slut that corrupted his kid, I ruined their relationship, and I just need to be somewhere without so many memories. No matter where that is."
"Just because we're connected doesn't mean I don't hurt him by being there. At least this way he can get past me, get over me, whatever. And I'm good at running away. It's kind of a speciality of mine. Even if it hurts, at least it's a different kind of hurt."
"I really don't like the sound of what you're telling me," Quinn sighed. "Rachel, if you're going to do something that will hurt you - you have to stop punishing yourself for whatever happened in your past. Going back, retracing old wounds, it's not going to help anything. Trust me - going back doesn't work. At all."
Rachel shook her head and then winced at the pain it caused. "The things I've done aren't just things that can be forgiven with an apology, Quinn..." she said, rubbing her forehead. "Doctor Schuester seems all right to me, but then I haven't had much interaction with him barring the original meeting to go to McKinley. I doubt he thinks that of you. You said he was the one who helped you when you were pregnant and confided in him." She smiled tentatively.
"Look, I'll give you a little hint that most people don't know. Being a telepath gives you insight into people. Sometimes it's unwanted or accidental. I've learned a lot over the years trying to control my ability. He'll never stop loving you. Whether you're face to face with him or thousands of miles away. If you want to turn your relationship into something not dominated by pain and hurt, you need to work at it. Talk things though, yell, fight, do whatever you need to do. Eventually, you'll move past the pain and things will be all right. Whether they are romantic or platonic," she said, running her hand through her hair. "I'm not punishing myself, Quinn. I couldn't possibly make things right that way. I need to atone for the things I did. I see that now..."
'Funny how it took a couple of bullies and a day without my ability to figure that out,' she thought with a sardonic smile. When you have nothing to hide behind anymore, the skeletons come bursting out of your closet.
"Whatever you've done, Rachel, whether those things are easy to forgive or not, it still doesn't mean you don't deserve sympathy, because you're obviously suffering." She sighed - she didn't want to fight. It was the opposite of why she'd come to talk to the brunette. "Yeah," she agreed, "but I'm pretty sure now that he only did that to get me out of the way."
"Maybe you're right," Quinn acknowledged, her voice a hoarse whisper. "But I'm not strong enough for that. I can't...I just can't." Her head snapped up at Rachel's words. "Wait - what bullies? What happened to you?"
Rachel just nodded at Quinn's words. "I want you to waste sympathy on someone like me, Quinn..." she said softly. "Well, you seem pretty sure of the way a lot of people feel. Are you telepathic as well and just haven't told me?" She raised an eyebrow along with her question that could be seen above the frames of her glasses. "You can only do what you feel you're ready for. I just hope things work out for you..."
She froze at the blonde's outburst and groaned. She must have connected with Quinn without knowing it. Why do you always do things without my say so around Quinn you stupid brain!? she yelled at herself internally, cutting the link. "Nothing happened. They locked me in the shed and left me alone with my memories. It was...sobering..." she sighed and rubbed her arms to comfort herself.
"Nothing would be 'wasted' on you, Rachel. I know you don't think much of yourself, but I think a lot of you." She blushed a little at the admission, but it was true - she wasn't going to take it back. She gave Rachel her best glare. "No, I'm not telepathic. But I know how people look at me. And I hope they do too," she sighed.
"Jesus," she whispered. "Rachel - god, I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I'd never have said those things in my letter if I knew," she started to cry, feeling horribly ashamed of herself. "But you can't - they're just ignorant assholes, Rachel, and whatever they did isn't some sort of divine sign that you should go home and get punished or atone or whatever, it's just assholes being assholes. Rachel, please...don't let them do this to you." She buried her face in her hands, feeling like complete shit.
Rachel looked at Quinn quizzically. She didn't understand why the blonde seemed to have so much faith in her. "Well, Fabray, sometimes you need to dig deeper than just what you see," she smirked slightly. When the other girl began to cry, she wasn't sure what to do. She awkwardly leaned over to rub Quinn's back gently. "Don't...don't cry, Quinn. It's fine. It's not your fault, okay?" she tried to soothe her friend. "What they did wasn't the problem. What I've done is. I relived some things. Things that I've tried to forget. The reasons I had to leave in the first place..."
She tried to block the images from her mind, but she was tired and she just didn't have the energy. "I'm not the person you seem to think I am, Fabray. Like I said, sometimes you need to dig under the surface. In my case, you won't like what you find." Her voice turned cold at the admission and she pulled away from the blonde.
"Well, not all of us are telepaths," Quinn gave her a ghost of a smile. "The surface is the best we can do." She appreciated the contact, but it didn't stop her tears. "Yeah, it is my fault. I should have asked, not just assumed that you were being rude. I'm so stupid."
When Rachel pulled away, Quinn gave her the most fearsome look she could manage with tears still drying on her cheeks. "Listen to me. Whatever you may have done in the past, it doesn't change who you are. I've seen you try. I've seen you keep yourself from killing me, no matter how easy it might have been. I've seen you sacrifice your own health to keep me safe. So don't tell me you're some kind of horrible monster, because I don't believe it!" she hissed. "You want me to look deeper? Show me!" she dared the brunette, offering a hand. "Show me!"
Rachel frowned and pursed her lips. "It's not your fault, Quinn. I was being rude. I just...I was dealing with a lot of stuff. Like you said, you're not a telepath and even if you were, I wouldn't have let you read me," she growled out in frustration. Why was Quinn always so insistent on these things? She reeled back slightly at the blonde's ferocity, but stood her ground. "No. I'm not showing you what I've done, Quinn. Whether you believe me or not," she stated coldly.
"It's not being rude if you're recovering from trauma," Quinn shook her head. "Even if you couldn't tell me what that trauma was, it still doesn't give me the right to judge you for being rude without knowing the facts."
She kept her hand held out. "Rachel Berry," she growled - she was invested in this now, and she wasn't backing down. "You have two choices right now. You can give me your fucking hand and let me see what you think you need to atone for, or you can use your power and knock me down. Because one way or the other, I get what I want." She stood, leaving her bag of possessions in the seat, and stood expectantly in front of the other girl. "Choice is yours."
Rachel watched Quinn stand and shrunk back. "No...Quinn. I can't..." she shook her head. She wasn't strong enough to fight the blonde, but it would hurt to have to see it all again. To make that connection with her as weak as she was, wouldn't end well for either of them. "You don't want this, Fabray...just sit down." She looked everywhere but at the taller, angry girl already knowing that this wasn't going to end in her favor.
"Rachel," Quinn lowered her voice and crouched down in front of her. "Look - I don't know if you can stop me from doing what I want right now. Even if you can't, I'd rather not reach out and touch you without your permission. What I want is for you to reach out and take my hand, and stop telling me what I want. What I want is for us to go through whatever memory haunts you so much, so I can see what you think you need to atone for. Please," she kept her voice soft and held her hand out. "I'm begging you, Rachel. Let me do this with you."
Rachel looked at Quinn, really taking in her appearance since her mind was so frazzled. "You look so different, Quinn. You cut your hair and colored it...Pink, huh? It quite suits you," she said, almost reaching out to feel it but remembering herself for a moment and stopping. She was stalling for time and she knew it, but the memories and feelings she held within were not for anyone else to have to experience. The pink-haired girl in front of her had already carried so much weight. Enough that Quinn had felt her only escape was leaving the safety of the school. How could she justifiably allow her to take on more? No. She wasn't a case of pity that her friend needed to support. She needed to be steadfast. "You look kind of like a cute gangster," she shrugged with a half-smile, still changing the topic of conversation and hoping it worked.
Quinn reached up with the hand she wasn't holding out and ran it through her hair. "Thank you. It felt like I needed something to symbolize my new start." She laughed a little, caught by surprise. "A cute gangster? I don't know whether to laugh or hit you."
Her voice dropped nearly to a whisper. "Please just take my hand, Rachel. You know that I'll beg if I need to. But just - please let me do this. I know that you think you need to - I don't know, that you need to be punished, to suffer, but you don't have to do it alone. Let me share it with you. Please."
Rachel displayed a genuine smile. "Well, good luck on your new start. I know how hard it is to start from the beginning again," she nodded. "I'd rather you laugh. I'm not really in the mood to be punched right now." She stared at Quinn through the darkened lenses of her glasses. "You can keep asking, Quinn...you can beg, but I'm not putting you through that. I can't..." she shook her head. It would be too much. She wouldn't be able to control it and the other girl didn't know what she was asking. Rachel wasn't that selfish.
"So are you planning on stealing a motorcycle and joining a biker gang too?" she asked, trying again to steer the conversation away from her memories. She was adamant in not giving in. She wouldn't be able to stop Quinn if she physically tried, she was too weak but she hoped that her friend would drop it. Maybe the pink-haired girl would realize she really didn't want what was being asked.
"Thank you," Quinn nodded. "I hope it works out - although I guess it'll work better when I figure out what the hell it is I'm doing. And it's a deal, I won't punch you," she smiled. She ignored Rachel's protests, beginning to sense that there was no hope of getting through to her via conversation and that something more drastic might be required. "Well," she kept her voice light, "I would look good on a bike. But I think I'd need a few years in the gym before I could steal one from a biker. Maybe they'd accept me as a trainee and let me ride a Vespa or something."
She sent up a silent prayer that someday Rachel would forgive her for what she was about to do. Quickly - too quickly, she hoped, for Rachel to discern her intent - she leaned in and put a hand on her too-warm forehead, and braced for the inevitable connection.
"You're most welcome, Quinn. And thank you," Rachel smiled and released a short laugh. Listening to her friend take about being a biker made her forget her troubles for a few moments. "You would look good on a bike, but I think it's best to take things slow." She chuckled and relaxed, looking to the board for her bus again. As Quinn moved in, she turned and saw the movement coming but her dulled reflexes and weakened senses prevented her from dodging the touch. She quickly tried to bring her hand up to grab the other girl's, but she felt her power buzzing.
"No..." she cried weakly, gritting her teeth. Due to her lethargic state and her own will of trying to stop the transfer of memories, the images of her past played out like an old slideshow. The visions flicked rapidly from Rachel to Quinn as the brunette tried to hold them back. The pain for her was intense as she felt her energy diminish as she fought against the tide of memories. Her nose began to bleed again and she felt the warm, viscous tears begin to run from her eyes leaking down her cheeks past her glasses. With a groan, everything began to fade out. The memories stopped and she tipped forward against Quinn's chest.
Her fingers intertwined with the other girl and she felt the only thing keeping her from oblivion was the connection she still shared with the taller girl. She was feeding off Quinn's own energy. Rachel had never been so mentally and physically exhausted. If Quinn released her, she wasn't sure what would happen at this point. "Don't...let go," she whispered brokenly. She could feel herself in some kind of fugue state, but she had no energy left to pull out at this point. Her connection with Quinn was keeping her afloat.
She'd braced herself, but the flood of memories still hit her like a truck. She was overwhelmed by all of them, but she held on tight. She wanted to understand the other girl, to share her pain, to even take it on herself if she could, and no matter how much it hurt that's what she was going to do. When Rachel began to bleed she gasped, but she interlaced her fingers with the other girl's and held on tight. Her head was pounding, there were bright lights flashing behind her eyes, and she could feel sobs bursting out of her that she couldn't control.
"I'm not letting go," she swore. "God," her teeth clenched involuntarily. "You poor girl," she whispered. "You poor, broken girl - you didn't really grow up thinking all of that was your fault, did you? How could you ever think that? They were going to kill him. And you were a child, who wanted to save her daddy. Rachel, it's not your fault! You certainly don't deserve to be punished for it! God," she whispered again. "So much pain. Rachel, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you've had to carry this alone. I'm not letting go, though. Not now, and not ever, okay?" Her free arm wrapped around Rachel and pulled her close. "I'm right here with you."
Rachel took a threaded breath and released it against Quinn. Her yes were closed. Everything was black anyways, she figured it would take time to recuperate. "I'm a murderer..." she said weakly, not really able to do much but stay leaning against the other girl. "I don't think I'm going to be able to move for a little while. Just...just don't let go of my hand..." She trembled violently in Quinn's arms.
"You're not," Quinn whispered. "You have so much pain in you, you've taken so much into yourself, but it wasn't your fault. You wouldn't do it again, knowing what you know now, but when it happened it wasn't your fault. You're not some cold-blooded killer, you were just a scared child." She held Rachel against her. "I'm not letting go, Rach, just hold onto me. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not letting go. Stay with me, be here with me. I'll take care of you."
Rachel tried to squeeze Quinn's hand but it only ended up a half-hearted attempt. "Everything hurts...I thought if I went home...maybe it would stop hurting. It could finally all be over," she breathed out quietly. Her whole body throbbed, but her head most of all. The pounding in her skull almost blocked everything else out. She was actually glad of her impaired vision. If she had been able to see, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it. She already felt nauseous enough. More stimuli would only make things worse. "I'm sorry, Quinn. I couldn't stop it. I was too weak. You shouldn't have had to see that...you're so fucking stubborn..." She groaned as a jolt of pain shot through her.
Quinn squeezed back, giving Rachel a smile that she couldn't see. "It won't help," she promised, "if there's one thing I know, it's that going back won't help. And having it all over isn't an answer. Dealing with it is." She hugged Rachel more tightly. "Don't be sorry. As you mentioned, I am really fucking stubborn. I wanted to see. I wanted to help. Let me help. Let me do anything I can for you." She stroked Rachel's hair, trying to soothe her as best she could. "What can I do? What can I do to make it hurt less? Not - not your memories, we'll get to that, but the physical pain. How can I help it?"
Rachel chuckled but grimaced as the movement caused pain. "When did you get so wise, Fabray?" she asked with a hint of mirth. "I don't know what you can do for me, Quinn. I've never been so exhausted. I've only ever gone through this once but it was never as bad. I've been running on no food and no sleep for the past few days. The constant use of my ability...I don't know. The only reason I'm talking right now is because of you." She wasn't sure of anything at the moment. The last time she'd used her power to the point of exhaustion was when she'd defended herself against a telekinetic a year ago and she'd ended up the victor. It had taken her a couple of days to feel fully back to normal; however, she hadn't come to the point of needing to feed off of someone else.
"Right now...you're the only thing keeping grounded. Our connection is letting me use your energy, but...I don't know. I've never been like this before. If you let me go...I don't really know what will happen. The brain is like a computer. If it completely loses its charge..." she didn't finish the sentence. "I can't keep you here though. You need to make a new start and you've already done more than enough for me. You can take my ticket. It'll get you far enough away from here. It's on my left coat pocket."
"It's the hair dye," Quinn chuckled. "It supercharged my brain." She rocked Rachel a little as she listened, and clucked her tongue when she suggested Quinn leave her there. "Don't be dumb," she said gently, keeping the sting out of her words. "I'm not leaving. I'm not risking anything bad happening to you, and I'm not letting your charge run out. We're going to sit here for as long as we need to until you feel like you can move, and then we're going to find a place to lie down. I can't afford a hotel room or anything, but we'll find somewhere. We'll stay there until you're completely recharged, and then we'll figure out what our next step is."
Rachel huffed for a moment. "I resent that remark, Quinn Fabray," she frowned against the other girl. "I most likely just need rest. The good news is that I don't dream when I'm so blindly exhausted, but I don't exactly have money either. My power isn't an option either, obviously." She sighed and tried to move slightly, pushing lightly off of Quinn only to fall back against her. "This is highly frustrating...I'm sure it is for you as well considering you're stuck with me right now. I deeply apologize, Quinn..."
"I'm sure you do," Quinn laughed softly, wincing at the pain it caused. "I'm not stuck with you, Rachel. I chose to be here, I continue to choose to be here with you. I want to help. I want to be," she opened up as best she could, "I want to be part of your life, if you'll let me. But again, that discussion can wait. For now, come with me. There's got to be somebody that'll give me fifty bucks for a working iPhone. Then we'll go get a room." She kissed the top of Rachel's head, a comforting gesture rather than an intimate one.
"Do you think you can walk? As long as you lean on me, and I hold your hand? I promise we won't go far, just the nearest motel."
"Okay, okay, you stubborn mule," Rachel said as lightly as possible. "You don't need to sell your phone. Besides, you might need it. We can refund the bus ticket at the counter. We'll get more than enough for it. The bus doesn't arrive for another little while I think so we still have enough time." She used Quinn's assistance to stand and leaned heavily against the taller girl. She trusted Quinn to be her eyes and dug through her pocket for the ticket, holding it out for the other girl to take.
"That's me," Quinn agreed with a little smile. "Well, that sounds like a better plan anyway." She held Rachel upright as best she could as she took the ticket, and then led her carefully to the counter, making sure to never stop the skin-on-skin contact they shared. She traded in the ticket, trying to ignore the creepy stare of the attendant at the sight of two girls holding hands, and quickly counted the money. "You were right," she whispered, leading Rachel away toward the exit of the station. "It's more than enough. Come on, we'll find a place close by."
If she was honest with herself, Quinn was close to sobbing with relief. Rachel was still here, she wasn't forcing Quinn to leave, and she even had the opportunity to help her. That was all she'd been hoping for and more when she'd seen the other girl in the station. "Are you okay to walk there now," she asked softly, squeezing Rachel's hand, "or do you need to sit for a few minutes first?"
Rachel breathed deeply as she felt Quinn guiding her out of the terminal and back towards the ticket counter. She stayed quiet as her friend completed the refund and though she felt slightly bad that she hadn't paid for the ticket in the first place, this was kind of an emergency. "Rachel Berry is always right. You should figure this out. It'll save you frustration in the future," she said smugly, resting against Quinn. "I'm okay..." She really just wanted to not have to be latching onto her companion like some telepathic vampire. It wasn't right and Rachel already felt guilty enough for everything else. "Let's keep going. I trust you to lead the way."
"I'll keep that in mind," Quinn smirked, even as she tightened her grip. "I'll have go get you to make all my decisions for me from now on, then." The brunette was incredibly frustrating, but Quinn couldn't imagine life without her anymore. She wanted nothing more than to stay at her side, help her through the unimaginable pain she'd felt in the other girl's memories.
"Okay," she murmured, not wanting to risk hurting Rachel's head by speaking too loudly. "Come on, then. It's a straight walk to the door, there's nothing in our way. I'll guide you. I swear I won't let anything hurt you."
"I don't believe I am the best decision maker, Quinn. You're the one helping me, remember?" Rachel released a sad chuckle and shook her head gently against Quinn's neck. "I trust you..." She surprised herself by saying those words, but she knew they were true. Quinn was helping her. Saving her life, most likely. The other girl was looking after her with no motive or reasoning behind it. There would always be something about Quinn that prompted her to lower her defenses. Plus there was the strange connection that she couldn't seem to prevent each time they were in the presence of one another.
"Well, you're letting me help you," Quinn grinned. "That seems like a good decision to me." She felt Rachel lean on her and held her as tightly as she could. "I'm so grateful that you do, Rachel, I just - I can't even tell you what that means to me. Because I trust you too, implicitly." She couldn't have explained why that was so, but it was. Looking after her, taking care of her, felt like the most natural thing in the world. She hoped she'd never have to stop. They pushed through the door into the cool air, and Quinn picked a random direction. It was a train station - they couldn't be far from a place to stay, no matter which way they went.
Rachel grunted at the response. "I didn't exactly have much choice in the matter, did I?" she stated blandly, but underneath the sarcasm was a layer of warmth. "I don't know why you trust me after everything I've done and the things you've seen..." As they moved out into the fresh air, she felt a shiver run down her body and another wave of fatigue washed over her. She clung to Quinn a bit more tightly and allowed the other girl to lead her down the street. Hopefully rest wouldn't be too far behind. Even with borrowing Quinn's energy slightly, her emergency defense mechanism would only last so long. Eventually the connection would weaken and sever and she'd...be lost.
"No," Quinn shook her head, smiling, "you really didn't. And I trust you, Rachel, because I know the person you are. I've seen the person you were and all the horrible things she went through, but that's not you. Not anymore. You've come so far, and I just wish you could see it."
She felt Rachel shiver and pulled her closer. "C'mon," she urged, "let's get you inside, okay?" She saw a buzzing neon sign in the evening light. "There," she said. "There's one. It's going to be gross, but it'll have a bed." She led Rachel inside, carefully navigating the lobby and negotating for a full night from a manager who was clearly expecting them to book the room for an hour. "This way," she led Rachel into a rickety elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. "We're almost there, okay, sweetheart?" the term of endearment slipped out without her notice. "Almost there."
Rachel wanted to cry, but she didn't even have the energy for that anymore. Besides, she wasn't even sure she could cry natural tears anymore. She'd never shared her past before. It was too horrible. The way she had lived had simply been about survival. Then she'd met Quinn and everything had turned upside down. She'd never been so out of control as she was around the natural blonde. Thinking about it now, she wasn't sure if it was a control issue or something else. She was too tired to wonder.
At Quinn's insistence, she grumped her acknowledgement against her friend and let the motion push her body along. "Thank you..." she whispered out, not really able to say much more. The brunette felt her body trembling from the strain and her grip around the other girl loosened slightly.
Quinn hadn't had a chance to think long enough to be scared yet, but the elevator ride gave her pause. She didn't know what to do anymore, how to help except to be there for her friend. She could only hope it was enough. She felt Rachel's grip loosen and grabbed her hand more tightly as she pulled her close. "No, no, no," she breathed. "Just a minute longer, Rach, just stay with me for one more minute, okay?" She led her down the hall and opened the door awkwardly, kicking it shut behind them with her heel. She sat Rachel on the end of the bed and, one-handed, unbuttoned her own jeans and kicked them off before removing Rachel's.
"Sorry," she breathed, making sure their legs were touching as she removed her shirt and then Rachel's as well, gasping when she dislodged Rachel's glasses and she saw the blood in her eyes. "I want to make sure I don't lose contact with you, even when we're lying down." She pushed the sheets back and eased Rachel into a lying position, keeping hold of her hand and climbing in beside her. She wrapped herself around the brunette, touching skin to skin in every possibly spot, and prayed she'd done enough. "Rest, Rachel, it's okay. I'm right here. You're safe, and I swear to god I won't leave you. Not now, not ever. Just sleep."
Rachel simply nodded against Quinn, unable to find the strength for more than that. "'M tired..." she said, sounding almost drunk. She felt the gentleness of Quinn's touch as the other girl removed her clothes, limply allowing the movement. She had no energy left to assist her friend. As the sunglasses tumbled from her face, she blinked slightly and groaned as her eyes protested the light. The pounding in her head once again made itself known. She felt Quinn lay her down in the bed and wrap around her tenderly.
The brunette instinctively curled into her companion, using her last vestiges of strength to burrow into Quinn's surrounding warmth, her face nuzzling the other girl's neck. "S'warm. You smell good..." she drawled lazily, closing her eyes once again.
"I know you are, Rachel, I know," Quinn whispered as she felt the other girl curl up against her. She was going to stay awake as long as she possibly could, to keep an eye on her companion. She owed it to her, to take care of her. To be sure that she was safe. And on a selfish level, she was aware that the girl was the closest thing she had to a friend. "You do too, Rachel," she kissed her cheek. "Rest now. I'll take care of you."
Rachel felt herself fading out, but her connection to Quinn was only getting stronger. She was too tired to sever it and she felt her own presence wrap itself around the other girl's protectively and tenderly as she began to fall asleep.
Quinn felt...well, she couldn't put words to it, but she felt something flow from Rachel to her, and it felt warm and comforting. She smiled, holding Rachel against her as if she could protect her from the entire world. The hotel room may have been gross and dingy, and she didn't want to think about who'd used the bed before them, but she honestly wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world right then.