Chapter 19

Dinner with Baki went well. He and Yondaime talked about the old days. Kankuro could tell his father was really pleased – and shocked – at how much Baki remembered, and how fondly.

They ended the evening on a high note, sitting in the living room and drinking a glass of plum wine each, both of them looking more relaxed than Kankuro had ever seen them. When it was time for Baki to go, and everyone went to the door to see him off, Kankuro fondly hoped that there would be a lot more evenings like this.

After everyone got ready for bed and went their separate ways, Kankuro went to his father's room, pursuing some bedtime snuggles. He didn't necessarily want to do anything sexual; he just wanted lying in each other's arms to be a regular thing.

His father accepted him gladly.

For many minutes, they lay in bed under the covers, snuggled up beside each other.

"So can Baki come over more often?" Kankuro asked. "I mean, we all like him."

"Hai." His father nodded, looking surprised. "I would welcome increased visits from Baki. I missed him; more than I think I can ever say. He was always the student I remembered most fondly from my teaching days. Bright, considerate, and ethical."

Kankuro smiled. "Great. Maybe after we come back from Rivers, we can have like a lunch or something. Because we'll have the day off…"

After S-Class missions, teams were required to take some down time. Depending on the outcome of the mission, how taxing it had been, teams could be off duty for up to a month. It was serious business, risking life or death that way. Of course, Kankuro didn't expect much to happen. It was just item retrieval. If they did their jobs properly, no one would even know they'd come and gone.

His father looked stricken.

"What's the matter?" Kankuro asked. He was instantly concerned by the change of mood.

Yondaime clung to him, wrapping his arms around Kankuro's waist and intertwining their legs. "I don't want you to go," he confessed, burying his face against Kankuro's chest. "I don't want you to go…I'm scared. I'm scared you're not going to come back, you're going to be hurt, you're going to die…"

"Nothing like that will happen," Kankuro said softly, stroking his father's hair and rubbing his father's back. He should have seen this coming, he felt. He just hadn't thought of it because from his point of view, he had to go with Baki to Rivers.

His father was trembling. "I wish I could be with you."

"I know…" Kankuro continued petting his father's head and back. "I'll be fine, though. I'll be with Baki. Don't you trust Baki?"

"I do…" His father sounded reluctantly calmer. "It's just catching up to me that you'll be gone…"

"Not gone," Kankuro corrected gently. "Somewhere else. Somewhere else is not the same thing as gone. I'm coming back. I'm not leaving. Think of it this way: I'm en route to you."

His father looked up at him.

Kankuro kissed his father's forehead. "Everything is going to be okay."

"I want to do everything," Yondaime blurted.

Kankuro was surprised and confused. "What? What do you mean?"

"I want to go all the way," Yondaime said.

Kankuro stared at him. "You…" His lips moved silently. "What?" He couldn't be hearing his father right. It couldn't mean what he thought it meant.

Yondaime squeezed him and whispered, "I want to feel what it's like to have you inside of me."

Kankuro had to restrain himself from jumping out of the bed in pure shock. Whoa! Holy shit!

That jammed their whole situation into perspective pretty suddenly. His father's scared rabbit reaction in the beginning, his father's arousal at being touched, the fascination with femininity… "You want to be on the bottom," Kankuro said, his heart racing.

His father curled up against him, looking uncertain and wary. "Yes…"

Kankuro stared at him. He thinks I'm going to die, and he wants to go all the way before I leave. This is pretty serious stuff.

"But…I thought…" Kankuro couldn't find the words. He shook his head slowly. "You're the dad. So…" Then he realized he was going about this all wrong. His father couldn't do it. Because of what his grandfather had done to his dad. His dad couldn't be on top.

His father was frozen, looking at him with wide eyes.

Kankuro stroked his father's cheek. "I'm sorry. I understand. I just needed to think about it for a moment." He was going to have his first time with his dad…as the person on top. It gave him shivers. He wasn't sure if they were shivers of anticipation or nervousness or what. Maybe a little of both.

"You…you do?" Yondaime asked.

Kankuro kissed his lips gently. "I do. You have to do it this way." He pulled his father close to him again and hugged his father tightly. "I'm very open to your needs. But at some point…after we go all the way with me in charge…I want you to be in charge, too. I want to feel how it feels to be the one with you inside of me."

His father looked awed. "I will…"

Kankuro smiled and kissed his father with a little more passion, mouthing his father's lips. He sucked on his father's upper lip gently.

His father opened his mouth, panting, and gently pulled Kankuro's tongue into his mouth. He sucked on it slowly, trading caresses, and then pulled back. Tears slowly slid down his cheeks. "Everything is about necessity," he whispered. "I hate it."

"Necessity?" Kankuro stroked his father's hair slowly.

Yondaime nodded. "Necessity. Necessity that Karura allow herself to be part of a sealing ceremony when Gaara was still in the womb. Necessity that Gaara should be saddled with Shukaku. Necessity that I should concentrate Gaara's rage on me instead of allowing him to find targets within the village. Necessity that I should allow my children to become ninjas, become targets, become casualties, become soldiers in a war –" By the end he was yelling, and tears rolled down his cheeks steadily.

Kankuro was horrified. His brain was overloaded by all of the information. "You mean…Gaara hates you on purpose?"

"I can't let him pick out of the population, can I?" Yondaime exclaimed, sounding wildly panicked. "Not everyone can defend themselves the way I can! If I let him hate me, then he doesn't take out his rage on Council members, or civilians, or people –" He gave himself the hiccups and stopped talking, pale and flushed at the same time.

Kankuro didn't know what to do. He stroked his father's cheeks and wiped away his father's tears. "I love you…I love you so much. You shouldn't be hated. We should correct your reputation."

"I can't!" Yondaime looked at him in agony. "As long as Gaara believes it was all my fault for everything that's happened, he won't try to attack anyone else."

Kankuro hated the logic in that. He hated that it was logical at all. He stroked his father's cheeks, cupping his father's face. "Well, I will always love you and see you for who you are." He pressed a kiss to his father's lips.

"I'm scared," his father whispered. "I'm so scared. I'm scared you're going to die like Karura did. You're not supposed to die. She's not supposed to die."

Kankuro understood then how the situations appeared to be parallel. He stroked his father's hair. "But I'm not going to die," he said softly, giving his father a small smile. "It's not the same situation at all. I'll have Baki. And Temari, and Gaara. We're a team. Childbearing isn't a team. Not when it comes down to the last part. Mom had to do that on her own. And so things could go wrong, that you didn't have time to correct for…but this is different. Mom is not me. I am not her. We're two separate people. And I can succeed. I can come back to you safe and sound."

He rocked his father gently until his father fell asleep.

xXx

His father seemed alright the next day. He certainly smiled, and though there was a trace of uncertainty whenever he looked at Kankuro, he didn't seem panicked about the prospect of the upcoming mission anymore. Kankuro had to hope that the medication, and a good night's rest, was taking effect. His father slept more soundly and reported greater energy since taking the sleeping medication.

Today, he and his team did combat drills, preparing for the S-Class mission. It was item retrieval, but S-Class item retrieval meant that the client felt an enemy team of shinobi had been dispatched to secure the item for somebody else. In other words, two shinobi teams fighting for the same prize. One of them doomed to lose. Ninjas did not take losing well, so Kankuro and his team wanted to be prepared.

He and Temari went all-out against each other, which was actually pretty fun. Gaara sparred with Baki, since Baki was better able to handle Gaara's power level. Kankuro noticed that while his brother's reaction times were quick, his style was too defensive; always at an opening, Gaara would block rather than attack. His brother didn't take any chances, didn't advance through the battle quickly. Gaara's tactic seemed to be a war of attrition that solely relied on his superior chakra reserves.

That made Kankuro a little worried for Gaara's success in the Chuunin Exam, before he reminded himself that there wasn't going to be a real Chuunin Exam at all. And if it looks like we can't stop the war, Father wouldn't let us go to Konoha anyway. That was abundantly clear from his father's freak-out last night. He's way too sensitive about Mom's death, still.

xXx

They got back from the cliffs, where the most remote training grounds were – always a good choice when allowing Gaara to use more power – and collected their father, going home for dinner. Kankuro felt pretty good about how his day had gone. He had that pleasant after-workout feeling, his muscles all stretched out and relaxed. Before going down to dinner, he soaked in the tub for ten minutes, making sure to treat his body right after such an intense sparring session.

Dinner was normal, and everyone was in good spirits, even Gaara. His brother was just as quiet as ever, but at least he wasn't scowling. Draining off some of Shukaku's excess chakra seemed to do wonders to lift his spirits. Kankuro made a mental note to ask Baki to spar with Gaara more often. His brother needed all the help and attention Baki could give.

By silent agreement, he met his father in his father's bedroom after everyone was settled down for the night. When Kankuro came in, his father was standing by the bed.

"What's up, Dad?" Kankuro asked curiously.

Yondaime flushed, lingering uncertainly by the bed instead of coming to greet him. "I still want to do it."

Kankuro felt a bit warmer at that, but he didn't want to jump to any conclusions. "Do what?"

His father looked at the floor shyly, and then smiled at him. "I still want to go all the way. If you do."

A pulse of heat shot through Kankuro, making him half hard. His erection tingled. "Yeah," he stammered.

Yondaime's smile grew. "Okay." He slowly, carefully, got undressed.

Kankuro flushed. This was like being treated to a strip show, even though his father was being modest about it.

Once he disrobed, his father crossed the room to him. Kankuro could see for once all the innate grace and the lithe muscles that went into such an action. He was wide-eyed by the time his father reached him.

His father pressed against him coyly, stroking his neck with gentle fingertips. "Do you want me to undress you?"

Kankuro nodded, mute and hard. He'd never expected his father to be so seductive about it. But I guess he wants to make this special. Kankuro could appreciate that. It was special. Very special. His first time…His first time with anyone would be special, much less with the person he loved most out of the entire world.

Yondaime slid his hands up underneath Kankuro's baggy black t-shirt, stroking up Kankuro's torso.

Kankuro shivered and raised his arms, licking his lips reflexively.

His father lifted his shirt off and then nuzzled his neck, kissing his way down the center of Kankuro's chest. His hands slid down Kankuro's sides, coming to rest on the band of Kankuro's black cargo pants.

Kankuro moaned, his head falling back.

His father gently trailed his hands down the front of Kankuro's pants, stroking Kankuro's erection through his clothes. Kankuro pressed into the touch faintly and spread his legs a little more. He'd never felt more turned on, more graceful or beautiful. His father's hands made him intimately aware of the smallness, the desirability of his own body.

Yondaime unzipped Kankuro's pants and gently pulled them down. Kankuro shifted with his father, helping. He stepped out of his pants and sucked in his breath. His skin felt flushed, and his head was spinning – the feeling of blood coursing down lower. He spread his legs, adopting a wider stance, and moaned. "Tousan…"

His father flushed deeply and petted his erection through his boxers, rubbing the material against Kankuro's wet tip and creating a damp spot right away. Kankuro squirmed. "Okay. Off. I want them off. Please."

Yondaime complied, pulling Kankuro's boxers down, carefully making sure they cleared Kankuro's erection in front.

Kankuro noticed that his father was hard, too. "Oh, god. You're so beautiful…" He didn't think he could explain to people how beautiful his father was, not even with a hundred portraits.

His father smiled at him, looking pleased. "Thank you." He brushed Kankuro's hair back from his forehead and planted a kiss there. "You're beautiful, too, son."

Kankuro shifted happily, his cheeks flushing. He felt warm inside that he could honestly believe his father this time. He knew his father had been trying to tell him that.

His father stroked his bared erection gently. "Make love to me."

Kankuro shivered. "Hai." He didn't know how, but he figured his father would explain it. In the manga he'd read, it looked difficult. Sometimes he thought the artist had probably made up the position, because it didn't look like it made any sense. He took a deep breath. Well, now I'll find out how it's done for real.

His father led him over to the bed, where they sat down and embraced. Kankuro snuggled against his father appreciatively, taking comfort from the feeling of hot skin against skin. He rubbed his father's nipples with one hand, gently teasing.

Yondaime moaned. He reached out and opened the drawer of the nightstand, pulling out the bottle of lubrication. "Lubrication," he murmured. "Lots of it. That's the first step."

Kankuro nodded, and pulled his father down on the bed, kissing and squirming until he was halfway on top of his father. His father arched underneath him. "Ooh, you like that," he teased.

Yondaime panted, flushed, and looked up at Kankuro with utter seriousness. "Yes. I like being pinned underneath you."

That made a pulse of heat go through Kankuro, making his erection jump and leak. "Oh, god. You are sexy."

"You are sexy, too," his father whispered, and pulled him down for a kiss, winding his arms around Kankuro's neck gently.

They squirmed against each other, kissing until they were both out of breath, their lips tender and tingling. Kankuro sat up, straddling his father's hips, and rubbed his father's nipples gently, hands splayed across his father's chest, rubbing the rosy nubs with his thumbs.

His father moaned, back arching, and a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead.

Kankuro took the lubrication from where his father had set it on the bed and uncapped it, smearing strawberry scented oil on his father's nipples. He figured he should start with that, since his father liked it so much. He rubbed the massage oil and lubrication in, mock massaging his father's chest – he would have given a real massage, but he didn't know how. Then he leaned down and lapped up the lubrication, moaning and the combination of his father's heated skin and the sweet, fruit and coconut taste. He licked his father clean, teasing both nipples in the process.

His father moaned and squirmed underneath him, uttering encouragements in a husky whisper.

By the time he was finished, Kankuro could feel that they were both hot, hard, and leaking. "Are you ready?" he whispered.

Yondaime nodded, uttering another moan before he could speak. "I'm going to…roll over and you…are going to take this lubrication and…get it on your fingers." He took a deep breath.

Kankuro obediently climbed off of his father so that his father could roll over.

His father did so, bringing himself up on his hands and knees. "You're going to…rub me until you can slip a finger into me, and then repeat until you can stroke me from the inside with three of your fingers. Then we're ready."

The process was nerve-wracking, and Kankuro wasn't sure it was sexy until he found a place inside of his father that made his father cry out and spread his legs. Then Kankuro relaxed in a warm rush, leaking steadily onto the sheets.

When he got to the point of slipping three fingers in and out of his father's body, his father moaned deeply and pressed back with every gentle thrust. Kankuro tingled all over. "Are you ready? Are you ready for me to put myself inside you?"

Yondaime nodded. "Hai…oh, hai." The words were dragged out, wrapped inside of a moan.

Kankuro felt a moan rumble in his own chest in response. Oh, god. "How do I…is there a special way I can do this?"

"Kankuro, I'm going to sit back on you," his father said, husky and breathless. "It's the easiest way. Get into a sitting position and help guide me by holding my hips steady. Okay?"

Kankuro nodded, wide-eyed. Adrenaline coursed through his body. "Okay." He sat cross-legged and took his father's hips gently.

His father slowly, gracefully sat down on his lap, sliding down on his erection until full seated. A final squirm, and his father was resting in his lap. Deeply penetrated.

Kankuro's erection throbbed and leaked, and his heartbeat went crazy. For a few moments, he thought he was going to come. Then he took a few breaths and tightened his muscles in some instinctive way, holding himself back. He let out a long, low moan. "Tousan…"

His father leaned back against him, shivering and gasping faintly. "Kankuro…you feel so sweet inside me. So sweet…so…" He moaned.

Kankuro slipped his arms around his father's waist, struck by how he could cradle his father on his lap, embrace his father and snuggle, at the same time that they did this thing.

He shifted, involuntarily pressing his hips up against his father's bottom, and stroked up his father's chest, feeling compact muscles, sweaty skin. They were both sweating. It felt so good. Like their skin was alive; shimmering and alive. He stroked his father's nipples, caressing with his fingers in loose swirls.

His father pressed back against him and moaned.

Kankuro rested his face against the back of his father's shoulder, kissing sweet, salty skin, and continued to stroke and caress his father's nipples. He barely noticed that his hips were rocking gently, slowly. It felt so natural, the movement. Their bodies rolled together, in sync together. In pleasure together.

He licked and lapped his father's shoulder and neck, overcome by the throbbing heat of his erection, his father's lithe body in his arms and on his lap. The way his father's nipples felt harder and harder. His ears filled with the sound of soft moans and panting breaths.

Kankuro had never felt something so incredible. He was lost in it, completely wrapped up in it; the air was like feathers against his skin. His father's body all around him, surging feelings of primal contentment washed through Kankuro. All he could feel was his father. It was like falling for an eternity.