Chapter 24

On the surface, everything had to remain the same. Baki trained Kankuro, Temari, and Gaara in preparation for the Chunin Exam. Their father went to work and came home in his usual routine, waiting for Kankuro to pick him up. For outside observers, they had to appear as though their patterns hadn't changed.

On the inside, worry about the war and Jiraiya's ability to root out the main players gnawed in Kankuro's stomach. He didn't want his father to cry, he didn't want innocent people to be killed, and he didn't want to be stuck fighting battle after battle until the whole world was consumed in war.

Shinobi were not mindless tools of destruction. Shinobi were people. Shinobi were not lawless criminals. Shinobi had a code of honor. Most of all, shinobi were not callous about the value of life. Someone who could end a life could never afford to be. Life was a concept to be taken seriously.

And no life should be ended because some old people sitting around a table thought it was a good way to raise money.

Kankuro was furious. He wanted to track them down and tell them to slaughter their own families first, if they felt like blood would turn into gold. Because bloodshed was not some miraculous process of alchemy. There were very few conditions under which Kankuro would ever consider killing somebody. All of them included protecting himself or somebody else.

War was not protection.

xXx

Kankuro sat around the dining table with his siblings, father, and teacher, trying to act as if everything was normal and not as though his stomach hurt.

"So have you heard from Jiraiya yet?" Temari's question punctured the thin veneer of denial over the group.

"No," Yondaime said. "I told him not to report to my office anyway. If he has anything to report, he'll come here after hours."

"That's not suspicious," Temari said.

Yondaime sighed. "What else can I do? He shouldn't be seen hanging around my office. We're not supposed to be that close."

"How close are you?" Kankuro asked.

"Jiraiya entered the scene as a double agent in the Third Shinobi World War," Yondaime said.

"A double agent?" Temari asked.

"Premature negotiations for peace between countries are common," Baki explained. "However, different factions within each country are still fighting: some for war, others against. Yondaime means that Jiraiya was a representative of a peaceful group from Konoha. In an alternate version of history, a double agent who betrayed his country to speak peace to the Sand."

"Oh." Temari looked at Baki and her father blankly. "War is more complicated than I thought it was. I thought everyone had to agree to be at war for the war to continue."

Yondaime shook his head, smiling sadly. "There are defectors and dissenters in every war. No war is unanimous, Temari. There are always people who want peace over war. The problem is that they are usually fewer or less powerful."

"So Jiraiya came in to talk peace with your uncle," Kankuro said, trying to piece together the story.

Yondaime shook his head. "No." He ate a bite of steamed seafood. "Jiraiya came to me after my uncle had been killed." These days, it was mostly referred to as a death rather than a disappearance, in spite of the fact that no one had ever found a body.

"You…were named as Ojisan's successor from the beginning?" Kankuro asked.

"No." He bowed his head, studying his plate. "Jiraiya and a man named Minato, who later became the Yondaime Hokage, were instrumental in convincing me to become the next Kazekage and in gathering enough support for me to do so. Their supporters discretely coordinated with sympathizers within Suna in order to run a campaign for me."

"You're still ashamed about that," Baki said.

"Politics is dishonest." Yondaime shrugged. "I am a good Kazekage. I suppose I must be to make up for the method of my election. In return, I signed a peace treaty with Namikaze Minato as soon as he ascended to the position of Hokage. Our countries made peace with each other. All is well…except that I deeply suspect the current Council knows how I achieved this position, and consider me tantamount to a traitor."

"And they're punishing you," Baki guessed.

Yondaime nodded.

Baki shook his head. "Don't worry about it. You've done a good job, the people like you, and everyone is even starting to calm down about Gaara now that he's graduated. You just have to ride out this traitorous war proposition, and everything will be alright."

Yondaime smiled wryly. Kankuro was relieved to see this smile reach his father's eyes. "Whom the traitor is depends on one's point of view, doesn't it?"

Baki grinned. "To me, you'll always be the loyal sensei I knew as a child."

Yondaime looked away, but he seemed pleased nonetheless. He couldn't help the smile or the slight blush. "Well."

Kankuro needed a moment to process everything he'd heard. He held up a hand. "Wait. So you and Jiraiya…really know each other."

Yondaime and Baki nodded.

"We have a past," Yondaime agreed. He ate a bite of fish.

"That is why we knew we could rely on him to carry the message to Konoha that the Council was planning on attacking," Baki said.

Kankuro nodded and ate a few bites of rice and fish as well. A lot of things made more sense now. "But you've changed a lot since Jiraiya last saw you, haven't you, Baki?"

Baki looked at Kankuro in surprise and then laughed. "Well, yes. The last time Jiraiya saw me, I was thirteen. I would imagine he didn't remember me, either. I was not exactly vocal. More like I hid behind my sensei from the legend with the crazy white hair."

Kankuro and Temari laughed.

"I can so see that," Temari said, grinning. "Cute little Baki hiding from big, scary Jiraiya."

Baki stuck his tongue out at her. "Now I'm the scarier one. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Oh, definitely," Temari reassured him, with sparkling eyes.

Yondaime snorted. "How tough can you be when you require a teenage girl to bolster your confidence in your scariness, I wonder?"

Baki looked at his former sensei with wide eyes and then roared with laughter.

Kankuro was pleasantly surprised as well. He'd never heard his father joke like that. It was something he might have said if he'd known Baki a little better. Another sign of his father's improvement. His chest felt warm inside.

At that moment, amidst the laughter, Jiraiya appeared, walking into the dining room casually, only to stop and blink. "Having a party?"

"A little bit," Baki said. "What's up?"

Jiraiya pulled out a scroll from his obi and crossed the room to stand in the corner between Yondaime and Baki. "Okay, first problem you've got is this." Jiraiya tossed the scroll down on the table in front of Yondaime, narrowly missing Yondaime's dinner.

"What is this?" Yondaime asked, raising an eyebrow at Jiraiya instead of reading the scroll.

"An anonymous informant claims to have proof that Konoha broke the treaty first by undercutting you guys on missions," Jiraiya said. He glanced at Kankuro and saw Kankuro's blank expression. "Mission bids. Clients ask for quotes from the villages. How much for an A-rank, how much for an S-rank, how much to do this, et cetera. Then they pick the village that, surprise, surprise, gives them the lowest quote. Somehow, someone is claiming that Konoha has access to Suna's bids and is underbidding them. On purpose."

Yondaime sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose. "I explained to them that we cannot afford to raise our rates, but that was a decision they voted on. It would be all too easy for the Council to believe that Konoha has taken advantage of their decision, and that they have set themselves up to be underbid out of the market. Those councilmen are born pessimists. Or at least they act like it."

"Isn't this something the Council should share with you?" Temari asked.

"Yes," Baki said flatly. "They should have. They should have told you about their anonymous information source."

"But, they didn't, because they knew you wouldn't believe it, and you would defend your old friend Sarutobi," Jiraiya said. He scowled. "They're practically acting like you should be un-seated as Kazekage."

"Oh, I know they think I should have," Yondaime said. "They think I should have lost the job when Karura died. I took a whole month off to grieve. They've never trusted me since."

Kankuro was shocked, and he sincerely hoped that his father's point of view was distorted.

"Outrageous," Baki said. "Absolutely outrageous."

Kankuro nodded in agreement.

"So how can we skewer these jerks?" Temari demanded. "They can't just undercut Father's power like that!"

Gaara nodded once, a deliberate, decisive motion. "They dishonor the village."

A chill ran down Kankuro's spine, making the little hairs on his arms stand up on end. When Gaara said that, it meant he was in neck-snapping mode. For whatever reason, when Gaara had complete control of Shukaku, his little brother was obsessively honor-bound about the village. He supposed he should be glad for the loyalty, but somehow, this loyalty didn't seem to extend to individual people. Just the village as a whole.

Anyone dishonoring the village would be crunched between Shukaku's teeth like candy.

Jiraiya held up his hands. "Look, people, I know you're angry, but the most efficient thing to do is to go to the cause of the problem: this informant. Who is it, where are they, are they even a real person? Where did this allegation of underbidding come from? Since that's fuelling this war, I've got to get to the bottom of this."

"Need any help?" Baki asked.

Jiraiya turned to his second cousin with a smile. "I'd be glad for the help."

Kankuro was suddenly worried for the informant. Baki's kind of help probably included wind blades. Of course, he knew his teacher wouldn't be stupid enough to slaughter the guy before the whole issue of the war was resolved, but the informant might be missing a few pieces before the end. Arms and legs weren't strictly vital, after all.

Baki stood up and bowed to Yondaime. "The Akagizume will take care of this, Yondaime-sama."

Jiraiya looked surprised and pleased to be included in that clan title.

Yup, Kankuro concluded. He's lonely. Not that he was surprised. Traveling the world by yourself sounded lonely.

Yondaime nodded. "I trust you to get to the bottom of this. You have my permission to use whatever measures are necessary. Just…" He looked from Baki to Jiraiya. "…be safe. Both of you. I don't want any casualties on our side. The people who are loyal to me are few and precious."

Jiraiya bowed. "You can count on me not to die any time soon. I got through two wars. I can get through this."

"Some would say that means your luck is running out," Baki said.

"Don't be cynical," Jiraiya said. "The luck of the Toad Sage never runs out. Toads are the luckiest creatures on the planet." He grinned. "Didn't you know that?"

Baki hmphed. "Everyone's luck runs out."

"I prefer to think it happens in cycles," Yondaime said gently.

Kankuro smiled at his father, knowing his father referred to their new relationship ending the loneliness and depression.

"If you give your permission, I'll take away Baki-kun right now for some late night espionage," Jiraiya said.

"By all means," Yondaime said, smiling.

Jiraiya grinned and grabbed Baki's sleeve.

Baki looked at him incredulously and gently tugged his sleeve free. He bowed to Yondaime. "Thank you for this important assignment. I will take my leave now to help the Sannin."

"We were making such progress, too," Jiraiya lamented, but his eyes danced with mischief. "Now it's back to 'the Sannin', ne?" He sighed.

Baki snorted. "In a formal situation, you are required a formal title."

Jiraiya gave him a look and bowed exaggeratedly. "Then please allow me to beg for your assistance, Baki-sensei."

Baki grabbed Jiraiya's sleeve and dragged him out of the room.

Kankuro laughed. He couldn't help but be amused at their sleeve-grabbing antics.

Temari snickered as well.

Gaara raised an eyebrow. "I do not see what is humorous about this situation."

"Baki and Jiraiya are fooling around in order to relieve tension," Yondaime explained to his youngest son.

"Fooling around." Gaara looked at their father blankly.

"Joking. Playing. Familiar behavior between two people is often used to break a sense of tension," Yondaime said.

Gaara frowned. "I do not believe anyone has ever 'broken the tension' with me."

"I suspect not," Yondaime said sadly. "I am sorry for that, son. The experience of someone using familiarity to break tension is a common experience that people have. It helps build bonds of friendship."

"Bonds of friendship," Gaara said slowly. "What is friendship?"

Kankuro hoped that was a philosophical query and not a literal one. "Friendship is when people use their strength to help each other out in times of distress."

Gaara's eyebrows lifted. "Use their strength to help each other?"

"Yes," Temari said. "Like when Baki explained how you need to defend us in a battle? That's the same thing. It's like, he's trying to tell you how to be friends with us. So we can mesh better as a team."

Kankuro scratched his head. "Lemme put it this way: being friends with someone you are related to is honorable. Families need to be friendly to each other to fulfill their societal obligations."

Gaara nodded. "I understand. That is because families need to bond." He obviously put that connection together because of what their father had said about bonding.

"Yes," Kankuro said.

Gaara paused. "Why is this a requirement?"

Yondaime sighed. "Families ought to support each other and bond with each other because it is good for the soul, Gaara. I am not sure I can elucidate a better explanation for you than that."

"Soul," Gaara repeated. He frowned and bowed his head, thinking on that.

Kankuro let him.

Everyone ate in silence for the rest of the meal.

xXx

Kankuro tried to give his father some space after dinner to be able to journal, but he was worried about his father's ability to cope with Jiraiya's new information about the war.

He ended up pacing in his room until half an hour had passed, then going to his father's door and knocking. His father called for him to come in. He didn't hesitate; he entered immediately and shut the door.

His father was standing, obviously having been pacing himself. That was where Kankuro had picked up the habit, so it was hardly surprising.

"It's a bitter pill to swallow, isn't it?" his father said without prompting. "The idea that a group of people responsible for the village could hide things from us that we need to know. Like the anonymous informant that poisoned their minds."

"I'm sure it will be okay…" Kankuro ventured. "Baki and Jiraiya are working on it. Aren't they trustworthy?"

"They are also two men against a lot of wealthy men with a lot of connections," Yondaime said. "Not to mention the ability to command shinobi within the village. If the Council gives an order, people follow it. Baki could be branded a traitor and put to death. Jiraiya could be executed as well for breaking the treaty. A fair trial with a judge appointed by the Council would not be so fair. Baki would have to become a missing nin in order to escape, probably with my help, and then I would be removed as Kazekage if my involvement were ever found out…"

Kakashi waited through that blast of unfocused anxiety. He decided to try a simple question to help his father pinpoint some of those emotions in there. He'd read that if a person suggested some words to describe the emotions, they became easier for the dissociative person to handle. A lot of the distress came from simply never having learned coping mechanisms or ways to describe the feelings.

"So are you worried?" Kankuro asked.

"Of course I'm worried," Yondaime said. He threw his hands up. "How can I not be worried? There's an anonymous informant sneaking about poisoning the Council against our allies!"

Kankuro took his father's wrists, then slid his hands into his father's and gently squeezed. "Let me help you calm down."

His father looked stricken. "No."

"It's not like anything your father did to you," Kankuro said, making his voice soft. "I'm going to love you until you forget. That's all there is to it. When I'm finished with you, you're not going to remember why you were upset in the first place. And it won't be because you dissociated. It'll be because you're so happy."

His father's shoulders slumped. "You don't have to take responsibility like this."

"If I came to you, and I wanted to be snuggled until I forgot what bothered me, would you do it?" Kankuro asked.

His father reluctantly nodded.

Kankuro tilted his head and kissed his father's lips gently. "Then let me do the same thing for you. Come on, let's get into bed and get snuggling. You'll feel better soon."

His father nodded. "Okay."

Kankuro led his father to the bed and folded the covers down. He waited for his father to climb in, then slid in beside his father and pulled the covers up around them. He lay down on his side. "Now come here," he said tenderly.

His father slid into his arms, nestling against him and clinging.

Kankuro squeezed his father and gently rubbed his father's back. "That's better."

"I'm not sure what I did to deserve this," his father said suddenly.

"What?" Kankuro asked. The war? You didn't do anything. It just happened because these things happen. He'd stopped reading into misfortune a long time ago. If he assumed his mother's death happened for a reason, for instance, it would drive him crazy. He couldn't afford to think that way. It was debilitating.

"You loving me," his father said in a plaintive little voice that made Kankuro melt.

Kankuro hugged him tightly and kissed his father's forehead. "You didn't do anything. You just had to be you. You're naturally lovable. Everyone who gets to know you loves you. I know I do." He stroked his father's back slowly.

"Everyone…" His father trailed off and snorted. "That's a good one. Then why did my father hurt me so?"

"Because he never took the time to know you," Kankuro said firmly. "He just decided what he wanted from you and took it, the bastard. He didn't care about you at all. He didn't give you a second thought. You weren't a person to him."

His father nodded slowly. "I suppose that's true…"

"Of course it's true." Kankuro kissed his father's forehead again. "Now you just let me take care of you, and everything will be okay." He'd honor that vow no matter what he had to do to protect his father.