Author note - yeah yeah, I know I'm beyond slow with updating this. No excuses, although life is chaotic. Thanks again to Dubigail for kicking my butt into gear on this one. Nearing the end of part one - warning that part two is going to be pretty heart breaking.

Eric and Nell left a speechless Callen and Sam behind as they headed outside. Nell was tripping over the heels Hetty had chosen for her, and shed them as soon as they stumbled out of sight of The Oasis.

"I don't know how Kensi walks in these things all the time. I swear, they're impossible!" She giggled, waving the strappy heels around. Eric just shook his head.

"I don't think she manages them so well when she's drunk. And you, Miss Jones, are definitely drunk." He told her. Nell giggled.

"Yup, I think you might be right." She finally said. "The streetlights are very sparkly."

Eric eyed his petite partner and sighed.

"I'd better get you home. Hetty would kill me if I let anything happen to you."

"Maybe I need to take YOU home." Nell retorted. "I'm a strong and capable agent. It is my responsibility to take care of you." She continued.

"Nell, you've had a lot more to drink than I have and you're walking barefoot through downtown LA. I'm not sure you're in any condition to be taking care of anyone." Eric explained gently. Nell was silent for a few minutes, but then perked up.

"Ok. Take me home, Beale."

They arrived at Eric's apartment shortly after midnight. It took Nell a moment to realise she was not home, but rather at Eric's.

"Um, I thought you were taking me home." She said. "This isn't my home."

"No, but I'm tired and you're drunk, Nell. I wanted you somewhere I could keep an eye on you but still get some rest. He explained, running a hand through his hair. "You take the bed and I'll take the couch." Nell pouted.

"But your bed is lonely." She complained. "And I'm cold."

Eric eyed her, and tried not to laugh. She looked like a grumpy toddler with the expression on her face, but in the dress she was wearing it was very evident she was NOT a young child... She was all woman. He ran a hand through his hair nervously and sighed. He may have had a lot less alcohol than her but he still had more to drink than usual and she was tearing at the last bits of self control that he had. He took a deep breath to calm himself and steel his resolve, but in that moment she put her hand on his chest and stretched up to kiss him.

Time froze as their lips met, and then Eric found himself kissing her back. And then all thoughts of why this was a bad idea and couldn't happen seemed irrelevant. He knew without a doubt he was falling in love with her, and he needed to kiss her, needed to hold her, needed to be close to her. Nothing else mattered, not his job, not national security - not even air. Kissing Nell Jones was the most important thing in the world.

A giggle welled up in Nell's throat, and she suddenly pulled away. Eric looked at her, puzzled but still overwhelmed. Nell's giggle quickly turned into full blown happy laughter, and it wasn't long before Eric began to laugh too.

"We don't speak of this again. Just one more night, you and I. No one else ever knows, ok?" Nell said, staring into his eyes. Eric could only nod in response. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to his room.

They made the most of their night. Even drunk, they knew there was a line drawn in concrete that they could not and would not cross... Crossing that line was something that would break every bit of resolve they had, and surely send one of them to Tokyo. But it didn't stop them from toeing the line for hours. They kissed and held each other, enjoying the feel of their skin touching. As the alcohol left their systems they began to talk, pouring out secrets they had never told others about their history, their feelings, their families, their past. And every time one of them would tear up, or pull away in shame or in sadness, the other would wrap their arms tighter and gently kiss away the tears. It was a night unlike any they had ever experienced with another - something more profound than sex. It was their souls connecting rather than just their bodies. But as the sun rose they knew that it had to end.

They fell into silence, simply wrapped around each other under a blanket. They kissed gently, then drew back so only their foreheads were touching and stared intently into each other's eyes. No words were needed, yet they spoke volumes. And eventually, Nell wordlessly stood and began to dress. Eric watched quietly and could swear he felt his heart breaking. For a brief moment he decided he would throw caution to the wind, quit NCIS and work with Ira... But the thought of anyone else working with Nell made him change his mind. Their work together was an integral part of their connection, and it would destroy both of them if one had to leave.

"So this is it." He broke the silence hanging over them - the fragile silence that had protected them from heartbreak.

"This is it." She confirmed, tears starting to run down her cheeks. "We... I can't... I."

"I know." Eric told her. "I hate it. But this is how it needs to be."