Ten days post hospital discharge.
Kensi had woken up in a good mood and feeling motivated. She wanted to start piecing her life back together, and found herself missing some of her things. She talked with Nell, who said she completely understood. While Kensi had initially wanted to go herself, after standing at the door for forty five minutes, unable to bring herself to actually open it, she retreated to Deeks' room. Nell had waited patiently, busying herself with her tablet while she had waited for Kensi to be ready to go. Seeing her friend retreat after trying so hard broke her heart. She picked up the list Kensi had discarded in her rush back to the security of Deeks' bed.
When Deeks and Eric returned from surfing, both in a great mood and chatting excitedly. They stopped suddenly when they saw Nell looking dejected and no sign of Kensi.
"Everything ok?" Eric asked.
"Yeah. Kensi wanted a few things from home so we were going to go pick them up, but she couldn't bring herself to open the door. She just went and hid in Deeks' room without saying anything," Nell explained, gesturing to the closed door with the hand holding Kensi's list. "Every time she starts doing better something happens. I wish there was some way to help her with this one."
"Why don't we swing by her place and get the stuff on her list?" Eric suggested.
"Yeah, I was going to. But I'm not sure how she would feel about us in her apartment... Or going through her stuff," Nell replied.
"I'll go talk to her," Deeks said, heading for his room.
He returned a few minutes later.
"She's asleep," he said with a shrug. "Nell, why don't you and I go grab the stuff on the list. It won't take long and we should be back before she gets up." Nell nodded in agreement and grabbed her keys.
"You'll be ok to stay with her Eric?" Nell asked.
"Yeah, we'll be fine. You guys will be what, an hour? And we've got a full fridge. It'll be fine," Eric said. Deeks grinned.
"You're fully Kensi trained. If all else fails, Twinkies," Deeks replied. "We'll be back soon."
Deeks didn't argue with Nell when she grabbed the keys, and found himself surprised. The ride to Kensi's place was short, and he took the few minutes to read over the list Nell had handed him. Mostly, she wanted particular items of clothing she was missing, as well as a few odds and ends. The only thing on the list that had him hesitant was her request for her razor. His place was still kept free of sharp objects, although he understood her desire to shave.
He followed Nell to the door and watched her pull out the key. It struck him as odd, again, but he knew the locks had been changed as soon as the investigation began. They stepped inside, and both inhaled sharply. Yes, it had only been two weeks since the attack, but the realisation quickly set in that even with all the happy memories Deeks had in this home, all he could see now was signs of her attack. Nell put her hand on his arm and squeezed to let him know that she got it.
"So where should we start?" she asked quietly, gesturing at the list.
"I guess most of her clothes will be in her room. Or maybe the laundry," Deeks began. "Can you grab her mug from the kitchen? It should be beside the sink. And she wants her orange basil body wash from the bathroom," he told her. "I'll get the clothes." Nell nodded, and watched as he paused and then forced himself to enter her room. She knew that the blood had been removed and the house had been cleaned, but that didn't mean it would be any easier for Deeks to enter the room where he had found his partner bound and bleeding. He hesitated before going in, but entered the room and went straight to her dresser. Nell turned and found the requested mug and then headed to the bathroom to find Kensi's body wash.
Deeks had found most of the requested clothing and was sifting through the laundry pile when Nell's phone rang. She answered and quickly stepped into another room in hopes she could deal with the matter without further stressing Deeks. Unfortunately, that would not be the case.
Kensi woke from a nightmare, screaming. Eric rushed in when he heard her screams, but was overwhelmed when she quickly pinned him to the bed. Unlike his colleagues, he did not have the urge to fight and quickly let himself go limp as Kensi continued to yell at him, keeping him pinned to the bed. After several minutes, she dropped back and burst into tears, freeing Eric. At that point he was torn between trying to comfort her and getting away from her as quickly as possible. Instead he grabbed his phone and called Nell, retreating from the bedroom and leaving Kensi curled up sobbing. He felt awful and was nearly in tears himself as he explained what was going on to Nell. Unsure what else to do, she told Eric to switch to speaker phone and she handed her phone to Deeks as they rushed to head back to Kensi and Eric.
Eric did as Nell ordered and switched the phone over to speaker mode before knocking quietly and slipping into the room. His guard was still up from earlier, but he placed his phone on the bed beside Kensi, who seemed oblivious to his presence. A moment later, Deeks' voice came through the phone, trying to get Kensi's attention and calm her. Eric stayed by the door in case he was needed, but stood far enough back that Kensi would have her privacy. He felt completely out of his depth. Yes, he had joked that all it took to handle Kensi was some sweets, but in reality he was able to do nothing for her when she needed him.
Eric listened as Deeks reminded her she was safe, and she wasn't alone. He reassured he was on his way back, telling her every intersection as Nell rushed through it. Kensi continued to cry, but it did seem her tears were slowing and she was no longer choking on every breath. After ten solid minutes of Deeks' calming voice, she had mostly stopped crying. Not even knowing why, Eric stepped towards her and was shocked when she suddenly reached out and hugged him. Her head rested on his shoulder, as her tears soaked into his shirt. Having no idea what to do, he settled for stroking her back and letting Deeks do the talking.
When she looked up at him he was afraid she would freak out when she realised he wasn't Deeks, but she didn't. Instead she looked up at him with tear filled eyes and kept mumbling, "I'm sorry." That was the moment he cracked, and a tear ran down his cheek as well.
"Kensi, there's nothing for you to be sorry for. I just want you to be ok. That's all we want for you," he whispered. Neither noticed that Deeks had stopped talking. Moments later, Nell and Deeks ran into the room to find Kensi wrapped in Eric's arms, with both of their faces streaked with tears. It wasn't until Nell coughed that they looked up. Kensi quickly let go and pulled back, apologising to everyone and leaving Eric sitting awkwardly. Deeks sat next to her and stroked her hair, then scooped her into his lap so Eric could get up.
Nell motioned for Eric to follow her out of the room, which he did. Before she could say anything he found himself apologising over and over until Nell put her hand over his mouth.
"Beale, snap out of it. You did everything right. I'm sorry we left you alone with Kensi when neither of you were ready. Now go park your butt on that chair so I can check you over and make sure you aren't injured," she ordered. Eric blushed and did as he was told.
Nell thoroughly checked him over and declared him free of all injury aside from some bruising to his arms where Kensi had pinned him. She offered him ice, which he declined.
"It really isn't that bad. I was just scared for Kensi. I mean, I know she could have done serious damage but that wasn't even what I was thinking about. I was just panicking because I couldn't help her and she obviously needed help." He began to ramble until Nell once again cut him off.
"You did the right thing, and Kensi is ok. You seemed to have managed just fine without us. She didn't even notice when the call was dropped, and the two of you were fine when we got home," she reminded him. "Now are you ready to go? We're going to be late for work."
Author Note - ha, I'll confuse you by putting my note at the bottom for a change! I'm looking for co writers who are familiar with the format of The Amazing Race. If you're interested, PM me.
I seem to have a wealth of story ideas but I'm lacking time to write and motivation at times. Apologies to those waiting impatiently and thanks to those keeping me going.
This chapter is for xoxMountainGirlxox who has been patiently waiting for months.