Private Prague, U.N.P.K

Chapter 14

Deep Fried Doug

Lin softly hummed as she grabbed a nearby bottle of corn oil from the a drawer, then also grabbed a box of salt with her other hand. The young girl set the items down on the shelf and looked at a piece of chicken that was laying on a cutting board.

"Ah, is Linly cooking bird today?" Tatsu hopped up to the counter, "Tatsu thinks Linly will make absolutely wonderful poultry!"

"Chicken is my specialty!" Lin winked at him as she poured some oil in a heating pan, "Now, should I use chili sauce or just fry it?" she asked.

At that moment, Private Prague had walked in with Elma and Doug, all three conversing about what seemed to be a road building project.

"Hm..." Elma stopped when she caught a whiff of the food, "What are you cooking there, Lin?' she asked the young girl.

"I'm deciding on it now." Lin responded, "Hm... I'll just make it fried." she muttered and placed the chicken breast in some wheat.

"Whatever you make is delicious, Lin." Doug's mouth watered at the thought of food, "Say, are you going to stay, Prague?" he asked the android.

"Negative, I do not need sustenance now that I am at full android operations." Private Prague responded, "Sorry for the rejection, but I don't need to eat."

"It's fine." Lin sighed as she beat the breast, "I'll have you guys, right?" she asked Tatsu and Elma.

"Tatsu is fine with whatever Linly makes!" Tatsu nodded and flailed his ears.

"Well, I shouldn't be eating such greasy foods now that I'm almost about to deliver." Elma responded, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass it down, Lin."

"I understand." Lin told her, "I'll make you some salad!" she grinned.

"Thanks." Elma smiled softly, "Private, will you join us for at least the conversation?" she asked him.

"Very well." Private Prague answered, "I will stay, given I have nothing to do." he chuckled and sat down on one of the sofas.

0000000

"Ah..." Doug patted his stomach as he moaned in satisfaction, "That was 5 stars! Excellent!" he complimented the food he had just ate.

"That one came out better than last time." Lin commented, "Maybe because I used 14 herbs and spices." she chuckled, "I usually only use 11."

"A simple composition scan reveals all the ingredients used." Private Prague looked at Doug's empty plate, "But we don't really need to reveal your secret recipe now..." he laughed.

"I hope not." Lin giggled, "Oh, Prague, thank you for showing me the recipe." she said.

"Wait, you showed her how to cook this?" Elma asked in surprise, "Private Prague, I didn't know you knew how to cook!"

"I am designed to emulate the human being." Prague pridefully said, "But no, I don't cook, I have Lin do that for me."

"Linly did not know how to make this bird?" Tatsu gasped, "Linly lie to Tatsu?"

"I didn't say I knew how to." Lin defended herself, "Plus, I didn't see you complain while you were eating it."

"Who could?" Doug chortled, "Damn, Prague, you have a mean cooking skill hidden in that metal hull." he nodded in acceptance.

"I only use my vast database to search up recipes for foods." Private Prague shrugged off the compliment, "But thank you anyways, perhaps I may not conquer NLA via diplomacy, but by stomach." he joked.

"You would certainly win then." Elma chuckled, "Ever since we got the Lifehold restaurants have been booming like crazy, especially Army Pizza." she informed.

"Ooh, I love Army Pizza." Lin blurted, "That pizza is the best pizza ever!"

"Well... It's the only pizza." Private Prague muttered, "I had just passed by there this morning and saw Gwin and Irina inside." he notified.

"Well, I guess Gwin is giving Irina the Deluxe Sausage, if you know what I m-" Doug was smacked by Elma, who growled and shook her head in disgust.

"What do you mean by that, Doug?" Lin asked, causing all the adults to clear their throats and look around awkwardly.

"What Doug means by 'Deluxe Sausage'." Prague started to explain in his robotic matter-of-fact voice, "Is actually a euphemism for combat advice in order to help her better her skills in the battlefield."

"Thank you, Private." Elma sighed in relief, "Yes, Lin, that's what it means."

"Yeh, better her skills in the battlefield." Doug wiggled his eyebrows, "If you know what I mean..." he gave a sly smirk, much to the chagrin of Elma.

0000000

"Alright, let's see here." Lao conversed with Elma and Prague as the three looked at a holographic map in the Pathfinders Barracks, "Here's where we last placed the probe..." he pointed to a spot on the map.

"And you're guessing volcanic activity either moved it or completely destroyed it." Elma muttered as she looked at the missing signal, "Are you sure it is still there?"

"Analyzing the terrain with information from nearby probes yields that there is a 57.2301 percent chance that the probe was just moved." Prague informed as he gathered intel, "However, playing the large nearby rifts gives an new disruption to this probability."

"Well, I already sent Irina and Gwin's team to get it." Lao muttered, "So if it's not there... well, I'll take the blame for it... and Irina's rage." he looked down and chuckled.

"Such a sacrificial lamb." Elma laughed, "Now, we should reconsider putting the pro-"

"So, Gwin took Irina to Cauldros..." a voice muttered, and Doug walked in, "I guess he wants to get a little hot with her, if you know what I mean." he grinned.

"Uh..." Lao muttered in confusion.

"Ugh..." Elma groaned and shook her head.

0000000

"So you're telling me the man in the mirror was actually the father all along?" Elma spoke on her holodev, "So must have been an interesting movie, huh?" she asked.

After a brief pause of hearing what was said, the Colonel nodded and smiled.

"Yes, he's right here, he's not going anywhere." Elma grinned, "Except in a few weeks, when the doctor told me it will be time." she looked at her belly, "It looks like he almost wants to get out and meet his daddy."

A soft chuckle was heard on the other line.

"Well, I guess I should tell Lao to go watch it." Elma continued, "Too bad Irina or Gwin aren't interested, they have to teach some apprentice Interceptors when it shows." she said.

"Gwin is taking Irina to a class?" a familiar voice spoke, "I guess he's going to teach her a few things... if you know what I mean..."

"Doug! Grrr!" Elma yelled and stormed off.

0000000

"Doug, what's gotten into you!?" Elma yelled at the Harrier, "What is it with all these lewd jokes about Irina and Gwin!? It's not funny!" she scolded the man.

"I found them funny." Doug responded, "Plus, you can't deny they haven't been seeing each other." he argued.

"That is not a fact! That is just idle speculation!" Elma said, "You shouldn't make such assumptions with your flawed, perverted, and incorrect way of thinking!"

"Come on, Elma." Doug sighed, "I'm just trying to not bore myself to death... Ever since everything went peaceful we Harriers had had nothing to do except escort missions, and even those we have to split with the Interceptors." he groaned.

"Well could your entertainment not be so... perverse?" Elma muttered, "Please, it's getting very annoying and you did it in front of a child too!"

"Fine..." Doug groaned, "I didn't like the jokes anyways..." he kicked the ground, "They're not Harrier Style at all." he shook his head, "Plus, Irina's like a lil' sister to me... I brought her up ever since we got here."

"No you did-"

"Shut up." Doug told Lin, who had just walked in, "Why would I want to hurt someone so close to me?"

"You heard him, Prague?" Lin said, "Why would you want to hurt someone so close to you with rejection of her feelings?" she aked.

"I heard 'Shut Up'." Prague grunted as he continued walking to the main console...