As much as he tried not to dwell on it, Sarah's reaction had made something clear to McGee. The thought that he was now an object for pity and disgust had hovered in the back of his mind for several weeks, but every time it crossed his mind he'd been able to dismiss it.
Until now.
And with the thought came the crushing realisation that maybe what he'd said to Sarah was true. He'd said it without thinking, but what, after all, did he have to offer a woman? Particularly one as smart and energetic as Abby Scuito? No matter how hard he worked at it, his shoulder would never be whole again; right now he couldn't even give someone a proper hug. And his job security was tenuous at best, despite Vance's assurances.
He thrust those thoughts back to the back of his mind; they were too painful. He'd be glad to get back to work, even on light duties; at least then he'd have something else to think about.
...
As McGee still couldn't drive- his Porsche had a manual transmission and he couldn't make the gear changes just yet- Sarah volunteered to drop him to work on his first day back. It seemed to take forever to clear security and get onto the Yard, and the Marines manning the main gate looked grimmer than he'd ever seen them. He guessed that the attack at the Yard had led to the tightened security measures. He directed Sarah to the visitors' lot, remembering from his first visit to Headquarters how difficult it could be to find your way around. Thanking her, he pulled his pack out of the front seat and automatically slung it over his left shoulder, wincing as it protested. He shifted it quickly to his right shoulder; it felt awkward to carry it that way, and it kept slipping as he walked to Headquarters.
...
He looked up at the building in front of him. The NCIS headquarters wasn't a particularly imposing building, but that didn't make it any easier for him to go inside. He swallowed; he was more nervous to enter now than he was when he'd first come here. He'd specifically asked Gibbs not to let the team know he was starting back today in case he changed his mind, he'd managed to avoid letting it slip to Abby that he'd be here, and he'd gotten here before anyone else would be in so he could take the time to settle at his desk again. And see the look of surprise on their faces, he admitted to himself. Adjusting his pack across his right shoulder again, he walked across the road towards the main entrance. His first stop was down to Autopsy; he had to be cleared by Ducky before he could resume even light duties.
...
Ducky didn't take his eyes off the inventory checklists he was studying when he heard the automatic door.
"It's a little early, even for you, isn't it Jethro?" he asked without turning.
"I'm not Gibbs, sorry Ducky" came the apologetic reply. At the sound of the soft voice, Ducky spun quickly. "Timothy? What are you doing down here?"
The young agent had a half smile on his face. "I was hoping you could clear me to go back to work."
Ducky gave him a shrewd glance. He was half inclined to protest that it was too early for Timothy to return, until he saw the determination and defiance in the younger man's eyes. It was clear that he intended to return today.
"I can't help but notice, Timothy, that you're carrying your backpack on the opposite shoulder. Pain?"
"A little" McGee admitted. "The pack puts pressure on it."
"Well, that's to be expected." He gestured to the nearest table. "Sit there, Timothy. Let's take a look at you."
...
After putting him through a battery of tests, including stretching exercises and an x-ray, Ducky finally cleared him for light duties. He was outlining exactly what he considered 'light' when the automatic doors opened, admitting Abby.
"Hey Duckman, have you seen- Timmy!"
At the sound of her voice McGee snatched up his shirt, attempting to cover the network of scars, but he wasn't quick enough. Faster than he thought possible, she rushed across the room and threw herself at him; he caught her awkwardly in the crook of his good arm, finding himself the recipient of the biggest Abby-hug he'd ever gotten. He gasped a little, so she released him, standing back and studying his shoulder and arm. Hesitantly he looked at her, not wanting to see the same mix of pity and revulsion he'd seen on Sarah's face when she'd seen his scars. He knew it was involuntary- the normal reaction of the healthy to the damaged- but it still hurt. So he was surprised to see nothing but sorrow in her eyes. Thoughtfully she reached out and lightly traced the worst of the scars; the one that had almost cost him his arm. He saw comprehension on her face as she realised how massive his injuries had been. "Is that why-" she began, cutting herself off like she was unable to finish the question. He nodded. "The only thing that stopped them was you" he told her. Rendered acutely uncomfortable, as always, by someone's scrutiny of his scars, he picked up his shirt from the table again, easing into it and awkwardly buttoning it up.
She gave herself a little shake, and then demanded "Are you back?"
"Sort of, Abs" he replied. "I'm not fit for field work yet."
"However, I have just cleared Timothy for light duties." Ducky broke in, his emphasis on the word 'light' leaving no one in doubt of how restricted McGee's activities would be. "If you have any problems, Timothy, do come and see me."
Giving McGee a moment to tuck his shirt in and make himself presentable again, Abby grabbed his good hand and dragged him out of Autopsy. "Come on Tim, the guys are going to be so surprised to see you!"