CHAPTER THREE

Paradox

"Together, we form a necessary paradox; not a senseless contradiction."
― Criss Jami

Shiharu was definitely surprised as soon as she saw Kamui for the second time; the latter seemed to be quite amused himself. However, he had far more important matters to attend to— and that definitely doesn't include the 'little weakling rabbit'.

"Ne, Abuto. How many minutes do you think I'll be able to wipe out this place?" Kamui asked with a grin.

Abuto briefly glanced at Shiharu, who surprisingly, didn't seem that much afraid anymore compared to before.

Instead, she was seen getting back to playing Tokidoki Funeral.

The older Yato even raised a brow as soon she heard her mumble the words, "Finally I'm on episode 6. Freak yeah!"

"Abuto~ You're not paying attention." Kamui chided as he kicked Abuto hard, taking him by surprise as he flung towards the wall.

"Hai, hai. I bet 3 minutes tops Danchou." Abuto replied as he slowly stood up with a sigh; he was planning to have his own fair share of kills, but Kamui interrupted him and warned him from doing so, much to his dismay.

"Kill even one of 'em and I'll kill ya~" Kamui said in a sing-song voice, earning a frown from Abuto.

'I will definitely be damned.' He sighed, opting to sit this one out. Upon seeing Shiharu's uncaring and busy form, he decided to stand by her instead in order to see what she was doing.

There's no harm in a curios Yato initiating conversation with a little girl anyway, right?

"Hey ojou-chan, what are you doing?" He asked in a gruff manner.

"Playing. I'm on episode 6." Shiharu merely said, not sparing a look on the older Yato.

Abuto raised an eyebrow as he sighed. "Aren't you worried about getting killed?"

"No. My character will do the beating instead. He's invincible." Shiharu joked, earning another frown from Abuto, who decided to keep silent instead.

However, unbeknownst to the two, Shiharu was actually watching the fight in a subtle manner, glancing every now and then from her DS when Abuto wasn't looking.

She actually felt very intimidated and afraid of Kamui, however, as compared to her situation last time, now seemed even less threatening. For some reason she could not fathom why, she feels at ease now, despite the bloodshed and massacre that was currently occurring.

Also, Shiharu could not help but be amazed at the vermillion-haired lad who killed without any difficulty. He also had this carefree expression that clearly showed how much he is having fun, smiling widely.

'It's as if he loves sending people to the afterlife with a smile.' She silently mused, her crimson orbs fixated on every punch and kick Kamui gave out to his opponents.

Somehow, she could imagine her own character coming to life.

In all honesty, Shiharu loved playing games because it takes her out of the harsh reality she is living in. She enjoys being in a fictional world wherein everything is new, wherein her starting point is within her control; about how fully responsible she was for every consequence or risk that may happen to her character.

In short, she felt as if she was her true self whenever she played games.

Shiharu also loved playing because no one judges her for who she is. No Yato-name calling, no bastard child of Joui Rebels… none.

But of course, she wouldn't let anyone know about this small secret of hers.

Rather, she thinks no one would give a care to what her opinion is on things like this, since people tend to see her as a 'sleazy and lazy brat'.

To be honest, she wasn't really lazy. She just gives out the appearance of being a lazy bum, making people misinterpret her.

But the truth is, she'd rather live her life in the games she plays, than to struggle in real life.

'Who needs reality, when I've got a reality of my own. Virtual it may be, but I could still call it mine.' She always thought.

She wanted to be an amazing courtesan like Hinowa. At the same time, she also wanted to be badass and strong like Tsukuyo, the leader of the Hyakka.

However, she never wanted to attempt to try in fear of failing.

Yes, she was weak. She made a brave attempt once, and it failed. After every failure she was afraid to try again, in fear of repeating the same mistake, or rather, her mistakes to be overlapped.

But when it comes to games, there is always a reset button— by which she loves very much in times of dire need.

Shiharu is fully aware about how twisted her logic is, but then again, she has never felt any safer whenever she was in the safe confinements of her virtual world.

That is why now, she can't help but be surprised and amazed at seeing one young man kill off easily as if he was her own character in Monkey Hunter.

She felt as if her virtual self has finally come to life.

Shiharu became briefly distracted by the fight, that Abuto had finally noticed.

He raised a brow upon finally seeing an interested expression from the girl, who seemed to abandon the game console at the moment.

He looked again at his Danchou who doesn't seem to be aware that he had a small audience before him.

Not that he would care about being watched though.

But what amused Abuto the most was that the girl does not seem to be afraid, despite the blood mess and gory carcasses that seem to be surrounding her at the moment.

Rather, she looked awestruck and for the first time since he saw her last; she seemed to have eyes that were burning with life.

'Strange kid.' He chuckled silently.

Somehow, Shiharu briefly reminds him of his boss's little sister, Kagura. Except, this one seems to be less lively than the former.

But as compared to Kagura, this one seems to enjoy the sight of bloodshed, he thought.

After barely three minutes, Kamui was finally done "cleaning up" the mess. He licked his blood-stained hands with a smile on his face.

"Ah, still worthless, but refreshing." He grinned, moving towards Abuto.

Abuto immediately approached Kamui, after briefly glancing at Shiharu who had her face close to the screen of her game console again, giving him another amused look.

"Let's go eat Abuto, we're done here." The vermillion-haired lad said,

"Hai hai Danchou. Let's use the front door next time, I don't want taxes piling up on us again." Abuto sighed, scratching his head.

Sometimes, he wished Ungyo was alive so that he could help him with matters like this, especially when it came to motherly matters such as cooking and other basic things, especially taxes and paperwork.

It was only until recently that he had to do everything, since he could rely on no one anymore but himself. Kamui was out of the question, since the lad seemed to hate mundane and boring things such as paperwork.

Besides, Kamui and paperwork don't go together.

They never go together.

As soon as the two of them turned around to leave, a pack of bubblegum was thrown towards Kamui's head, which was perfectly caught by the latter, no matter how much of a surprise move it was.

"Bubblegum is good for hunger because it contains sugar. It'll satiate your stomach for the time being." Shiharu casually said as she turned off the power button of her game console, standing up to finally check whether Shinpachi was still breathing or not.

Kamui looked at the bubblegum package curiously; it indeed was similar to the one he had eaten last time. He looked at the crimson-eyed girl who was trying with all her might to remove the debris that has been covering Shinpachi with an amused look on his face.

Abuto sighed at what has been happening, and started to walk off, despite the disturbing urge to help her with whatever she was trying to lift.

But he decided not to— his boss might kill him for it.

The vermillion-haired lad did not think of giving thanks to the girl— he doesn't have a reason to thank her anyway, since he didn't ask for anything in return.

Instead, he cheerfully said before parting, "Bye bye, little weakling rabbit!", and jumped up the hole, casually throwing a piece of scrap metal towards her direction, followed by Abuto who gave a pitiful glance at the girl before jumping up as well.

He was honestly tempted to help out, since the girl seemed so fragile and harmless.

But then again, he wouldn't want to live the day to see Kamui sending him off with a smile.

Also, he did not understand the reason for his boss to make an attempt to kill her. After all, she gave him bubblegum anyway, seeing the Admiral gobble up the whole thing in one go.

Shiharu, on the other hand, was somehow able to successfully dodge the stray debris that was thrown at her when she crouched down and tried to pull up the broken wall before her, containing a possibly dead Shinpachi.

She was fully aware of how Kamui seemed to attempt to kill her, but for some reason she could not understand why, she never felt in the least disturbed.

'It must be because I associate my character so much with him, or I must be simply insane' she thought, amused.

After several tries of attempting to lift up the wall, her hands gave way and finally gave up trying, feeling disappointed.

She looked around her surroundings and noted how every single body was crushed and mutilated, except for those of the women, who seemed to be bawling their eyes out at the moment.

After all, it was not an everyday occurrence to witness something as gory and murderous as this.

Shiharu didn't feel in the least traumatized, due to her excessive share of playing gory games. What she would consider as 'trauma' would most likely be her attempted rape experience.

In all honesty, she still gets the shivers whenever she thinks about it.

She wanted to ask for help from the women, but she seemed too timid to do so; also, they aren't in the state of being helpful at the moment, she thought.

She wanted to go outside, but then again, her phobia got the better of her. Sighing, she decided to lean back on what was left of the wall, and opened her game console again to play.

After all, her reality belongs to the virtual world anyway.

Bad timing always happens to unlucky people, they said.

Unfortunately, for Gintoki, this seems to happen all the time, making him an unlucky person.

A very unlucky person at that.

It was already evening; however, none of the two Otsuu-chan fans arrived home.

Yes, they were supposed to be enjoying their youth, but usually Shiharu stays cooped up at home, and Shinpachi arrives around 7PM to cook dinner.

And now at 9PM, they were still nowhere to be found.

Gintoki scratched his head as he yawned, leaning his head on the side to look at the Justaway clock that continued to make tick-tock sounds. 'That's odd', he thought. 'They should be here by now.'

"Gin-chan I'm hungry. A lady needs to have her dinner, yes?" Kagura whined as she approached Gintoki with a frown, her stomach giving out a loud rumbling sound.

"Go find Pachi-kun and the brat with Sadaharu. I'll patiently wait for them here like how a good father should." Gintoki replied, gesturing her to shoo, as if she was Sadaharu.

A vein popped on Kagura's forehead as she whacked Gintoki on the head.

Whack!

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR, YOU MONSTER GIRL?!" Gintoki shouted, clutching his head in pain.

Kagura huffed in annoyance, crossing her arms. "That's for calling me a monster! And you don't give orders to the Queen of Kabuki-cho, yes?"

Gintoki rolled his eyes. He knew what the girl wanted, it was just really his fault for not listening.

"Hai hai, just get out you brat and find them. Here's money for your sukonbu." He annoyingly said, throwing some coins at her forehead, while his other hand picked on his ear.

Kagura smirked and took the said coins happily as they fell on the floor.

"Kagura the Great will find them." She proudly stated, before calling out to her pet dog. "Sadaharu, let's go!"

Gintoki rolled his eyes as he watched the girl and the abnormally big dog run out the front door, by which up to now is still broken with a gaping hole.

'Ah, finally some peace and quiet.' He happily thought, before standing up to get some pudding in the fridge.

He lazily scratched his tummy as he went to the direction of the kitchen, partially elated that he will be finally able to eat his most precious pudding.

To be quite frank, he restrained himself from doing so earlier, fully knowing well that the Yato girl will fight with him for him it, considering that a glutton like her spared no food mercy.

That is, well… unless it was Otae's cooking.

"Ah, pudding, Gin-san is here to finally give you some hot love!" Gintoki grinned wildly as he excitingly opened the fridge and ripped the covering of the pudding as if he was ripping some gift wrapper from Christmas presents.

Gintoki took a spoon and was about to take a big bite of his pudding when—

"Gintoki."

A tick formed on Gintoki's temples as he shakingly put the pudding down, far from harm's way as he turned to the intruder, ready to give a sickening fit.

"Don't you know how long I've been waiting to—"

"Where's Shiharu-chan?"

As soon as the intruder spoke clearly, Gintoki's eyes widened, immediately forgetting the annoyance he felt just a while back.

In the back of his mind, he seemed to indeed be very unlucky this day, he thought.

"W-well… S-she's out with Shinpachi enjoying—"

"Gin-chan! I can't find them! They might be dead already." Kagura stated as she grumpily went inside, clearly not being happy of going out to find to people older than her, despite the small glee she felt from being able to buy more sukonbu.

Tsukuyo, who turned out to be the intruder, swiftly looked at Gintoki with a menacing look in her eyes, making the man shiver with fear, sweating profusely despite the cold weather.

"Tsu-Tsukuyo-san it's not what you—"

Whack!

"Hmph. Good for nothing samurai." She scoffed, clearly annoyed at what has just transpired; Kagura was cheering for her in the background, acting as if she was some heroine who finally was able to beat the big boss.

Tsukuyo frowned as she turned to the girl, who in return, seemed to be just as clueless as she was.

All Tsukuyo ever wanted was to pay a peaceful visit to Shiharu; she even brought some games and packs of bubblegum with her as a gift of truce. She knew that somehow, the girl still might be mad at her, at them, for seemingly throwing her away like that— when all they ever wanted was for her to return to normal.

As seemingly safe as it looks now, Yoshiwara still isn't a place for young girls like her to be living in, let alone, frolicking in, for the place itself was a den full of hungry men yearning for flesh.

Also, flat-chested and child-like she may be, Shiharu was still a growing teen in her puberty; even though she is still underage, she still might be targeted due to her looks.

And Tsukuyo does not want to risk that any longer, especially after what happened to her in the past.

For some reason, the Hyakka leader also seemed wary of having her stay there, for Shiharu seemed to be a danger magnet of sorts; she was honestly lucky to not have been killed by Kamui the first time they met. But what if they meet for a second time, what happens then?

She would not want to risk it.

Tsukuyo sighed as she walked out the front door, glaring at Gintoki who seemed to still be writhing in pain.

"Kagura-chan, please tell me once Shiharu arrives, okay?"

"Hai!" Kagura saluted as she called for Sadaharu to find the two again, with hopes that maybe, just maybe, they were still somewhere within the vicinity.

Being alone once again, Gintoki sighed as he finally stood up, deciding that he'll try to find them next. It was bad enough that Tsukuyo was disappointed, and possibly thought of him as an uncaring foster father, but still… Shiharu and Shinpachi were still family to him.

And as much as possible, he honestly didn't want anything bad to happen to them, no matter how light the circumstance may be.

Especially for Shiharu, who, for some reason he cannot fathom why, seemed to have a familial place in his heart, despite their recent meeting.

He always used to think that it must be because of her eyes and demeanor, but still… there was something more to her that he could not pinpoint out.

Taking his bokuto with him, he rushed off to search for the two.

For the first time in history, Shiharu felt genuinely surprised and at the same time, very much annoyed.

For the first time, her game console finally broke.

Thanks to a falling debris from above.

Curse words spouted in her mind as she repeatedly restrained herself from throwing a tantrum by kicking the said culprit, getting somewhat annoyed now at the vermillion-haired lad, blaming him for being the cause of the mess.

If it weren't for him, she thought, the falling debris wouldn't have killed her most precious sweet in the first place.

She rubbed her temples in an attempt to calm down, when suddenly she heard some whispering in a corner.

"Gintoki, she seems to be the girl isn't she? If she is then why are we hiding? It is unbecoming of samurai like us to be looking like peeping— HEY!"

Kick!

Shiharu frowned as a soft kicking sound was heard next, accompanied with covered whimpers.

Rolling her eyes, she was about to shrug it off and attempt to sleep, when suddenly she was lifted up.

"Papa needs to teach you how to be more self-preserving. Don't you like your new home? Do you prefer sleeping here? Don't you worry at all? No more bubblegum for you, and you're grounded for a week, young lady!"

Shiharu widened her eyes in surprise as she struggled to look at the face of her captor, but to no avail.

Not that she needed to know anyway; she inhaled the familiar scent of sugar and strawberries, finally feeling at ease.

Despite hiding out playing games, she honestly felt very worried about their state, especially Shinpachi's.

But then again, whenever she got anxious or panicky like this, she tends to deny the existence of reality.

Gintoki felt her muscles relax as she whispered, "Shinpachi-san is under the debris. I tried… but I can't."

Gintoki let out a small smile as he ruffled the girl's head, relieved that she seemed somewhat okay.

"Good job. I know you did your best."

Shiharu let out a small, seemingly non-existent smile in response, slowly closing her eyes as she drifted off to sleep.

'Huh… where am I?' Shinpachi thought as he felt something soft, enveloping him with warmth.

'But wait, what happened to Shiharu-san?'

'What is this place?'

'Am I dead?'

'But why is there no light?'

!

'Am I going to hell?!'

Shinpachi shrieked as he opened his eyes immediately, before suddenly feeling at ease upon knowing that he wasn't dead yet.

For a person like Shinpachi, it was honestly a miracle for him to still be alive, after hours of being crushed under a dilapidated wall.

Finally feeling relaxed, he started to wonder what that 'soft' feeling may be.

He somehow wished that he was under Otsuu-chan's arms, or at least in his bed. But as he looked up…

"WHAA—?! ELIZABETH-SAN?!"

Elizabeth had him in its arms, looking at him with those dead eyes.

"Is something wrong." Elizabeth held out a placard.

Shinpachi looked at it with dead fish eyes, frantically wishing that he should've just been a good boy and slept.

A thousand apologies, a hundred threats, a dozen of unsuccessful 'groundings and punishments', and weeks of torturing Gintoki by the usually sweet Hinowa and naturally ruthless Tsukuyo later, everything was fine and dandy once again.

It turns out that Katsura was aware of the women trafficking that was happening on the east side of Edo, but was not aware that Shinpachi and Shiharu were included in it, hence, he paid it no heed.

But then again, he earned a lot of punches and kicks from Gintoki, who seemed clearly annoyed that if only Katsura had informed him sooner, the sooner they would have found the two, and the wrath of Tsukuyo and Hinowa would then be avoided.

But at the end of the evening, Gintoki still was thankful that nothing happened to them both.

He tried asking Shiharu for details, by which she gave him a vague response, still feeling a bit peeved about the death of her DS.

No more Tokidoki Funeral for a while, she thought.

She even tried asking 'nicely' for Gintoki to buy her a new one, but she only earned a whack in response.

As for Shinpachi, he was still the same as ever. But unfortunately, he could not enlighten Gintoki further as to the events that happened after, since he passed out.

In all honesty, Gintoki wanted to know. It was not every day you'd find corpses and mutilated parts hanging around the vicinity as if it was some thrown confetti.

And he had a feeling of who was responsible for it, however, the girl would not budge no matter how many times he asked, for a reason he did not know why.

Shiharu, on the other hand, refused to tell Gintoki anything, in fear that he might hunt the vermillion-haired lad down. She herself did not tell Tsukuyo that the men who attempted to rape her were killed, despite the feeling she had that somehow, Tsukuyo still knew.

Also, she didn't want to worry Gintoki further, in fear that maybe, she might get thrown out of the house in order to live with another family.

She did not want that, especially now that she has somehow warmed up to them, and felt very at ease with their companionship.

At the very least, she'd do anything in order to not lose this current family she has.

At the very least, she thought, she'd want to protect their connection and bonds with what measly power she has.

"Ohohoho, now you look as pretty as me, yes?" Kagura grinned while Shiharu frowned at her.

She was currently wearing the same outfit Kagura has, with the red qipao and black trousers, along with black flats Hinowa gave to her sometime in the past.

And if you look at her closely, she'd look very much like Kagura, if only it weren't for her eyes and hairstyle, her chest-length hair with waves at the ends and side bangs.

It was unlucky enough that Katsura accidentally burned her closet of clothes, after making various attempts to pester Gintoki.

And now, she had to go outside, much to her fear and dismay.

What was worse was that Gintoki isn't available at the moment to assist her with her phobia.

It was all up to Kagura for now, by whom she treated as her Kami-sama, in hopes that maybe, the Yato girl will spare her the torture of facing her fear once again.

"Ne Shi-chan, why don't you ride on Sadaharu's back? He's really fluffy!" Kagaru instructed Shiharu, as she held Sadaharu in place, to avoid him accidentally biting Shiharu's head off.

The girl hesitated for a minute, grasping the straps of her backpack tightly.

Yes, she brought her laptop and game consoles, with a new DS in tow, after Tsukuyo gave her the "truce" gift.

"Don't be a scaredy cat, yes? Sadaharu is nice." Kagura confidently said as she lifted up Shiharu with ease, securing her on Sadaharu's back.

"H-hn." Shiharu tentatively responded as she proceeded to bury her face in the dog's fur, fearful that she might get thrown out or something.

Kagura smiled at the girl and patted her head as if she were a child, before going out with Sadaharu, Shiharu on its back.

They strolled around Kabuki-cho, with Kagura stopping every now and then to pick fights with the sadist, Okita Sougo.

"Just get out of our way, you stinky human!"

"Ouch, China. Now you're wounding this poor policeman's heart."

"Che!"

A sweat dropped formed on Shiharu's face as she somehow realized that Kagura and Sougo were fighting yet again, for the nth time.

Sadaharu barked and cheered for its master, while Kagura shouted.

"Sadaharu, go bring Shi-chan to the clothes shop for now! I'll catch up as soon as I'm done with this bastar— HEY THAT'S CHEATING!"

Sougo smirked. "It's not my fault you're not paying attention."

'Ah, young love.' Shiharu sarcastically thought as she felt Sadaharu moving swiftly towards wherever they were going at the moment, the sounds of the seemingly lovers' spat, gradually disappearing at every second.

Sadaharu barked again, moving its back to signal Shiharu to get down.

We're here, it seemed to say.

Shiharu slowly opened her eyes and immediately went inside the store, after frowning at Sadaharu who seemed to choose to take a dump on top of a sleeping homeless man with black shades, and a cardboard box for a house.

However, as soon as she stepped inside, and was about to go to the direction of where the shirts were, she suddenly felt a sudden force hit the back of her head.

And then everything went black.

A/N:

BloodyCamellia: Thank you so much for the review! ^-^ Hihi, in this chapter though, I hope everyone got the chance to know more about Shiharu a bit, by which I plan to unfold her whole personality in the future chapters gradually. Think of it as bits and pieces of surprises (since I honestly love them). Certainly this fan fic of mine won't be as fluffy and as cheesy romantic as compared to the others… since I tend to love mixing romance and angst. *evil laugh* Hihi soon shall be revealed in the future~ *u*

Tonki: Ah, indeed. Our cherry boy seemed to be getting lots of beating recently. XD

GinkoxKaguura: Thank you! I did too, since I myself am a fan of gaming. The arc made me cry with laughter to be quite frank. XD

: Yay thank you so much! I feel very honored to receive a compliment such as this. :`) I hope I can manage to make them as consistent as possible though. XD

angelbott: Thank you! Oooh, I think I'll check out Markiplier sometime. *u* I was livid at the men who attempted to rape her too. I be like, 'nobody touches my Shiharu-chan!' (or nah, Kamui should be saying this. Kidding, haha I wish. /slapped) Hihi prolyl Abuto will be getting a vacation soon too, if he's nice. XD

Xliaf27: Hihi thank you so much! ^-^

Thank you for reading, awesome people!