vDisclaimer: This is a work of fiction, no real humans were used to make this story and the characters featured in this piece of work do not belong to me. Also, I do not make any profit from this.
Warning: possible grammar and spelling mistakes, as well as missing letters and/or words.
There will also be detailed sex scenes and possible violence, as well as bad language and slang words. This is/will be an mpreg (male pregnancy) story, so if this offends you please do not read it and turn back now.
Thank you for your understanding.
Chapter Eight: Baby Steps.
"Ryoma, wait!" Keigo called out to his model, throwing some paper bills on the table between the unfinished salad and drinks.
The model had suddenly gotten up from his seat and walked away from his ex, leaving behind no explanation why he acted like that. Though, Keigo could guess it was his fault. The things that he said, his explanation, everything, just added to Ryoma's pain and hurt. No wonder the man hated him; Keigo couldn't blame anyone else but him for this.
He rushed outside. Through the rain Keigo managed to spot Ryoma's retreating figure, walking away and probably already half-way to being drenched to the bone. From the tensed up shoulders, to the speed that Ryoma was using - it all showed Keigo just how much the model wanted to get away from him.
Keigo gritted his teeth and after a quick look up, ran into the rain, following Ryoma's path of retreat and trying to catch up with his used-to-be lover. "Ryoma, wait. I really am sorry, but just wait and think about yourself this time."
"Think about myself?" Ryoma muttered after suddenly stopping, thus allowing Keigo to catch up and grab him by his left arm. "Think about myself… Are you mocking me?" the anger, hurt and pain, now so clear and vivid in Ryoma's voice, no longer hidden so deep inside.
"ALL THIS TIME…! All this time…" Ryoma started off as a yell, but then quieted down to a weak whisper, "All I have been thinking about is myself and Shuya and you… YOU! YOU JUST SUDDENLY… show up and start to…" the man was suddenly lost in his own words, so utterly lost and confused. His breath was ragged, eyes unfocused and boring into the wet concrete beneath their feet.
Keigo stayed silent, this was not the right place to make more hurtful comments. That much he knew. He merely refused to let Ryoma go. "Ryoma…"
"Let go." It was quiet at first, the rainfall even managed to muffle the sound, "I said, let go!" the high pitch of Ryoma's voice told that he wasn't far from raising his voice again.
The rich man that was holding Ryoma's hand so tightly couldn't force himself to let go. Who knew what the model will do now, where he will go and when he will get home. In this weather his conscience told him to ignore the model's wishes. Even if he will be hated even more after.
"I SAID LET GO OF ME ATOBE!" the sudden, high-pitched yell that came out of Ryoma's mouth surprised even the few people that were out in the streets and walking past the two. The model was breathing heavily now and had his head bent down, the wet, black strands of hair stuck to his face.
He looked pathetic.
"I won't." Keigo said after a moment, his voice barely managing to be louder than the pounding of the rain. "I will not make the same mistake for a second time. Even if you will just hate me more because of my actions right now."
Ryoma started to tremble and fell on his knees. Only his left hand hung helplessly in the air because of Keigo's hold. "What do you want from me?" Ryoma managed to ask in a shaky voice, his face now hidden from Keigo's eyes, "What the hell do you want from me?"
"I don't know myself. A second chance maybe?" a bitter laugh escaped past Keigo's lips after those words. When Ryoma didn't answer him the rich man sighed and pulled the soaked model up from the ground. "For now, I just don't want to leave you like this."
"I hate you." Ryoma whispered back, not caring what was happening anymore, "I really, really hate you." He didn't say anything after that, just allowed his employer to pull him up. Ryoma no longer had the energy to fight; he was just tired of it all.
Keigo smiled a bitter smile. "I know."
What happened next was a mistake. It was a mistake. But after just a glance at those suddenly so hollow and dull golden colored orbs and the way they raised to look up at him, the way the pitch black locks of hair stuck to that frighteningly pale face, the way that those lips stood put on the wet skin… It was all so frighteningly enchanting to Keigo.
So he just acted without thinking about it first.
Keigo moved down, his free hand going up to cup Ryoma's chin and lift it up a bit, just like he used to when they were still happy and still together, and leaned down to the beauty in his arms to plant a soft, experimental kiss on his lips.
The shock that flooded in the eyes of the model was like a reminder of reality. The way that Ryoma froze still and then, as realization dawned upon him and the feeling of those cold lips against his own cold ones finally sunk in, he pushed his hands against Keigo's chest, clutching the wet fabric of that expensive jacket, and tried to push his ex away.
But Keigo didn't budge. He merely pulled Ryoma closer to himself, the model being far too weak against Keigo's strength, and changed his kiss from a simple touch to the lips, to a deeper and a bit more sensual kiss. He could feel Ryoma's weak struggles and the way that his body trembled, whether from the desperate tries to get away or like, he couldn't tell.
It was all that he had wanted. The unforgettable taste of Ryoma's lips, his skin and the familiar feeling of the man's body in his arms, it was as if those years had never happened. It was like they had never been apart. This feeling was all that he had craved.
When he pulled away and let go of Ryoma there was a loud slap, even the cold rain didn't hide the terrible sound of flesh gazing against flesh. They both froze after that. Ryoma panting hard with his left hand in the air, while Keigo stared at the model, his eyes wide and right hand slowly going up to his bruised cheek.
"Die." Ryoma finally managed to get out. He glared at Keigo, those golden eyes dancing with wild and uncontrollable fire, and then turned around and walked away.
The chilly autumn wind and rain combined securely covered the view of Ryoma's retreating figure from Keigo's eyes as soon as he was a few meters away. Keigo could only stand and watch, the bruise on his cheek reminding him of the bitter pain that was still so vividly clear in Ryoma's heart. As well as his own.
"Fuck." He cursed and barely kept himself from sinking on the ground.
He didn't know when he had finally gotten home. He just knew he was freezing and wet and hurt and confused and… In turmoil of emotions that he thought he wouldn't be able to feel, or more precisely, won't be feeling for a long time still. Because he had promised himself to never let that man take control of his life again.
"Shit." Ryoma whispered in a low voice, the word eerily bouncing off the walls of the chilly stair space of his apartment building. "Shit…"
His fist connected with the wall and it took all of his strength to not to slump on the staircase right there and right now. It was all Keigo's fault and he would have never had to feel like this again, if only he had refused to go with the man. He had been a complete idiot to think that talking to Keigo about the 'good old times' would end normally.
"Damn him." Ryoma muttered again and took deep breaths to calm down. His body was shaking from the cold and his wet state didn't make it any better.
The model slowly walked up the stairs, trying to fish his keys out of the wet pocket of his jeans. Thank god he had forgotten his wallet and phone at home on the morning, otherwise he could have might as well say goodbye to his money and contacts. And without those, it would be hard to get by. Knowing that getting back the most important names in his contact list would be near impossible later on.
When Ryoma finally got to his apartment's door he had started to get a bit dizzy. He had a hard time to actually get the door to open and when it did, he simply stumbled inside, the things around him turning into a blur of colors and shades. Right now, he didn't care about the door that had been left open, or about the angry neighbors he will have to face tomorrow, or about the presence of foreign cologne's smell in his apartment.
Right now, he just wanted to sleep and forget.
"..Ma… ake.. p… Ry…m… Ryoma! Wake up!" someone shook him hard, but the seemingly fragile webs of sleep didn't let up. The shaking got harder and the voice clearer though. "Wake up, damn it!"
The voice sounded strangely familiar, but in Ryoma's state of mind he still couldn't quite figure out why. His head hurt, from what he could make out between the sleepiness and the slight ringing noise in his ears, and he was still cold and probably wet too.
"Oh screw this." The still unknown person said in English, Ryoma finally got around that detail. Then he felt himself being lifted from the ground and taken, or more like pulled, deeper into the apartment.
Slowly he opened his eyes, after deciding that it would not be good to stay like he was and sleep, and whined when the artificially created, bright yellow light stung his eyes. The pain on the back of his head also got a bit clearer and the world around him became less likeable.
"Decided to finally get up, huh? Took you long enough, damn bastard." The English speaking person, whose identity Ryoma still couldn't quite pin-point, muttered and threw the soaked model on the couch. "Maybe it's a good thing I just happened to get here today, huh? I will be waiting for 'thank you' gifts from you, princess." There was a good natured laugh at the end.
Ryoma groaned and sat up, the owner of that annoyingly loud voice now clear and glared at the blonde man he called his best friend. "Not a princess."
Kevin only smirked an left the room, probably to get a clean and dry towel for Ryoma, who, in the mean time, got up and wobbled his way to the small table in the corner of the room, where the pills and bandages and all that stuff was kept. A bit of Tylenol for his head and some Theraflu for his possible cold.
"It's not a good idea to drink all that stuff at the same time, ya` know." Kevin drawled out from behind him and threw the towel on Ryoma's head, "Dry off and change first, after that you should check your phone. It's been making noise ever since I got here."
"Thanks." Ryoma gave his friend of his half-smiles and disappeared in his bedroom. The model was thankful to his blond friend for not trying to find out what was going on with him right now, Kevin knew that Ryoma would tell if he wanted to and it is no use to try and force the explanation out of him.
And it wasn't like this was a first time that something like this has happened.
Ryoma did everything slowly - from drying himself off, to getting into dry and warm clothes. Then he reached out for his phone, ignoring the numerous unanswered calls and messages that flashed on the screen. Just when he was about to call back to whoever had called him last, his phone flashed again, and the familiar tune he had set for Ryoga filled the room.
He picked up, "Yes?"
"Thank god you finally picked up. I was trying to get a hold of you for the whole morning." Ryoga's voice came from the speaker. He sounded strangely tired and worried - something that didn't happen often. "Can you talk now?"
Ryoma sat on his bed, not knowing what else to do, since Ryoga's way of speaking made him worry. "Yeah. What's wrong? You sound… strange…" he coughed after saying that.
"Like you sound any better. It's just that… Shuya got sick all of a sudden,; we're at the hospital right now, so don't worry. I just wanted to let you know." Ryoga sighed, the chatter of a hospital now clear in the background.
Ryoma's eyes went wide and he bit back the endless questions and worries that had now taken the place of the bitter memories of Keigo in his mind. He sighed a shaky sigh and covered his face with his right hand's palm, the hand placed on his knee and supporting his head. "Is he ok now?" Right now Shuya was all that he could think of.
"He's ok, the doctors took care of him. Don't just come rushing over here over, you have to take care of your job and the other matter now." Ryoga calmed his little brother down, for he knew what usually was going on in Ryoma's head at these moments. "If the brat is your kid he can handle it, trust me, I take care of him for you."
"Just, let me know how he is doing and if things get worse… I'll leave everything and go there. Since it's getting harder not break down." Ryoma laughed a bitter laugh, once again remembering the way Keigo's lips had felt against his own, how they tasted of rain and everything he had wanted to feel. "It just keeps getting worse."
Ryoga didn't say anything back. Maybe he didn't know what to say, or just didn't want to. In the end, there was a sigh on Ryoga's end and then he simply said: "You're strong, just keep fighting. Now Kevin is there too, he'll help. I will go now; maybe the brat is waking up."
"Tell Shuya that I'm thinking about him." Ryoma managed to say before he closed his phone and fell back onto his bed. Things just got more stressful and complicated for him. "I'm pathetic." He muttered and continued to stare at the dark ceiling.
"Hey!" Kevin's voice made him look in the direction of the doors that led to the living room, "Wanna talk? You will feel better after." Kevin said, not using Japanese, and leaned against the wall. There was a small smile on his lips, a smile that managed to calm Ryoma down.
A/N: This came out longer that I thought it will be. And Kevin is here. And I had to rewrite the rain scene fort about a thousand times, because it never felt right. That is all.