Private Prague: UNPK

Chapter 28

Protague For President

"And I, Gregory Hendrix, Promise to Make New LA Great again!" an African-American man with a small afro spoke on a podium, "It is about time to make New LA for the New LA-ians!" he said.

The crowds in front of him cheered with such fervor.

"When the Nopon come, they're not bringing their best." Greg Hendrix spoke, "They're bringing slackers, gluttons, sloths, and all other revelry. Some, I assume, are good Nopons... but not all of them, amirite?" he gave a smug grin which made everyone laugh.

"How do you plan on keeping the Nopons out?" a reporter asked the black man, who bobbed his head in anticipation.

"We build a wall!" Greg Hendrix pointed to the vast fortifications that surrounded the main New LA, "A wall that separates and limits the flow of Nopons!" he clenched his fist with spirit, "Ever since we arrived on Mira, our wall has been in shambles... We have no defenses on it, like cannons or even missiles! I was one of the few on board that voted yes to the order that let us take Nuclear Armaments on board- but we failed... and now we pay for it." he grimaced, "Too many of our brothers and sisters have fallen to the xenos outside- we must stop the big government! I, as an independent, paying for my own platform- unlike the others- will make this happen!"

"But Mr. Gregory!" another reporter spoke, "Your greatest rival, the Conservative Right-Winged Protague Onnest is also running and paying for his own platform... Why do you say-"

"All Conservatives are discriminative, anti-science, backwater blue collar people." Hendrix spoke and fixed his read tie, "They must learn the peaceful Liberal Left-Wing ways of Government... by force if necessary..." he clenched his fist.

"There you have it folks." a news reporter came on the TV, "This is the latest of Independent Candidate Gregory Hendrix." she shuffled her papers, "Recent polls have shown us that Protague Onnest is leading the majority of the military and elder votes, as they agree of his title as Supreme Commander is one of security and protection, while Independent-Winged Gregory Hendrix has the votes of middle-aged and independents, and his title of President fosters more sense of balance and leadership. The Left-Winged Candidate Elias Kassimir is leading the polls with the younger generations and the liberals, and his title of Consul fosters more cooperation and independence."

"Politics..." Doug scoffed, "I always hated politics..."

"But Doug." Lin spoke, "You gotta vote, Maurice has passed, and we need a new leader to guide us!" she pointed to the ceiling.

"Who are you voting for, Lin?" Elma asked as she washed some dishes in the kitchen, "If I may ask."

"For Kassimir of course." Lin spoke, "He's going to give us free school and stuff, isn't that the best?" she smiled.

"Free school is going to wreck us, Lin." Doug grabbed a tablet and read it, "New LA barely has its economy out of the water, this extra strain will drag us back down under."

"You're just afraid of new things!" Lin crossed her arm, "You're probably voting for Hendrix... you're the one to vote for him..."

"What do you mean by that?" Doug growled in anger, "I wouldn't vote for that guy even if I had a gun pointed to my head, that guy's a jackass." he snarled.

"Why wouldn't you vote for Kassimir?!" Lin pointed at him, "You're voting for Hendrix, you racist!" she yelled and stomped her foot.

"Hey hey!" Elma called out, "Stop it! Lin, he already said he wasn't voting for Hendrix, leave him- Lin." she paused when she saw Lin start typing in her Holodev, "What are you doing?"

"I'm telling all my friends online that Harrier General Doug is voting for a racist bigot." Lin typed, "Ha! I got you!" she pointed at Doug.

"What the hell!?" Doug growled and grabbed Lin, "What are you doing!?" he tried to grab her holodev, "What did yo-"

"Stop!"

"Give me that!" Doug roared and snatched the device from the girl's hand, "What the hell!?" he exclaimed when he saw the post online, which instantly started getting comments.

I KNEW IT! One comment said.

HE ALWAYS HAD THAT FACE OF A BIGOT. Another added, adding to the anger meter of Doug.

"Lin!" Doug snapped, "Delete this at once!"

"No!" Lin shot back, and an argument ensued.

0000000

"Oh my God..." Elma groaned as she jogged with Prague, "I wish it wasn't election season, Prague... it's giving me such a headache..."

"Then I will not give my analysis of the candidates." Prague reported, "Since I am also fatigued... Irina and Gwin have been at it all day..." he sighed and avoided an incoming jogger.

"Oh really?" Elma asked, "How bad was your encounter."

"A total of two thrown flower pots, six thrown pillows, five frying pan swings, and a threat with a deadly weapon." Prague sighed, "And that was in the first round..." he chuckled.

"I got the Never Ending Story on how Liberalism is the best "Ism"..." Elma mumbled, "And how Doug is a racist and how Lin is an easily impressionable child who does not know how economics work... I guess you win..."

"Well, I wouldn't say I won..." Prague grimaced at the memory of a dodged vase, "But... yeah... But I did make an observation... Irina is more leaned to the Left and Gwin is more leaned to the right."

"Speaking of right, what's going on here?" Elma and Prague slowed down to a group of demonstrators in the Park.

DOWN WITH HENDRIX, HENDRIX IS EVIL, HENDRIX=DESTRUCTION, GREGORY HITLERIX where some of the colorful messages displayed by the signs.

"Hmm..." Prague looked at one of the demonstrators, a blonde woman with short hair, accompanied by a man with a mohawk. These two people quickly noticed the android.

"Hey! It's him!" the woman excitedly said and ran to Prague, "It's the UN Representative! Prague, sir!" she saluted him, "It will be an honor if you supported us... And how did you get so young?"

"Uh..." Prague scanned the two, and quickly found out they were former Mediators.

"Hey, isn't that-" the man pointed at Elma.

"Oh..." the woman scowled.

"Yes, I am the wife of Candidate Protague Onnest, pleased to meet you." Elma smiled and waved.

"Look, it's the wife of the Conservative!" the woman pointed at Elma, causing the rest of the demonstrators to turn and gasp.

"Why are you so against change!?" a man shook his fist, "You all are backwards!"

"Traditions are meant to change!" another woman added.

"Are you on her boat too?" the blonde woman asked Prague, "No wait, you're an android, you're too smart for those people." she chuckled.

"I do not understand." Prague looked blankly at her and then at Elma.

"They think all Conservatives are dumb due to the high prevalence of-"

"Anti-Scientific thought." the mohawk man chuckled, "Do you know they believe some magic man started everything and then let it become all we see today? Ha!" he scoffed.

"Actually Intelligent Design and Subsequent Evolution is the best explanation for origins I can percieve." Prague spoke, causing the demonstrators to gasp.

"Not you too!" the woman gasped, "I thought you were a super intelligent robot!"

"I am... I am telling you what is most feasi-"

"Relax, he's not a scientist." the mohawk man interrupted to reassure the blonde woman, "He doesn't know anything, know let me post this on my blog." he pulled out his holodev.

"Actually I have reviewed the documents and finding of top scientists throughout Earth History and my-"

"Those aren't scientists." the blonde woman scoffed, "Ha!"

"But they have PhDs in their fields-"

"Hahahahahahaha!" the two started laughing.

"Huh..." Prague sighed, and was patted in the back by Elma, who shook her head.

0000000

"After a thorough search and analysis." Prague told Lao, "I have found out that I despise politics." he grumbled.

"Let me guess, Lin got to you." Lao chuckled as Prague nodded, "Yep, she's so zealous when it comes to this, you should see all the posts she's made online... They basically have thousands of likes..." he looked at his holodev.

"I've seen them all, don't worry." Prague muttered, "At least Protague is winning." he checked the polls.

"Yeah, I voted for him." Lao muttered, "But don't tell Lin... she'll probably kill me for being so 'insensitive and close minded', or 'not politically correct' in my way of life."

"My favorite is the 'tolerance' talk." Prague chuckled.

"OH That one." Lao's eyes opened, "Yeah... that one's marvelous..." he cleared his throat, "'Lao, you have to be tolerant of all people, even if they don't believe what you do!'" he imitated Lin.

"Heh." Prague robotically laughed.

"Yep..." Lao took a sip of his coffee, "I have to be tolerant of other people while being intolerant of myself... when does it end?" he sighed.

"Anarchy?" Prague suggested, "Wait... that's even worse..." he grumbled, "Well, I'm an android so I technically can't vote- Saves me a lot of trouble." he laughed.

"Amen to that..." Lao raised his cup to him.

SM'S Time-

To Reviewer Guest-
I don't want to do a spoils system, and that's the entire premise of this story, spoiler free nearly a whole other background. But to clear up your confusions, Elma is a full human in this version, and after they defeated that Scourge Tyrant, they got their real dilly bodies back. Also, Ganglion should come soon.

For Cormrag Ravenstaff-
I know... Now where you be, man? XBX Needs YOU!

PLEASE REVIEW
Also I do not support any party or affiliate in the US, Mexico, or Canada.
I am a vegan German atheist engineer who crossfits and likes to bash America on the internet.

Just kidding. But really, I do not show political affiliations with anything, this is just a SATIRE guys, please don't lynch me.