Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, no real humans were used to make this story and the characters featured in this piece of work do not belong to me. Also, I do not make any profit from this.
Warning: possible grammar and spelling mistakes, as well as missing letters and/or words.
There will also be detailed sex scenes and possible violence, as well as bad language and slang words. This is/will be an mpreg (male pregnancy) story, so if this offends you please do not read it and turn back now.
Thank you for your understanding.
Chapter Ten: For The Hope.
The world was a cruel place.
Ryoma had learned that more than once already. Whatever things you believe in, whatever you hope to hold on to for the rest of your life - there will be things that will rip you away from them and push you further into the blackness and cruelty of reality.
Because that was the way that the world worked.
So when Ryoma held his own little boy in his hands for the first time he thought - Maybe this world isn't so bad after all? But now, after being told that his little boy had another seizure, another horrible seizure that would close his eyes forever…
The world became a cruel, black place once again.
"Excuse me, sir. Are you alright?" a gentle, yet worried woman's voice interrupted his frail and discursive dreams, nightmares rather.
Ryoma sighed before opening his eyes to the weak light of the airplane saloon. The blonde flight attendant seemed worried about him, though, Ryoma couldn't really understand why. "Yes, just a bad dream. I am sorry for worrying you." He whispered back at her and changed his sitting pose.
"Alright then, call me if you need anything, sir." The flight attendant smiled a genuine business smile and left him alone. Ryoma watched her back as she walked away, those hips swaying more than they should be.
Disgusting. The model thought to himself and sighed again. This was a tiring flight, the nighttime only making it a bit easier to endure. It will be morning when he gets to New York, probably. If only he had stayed there, with Shuya then all this crap with Keigo wouldn't have happened; Shuya wouldn't have been placed in hospital again, maybe. And yet… he just had to go to that damned Japan.
For a long time Ryoma started off into the dark sky that never changed outside the small, round airplane window. His head was empty and no matter how hard he tried nothing worth thinking about, or imagining, came up. Only the surprised and wet face of one Atobe Keigo, with his cheek all bruised and red, sitting on the wet street, the raindrops falling around him haunted Ryoma's mind at this late hour.
And then there was his pail and fragile child, lying on the hospital bed, covered by the white sheets that had the typical medicine smell to them. So many machines connected to that little body. And the doctors announcing the fatal diagnose to Ryoma, a thing that will haunt both him and his son for a long, long time.
The rest of the flight went by in a blur of episodes from when he was awake and the haunting dreams that he had while he slept. Or tried to sleep. It was a blur of everything that he didn't want to see, live through again or be forced to in the future. All that only brought down the heavy weight of the reality that Ryoma tried to forget just for a moment.
The world had become a cruel place for him.
"Ryoma! God, you look horrible." Ryoga called out to his brother when the tired and sleep-deprived model fell though the door of his son's hospital room. The elder Echizen wasn't any better, but at least his outer look wasn't as horrible as Ryoma's.
The newly arrived father only pushed his older brother out of the way, his eyes searching for his son already. "Who the fuck cares about how I look? Shuya, where is he?" the small bed was empty, the sheets looking as if someone had slept in them not too long ago.
"Check up. Don't worry, the brats strong – he's fighting hard." Ryoga answered, his voice low and reassuring. He grabbed Ryoma by the shoulders and pushed the man into the nearby seat, not allowing any objections to fall out of Ryoma's mouth. "But you need to sleep and eat and shower. And have something stronger than water to for a drink."
"I don't…" Ryoma sighed, he couldn't say anything. "What happened?" it was a weak whisper, but there was nothing more that Ryoma could say. He didn't know what to feel – glad that Shuya was ok, or worried about what is to come?
Ryoga also sat down. He leaned back into the chair and looked up at the white hospital ceiling. "At first it was only a few coughs and a temperature. Because that brat is the way he is I took him to the hospital right away. Now…" Ryoga quieted down for a moment and turned his eyes away from the ceiling to look at his younger brother, "Like I told you, complications. For a moment there a machine was breathing for him. It's better now."
"Oh god. Not again." Ryoma buried his face in his cold palms. His hands were shaking lightly, but Ryoga couldn't tell if it was from the cold or the fear that the man felt. "I don't want to go through that horror again. That child… he's been through so much already…"
"He's your spawn. That brat will live though this and even laugh about it afterwards. You, on the other hand… couldn't live after you lost everything, but that was because you had no one to hold you up." Ryoga said, getting up to go out of the small room and take a stroll around to see if they had something to eat. "No one, except me and the brat."
Just then the door opened and the doctors brought in Shuya, who immediately smiled and called out for his father when he saw Ryoma. The three year old refused to let go of his dad, so doctors had no choice but to inform Ryoma of his son's condition while Shuya himself was present. They usually didn't do that, but…
They could see that both the parent and the child had missed each other so much.
Kevin didn't care what Keigo wanted from him and he couldn't care less about what the Japanese will do to him. So what if the man will fire him? He's a popular fellow, others will want him. If the Japanese will start to yell at him, so what? He has long since learned Ryoma's skill on ignoring people he didn't like. Sometimes it was a good thing that his best friend could be so ignorant of the people around him.
"Smith." Keigo made Kevin pay attention to the situation at hand right now. How that man could make him do that with just one world, was still a mystery to the blonde model.
"What? You want to shit talk about Ryoma again?"He didn't care if he was rude and if the director would feel offended. Because really, the man was an ass and all asses deserved to be put in their rightful place. "Or maybe you want to get rid of me now, since I seem to be on Ryoma's side and disrespect you oh so much?"
The way that Keigo's face twisted up in something reminding of guilt and pain and hurt and anger almost made Kevin rethink his choice of words. Almost. What Ryoma had been though, what he had to bear for so long and all the insecurities that he feels right now… It was all the fault of that man and that man deserves to know it.
Keigo took a deep breath before talking again. "I was an asshole, I know. Ryoma deserves so much better, I know that also. But, I cannot let him go. I need him. And I was a fool that I could not see this sooner." It was like a confession that he had held in for so long.
"You don't deserve him."Kevin hissed, the blue eyes glaring icy daggers at the rich man, "Not then, not now. Not ever. All that you did… He was so close to breaking down completely. The only thing that kept him from sinking was his brat." Kevin knew that Ryoma wouldn't want Keigo to know about Shuya, but this was the only way to make the man to finally back down. At least, that was what Kevin though.
"That's why I want to change everything, damn it!" Keigo suddenly yelled, standing straight up and banging his hands on the desk. "I want to take that place in Ryoma's life that I missed to take. I want to be the one that can hold half of his burdens… I want to see his smile one more damn time damn it!" The purple-haired man's breath was coming out in short puffs; those blue eyes had darkened to black.
"I just want to see him smile again. That is it." Keigo forced out of himself and fell in his chair again. He covered his face with his hands, sweaty and cold, and sighed. "But what the hell can I do? He no longer trusts humans, much less me."
Kevin stayed silent for a while. He looked at the pathetic excuse of the man that he had once known as someone that couldn't be moved by such fragile emotions and that could withstand any kind of hardship thrown his way. Was that man really the one he used to know and this wreck the same human being?
The blonde tch'ed. "You're both damn fools." he took one of the pens from Keigo's desk and twirled in his fingers. "You do realize that the only man in Ryoma's life right now is his son, right? You have no place in it anymore." The model wanted to see the Japanese suffering a bit longer.
"Son… Of course I am aware that… Son? That must mean that he has someone special after all. That he trusts a human after all." The way that Keigo spoke was as if he had finally placed all the pieces of the puzzle together. "So maybe, he does not need me after all. But those eyes, those golden ambers, they do not shine like they used to."
"You moronic asshole!" Kevin suddenly yelled and was already standing on Keigo's desk, the front of Keigo's shirt in his hand. "You actually think that Ryoma would be willing to start a new relationship right after the crap that you had put him though? He's not you."
The surprise that had taken over Keigo was mirrored with the hate that pulsated though Kevin's blood. The dumbstruck met the freezing rage. The way that Kevin's hands trembled showed that the blond model was using all of his willpower to keep himself from hitting the Japanese.
Keigo found himself again, and the surprise was washed away with the coldness of anger that wasn't as large and destructive as Kevin's right now, but could still make fear show in the people around him. "Let. Me. Go." Keigo's voice was even, emotionless and commanding. He grabbed the wrist of Kevin's right hand, the one that was holding his shirt, and squeezed. "Now."
"Fuck. You. Bitch." Kevin answered in the same tone of voice that brought fear to those that had angered him. His face had twisted in anger, eyes as cold as ice. It was as if the very presence of Keigo angered him.
With one swift movement Kevin had pulled back his left hand, fingers already balled up in a fist and swung it forward. The awful crack that followed soon after his fist connected with Keigo's face echoed in the empty and dark office room. Blood now covered the bruised skin of Kevin's left fist and the front of Keigo's shirt, along with a part of his face.
The rich Japanese man touched the warm liquid with his fingertips and then looked at it with wide eyes. This was probably the first time in a while that he had seen his own dark red blood. If not the first time in general, since people of high-class like he himself, did not shed their own blood. They only ordered others to do so.
"That idiot I call my best friend still loves you, of all people. He hasn't had anyone since you and he doesn't need anyone." Kevin said, not caring they there was a chance that he had broken the nose of the man that had hired him. "I will fucking hate myself for this later but this is probably what Ryoma finally needs to finish once and for all…. New York, that's all I will tell you, ass."
The blond man sent a glare at Keigo one last time and turned around to jump off of the desk. He didn't bother to acknowledge the quiet 'thank you' that followed his back and simply left the room. For one day he had had enough. Enough of everything.
"Atobe-san, you can't move while in that condition. Your clothes are bloody and your nose might be broken. Atobe-san!" Anzu tried to stop her boss. Her black high heels clacked against the wooden floor as she tried to run after her boss in the black pencil-skirts she was wearing.
Keigo didn't care. He had to get to New York, find Ryoma and… And help the model. Help the broken man to get his smile back. And to get back his smile Keigo will have to help the model's son. Because, like Kevin said, that child is probably the only reason that Ryoma was able to live on.
There were nails suddenly digging into Keigo's arm. Anzu had managed to catch him, finally. He could fear the cloth of his jacket ripping. So the Japanese stopped and turned to face his secretary. "Anzu, I have to do this. And a broken nose is the least that I deserve for everything that I have done." Keigo's tone was enough to show that he was in no mood to play games or care for his health and appearance.
The usually business-like woman just stared at Keigo; her eyes searching for something, anything that would help her stop her boss. Some doubt or maybe fear, that unsure gaze or a trembling hand. But there was nothing in Keigo's body language and in facial expressions that would help her in any way.
Anzu sighed, but didn't let go of Keigo's jacket just yet. "If you must. But please, at least change and see a doctor first. Please." It was a quiet plead to think about himself from Anzu. She rarely begged, but when she did, it was from the heart. "Please, Atobe-san."
Keigo looked at her, thinking over her pleads and requests. Finally he sighed. "On my way to the airport. Find Echizen's address and the hospital where his child is. Please, Anzu." He gently pulled her hand away from his jacket and turned to leave.
"Yes, sir." Anzu quietly said and waited for Keigo to disappear from her view to go do what she was asked to. It was painful to love a man that could not love her back, because his heart belonged to someone else.
A/N: I will start to update randomly again.
And the 'should or should not' was about whether or not Keigo should go after Ryoma. And since most of you said should… HERE YOU GO!
Kevin was just so hard-core awesome in this chap again. I am falling in love with him now.
Ayingott ends her retarded rambling with a 'I love you people'.