Authors Note:

I put a lot into this chapter and I hope it isn't too soon to reveal some stuff but I sort of had to for later on. Please do keep reviewing! I always look forward to reading them.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy

All I do is look out at the water in front on me. The wind blows lightly enough to brush my hair slightly to the left of me. It's so calm here. Nothing seems to be real. Nothing in the world is at worry. I still don't feel happy. I still don't find relief. I hear the faint snap behind me. I smile lightly at the sound. "Skyler." I look up ahead of me. He's at it again.

"I can't help myself, Phoebe. This helps me too." Skyler comes up next to me. He's always been into photography and boy was he good at it. There is never a day when there isn't a camera by his side. "You look so deep in thought. I've never seen you like this. So distracted. It worries me, a lot." Something about his tone made me shiver. It wasn't right. "Phoebe, what's going on?" Skyler whispers.

It feels as if I have been slapped in the face. It has finally struck him. The thought of someone other than myself confronting me like Skyler did frightened me. There were days when I was hoping he would ask me what was wrong so I could pour my heart out and reveal everything I'm holding in, but it didn't feel like that. I didn't want to tell him, not now.

"I just had to be away from school," I lie. "They were saying stuff Skyler. About everything and everyone. I couldn't take it. I thought I could handle it but when the people started to stare, I lost it." I didn't look at him. I couldn't bare to lie to Skyler directly.

"Phoebe, I know when you're lying to me and I don't like it." He put his hand under my chin, forcing me to look directly in his jet blue eyes. "Now tell me what's wrong, please?" My lips trembled under his hold.

"I can't," I whisper. "Not yet Skyler, please." I turn away from him.

"So there is something wrong. Somethings bothering you?" I nodded at him softly. "Phoebe, we're best friends. Why can't you tell me what's going on? I hate to see you like this. I need to know that you're okay and now that I know somethings up, I won't let it rest until I know what's happening." I can see the worry in his eyes and it kills me.

I don't want to keep this from Skyler any longer but I don't want to tell him either. I'm scared. Scared he'll run from me. Scared to know that I'm not strong like he always claim I am to be. Scared that my best friend of so many years will just slip through my fingers. I take a deep breath and decide to tell him.

"I've been taking pills." I shakily say. "I'm not happy Skyler. I don't see my place in society anymore. I'm no Teddy. He's the perfect child for my parents. I'm disobedient, always challenging my parents, the tabloids are never ending. I don't even know who I am anymore." I release a deep breath. I feel as if a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulder.

"When did this start?" Skyler looks so worried right now. His eyes never left mine. And I realize that he's still here. Still by my side. He hasn't ran yet.

"Why are you still here?" I see confusion take over. "I thought you'd be gone once you saw how broken I am now. I'm not the perfect Grey you always told me I was."

"Phoebe, you're crazy to even think that I would be gone. You're my best friend. If I left you, I would be broken. I never expected you to be the perfect Grey, your imperfections make you perfect. It's what I admire about you most. You challenge yourself and others, keeping them on their toes. It's very adventurous to live in the Phoebe world." He gives me his all-american smile and I let out a small giggle. I love that smile. "So when did it start?" He's dead serious now.

"Junior year, right after Teddy moved out. I wanted to do more things and Mom and Dad wouldn't let me. Thats when I started to challenge them and soon I figured out that if I'm going to disobey my own parents then what's the point of even doing it at all." I felt my vision blur for a moment. "I started off small, just taking the stuff that can make me sleep. Then when I got use to it, I took stronger meds and started to combine them." I look up to see Skyler anger rush over him. I knew he's fighting to stay calm. Any harm that comes to me sets him off. My safety is his only concern. Even before his own.

"Is that all you're doing? Taking pills?" He says softly. I hesitate for a moment. Thats a lot for me to pen up to him to begin with and to see Skyler this angry, I couldn't tell him the rest of it. I have to let it sink in before he finds out about the rest of the stuff thats going on.

"Yeah, just the pills. Remember the days when I would be so out of it and you would think I was caught up in my thoughts over the tabloids, those were the days when I really took a load. I wasn't Phoebe during the time it hit my system. It was my way of ignoring reality." I felt his hand around my waist and his hand on my cheek. I'm crushed to his chest and absentmindedly wrap my arms around him.

"You need to stop this Phoebe, it's not good. I know it's hard for you to be living up to the expectations of always being a Grey and always in the public eye but what you're doing to yourself, letting the people around you win, isn't the Phoebe I know. You're a fighter. You fight for what's right. You always proved those stupid reporters wrong and you are so bright. Your parents are so proud of you. You're so lucky to have them by yourself, supporting you. Stuff like this will kill you and I can't bare the thought of losing you and I know the same for your family."

Skyler was right. I can't leave me family but the pain I feel is too strong. I can't be happy, I can't be Phoebe. And then I think about Skyler. His parents left him when he started high school. Somehow they were able to get court papers to get Skyler legally emancipated. He's been on his own ever since. I don't know what I would do if I was in his position. Balancing school, work, and time to yourself seems impossible at my age. I don't understand.

"How do you do it?" I pull away from him so I can look at him.

"Do what?" Confusion hit him just like it did earlier.

"Being without your parents. You go to school and have a part-time demanding job. You have bills to pay and papers to write not to mention college fees. Heck how are you going to go to college Skyler? How do you do it? I have never seen you sad for a long period of time. You never let things bother you and I have never seen you stress out. And here I am, having the world at my feet and I'm the one who's at the breaking point. What's the big secret?"

He looks me straight in the eye and I know he's at a lose. I never confronted Skyler about his past. Even when the court war was going on, I never once asked how he was affected by it. He never wanted to tell me and I respected that.

"I don't have a secret, Phebs. And I'm no over the top person either." I pulls away from me completely and looks at the water in front of me. "You have no idea what I have to go through and I don't expect you to either. I don't want to burden you with my problems." That's when I knew. That's the moment that gave it away. Skyler was hurting too. "There's something I need to tell you." He looks up at me.

Worry sinks into me. The glittered that hit his eyes brought tears to my eyes. I have never seen Skyler like this. "What's is it?"

"I haven't been able to pay for my rent and bills for the past 6 months. I've been doing small payments but the owner is kicking me out because it's taking too long for me to pay the full rent and PG&E already cut off my water and electricity. I have until the end of the week to move my stuff out." I watch as a slow tear falls down his face. "I don't even know if I'm going to make it through the school year. Doing papers and keeping grades up are the last thing on my mind. I need to be working so I can stay somewhere. I don't know what else to do." Skyler starts to cry. I pull him to me and let him cry it out.

"You're always so strong Sky. You don't need to be strong right now. Let go. Let it out." I whisper as he silently cry into my hair. I pull down to the grass as Skyler lays his head on my stomach. Slowly, I brush his soft hair with my fingers.

After an hour or so of silence, he pulls away and sits up properly next to me. "I'm sorry." He wipes his eyes with his t-shirt.

"Sky, no one should have to go through what you're going through right now. We're young, we should be free to do whatever we want before we go into the real world. You have nothing to be sorry about. We'll get through this." I blush my hand through his hair again. "I'll help you figure out what to do with your problem and you help me figure out mine."

"Phebs, you don't have to help me. This isn't your problem to solve."

"Right back at you, Sky." I smile innocently as he knows exactly what I'm referring to. "I was thinking," I say distractingly.

"That's never a good thing," Skyer jokes. I just roll my eyes at him.

"As I was saying," we both laugh. "I think you should move in with me. Until things sort itself out and you manage to get yourself out of debt and back onto your feet." I look to see him open his mouth to say something but I stop him. "No, listen. I'll talk to my parents. They love you and respect you. You're already like their own child. And plus, now that you know about my issue, I want you near me, help me take away the habit. I need my best friend, Sky. I need you." I whisper.

"Okay, but on one condition." I rolled my eyes at him. There is always conditions to everything Skyler does.

"What's the condition?" I waited.

"No more secrets or us hiding things from each other. I need to know that you're hurting Phebs." And with that, I nodded. For now, I let Skyler believe that the only issue I have are my pills, but if he moves in then I know I'll have to tell him about the rest.

"No more secrets, I promise."