A/N: Almost there! Thanks, as always, to my awesome beta and friend, Trina109
"I don't know how he does it. Even that hot new Cybercrimes agent dropped by to wish him luck. Nobody wishes me luck- " Tony grumbled.
'What 'hot new Cybercrimes agent'?" Sarah asked.
"Agent Frost- she just transferred in from California. Man I love California babes. Anyway, this one's got a thing for the McGeek. Speaking of McGee, has anyone even seen him this week?"
Ziva and Sarah both shrugged.
"I saw him last night" Abby volunteered. "I dropped by his place to see how his psych testing went."
Tony gave her a speculative look.
"Stop it, Tony. It's not weird; McGee's my best friend. You know that." Abby protested.
"For a guy that was so convinced that no woman would ever want him, he seems to get a lot of female visitors" Sarah commented.
Abby turned to look at Sarah. "He said that?"
She nodded. "A few months ago, just before he went back to work. I thought you knew."
"I can't believe he said that."
"Can't believe who said what?" Tim's voice came from behind the little group.
"Uh... Adams. We were talking about his confession." Tony tried to cover the awkward moment.
McGee gave him a knowing look. "You're a horrible liar, Tony."
Just then the courtroom doors opened, and MPs started ushering people inside. Tony was quick to move to the front of the group, neatly avoiding McGee's questioning. "Saved by the... horn?" Ziva commented.
"The bell, Ziva. Saved by the bell."
Abby was the last to start moving towards the open doors. Shaking her head, she said to herself
"Why would he say that?"
...
The sound of a few hundred people trying to take their seats filled the courtroom. McGee fidgeted a little; he was due to be called as a witness today, the first day, and he wasn't looking forward to having to get up in front of a packed courtroom.
"So. What's going on with you and Agent Frost?"
He looked at Abby, seated beside him. "Um, nothing... we've spoken a couple of times. That's it."
"Are you going to ask her out?"
"What? No."
"Why not? Tony says she got a thing for you."
"I don't want pity, Abs."
She shifted a little in her seat. "I don't think you have to worry about that. I doubt that's her motivation, Timmy."
Something about her tone was... odd. Suspiciously, he asked "Have you been talking to my sister?"
"No..."
He didn't believe her.
"Abby."
She rolled her eyes. "Ok, fine. She said that you were worried. You know. About women."
He remembered that conversation vividly. Incipient panic seized him.
"What else did she tell you?"
"Nothing; that's when you walked up."
He could feel how red his face was. She looked at him sideways. "Quit worrying so much, McGee."
He was saved the necessity of answering by the entrance of the judge. He let his mind wander during the opening remarks. He'd been in two minds about including that aspect of his life in his impact statement. He'd included it, then cut it so many times. It was one thing to admit something like that to your sister, but to the entire world? He'd finally left it out, and hoped that Sarah would never tell anyone that her big brother was so insecure about his personal future. Now, it seemed she'd told his closest friends. He was just glad he'd interrupted them before she could blurt out how he felt about Abby. He gulped. That would be worse than just embarrassing.
After the usual call to order, the judge began.
"Sergeant Samuel James Adams, you have been charged with murder, terrorism, grievous bodily harm, assault on a federal agent, fraud, using a carriage service to unlawfully obtain classified documents..." The list went on. From where he was seated, McGee could see Sarah's eyebrows climbing as the charges were read. He couldn't remember hearing such a long list of charges before, at least not in any case he'd been involved in. They were determined to throw the book at this guy.
And he- and his team- were determined to make sure it happened. He settled in to watch.
...
When they recessed for lunch, the team met at a nearby cafe and were quickly joined by McGee's family. The cafe staff pushed two tables together to accommodate the large group. Sitting in the middle of one side, McGee could hear snatches of conversation all around him.
On one side, Tony and Ducky were educating his sister about the Uniform Code of Military Justice. "I don't get it" Sarah announced. "He's guilty, right? He freely admits it. So why not plead guilty, skip the trial and just go to sentencing?"
"He can't. Military law is a bit different. There's no such thing as a guilty plea in a court martial. Everyone has to go through the full trial."
"But why? Why not treat them the same as anybody else?"
"Because, dear girl, our military personnel are supposed to be held to a higher standard..."
His parents were talking to Gibbs; his dad and Gibbs had somehow managed to find some common ground, despite the disparity in age and background. Every so often he'd hear the tail end of a story that made him wince, usually involving something from Tim's childhood. He guessed he was lucky it was Gibbs they were talking to, and not Tony; although from the look on Ziva's face, she was storing up some of the best to use as ammunition later.
Beside him, under the cover of all the conversations going on around him, Abby asked "Do they read your statement today, McGee?"
He shook his head, grateful for her discretion; he hadn't told anyone else about the statement, afraid that they'd want to read it. Or worse, think badly of him for what it contained.
"Not until sentencing, Abs. I'll get called as a witness later, probably tomorrow after you guys. I think they want to get the serious charges over with first."
"McGee. Grievous bodily harm is serious."
"Not as serious as murder and terrorism, Abs."
She nodded. In one of her lightning quick changes of subject, she asked "Why are you so worried about women?"
Inwardly he damned his little sister. "Ah, well, um, because of this." He gestured to his misshapen shoulder. "I never really had a good track record with women anyway, and now... Well, what do I have to offer? A permanent disability and the possibility that I won't have a steady job?"
"McGee. Don't you dare sell yourself short like that. You've got a lot more than that. All the rest is window dressing. And you'll get your badge back." She grinned. "Besides, there's someone out there for everyone. Even Palmer."
He had to laugh at that. Palmer getting a girlfriend had been quite a shock to everyone.
All too soon, the lunch break was up and they returned to the courtroom.
...
McGee was determined to sit through as much of the trial as he could. The team had been given the week off active duty due to the necessity of testifying, so he could watch without feeling guilty about work piling up back at the Yard.
So he was there when Abby testified, walking the 3 member jury panel through the forensics. And when Keating described the destruction of Adams' house. It galled McGee that Keating could sound so blasé about nearly killing his team member, but he accepted that Tony wouldn't have been allowed to testify about that blast; he'd never gotten a good look at the tripwire, after all.
However, Tony did testify about the explosion at the Navy Yard. His description of the race to save hundreds of innocent people from the massive bomb, and its aftermath, was so harrowing that many people left the courtroom.
He was there when Adams' lawyers tried to use an insanity defence. He listened to their words with rage boiling inside of him, and hoped that the jury panel felt the same way he did.
He was there when the case was finally, after 4 and a half days of testimony, handed to the jury. The moment the judge recessed the trial, he called the rest of the team, they'd been there with him most days; the defence had rested earlier than expected and taken them all by surprise.
So he was there with his team and his family when Adams was found guilty. He had the support of Abby on one side and his sister on the other when his victim's impact statement was read out in court. And he was there when Adams was sentenced to death.
It was over.
...
After everyone had left the courtroom, McGee remained. It was over. He should feel relieved, ecstatic, anything.
Instead he just felt terribly drained.
A man was going to die because of him. 'No' he corrected himself fiercely 'not because of me. But because of what he did to me, and to other people.'
It was hard to concentrate on the other people that had suffered because of Samuel Adams when so much had changed in his own life. He'd never be the same person he was 6 months before. He now had to live with the scars, both inside and out.
He'd just about come to terms with it. And maybe, one day, he'd even find the courage to sit down and tell Abby exactly why he wouldn't ask Agent Frost out.
Now there was just one thing missing.