Being Arizona

Chapter four

Did someone say that Jackson got a transplant and is now recovering well? Oh wait, I did! I was so happy- I honestly thought, for a few hours that it was a lost cause. We'd had to tell Melinda that there was little to no chance- and then the chief waltzed in with new bowels. Well, news about new bowels. He didn't actually have the… Never mind. Jackson got the transplant!

Bailey had finally lifted all judgement on me and had apologised for ever having it in the first time. I forgave her easily, because I knew what it was like to get so invested in cases like this, and I couldn't blame her for wanting to do what she believed was right. I reckon she'd be good in peds.

However, the hard cases kept coming. They always did in peds. Stacy Pollock had many different heart defects and had had so many surgeries that it was nearly too much on her body. It was heart-breaking to have to tell her and her parents that she'd probably never leave the hospital bed- what kind of life was that for a nine year old? But then Bailey had come in with the genius idea- a backpack! Genius, right? Stacy could actually leave the hospital. I still don't know why Bailey denied that she was good in peds- even Dixon agreed that she wasn't a general surgeon. But I couldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to. But I could make her consider.

Anyway, to celebrate Stacy's, and Jackson's success, I decided to go to the bar that that nurse had told me about. A lot of people who worked at the hospital went there, so I arranged with a few new friends to meet up there for some drinks. Of course the first questions my mom had asked on the phone everyday were about the people, so I decided to make a few friends. So here I was, in a bar with a bunch of people I hardly knew who talked about things I didn't know about. It wasn't that great. However I put a smile on my face, like I had been doing for weeks now, and played along.

After a while though, it just became boring. I was bored. Ugh. I hated being bored because it gave me time to think and thinking was the thing that I was avoiding. I noticed someone walk past me, and I identified that someone to be Callie Torres. I could tell she was upset and I swore I saw tears. I acted like I hadn't noticed her for a few minutes before giving up and deciding to see what was wrong with her. From what I heard, she could use a friend. I mean, she had friends, but one more couldn't hurt, right?

"Hey." I said casually as I walked into the bathroom where she'd escaped to. It was dingy and smelled faintly of pee, but that wasn't what I was going to concentrate on right now. Callie hadn't gone to the bathroom0 she was fixing her makeup and had obviously been crying.

"Hey." She replied back, and I could tell that she was forcing her voice.

"Ortho, right?" I asked, trying to make some small talk. Yup, I was trying to make small talk in a bar bathroom. Nice.

"Yeah. Right, hi." She said, obviously not paying much attention. She seemed to be in a hurry to get out of here.

"I'm Arizona Robbins, peds surgery." I announced, rolling my eyes to myself. I could at least wait until she was done crying. "I've seen you at the hospital. Are you okay?" I frowned, deciding to address the fact that there was something wrong. The minute I mentioned that I'd seen her at the hospital her face dropped, making it clear that she was worried about the rumours. But she had no reason to be.

She turned round to face me. "Yeah, no, I'm fine, I'm… I'm fine." She stumbled over her words, making me smile.

"People talk." I blurted out, slapping myself internally. Who says that? Oh, right, me. "Where we work, they talk. A lot. So for the sake of being honest, I think I should tell you that I know things about you." Really? Could I sound any more like a nosy teenage girl? "Because people talk."

Her face dropped more and her shoulders slumped. "Oh. You mean..?" She asked referring to George and Erica and everything that had happened. I nodded. "Terrific." She mumbled sarcastically.

"It is, actually! The talk." I exclaimed, trying to get her to smile. "People really like you over there. They respect you, and they're concerned, and interested… They really like you. Some of them really like you." I whispered, finally getting a smile from her. It was a nice smile, even if it was forced. "It's just, you look upset, and I thought you should know, the talk is good. And when you're not upset, when you're over being upset, there'll be people lining up for you." I finished, and she laughed sarcastically, as if the idea of people being interested in her was ridiculous.

"Wanna give me some names?"

What I did next surprised me. In a dirty bar bathroom, without even knowing her properly, I leaned in and kissed her. I kissed her! I remember one time I'd done that before in high school at prom, and the person had run away. Great. But Callie showed no signs of running.

"I think you'll know." I smiled brightly, and a smile spread across her face. I congratulated myself on the fact that it wasn't sarcastic or forced, but genuine. I smiled once more before walking out. I just walked out! I should've bought her a drink, or… Oh well, it was too late. Wait! What was I gonna do if she came back out here? Awk-ward. Okay. Since I didn't buy her a drink I paid for her tab before saying goodbye and leaving.

The days that passed went slowly. Very extremely slowly. I hadn't seen Callie around at all, and when I finally did see her she admitted to avoiding me, and then asked me out on a date. A date! I hand' been asked out on a date for ages. And me, being the complete asshole I was, said no! What the hell? I had a reason, I guess, What if I agreed, then we got more serious and ten she decided that she didn't want this and went back to men? I'd had too many experiences with that. I'd been ditched too many times and been hurt way too much. Still isn't a good enough reason.

And I'll thank God for very kindly making everything worse. Apparently when you call someone a new-born it really pisses them off, not that I could blame Callie. I'd asked one of the nurses put on a date on impulse, just to rid my mind of Callie Torres. But I found my mind wandering to her anyway, her face, her hair, he lips… Her. To be honest I think me and Julia both knew that this date wasn't going anywhere, and that fact was secured when Callie went all 'say anything' on me. I couldn't blame her. I was an ass. Or a bitch. Take your pick; I'd heard it all before. In school, in med school, during residency, all the damn time.

I really should give her a chance… I mean, I could be wrong. She didn't seem like she was going to run. Maybe I was just being presumptuous. I probably was. Okay… I spent most of the next day trying to find a way to apologise to Callie without begging or making myself seem like an idiot. Too late for that apparently, because I got my ass handed to me by a second year resident. Turns out the patient had ARVC. Today was just not going well for me.

However, things started improving when I found myself in an elevator with Callie. Do I ask her now? Or do I wait? She seems pissed it me. Of course she is. She doesn't say something. Oh crap… Screw it, I was doing it.

"I've had quite a day. Got by ass handed to me by Alex Karev, second year resident. Which is humbling, for a surgeon, especially for a know it all-"

She cut me off. "You don't have to do this. We don't have to friends, or whatever. It's a big hospital, lots of floors, lots of people. I'm okay with doing that for the next few years…" She trailed off, and I found myself getting just a smidge frustrating. She wasn't hearing me.

"You're not hearing me, Calliope. Sometimes I panic in the moment and call it wrong. I misjudge a situation. So, if you're up for it, I'd like to take you for dinner." I said confidently, but internally I was freaking out. I wanted this to work, I really did, oh my god… Panicking. I continued to look at her expectantly.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe." She replied casually, starting to walk out of the elevator. Maybe? What did that mean? Do I ask her? Or do I wait? I was going nutso.

"Maybe?"

She turned round to look at me with her arms folded. "Yeah, my schedule's kind of insane right now, so… I'll get back to you." And with that she walked off. She just turned me down. I'd asked people on dates before but I'd never been turned down. Maybe there was a reason for this. Anyway, whatever the reason was soon left my mind when he stopped the elevator with her hands, his time wearing a smile.

"How's, uh, tomorrow?" She asked nervously, her nonchalant attitude far gone. I just smiled at her, figuring that would say enough. She smiled back at me and I celebrated internally as the elevator started moving. I resisted the urge to fist pump the air and just stood there smiling like crazy.

I spent the next day stressing out. Supremely, completely, royally stressing out. I'd never been like this before a date before, which told me that this one with Calliope was important. There had to be a reason I was stressing over clothes. Speaking of which, what the hell was I supposed to wear? I'd texted her earlier to tell her I was taking her to a restaurant. I'd asked my new friend Jackie if she could recommend anywhere, and she'd suggested a little restaurant right next to the sea, which was really fancy but pretty cheap.

So what exactly do I wear? A dress. What dress? I had no clue. Do I accentuate my boobs, legs, or bum? Not all three, which was trashy. I didn't have a dress that did two. In the end I decided on legs, since it was a fancy sophisticated restaurant- it had freaking live piano music. That didn't sound like the type of place where I'd show off my boobs. I finally chose a dress, which I was proud of myself for remembering.

It was a bright with A-line which fell to just above my knees, and had thick straps. I paired it with a pair of red heels which I didn't even remember owning let alone packing. A lot of stuff that I had back in Baltimore I'd thrown out or given away, and I'd just kept everything I wanted and needed in boxes, which were scattered around the apartment still to be unpacked. What can I say? I was good at procrastinating. I curled my hair slightly and put on a light layer of makeup- just enough that it wasn't obvious.

As promised, it turned up outside of Callie's apartment at 7:55, five minutes early. I was nothing if not punctual. She was looking stunning in a simple black halter dress, with a pair of killer sandal heels. As soon as I saw her my eyes darted to her legs, and when she coughed I blushed and forced myself to concentrate on her face, which was also stunning.

"You look amazing." She complimented as she grabbed her back from a table that sat right next to the door.

"As do you. You ready to go?"

The food at the restaurant was uh-may-zing. I hadn't been at any of the restaurants in Seattle, but if all of their food was like this then I could see myself living here for a long time. Our conversation flowed easily, and little by little I could see her opening up to me, which I patted myself on the back for, and I smiled as she told be stories about crazy surgeries.

"It's a miracle he still even has his legs." I concluded for her as she finished telling me the story of a farmer who'd been crushed under the back wheels of a tractor.

"It was so cool. Well not for him, it probably hurt like hell, but for anyone else." She laughed, taking a sip of wine. We were currently in the middle of dessert, and I was having such a good time. We'd up until recently been playing a version of twenty questions, and I found myself learning little pieces of information about her- she had a pet ferret for nine years, she hate being called Calliope (which of course made me continue calling her it), she though popcorn was stupid, she grew up in Miami, and she had never missed a single Superbowl.

At the end of the night the hardest thing I had to do was say goodbye. We shared a sweet kiss at her apartment door and went our separate ways, and on the way back to my car I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, or her smile out of my head. Ugh, that was sappy. But it's the truth. Maybe Seattle was changing me, because I was never like this before, but then again I'd never fallen for… wait. I wasn't falling for her.

Or was I?

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Aloha, people of earth and Mars and aaaaanyyy other place you may come from! Hi! I loved writing this chapter, I love Calzona, and I love FLUFF. Feel free to leave constructive criticism, but no hate (*immediately starts picturing Miranda Sings*). I'm sorry, it's been a long day, I'm in a god mood… Yeah. Hope you enjoyed it!

Happy Existing!