Something's scratching its way out
Something you wanna forget about

A part of you that'll never show
You're the only one
That'll ever know

Take it back when it all began
Take your time, would you understand
What it's all about, what it's all about?

Little house- The Fray

I hadn't been able to sleep, so instead Emily came up and unpacked my things with me. I had quickly come to realise she was a very talkative person, she chatted away about people I didn't know, things I had never heard of and places I suppose I would get to go to now that I lived here. She had smiled kindly at the picture I had of me and my mom, she didn't ask questions though or mention it, which is what I like. I didn't like the 'I'm sorry for you loss' comments because they made it all fresh again, the pain would spring up again if someone made me remember that she was gone.

Emily did comment about the picture she found of me in my dance gear, it was at a competition last year. Me and my dance partner Kyle had got second place, the picture was always on show alongside the other pictures of me dancing my mom had in our old house. This was the only one I brought with me though, the others were a little too shrine like for my liking. Emily had cooed over it, saying how cute I looked in my leotard. I danced a mixture of things, my main focus was contemporary, but I did normal ballet, some tap when I was younger and a bit of hip hop here and there but contemporary was my favourite, always had been. I liked the feeling I got when Kyle and I would do the lifts, made me feel like I could fly.

It was coming up to 5pm, Sam hadn't returned and none of these ever present guys had turned up. I was helping Emily make cookies; she had easily made 50 now but insisted we needed more. Then there were chocolate muffins, 30 of them filled the plate. She made a good 70 sandwiches, and had 20 big sharing bags of chips with 6 dips. I had an image in my head of sitting around a campfire 11 obese teenagers with guys hanging over their trousers and five chins hanging around their neck. Emily kept insisting that they would probably still need more, but after going through the 9th loaf of bread and mumbled something about them making their own god damned food in the future.

"If you hadn't already been a winner by not being a threat to the guy's meat, then they will definitely love you for your cookies. They are really good Savannah" She praised me as she bit into one of the white chocolate and oatmeal cookies I had made.

"My mom's recipe, she makes the best" I stopped myself and the lump grew in my throat again. I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't talk about her. "She made the best cookies, she was a great cook" I dropped my eyes from Emily, she was giving a sad smile and she made her way around the counter to where I stood. I didn't want this conversation.

"She also sounds like she was a great mom" Her hand came up on my shoulder and I nodded, she was the best. "It will be ok Savannah, it gets easier I promise" Something in her voice made me feel like she knew first hand, that her words weren't the generic ones everyone else spoke to me but that she actually knew it would. I didn't want to ask, I don't think I could anyway because the lump in my throat was so prominent and painful that I would have choked had I tried to speak. Instead I smiled at her and went on to putting the last few cookies in the tub ready to take to wherever we were having the bonfire.

"I'm going to start loading the truck up, Sam will be home soon to take us down. You might want to get a jacket on, it gets cold down on the beach at night" Emily walked away from me, her happy tone back in her voice. The beach? My stomach suddenly jumped in excitement I had only been to a beach once before and that was when I was 8 and on vacation with my grandparents.

I nodded again and closed the cookie tub before running upstairs to the guest room. My room, I corrected, it was my room now. Just like this was my home now. The stab of pain hit my chest again and I paused as I reached the wardrobe, every inch of my body was desperate for it to all go away, I was forever yearning for time to reverse itself and for me to tell my mom not rush to my performance, to tell her that missing one measly school performance wouldn't kill her. But it had killed her, she was late and she was rushing and because of that, she died. And no matter how much I hoped, wished and prayed that time would relapse and I would have one more day with her. It didn't, this was home now. The Chicago house was gone; the money split into my trust fund and some to Sam to cover costs of him taking care of me. Not that the house cost that much, it was tiny but I suppose it would help when it came to me needing it.

I reached in the cupboard fishing for my coat; I was wearing simple clothes having gone for comfort over style. I had a pair of dark blue skinny jeans on with long sleeve tight fitted cotton top. I chucked a zipped hoody on then my black leather jacket on, it was a cropped on reaching the middle of my back and had patters stitched into the sleeves. My old converse would do for tonight, so I chucked them on and walked back down the stairs to where Sam was now stood holding the tray of 70 odd sandwiches.

"Grab the muffins for me Sav" He called out as he walked through the door, he always called me Sav, the only person who ever did actually. Everyone else shortened it to Anna, he always said Sav. I grabbed the box of muffins and followed him out, everything else was already loaded up so I jumped in the back seat.

"You look pretty" Emily turned and smiled at me, my face blushed at her comment. I didn't take well to compliments, I always blushed. "I can't wait for you to meet Kim, she's the same age as you and she is really sweet. She's Jared's girlfriend" Emily started chatting as Sam got in and pulled out of the yard. It took me a minute to realise what she said, the same age as me and Jared was her boyfriend? Jared looks easily 23/24. "And I think Jacob is bringing Nessie with him, she's like 8 now but she's old for her age"

"She's Jared's girlfriend?" I asked ignoring the Nessie person comment, Sam nodded as did Emily, I thought for a minute maybe I misjudged Jared's age and that he was in high school too but then I remembered he was at work today. "How old is Jared? He looks easily early twenties"

Sam stiffened slightly but shook his head; Emily on the other hand laughed a forced laugh and turned around to look at me. "Oh no, Jared's only 19, he is a year older than Kim. He just looks older because of how big he is, then again they all do" What? He was 19? That was impossible, but then I guess Sam looked mid twenties and he was only 21 so maybe the guys around here aged quicker. Must be the sea air or something. She turned back around and returned to chatting away about whoever it was I was meeting tonight. Their names went in and out, the images of big fat guys going with each one.

I looked out of the window, occasionally nodded and making slight noises when she stopped talking but I was focusing on the trees that whizzed past me, this place was full of trees. It didn't take long until we pulled into a small parking area, there were a few other trucks here and a small red car that looked like it belonged in a scrap yard. The lighting was darkening now as the evening drew on but I could see a fire in the distance illuminating an area of the long beach. It was a very pretty place, La Push, the pretty name definitely fit the actual place.

Sam did a sort of wolf whistle as we climbed out of the car and within a minute three guys were running up the beach toward the car. I recognised one to be Jared but I didn't know the other two. Emily just handed me the muffins again and began walking, nodding for me to join her. The guys ran past not stopping to look at me or greet me in any way and Emily just laughed.

"Don't take it personally; they can just smell the food. The slimmer one is Embry and the tubbier one Quil" She commented and I looked back, they weren't fat, not by any means. My imagery had been off, the Embry one was the opposite, he was slim and defined, not overly muscled like Jared but he had muscles, he was just more toned. Quil was bigger but his muscles weren't as defined, he seemed a little, as Emily put it, tubbier. "I've got to say, you seem very calm for someone about to meet a group of greedy boys, I would be scared silly" She went on chatting as we hit the sand, I had come to realise Emily was a very talkative person. She reminded me of my mom, she was motherly, cooked amazing food and could chat for America.

"I guess I am, scared I mean. Me and groups of people don't mix" It was true; groups of people freaked me out and completely overwhelmed me to the point that I blushed beetroot red when around big groups.

"But surely you have to be in groups for your dancing, like dance teams" She was watching me as we walked down the cold breezy beach. I shook my head and smiled, a lot of people thought that.

"No, I danced contemporary which you can do in groups but I mainly danced solo or with my partner. I was part of a dance group, not a team as such but my dance school. We would do some group numbers but mostly they focused on us as individuals and the partner work. Besides, that was different; I grew up in that dance school and with a lot of the girls there. I've never met these guys before"

"Well, they probably aren't that much different to the girls" I laughed at her comment; she was fairly witty at times. "You think I'm joking, talk about bitchyness and cat fights. I can guarantee you won't leave tonight without seeing one fight break out and one guy go running off to his mom or something along those lines" I smiled at that, now I imagined great big fat guys squabbling over food. They couldn't be that bad I guess, Emily seemed fond of them even when she spoke about how greedy they were.

"And I can bet you that the one running off crying to his mommy will be Embry" Sam's low voice quipped from behind me and I turned to see him striding beside me a big grin on his face.

"I can bet you it won't, I don't go crying to anyone. Don't listen to him Savannah, I'm the tough one" The slimmer guy called out from beside the tubbier Quil and I chuckled a little. "I'm Embry by the way" He called out again and he tried waving at me but dropped a bag of chips in the process causing Quil to stop and attempt to help, only to drop a crate of soda cans.

"Just leave them, it will take them all night to figure out how to pick it up again" Sam laughed as he spoke, I had started walking back to where they were thinking I should help but Sam obviously knew these two better than me so I followed him again and pushed on down the sand. Emily had walked ahead and was setting her trays down on a blanket beside the fire. I could make out silhouettes of people but it was too dark to see properly.

We reached the blanket Emily was at and I dropped the box I was carrying, Sam dropped his stuff too and reached out for my hand before I could kneel down to help Emily sort it all out. "I'll introduce you to everyone before they get too focused on the food they forget your here"

I took his hand, his scorching hot hand. It took a lot for me not to pull out of his grip, it was burning my palm. His skin as hot as Jared's had been, they had to be ill. He didn't seem to realise though and before I could mention it he was pulling me around the fire to where the silhouettes were all stood chatting amongst themselves.

"Hey guys" Sam called out and the group all stopped and turned, my face went hot and I knew I was blushing. For a dancer who performed on stage at competitions, I got awfully embarrassed by attention. "This is Savannah" He was smiling as he spoke and he pushed me more toward them but my heels dug into the sand, maybe I wasn't ready for this. We could do it in little groups, but no he just dragged me closer until I could make out their bodies and faces. My assumptions were off, way off. Not one of them was fat, not one single guy here has a stomach hanging over his trousers. Quite the opposite, they were all beasts. Big, tall, toned, muscled beasts.

"Sav, this is Jacob" Sam started and pointed toward a guy equally as big as Sam if not slightly wider in build. Jacob, as in the one in the same class as me? He couldn't be 18, he was an animal. The guy smiled down at me and extended his hand, Sam dropped mine and I offered it to Jacob. His hand was hot, just as hot as Sam's. They were all sick, that temperature was not normal.

"Nice to finally meet you, Sam's told us all about his little sister" Jacob seemed nice, but then again I rarely thought badly of someone and we had just met, but still he seemed friendly. "This is Nessie" He stopped and turned around but there was no one there. "Damn it, she keeps running off. Nessie" He called out and I caught a glimpse of a little girl running her way around the fire toward Emily, Jacob saw it too and he rolled his eyes a little. "Nessie, not again" He groaned and began running after her, her giggle began then and I realised it was obviously a game the little girl played with him.

"That's Seth" Sam went on and pointed at a younger boy who gave me a big cheesy grin before making a beeline for the food blanket. He too was anything but fat, he was tall and slender, gangly I suppose. He was young, I could tell he was younger than the others but his height and his awkward body build was older. "He's a good kid, you'll see him at school when you start I suppose" I nodded as Sam pulled me along more. Jared was back now and sat with a girl, she was perched on his lap and was twiddling with her fingers, picking old nail varnish off as Jared talked away with a guy who's back was turned. "You already know Jared, that's Kim his girlfriend but I am sure Emily will have you as best friends by the end of the night" Sam gave a quick chuckle at that, but I knew he was being serious. Emily had been going on all day about how amazing Kim was and how excited she was for us to meet. The girl glanced up giving me a kind smile as she clocked me looking at her. She was pretty, in a natural way. She didn't wear makeup and her hair wasn't pristine and in place like the girls back home was. She was plain I suppose, but she was pretty.

A slight whistle brought my attention back to Sam and I saw him click at two boys, very young boys who were play fighting and rolling around in the sand. They were young, very young. They were tall, maybe only 5'6 but their faces easily looked early teens. "And these two pups are Collin and Brady" Sam pointed to each one, Collin was the smaller one, his hair messy and long, his clothes covered in sand whereas Brady was a bit bigger with neatly cropped hair and clothes that were new looking, everything about him screamed mommies boy. They were adorable though, as adorable as two 13 years olds taller than you could be. "Guys this is Savannah, my sister" Sam had been throwing that word out a lot today, sister and brother. Felt nice I suppose, just strange. He had never really referred me as it before.

Before I could say hi the two boys had stepped forward and were proceeding to stare at me with such strain that Collin was turning red. I glanced between the two off them, their eyes scanned in directly on mine and their foreheads creased in hard concentration.

"You feel anything?" Brady mumbled and Collin shook his head. "Paul said it would work" He mumbled again never dropping his eye contact with me.

"Would you two stop it" Sam slapped his hand out hitting Collin on his little shoulder and sending both boys knocking to the floor. "Why can't you be normal for one day guys?" He hissed at them as they started watching me again. "Stop it" He ordered this time, a ring of authority in his voice that I hadn't heard before. But it worked; the two boys quickly snapped their heads down. "Sorry, they umm act weird around girls. Probably have a crush on you or something"

"Last time I listen to Paul" Brady groaned as he pulled himself back up to his feet and sulked off toward Emily who I could see was holding in a laugh as she watched whatever had just happened.

"Paul" Sam shouted and turned toward where Jared was, the guy with his back to us glanced over his shoulder, his mouth turned up in an evilly amused grin. "Savannah that's Paul, the one too rude to introduce himself properly" Sam was annoyed, I could hear it as clear as day in his voice.

His grin widened as he turned to look at my brother, again paying no attention to me. The sight of his face halted me, he was beautiful. I had never described a man as beautiful but he was every sense of the word and more. His hair was cropped but messy, his face had slight stubble around his jaw and chin as if he hadn't shaved today, but it was his eyes that were really breath taking. They weren't just brown, it was getting dark out but the fire illuminated his face and I could see his defined lips, perfectly shaped nose and his eyes. They had a silver streak to them that fired away and danced as the orange light hit them. He was perfectly handsome.

"Fine" He shot himself upwards, his easily well over 6ft tall frame towering over me as he made his way over. He was built like a tree, just as big as Sam but his arms were thicker with muscles, his white top seemed to stretch over him highlighting that he had muscles. "Pleasure to meet you" He stopped as he looked down at me and seeing me staring right back at him.

By this point Sam had given a sort of huff and walked away to where I could hear Emily telling Brady that I was way out of his league anyway and that he should know not to believe the things Paul tells him. But now I heard nothing, I just stared up with a hot blush crawling up my neck as the guy in front of me stared right back, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly gaping as he watched me. Then as quickly as the surprised look on his face came it left, his eyes scanned over me as if sizing me up.

"Savannah" It was more of an angry statement of my name rather than a nicety to introduce himself. His fists clenched and he backed away still staring nastily at me as if I was the most repulsive thing he had ever seen. He turned and stormed back to where Jared was sat now watching the two of us with interest, Kim had been looking too and quickly bounced herself up from her boyfriends lap as Paul dropped himself back down with a scowl on his face. I wasn't quite sure what to do, I hadn't done anything to make him angry but he looked thoroughly pissed off. Kim came bouncing toward me, she seemed slightly nervous and kept looking back to Jared who was whispering something to Paul who was still staring at me with great dislike.

"Uhh Savannah right?" Kim stopped in front of me blocking my view of the angry guy behind her, I nodded and she smiled. "I'm Kim, umm don't worry about him he just gets angry a lot" She added as I found myself peering around her to look at the gorgeous man who was causing a dropping sensation inside of me. "Umm let's go help Emily, she looks like she needs it" Kim was nervous as she spoke, quiet as if shy and somewhat uncomfortable. I didn't want to help Emily, I wanted Paul to stop looking at me like he was, I wanted him to like me, I was desperate for him to stop looking at me like I was a piece of shit on his shoe. I turned anyway; Kim was quiet next to me as we walked to Emily who was currently trying to wrestle Collin and Seth away from the sandwiches. Sam was stood with Jacob who seemed to be pinning the little girl down with his foot while she tried crawling away from him. I wanted to ask Sam to make Paul stop staring at me but he seemed to have not noticed what had happened and I didn't want to sound pathetic so I left it and settled beside Emily and Kim on the sand next to the food, Emily was mumbling about how childish Seth was being while Kim was staring past me to where Jared was. I turned to look only to find him not there, neither was Paul. They were walking off toward the water, Paul was marching his fists still clenched. He hated me.

The idea of him hating me caused a stir of pain in my chest, then I realised the guy didn't know me enough to hate me. He was just being cruel and pathetic. I quickly came to the conclusion that Paul was an asshole.