Being Arizona

Chapter six

Hey guys, I'm sorry this took longer to update! School just started back here which means our band performance at the Usher Hall is soon which also means my exam is soon, and then there's this event that we're playing at next month. It's the opening of a railway and the Queen's gonna be there, so things are pretty nutso.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, and if you read You can call it Home, the next chapter of that should be going up soon!

So this whole thing with Calliope's family was a mess. Apparently we had both underestimated the amount of power Carlos Torres had, and now her whole family was silent. I tried to talk to her about it but she didn't want to talk, she just wanted to call them over 20 times a day in the hope they'd answer.

It was times like this when I was glad that my family had taken it so well. Then again, I guess they'd had time to adjust, even if they didn't know it for sure, but as I looked back it wasn't a surprise to know that they'd known before I'd told them. I remember the day I told them. It felt so good to say it and not hide it anymore. With every person I told it was like a weight being lifted off of my shoulders, and I had Tim through it all.

To be honest, Tim had been the one I'd been most afraid of telling. Although my parent's opinions mattered so much, I knew that I would never be able to get through it without Tim. I wasn't sure how I'd expected him to react, but telling me that he was going to dance so hard at my wedding wasn't what I expected. After his reaction I was more confident.

My train of thought (I never really got that phrase. 'Train of thought'. What, did it miss the bus?) was cut off by my pager going off by my waist indicating that I was needed in the ER. Turns out it was a facial laceration on a six year old, which could have easily been seen to by a resident. Although I had to admit that sometimes I liked to be paged for stitches or something simple because it helped clear my mind, and after Cristina's comment about just pretending to break up, I definitely needed it.

Could she do that? Just flat out lie to her family? Maybe she could. What did that mean for us? As I thought about it through the day, I realised my answer. I was staying. She was kind and caring and badass and I loved that about her. And I would keep loving that no matter what.

So, to take both of our minds off of everything, I decided to make reservations for tonight. I figured we both could use it, just some times to ourselves. A chance to dress nicely since we never got to do that as surgeons and eat fancy food which would beat the cafeteria food any day. I texted Callie to tell her I would pick her up at eight.

"Hey, pretty lady." I greeted her with a smile and flashed her my dimples. I easily took her hand in mine and lead her to my car which was parked just down the road.

The car journey was almost silent, which was unusual. Both of us were big talkers and could normally never shut up when we got together, but Callie didn't make any attempts at conversation and I didn't want to push. So instead I took the time to actually pay attention to the surroundings as we drove. Normally when I drove I was going to work so I was thinking about a case, and any other time I just focused on the road and let my thoughts flow. If my dad had found out that I hadn't done any sightseeing or learning about where I lived her would tell me off, because he was big on that kinda stuff. I guess he had to be, since we'd lived in so many different places.

"So what's going on in the world of Calliope recently?" I asked her. We'd barely been able to see each other over the past few weeks since we'd both been working so much, but then again we were always working like crazy. It was part of being a surgeon.

"Not much." She mumbled looking at the menu carefully. She seemed lost in thought as she scanned the different meals so I just left her to it, calling the waiter over for a bottle of wine. Hey, I wasn't working tomorrow and I was making the most of it. I decided on the seafood platter. Normally I was a bit funny about seafood, but since there were no fancy words I didn't understand in the description then I decided to give it a go.

Calliope however ordered the salad. The freaking salad. I was kind of coming to my own conclusion that there was something up with her because she was acting really off, and the Callie I knew would have gone for a chicken dish, which was why I brought her here. The resident I'd had today had recommended it because of their chicken Marsala, which I knew Callie loved. I watched her closely or a while, taking in how she didn't seem to be listening to what I was saying and glancing at the wall every so often.

"Are you okay?" I asked her with a frown after noticing her check the clock for the fifth time within the space of an hour. She snapped out of whatever trance she'd been in and plastered a big, unconvincing smile on her face.

"Nothing, nothing I'm great." She replied and I could tell she was lying. However I guessed that if she was going to lie about it then she must not want to talk about it. I instead sipped my wine slowly while waiting for her to finish her meal. When the cheque came I signed it quickly and gave him my card, which Callie tried to protest to but I insisted.

The rest of the night hadn't gone well either. She seemed to be in a rush to get home so I dropped her off and waited until I saw her apartment light turn on before I drove away, wondering what could've gotten to her. Was it this whole family thing? But then again she would discuss that with me as she had before. Was it Izzie? I knew she never liked her, but she'd admitted to wishing her dead and now that Izzie was dying I'm sure she felt horrible. I guess I would figure out tomorrow.

When I got home I was disappointed to see that it was only 10:30pm. We hadn't even been out three hours. That sucked. I know I could've just gone to bed and gotten the sleep that so often evaded me, but I decided that the boxes were getting on my last nerve and decided to unpack some of them.

It was late before I even considered going to bed. I wasn't really a big sleeper, and since I was a surgeon I had to be able to run on little hours of sleep. Even when I was a kid I would always be up until crazy hours of the morning t thinking, because even as a kid I thought a lot. As a teenager I thought a lot too and especially now that I was an adult and responsible for people's lives.

As I stared up to the plain white ceiling of my bedroom wall, making a mental note to dust, I thought about Callie and tonight. Was there something wrong with her? Or did she simply just not want to go on a date, and all of this was just a fling to her? I hoped not.

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"Maybe it is."

That hurt. I'd approached Calliope the next day at work and asked her if it was just a fling to her, and she'd replied with maybe. She was picking up extra shifts in the ER which she clearly didn't want to pick up although she insisted she loved it. I'd only seen her a few times throughout the day, but whenever I did I could tell she was not enjoying it in the slightest. There was a massive trauma case involving college students. I wasn't involved in the case since they were all over eighteen, but that didn't mean I hadn't been in the ER. She was shouting and stressing and definitely not enjoying it, which left me the question of why she was acting so weird.

So basically what she was saying that she couldn't get enough of the ER, but she could get enough of me, right? I wasn't just making things up, was I?

For most of the day the paediatric ward was pretty busy. I performed four surgeries back to back and had a kid on life support, but that was normal for me. I also made time throughout the day to spend time buying pudding cups for patients. Normally people questioned why I did it because the pudding cups here were barely edible, but the kids seemed to love them, and whatever it took to make them smile I was willing to do. I liked doing it.

So she loved the ER? Yeah, right. Tell that to her. She was lying on a gurney fast asleep on the OR floor when I found her. She started awake when I started talking.

"I just want you to know that I am hurt. I am hurt, and I am angry. Because, I thought that we had something. I thought that we were going somewhere. And, if you're just sleeping around. If you're just making the rounds on girl surgeons, then I think you ought to know that I..." I rambled but she cut me off.

"We went to a fancy restaurant." She said firmly yet gently. What?

"What?"

"We went to a fancy restaurant, the nicest in Seattle. The salad that I ordered, the salad cost $26.95. The wine that you ordered cost $125 a bottle. I didn't even look at the entrees because I knew I wasn't gonna be able to order one. Because, I was already out 75 bucks, and I don't even like salad." She said, clearly tearing up. I instantly felt bad because I could see where this was going. Why did I have to be so presumptuous all the damn time?

"Oh." Was all I could say. I really didn't know how to comfort her after I'd acted like a bitch all day.

"And then the bill came and you…"

Oh shit. I paid. And she'd even tried to help pay when she couldn't afford it which just made me feel worse. "I paid." I finished for her.

She nodded, tears welling in her eyes. "Do you know what I was doing before they brought over the check? I was counting in my head, trying to figure out how I was going to buy food for the rest of the week if my half was 75 bucks, because I don't have 75 bucks, because my father disowned me. And, has cleared out my bank account. I am broke, and I am exhausted Arizona. I'm working in the ER because I need the money. 6 people died on my watch today and I am fried. I wanted to stay in last night. I thought, I thought that last night would be the night for us. You know? Our night. But, you wanted to go to a fancy restaurant. I can't do that. I can't."

So her father disowned her and I'd been a bitch all day, and six people died on her watch and she was working like crazy and I'd made everything worse. Go me.

I sat down on the gurney beside her and lifted her head up, praying silently for her to stop crying. I hated when she was sad or angry, because all she ever did was for other people and yet she still seemed to get her heart broken. "It's ok. It's ok. Hey, so, we'll stay in, and we'll eat sandwiches."

"You don't even like sandwiches." She pointed out with a half laugh and a smile.

"But I like the girl who has the sandwiches." I insisted completely truthfully. It was true that I didn't like sandwiches; People thought it was weird that I didn't like such a basic thing but I just thought they were weird. However, if it was all we could eat for the next ten years that I'd happily do so.

"Ok. No, you know what... I don't like sandwiches either. I like pizza." She decided, which made me smile.

"I like pizza too."

I was glad that even though I'd upset her I was able to fix it, because there was nothing that I wanted more than to stay inside and eat pizza with her.