Drop his name,
Push it in and twist the knife
Watch my face
As I pretend to feel no pain
Heartbreak warfare- John Mayer
Emily had been right about the food, they guys had demolished every last bit. Sam had to literally wrestle a bag of chips away from Embry so that I could actually eat something. Emily had forgotten to make a non meat sandwich was I was restricted to chips and dip and baked goods, except the baked goods had been eaten when I reached to get one. So chips it was.
"What do you mean you don't eat meat?" Quil asked suddenly as I nibbled on a salted chip stick. I realised all of the guys were watching me now and the blush I had managed to keep at bay all night came rushing back up. my eyes flickered around each one, each confused face until I reached his, his face was mean and full of hate, eye contact with him scorched me and stabbed at me. I felt stupid, I knew I shouldn't care that he obviously didn't like me but I did care.
"She's one of them vegetable people" Seth quickly spoke up, his nose scrunching in dislike as if the thought of someone eating vegetables was gross.
"You mean vegetarian?" Kim was looking at Seth with an amused look on her face, the guys were all really confused at the fact I wasn't devouring the ham and chicken sandwiches.
"Why would you do that?" Embry asked now and I noticed him holding his sandwich close to his chest, like he was afraid I would take it off him. I had only been around them an hour but I had quickly seen what Emily meant; they were all like over grown children. They were funny though, and friendly. Well, all except Paul who had spent the hour under Jared's watchful eye, the whole hour was spent glaring at me while Jared gave me apologetic smiles and mumbled 'sorry' to me as I walked past him. I didn't get why he was apologising, it wasn't his fault his friend was a massive ass.
"Stop questioning her" Sam growled slightly but it didn't help, everyone was still staring at me like I was an alien.
"I just never really liked meat I guess" I shrugged it off but my comment earned a round of exasperated gasps from Embry, Seth, Collin and Brady who looked at me like I had just gone on a foul mouthed rant. Jacob was laughing as he watched them, I had to say, if I weren't feeling so on the spot I would find their reactions funny. "I used to eat it as a kid but it made me gag all the time. I guess I never liked the texture of it so my mom stopped giving it to me and I haven't tried eating it since" I shrugged again and again all the guys eyes bugged out crazily.
"That's so weird, you're like Kim. She eats all this crazy shit like fruit, and carrots and that cardboard stuff for her breakfast" Quil shuddered a little as he said it and I glanced at Kim who rolled her eyes. I guess they didn't like healthy food.
"Ignore them Savannah, they don't eat anything that doesn't come from a packet or contain high levels of E numbers. I can't even get them to eat raisin cookies, apparently it gives them trust issues and they can't trust chocolate chip cookies now" Emily starts laughing from beside me as Sam hissed at the guys to stop staring at me. Most of them did, he had to hit Embry over the head to make him stop but soon enough everyone was back to munching on their food. All except Paul who hadn't had one bite, he was just watching me. He was beginning to make me feel uneasy and I prayed that Sam took notice but he hadn't, he was oblivious to his friend who was giving me death glares. Jared was trying though, but his attempts failed and in the end Kim had moved to sit next to me and was attempting to distract me from the stares.
"So Sam said you're from Chicago" The Jake guy asked offering me an interested smile and I nodded at him. "The Windy City, is it really windy there?"
I laughed a little at that, it was a question a lot of people asked. I shook my head though and his smile dropped. "Not really, it's nice though. I liked it there" My voice turned sad as I said it and I noticed Sam watching me with the sad look in his eye that he had held earlier. I missed Chicago already, it was home, I knew it and I knew a lot of people there but I guess I would learn to know La Push, and its people. La Push would be home one day.
"You're a dancer right?" Jake asked again, he was full of questions obviously. My heart sunk and my stomach gave a nasty lurch. Dancing, the thing I used to love.
"I used to" I was a little blunt as I said it, the pain present in my voice and Sam stared down into the sand at his feet probably knowing the cause of the pain in my voice. He had asked me if I wanted to start a dance school over here when we were making arrangements for me to come, he had said there was one in a place called Forks not far from here but I said no, he tried telling me I couldn't stop just because of what happened but I felt otherwise. I couldn't dance anymore, it hurt too much.
"Claire will love you then, she is obsessed with ballerina's" Quil smiled fondly as he spoke, Claire was Emily's niece I think. Emily had mentioned her today saying I would meet her at the weekend.
"You don't dance anymore?" Kim's polite quiet voice popped up beside me and I turned to shake my head at her. "How come? There's a school here down in Forks, my little sister goes there its quite good"
My stomach dropped again and I felt the lump in my throat threatening to reappear. "I umm just grew out of it I guess" Lie, blatant lie. I had always loved dancing, never missed a practice session. I even went to rehearsal with tonsillitis when I was 11.
"You any good at it? Seth needs to learn some moves, needs to impress a girl at his prom next month. What was her name again? Gertrude wasn't it? Oh wait no that's the school nurse" Embry started laughing and nudging Seth who had turned fairly red at the ribbing he was getting. I wasn't going to answer him but I realised he was genuinely asking because he watched me waiting for a reply. Damn it. Next it would be 'can you show us some moves'.
"I guess, I mean I went to competitions and all that sort of stuff. The dance school I went to was one of the best in Chicago so it was more their reputation than my skill I think"
"I don't think it was their reputation that won you those medals and trophies you always used to shove in my face when I came for a visit" Sam laughed a little, the sad look in his eyes finally lifting and I smiled at the memory. When I was younger I would show off to him, he never did any sport so I took being an annoying little half sister in my stride and would sit there shoving my wins in his face while he fought the urge to hit me.
"Medals huh? So what we talking, third place?" Embry asked again, I hated talking about what I won; it made me feel big headed.
"Yeah some of them were third places"
"Sav stop being modest, you have like three third place ones from when you were like five. She came first place last year and the year before that, then she got second place with her partner and second with her dance group. She's not just good, she's amazing" I had to say, I was a little surprised he knew all that. And so was everyone else, everyone was staring at him with the look of surprise on each of their faces and Sam met it with a roll of his eyes. "What? I do actually listen when you ring me you know why are you always so surprised?" He shook his head at me before munching on his left over muffin.
I underestimated him, I always knew we weren't exactly close and I always knew I annoyed him when he came to visit therefore I always assumed I was a pain in his ass and that he didn't really like me. But I guess he did have some brotherly love for me, then I realised I knew nothing about him. I was a shit sister. "You've never seen me dance, I would hardly say I was amazing" I grumbled, I really hated people building me up like that. It made me feel up myself.
"Have too, you're on YouTube, your mom emailed my mom the link. So actually, I have seen you." He poked his tongue out now, serious Sam having a bit of fun. It seemed to shock everyone else as well because they were all frowning at him as if they had never seen this side of him. I had never seen this side of him to be fair. Then I realised what he said and my groaned all over again. My mom, she was one of those proud moms who showed me off every chance she got so of course she would send everyone she knew the link. I knew I was on YouTube but loads of dancers from competitions were so it never really bothered me until now.
"How are you two related again?" Collin piped up and a round of groans erupted around him, everyone gave him an annoyed look and Sam started shaking his head in disbelief. "What? It confuses me" Collin argued back at the people around him who were scowling and groaning. I wasn't sure why this was happening but they were annoyed.
"I've explained this to you nearly 20 times now Collin. Same dad, although I would hardly use that word to describe him" Sam grunted and I nodded in agreement. I realised the reason for the groaning though, Collin had obviously been told this many times now, but the kid was a cutie so it could be forgiven if he forgot.
"Asshole is a better term" I rarely used bad language out loud but I couldn't control myself if Josh Uley was involved. A few guys chuckled and Sam nodded back at me.
"I like her, I think we can keep her" Embry was chuckling a little and he winked at me as he said it, he seemed playful. I liked Embry; I liked most of them, all except one.
I looked over as a noise that could only be described as an animal growl filled the silence, Paul had gotten up and with one last angry look in my direction had began storming off down the beach, hands curled into tight balls and his shoulder squared as if ready to hit someone, probably me. The guy really hated me.
"What's his problem now?" Embry asked as everyone watched him storm off into the darkness. Me, I was his problem obviously.
"Who knows, probably wasn't enough filling in his sandwich or something" Jake shrugged it off and everyone grinned as if they could imagine him actually flying into a temper over that. He seemed easy to annoy.
"He's just being his usual grumpy self, not getting enough attention so he has to kick up a fuss" Quil joined in now and I glanced at Sam, he was watching Paul with interest but nodded at the comments being made. Jared on the other hand got up and began walking after his friend while Kim simply stared into the sand in front of her. The two of them knew it was me that was annoying Paul, although I wasn't sure what I had done. He was making me feel like shit though. I hated knowing someone didn't like me, but for some reason it hurt more when it was him. I actually felt pathetically desperate for him to like me.
Paul's point of view
I didn't hear much of what they were saying; I only took notice when she spoke. Her soft voice forcing my attention to snap on her, her perfect miss goody two shoes voice that was annoying the hell out of me. She was annoying the hell out of me, I didn't want her, I didn't want to be attached to some spoilt little girl who obviously got everything she ever wanted. I could tell her type just by looking at her, she wore a gold watch around her wrist that had some designer name engraved into it, it looked expensive, she wore a gold heart necklace around her neck too, and then she had perfectly straight hair that was obviously a dye job and expensive looking clothes. Rich kid who now had to slum it here. I heard them talking about her dancing, she was amazing Sam said, he was well and truly blowing her up as miss perfect. First place, medals, trophies. Proper little miss perfect she was. They were all wrapped around her little finger, hanging on every word she said and Sam was the worse. He barely knew the girl, they were only half siblings yet here he was acting protective big brother taking her in and acting like he actually knew her when they only saw each other once a year and he had bailed on their last visit because he didn't want to leave Emily.
"I like her, I think we can keep her" Embry joked now, his eyes watching the girl that sat opposite him. He liked her, I bet he liked her. He had been chatting with her all night, checking her out. My hands began shaking as he addressed her like she was some sort of pet dog who got the seal of approval. I noticed how she blushed when he said it and the sad glint she had worn in her eyes all night changed to a genuine smile. She liked him too.
Not that I cared, I didn't want her. I didn't want an imprint, I'm happy as I am. The way things are now, that's what I want, not her, not some teenage girl bringing drama into my life. I was 21, I needed a women not an 18 year old girl.
She turned to look at me, as did everyone. A growl ripped through my throat as I mulled over the imprint in my head, the way she had looked at me her eyes studying every inch of me, the pain that cross them as I walked away from her. I didn't want to be whipped and tied down like Sam and Jared, that wasn't who I was and she sure as hell was not going to be my little princess. The smile Embry caused dropped from her face instead she looked frightened, I scared her. My wolf growled at me for it, scaring her wasn't what I wanted to do. But then it was, if I scared her she would leave me alone or just leave.
I couldn't take it, I flew up and stormed away from my brothers, from her soft voice and pretty face, I kept going until I couldn't hear her fluttering heart beat anymore or smell her smell of honeysuckle and lemon. I had to get away from her.
"PAUL" Jared, I could hear his footsteps hammering after me but I kept walking, my whole body was shaking. I needed to get away. "Paul stop being such an asshole" He yelled at me as I got to the edge of the tree line that surrounded the parking lot. I would leave my car here, I needed to phase, to let my anger out. But I stopped, he was calling me the asshole? He was supposed to be on my side. But obviously she had him thinking the sun shined out of her ass too.
"Screw you" I growled back at him as he reached me shaking his head like I was the one in the wrong.
"She's done nothing wrong and you've spent all night glaring at her. She doesn't even know you and she's already scared of you, you're an asshole" He growled, she had stuck her nails into him as well.
"Back off Jared, she's done everything wrong. She shouldn't be here" I was shaking more, my hands becoming uncontrollable as I stared down my best friend.
"Oh come on that's hardly fair. She's here because Sam is her only family, it's not like she wanted her mom to die and leave her alone is it? I'm sure given a choice she would be in Chicago, lay off. This isn't her fault, it's not like she wanted it either" He was angry, he was glaring right back at me and it just made me hate her more. She had been here less than a day and she was causing problems between me and my pack brother. She was the problem.
"Don't lay that on me, like I care who died"
"You are such a jerk, such a jerk. Have a bit of consideration, she's lost her mom, been shipped to a place she doesn't know to live with people she barely knows and then you come along and make her feel even more scared than she probably already was. Get your head out of your ass for once Paul" He shouted at me and I had to hold myself back from hitting him, everyone was obviously on her side. Just because I imprint on the girl I now have to drop everything and be her little puppy dog like he is with Kim, screw that. She didn't have to come here, she could have stayed in foster care or something.
"Whatever" I turned and began walking toward the trees, I hated this. I hated her, I hated him, I just hated it. I wasn't the type of guy for an imprint, I didn't want that life or to be bound to one girl forever, I didn't want my life taken over by some little brat.
"Where are you going?" Jared yelled after me, he was pissed.
"Rachels" I growled, I needed to be normal, I needed to forget her and do what I do. I won't be hers.
"Oh like that's going to help. Real mature Paul, just carry on, go screw Rachel or whatever other girl you can find, I'm sure that will make everything better won't it. You're such an ass, why don't you try thinking with your brain for once rather than your dick?" He carried on yelling after me as I ran through the trees and toward the Black's house. I don't care what he said, I don't care about some little girl I just met. I wasn't changing for her, for anyone.
I kept running until I got there, Rachel was waiting, she always does. I looked down on her as I climbed in her window, she smiled up at me fluttering her long eyelashes, my eyes crawled over her body. But it wasn't the same, she looked plain and dull to me as she sat there eyeing me up like I was candy. She didn't look like she used to, she hadn't changed but something in me had, she wasn't as sexy as I once found her. She was plain, boring, average.
Imprint. Savannah. I growled at the thought of the person trying to ruin this, trying to whip me into a puppy on a leash. I wouldn't be like Jared, I wouldn't change for her, I didn't want her. I walked to the bed shedding my clothes as I went, I refused to give in.
I will not be hers.