Ch.21 Too Afraid; Let me Help you:

Ever since Leo's graduation he's hardly left their bedroom. He barley talks, eats, or sleeps. No matter how much he tries to sleep, he has nightmares not only of his mother's death. But everyone's. April, Splinter, Mikey, Donnie…Raph. He keeps seeing them die before his very eyes at the hand of the man that has taken his mother away from far too early. Leo doesn't even smile anymore…he just wants all of this Foot Gang nonsense to end.

Raph walks into his and Leo's bedroom to see his boyfriend sitting on the bed with his knees to his chest with a sad expression on his face. He hates seeing Leo like this. Raph misses Leo's smile and laughter. Seeing Leo like this makes his hatred for Oroku burn even more than ever before.

Raph took a deep breath to calm himself down. He doesn't want to upset Leo even more then he already is.

Raph walks into the bedroom to where his most loved one was. He sits next to Leo and wrapped his arm around Leo's shoulder to hug him closer to himself. But Leo looks like he hasn't notice anything around him which broke Raph's heart.

"Leo…" Raph said softly to him but Leo just looked straight forward with lifeless eyes that made Raph more upset.

"Baby please talk ta me…I hate seein' ya like this…" Raph said softly trying his hardest not to cry.

Leo slowly looked up at Raph with those lifeless eyes that didn't sit well with Raph. It's like his loved one has no soul left in his body…like he just doesn't want to do anything anymore.

"Raphie…" Leo said softly that made Raph gasp in surprise and happiness. It felt like forever since he heard his lover's voice and it made him so happy to hear it.

"I'm right here baby…So glad ta hear ya speaking again. How ya feelin' babe?" Raph asked with a small smile on his face.

Leo gave a tiny smile as he snuggled a little bit closer to his boyfriend. It feels like forever since he's been near Raph.

"To tell the truth…I'm not doing too well Raph…" Leo said softly which made Raph worry even more.

"The nightmares…they're getting worse every day…"

"Babe…How long have these nightmares been goin' on?"

"Ever since graduation…I haven't slept since…" Leo said as he closed his eyes briefly trying to give them some rest.

Raph gasped in surprise. Leo's graduation was about a month ago! How could he of not notice this? What kind of boyfriend is he when he can't tell what was wrong with Leo?

"Don't blame yourself Raph…I made sure you didn't know…" Leo said as if reading Raph's thoughts.

Raph just looked at Leo with a dumbfound look. He couldn't understand why Leo would hide his pain from him.

"Leo…why didn't ya tell me? Why keep all yer pain from me? Don't ya trust me?" Raph asked feeling a bit hurt.

"Of course I trust you Raph…I trust you more than anyone…I didn't tell you because…Because I didn't want you to worry about me…You have enough on your plate…With running your gang, finding the Foot…and worrying more about me…I didn't want to add more worrying to you." Leo said sadly feeling guilty for keeping this a secret.

Raph hugs Leo closer to him which made the leaf green turtle gasped in surprise. He thought Raph would push him away, yell at him for keeping things from him. But Raph just hugs him closer which made him feel guiltier.

"Babe no matter what has gotten ya upset…I would rather you talk ta me than keep this ta yerself. I hate seeing ya like this babe. I'd rather worry with ya than ya keeping it all to yerself. I love ya Leo…and I promised I would be there fer ya…ta help ease yer pain…Let do that now…" Raph said as he hugged Leo closer to his chest.

Leo hugged Raph tighter as well as he snuggled his head into Raph's chest. Leo took a deep breath breathing in Raph's scent. A scent he's missed so much.

"I'll…I'll tell you about my dreams Raph…But…you have to be patient with me…They're painful to remember." Leo said as he kept his head in Raph's chest.

Raph just hugged Leo closer to him, trying to show him that his there and that's he's not going anywhere.

"Take yer time babe...I ain't goin' anywhere..." Raph said as he kissed Leo's forehead.

Leo took a shaken breath to calm his nerves. He hasn't had any nightmares since he was a child. When he's mother died. Now...thanks to that man that took his mother away...is back and now he's seeing more than just his mother's death...but everyone's...espeicaly Raph.

"Sigh...I-I'm in the middle of darkness...I'm all alone...I yell everyone's name but no one answers me...I just get this dark, chilling laugh that makes my skin crawl. He says in a dark voice...'No one is here Leonardo. You caused their death...just like your mothers!'" Leo said as he took a deep shaken voice to calm himself down.

Raph felt like he's heart stopped. He couldn't breath...What has Leo been going thorugh all this time.

"T-Then...one at a time...I see everyone appearing before me...dead...Mikey...Donnie...father...April...and...the one that scared me the most...was seeing you..." Leo said as he chocked up a bit as he hugged closer to Raph.

Raph hugged Leo tighter to him when he felt Leo shake and began crying a little bit more.

"I just looked into your lifeless green eyes...You were just staring at me...Then I heard the laughter again but it was louder and darker. I looked behind me and...there was Shredder standing before me with a smirk on his face. He says 'Now go join youre mother...in Hell!' After he shoots the gun...I wake up in tears...It's horriable!" Leo yelled as he moved his head out of Raph's chest to bring his knees to his chest to try to calm his tears.

Raph kept his eyes on Leo with wide eyes. He gripped his hands in anger. He's angry at himself for not noticing Leo's problems and at Oroku for hurting Leo even more.

Raph wraps his arm around Leo's shoulder to hug him to his chest. Leo lowered his knees and hugged closer to Raph but kept crying into Raph's chest.

"Leo...I want ya ta listen ta me..." Raph asked softly but Leo heard him and moved his head from his boyfriend's chest to look up at him.

"I ain't bout ta leave ya and I'll be damned if I let that bastard kill anyone close ta us. I sure as hell ain't bout ta die by that low life's hands either. It'll take more than that ta keep me from ya." Raph asked hugging Leo tighter to him.

Leo just looked at Raph. He began to cry again but even harder. Everytime he looks at Raph's eyes he begins thinking about his dream. Raph's lifeless green eyes staring at him.

Raph just hugs Leo closer to him. He wish he can figure out a way to cheeer Leo up...but the only time he'll ever get to do that is when Shredder is gone...for good.