Authors Note:
This chapter so far is my favorite. I put a lot into and I did have trouble writing it but I'm really satisfied with the outcome and I hope you guys are too. Please review, follow, and favorite! These always make my day and I get motivated to continue to write.

Dedicated to Brooke! Love you Mommy 2.0!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy.

"So Skyler, what brings you to Harvard with my sister?" And the integration starts. Honestly, I don't even know what brings me where to Harvard with Skyler.

"I don't know why I'm here but still am grateful to be with Phoebe to know that she's safe. With all due respect, even if she was staying here with you, I would still be worried." I'm touched by Skyler. I never really realized until now how much he cares for me.

"And this is why you are my favorite." Teddy pats him on the back. I'm glad that at least one male in the family is happy with Skylers presents.

"Teddy, why are we here?" I begin to get anxious and on the edge about this trip. It seems too good to be true.

"You can't just come here to visit your brother who misses you like hell?" He looks hurts but I know he's faking it.

"Not when I've started school and end up ditching the first day with Skyler. Now I do miss you like hell, no doubt, but I know this isn't just any getaway for the family. I mean Mom and Dad are in New York so obviously this is about me and I'm not okay with that." I cross my arms in defense. I needed to know why I'm here and I need to know right now.

"Skyler, if you don't mind, can I talk to Phoebe alone in the bedroom." He keeps his eyes on me.

"Of course, she's your sister. I'll just be in the living room. Do you mind if I grab something to eat?" Skyler walks to the door.

"No, kitchens pretty stacked up right now. Eat anything you want." Skyler nods and heads out of the bedroom.

"Teddy-" I begin but I'm cut off by him.

"Phoebe, I'm your brother and I know that something is wrong and it is killing me to be on the other side of the country knowing that I can't be there for my little sister. When Dad called me and told me that the school called saying you weren't in class, I freaked out. You never cut class and I knew, I just knew that something is seriously wrong. Phoebe, please, tell me what's wrong." He whispers.

I feel tears forming in the eyes. I want to tell Teddy. He's my person. I want to let him know that I'm hurting and that I'm not happy. I want to tell him that I've been hurting myself for the past year because I feel like I don't belong as a Grey. I want to tell him everything. "I can't." I don't have the courage to look at him.

"Why? Why can't you tell me. I'm your brother. You know you can come to me for everything and anything." His voice is calm but I know he's fighting the control. He's just like my dad. That's what I adore about Teddy. He's exactly like my dad but that also means he'll react the same way and I can't afford for him to go and tell my dad what's going on with me.

"Because you're going to tell Dad and I can't let you do that. I can't let Dad know. Not right now." My try to keep my voice calm. I don't want to yell at him. I know Skyler is in the other room.

"What can't you tell Dad. Phoebe, my imagination is running away from me right now and its driving me crazy. Are you okay?" His voice is more demanding now and I know I have to tell him. Seeing Teddy like this kills me. I've already hurt a lot people and I can't let one of those people be Teddy.

"You have to promise not to tell Dad, Teddy. It's not your place to say what's going on with me. This is my battle that I need to fight alone." The tears are starting to come down.

"That's the thing. You don't have to fight this alone. You have me and Mom and Dad and Skyler. You have so many people that love you to death and would stop everything they are doing to make sure that you are happy." And that does it to me. That's my breaking point.

"I don't deserve to be a Grey!" I begin to sob. Everything is unleashing itself and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I don't care if Skyler is in the other room. I don't care if this is my brother who I'm talking to. I just don't care. "You are the perfect child. You gave Mom and Dad everything they ever wanted. The grades, the charms, the work skills, everything! You never had trouble acing a test. You always were popular and every girl in our school was ready to drop down in front of you. You started interning at Grey Enterprising at 16 and gained work experience because you were able to handle school and work. You still are the perfect Grey." I turn away from Teddy. I can't look at him right now.

"And then theres me. I don't have a high GPA like you do. Boy can't stand to be around me. Dad refuses to let me step foot into Grey Publishing with Mom because he knows I can't handle it. Theres nothing I can do right anymore." I'm screaming now and I turn to Teddy who's standing but staying quiet. "Why even bother being here. I don't deserve this family or Skyler because you guys have everything that I'm not capable of. So what the point of doing anything!" My tears took over and I couldn't speak anymore. Exhaustion takes over my body and I fall to my knees and cry hysterically.

After a few moments of silence I feel Teddy come down to the floor and take my into a hug. I'm still crying and Teddy is rubbing my back. I didn't know what to do. "Phoebe, you need to tell me the truth when I ask you this." He's quiet for a few seconds but I already knew what he's going to ask. "Have you been hurting yourself? Have you taken anything beyond that level?" I remain where I am. My crying has calm down now and I lift myself up to look at Teddy.

"Junior year, I was taking over the counter pills. Once I got use to them, I started taking stronger pain killers and mixing them but I never overdosed on them. I have thought about it but never had the courage to actually do it." I whispered. I finally look up at Teddy and I can see the glossiness in his eyes. Everything I'm doing is hurting my family.

"Are you still doing it?" I shake my head.

"I stopped before school started but I can feel the withdrawal. I'm still tempted but I'm really trying not to take them." He nods his head and holds my hand. I know this is hard for my brother to take in. He has never done anything like this. He never had to.

"Who else knows?" He's not looking at me and I know he's once again trying to control his anger.

"Skyler, I told him yesterday. Mom and Dad are suspicious but I told them I'm not ready to tell them and I know that's why I'm here. For you to talk to me and report to them." I'm disgusted that my parents would even think about using Teddy like that to get to me. I need space and they never seem to understand that I need it sometimes.

"They did want me to talk to you but I'm not going to tell them. This is something you need to talk to Mom and Dad yourself. I know it's going to be hard and if you want me to come back home and help you with it, I will." I shake my head.

"You can't drop everything here to take care of me, Teddy. I know you want to but I have to fight my own battles sometimes. I just need a little bit more time before I tell Mom and Dad. It's getting slightly easier now that I've told two people but this is Dad we're talking about. The Christian Grey of Grey Enterprising & Holding." We both let out a small giggle.

"Phoebe, I know it's hard for you because of all the standards I've set for our parents but I can assure you that they love you just as much. You're Dad's little princess and he will do anything to make sure that you are safe. But there's no need to be hurting yourself. You were born to be a Grey." I stay quiet. I didn't really know how to process everything Teddy is saying. It didn't feel right.

"When I first went off to college and you start your disobedience, Dad would always call me and tell me how much you reminded him of Mom when they first met and he loves that you do it. He may get upset but I can tell you, he loves it. You keep him on his toes and he's needs it sometimes. When I got the call yesterday, Dad was so scared and he just want his little girl to be okay." I can feel the tears coming down again. Daddy is scared for me?

"Promise me that you'll talk to them. I want you to be better. You belong here Phoebe. With me and Mom and Dad. You're a Grey. Who cares what the tabloids say. Who cares what anyone says to be honest. All we want is for you to be happy. It's going to take some time for you to realize that but we're all here for you." I nod my head.

"There's one other thing I wanted to ask you. And it's from both mine and Dad's curiosity." I tilt my head waiting for him to continue.

"Dad told me that you want Skyler to move in because of the situations he's in. He understands that Skyler is in need right now to be safe but a little worried about you." Teddy pauses. I can tell he's having a hard time with this conversation. What is he worried about?

"What is Dad worried about?" I narrow my eyes in confusion.

"He said for the past day, you and Skyler have been very close to each other and acting a little differently around one another." He can see that I'm not understanding. "Phoebe, do you want to get involved with Skyler of being more than friends?" I widen my eyes. I can feel my heart beating faster and moments from the past day with Skyler flash through my head.

The locker conversation we had. Skyler crying for the first time in front of me. Us holding hands when possible. Sleeping next to him and feeling safe. Him looking at me during breakfast and on the plane. His need for me to be safe.

I look back up at Skyler and I respond without even thinking. "Yes." I whisper.