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And I, I can't come alive

I want the room to take me under

Cause I can't help but wonder

What if I, had one more night for goodbye?

If you're not here to turn the lights off I can't sleep

These four walls – Little Mix

I tossed and turned all night long, the sleep I so craved no longer within my reach. It wasn't a surprise that each time I closed my eyes and let the tiredness wash over my shivering body, the panic rose and with it came the million 'what ifs' and scenarios that fed the aching pains in my chest. I hadn't slept properly for months, at most I managed four hours a night but last night was worse, much much worse. I hadn't even got an hour, not one single hour of sleep. My body was running on empty and you could see it in the dark bags under my puffy eyes.

I had tried so desperately to sleep, each attempt failed until a little past 2am I gave in and succumbed myself to a night listening to the ticking of the clock that lay on the bedside table and the soft howling of the wind as it wrapped itself around the dense trees overlooking the tiny house. I hadn't been this restless since the weeks following my mother's death, and what was worse now was that I didn't have a legitimate reason to be so unsettled. Granted, I had never slept well since she died but recently it was easing up, but now I was back to square one. No sleep, just a constant feeling of panic and nerves. And I had no idea why I was having it now, I was worrying, panicking and nervous, but why I felt those emotions I had no idea.

So now I stood in front of the bathroom mirror trying to get rid of the evidence of my bad night, the bags under my eyes however had other ideas. Not even the desperate dabbing of foundation and powder was making them any better and not to mention my eyes were turning slightly bloodshot as I stared harder at myself. It almost looked like I had been up all night crying. I resided myself to the fact I would just have to go about the day looking a mess and pulled my clothes on, navy blue skinny jeans, a pair of fluffy white socks and a simple hoody, I couldn't be bothered with how I looked today, not that I was usually the type of girl to obsess over her wardrobe, but today I took my lack of fashion care to a whole new level.

"Sav" Sam's voice drifted up the stairs and I shifted myself from the bathroom to the hallway, I had been in there nearly half an hour trying to make my face look less death like. "Quil needs the toilet, if you're not out in two minutes he will just barge in" He called out again as I rounded on the top stairs, his eyes popped open as he saw me and he gave a little shrug before backing off into the kitchen that I could hear was occupying more people that just Emily and Sam, there was a soft buzz of chatter and a scrapping of a few chairs. My stomach gave a painful drop as I realised the guys were probably here, it was a Saturday and Emily had said they spent most days at the house, especially weekends.

"She takes longer than Leah to get ready, and that's saying something seeing as Leah takes twenty minutes just to shower" A young voice whined slightly making me frown, that name sounded familiar but I couldn't put my finger on where I heard it before. Leah. I didn't know a Leah but I knew that name. I shook it off and continued down the stairs, they creaked as I went and a new body appeared at the bottom. The tubbier one, Quil. He let out a long sigh of relief as he saw me and let his tensed shoulders droop.

"Finally, I been holding it in forever. No one come upstairs for a while" He was being deadly serious as he spoke and began dancing his way up the stairs doing a sort of jiggle as he pushed his way past me.

"Quil don't you dare take a dump in my bathroom. Quil are you listening to me?" Emily screeched, her yell was met only by a series of rough laughs coming from the bottom of the stairs and my stomach dropped again. They were nice guys, welcoming. But that didn't make them any less intimidating. "Why can you boys not go to your own house to use the bathroom? Sam you're going to have to put a lock on the door, especially now Savannah is here. Oh Savannah, I didn't realise you were there" Emily turned and clocked me as I stepped of the last stair into the kitchen, the others in the room turned and the attention shifted on to me. The nerves were back, I always felt ridiculous when I got so nervous around people because I had never felt nervous at competitions or shows where I danced in front of crowds, yet in front of a room of a few guys I felt like a nervous wreck.

My eyes darted to the floor as everyone else's darted to me. I didn't know who was here but there was a panicky feeling building in the bottom of my stomach and I felt the prickling feeling running over my skin that I had last night when Paul had quite literally growled angrily at me before storming off. My stomach dropped at the thought of him, it had been all night. Every time I let my over anxious thoughts lead back to him and how he looked at me with so much hatred, my stomach had dropped and I had felt physically sick. Much like I did right now.

"You want breakfast?" Emily's voice came back breaking through the mush that my brain had become in my cautious thoughts and worries. "I'm going to the store in a little while, you can come with me if you would like and chose some things that you like" I glanced up, the attention had gone from me and the guys in the room had returned their attention to their food. All except two men, Sam and Paul. He was here, the nausea washed over me again and I tried keeping my eyes on my brother, tried and failed. I couldn't help but glance at Paul as he lent over the kitchen island counter, his stare on me, shooting angry daggers at me. Sam was next to him, toast hanging out of his mouth and he seemed completely oblivious to the fact his friend was openly glaring at me, he had been oblivious to it last night too.

I realised Emily was waiting for my reply and I gave her a small smile and nod, her eyes narrowed as she took in my appearance and I blinked again trying hard to get rid of the redness that I knew lay there.

"Toast?" There was a small nudge on my arm and I looked down to see Embry holding out a plate that held only one slice of toast on it, he had a plate in front of him that was piled high with easily six slices. I couldn't help but frown at it; I got one piece while he had six?

"You are lucky you're even getting one slice off him" Another voice spoke up and I took notice of who else was here, Seth. The voices and laughs I had heard were from Sam, Seth, Embry, Quil and Paul. Not all of the guys I met last night but it was enough to make me feel self conscious. I gave Embry a smile and took the plate from him before sitting on the chair Seth had kicked out for me. I could feel him staring at me still, Paul's hot angry glare burned into my skin as I nibbled on the cold toast. I wasn't hungry, I was exhausted from my severe lack of sleep but I wasn't hungry.

"You know, I've been thinking" Seth suddenly piped up beside me, his deep voice causing me to jump slightly as it broke through the silence.

"That must have hurt" Embry mumbled, a smile in his voice. I had learnt quickly last night that these guys tormented one another rather a lot, there had been numerous fights like Emily had promised. At one point it had gotten a hell of a lot worse than the girls at my old dance school, bitchy comments had been thrown out without second thought and it even went as far as Quil throwing a cup of soda over the kid I think was called Brady. A comment had been made about someone called Claire which had caused a series of very girly 'oooo he went there's' to be thrown out by the guys who heard it. I came to the conclusion Claire was Quil's girlfriend, I had no idea why else he would get that defensive.

"Very funny. No, seriously I've been thinking right and I think that in a strange way you actually look like Sam" I glanced up as Seth spoke, realising he was on about me. He was staring hard at me as I nibbled slowly on the toast and I felt myself grimace. I didn't want to look like a boy, a man, whatever Sam was classed as now. He was male; I didn't want to look like him.

"Dude, they are siblings. Why are you so stupid?" Embry spoke slowly while Sam started chuckling from the kitchen area, the burning eyes were still on me though, never leaving, never giving up the glare.

"Oh no, I think she looks like her mom" The soft female voice of Emily intervened now and my stomach dropped horribly again causing my body to go cold. My mom, she had been beautiful in a classic way. She never tried too hard to look beautiful because it was natural. I didn't look like her. I shook my head trying desperately not to let the horrible feeling that lay in my stomach show on my face.

"Well I wouldn't know what her mom looked like but trust me, you're a better looking version of Sam" Seth carried on and Sam gave out an over dramatic gasp.

"I would hardly say better looking, I think I got the looks and she got the brains" He faked the sound of shock and I glanced up at him, he was trying to make me smile. It wasn't working though; I was too tired to smile. "Emily is right though, she looks like her mother" He added in with a kind smile and any shadow of a smile I held vanished. I didn't look like her.

"I think she got both" Embry joined in now and gave me a quick wink before gobbling down his remaining slice of toast. He ate like a pig. He looked over at my plate, his eyes landing on my toast that had the most pathetic nibbles taken out of it. "Are you gonna eat that?" His hand moved for it even before I answered him, he was a greedy pig.

"Embry don't you dare" Emily scolded from her place in-between Sam and Paul but Embry had already bitten into it, his face turning into a sheepish smile as he looked over at Emily, his cheeks stuffed with toast. "You are such a pig, Sam give her your toast" She nudged Sam now and his eyes went wide as he glanced down at the last slice on his own plate, it was like watching a kid being told to give away his favourite toy. He actually looked sad as he stared at the toast. I watched as he looked back up at Emily, as if silently pleading with her to not give away his food. It went on for what felt like the most awkward five minutes of my life, Sam kept glancing at the toast then at Emily who was making big obvious eye movements between the toast and me, she would go ape if he didn't give me the toast. I didn't even want it, I felt sick as hell.

"For god sake, just take mine" Paul suddenly flared up and marched across before slamming his plate down on the table in front of me. His hands were curled into angry tight balls, his knuckles turning white. My eyes trailed up his arm, his muscles were twitching and I tried not letting myself go further but I did. I looked all the way up until I saw his fury filled face, his eyes weren't meeting mine he was just scowling at the wall behind me, his body still as if he were trying to regain control over himself, his breathing laboured. He really hated me. "I'm going to work" He finally spoke, his voice low and controlled, as if he were speaking through clenched teeth. I watched as his fists began shaking and he turned and stormed from the house in the same angry manner he had stormed from the beach the night before.

What had I done? I had barely said a word to the guy yet he hated me.

"Don't let him get to you; he probably didn't get screwed last night" Seth grumbled from beside me and a slice of toast came flying through the air and smacked him square in the face. I glanced up expecting to see Sam but it was Emily who had her eyes glaring at Seth and her hand held up, she had thrown it at him. I wasn't sure why but she looked angry as she stared at the young boy next to me, I guessed it was because he used the phrase 'screwed'.

Screwed.

The meaning of that phrase dawned on me. Paul had a girlfriend. That simple thought was enough to send my already sinking stomach dropping all over again and I had to push down the nausea that threatened to rise. Paul had a girlfriend, I didn't know him but the thought of it bothered me slightly. Probably because I didn't understand how any girl could love a man as angry and unkind as he was. Paul obviously didn't like me, but I didn't care for him much either. He was unnecessarily mean.

I looked up from my plate again and met my brothers eyes, he was watching me with a curious expression on his face. His eyes dropped from mine as he saw me looking at him and they flickered to the doorway Paul had just stormed out of. His thick eyebrows furrowed together and his eyes danced with different emotions as if he were giving something a lot of hard thought, the sound of footsteps behind me took my attention away and a groan followed a loud stamp of a foot against the wooden stairs.

"What did I miss this time?" Quil's groan came right after the foot stamp and Embry looked up smiling at his friend.

"Nothing new, Paul got pissed and stormed out. Everyday occurrence, come back tomorrow and you'll probably see it all over again" Embry spoke with a sort of singing tone to his voice, Quil snorted with a little bit of laughter before walking from the stairs to the gap between Embry and I and sat down. He looked at me, his eyes taking in the obviously confused and intimidated expression I knew I was wearing and he grinned with amusement.

"You'll get used to it. You done with that?" He pointed at my toast and as with Embry before I could say no he had already reached for it and shovelled it all into his mouth. Emily let out a quick agitated huff before another slice of toast flew through the air, Embry ducked in time for it to fly over him and it hit Quil in the side of the head.

"For the love of god, stop eating her breakfast"


...

Paul pov

I could smell her as soon as I hit the yard, the scent of honeysuckle and lemon drifted through the open window to the guest room, her room. Every nerve in my body stood on end and I fought against the shiver that wanted to run through my spine. I wouldn't act like Jared did with Kim, I wouldn't let myself be whipped into knowing everything about her. Her scent wouldn't drive me wild.

The smell only became more potent as I stepped into the open front door, the house was covered in it and she had been here 24 hours. Emily looked up and smiled at me from the stove, she was stirring something but I couldn't smell it. All I could smell was her, Savannah. I heard my pack brothers mumble hellos to me but I didn't respond, I just made my way toward Emily praying that her smell would take over the one that was making me shake with lack of control. It did, as I got closer I smelt the usual smell of roses that drifted from Emily and the needy feeling that lay deep within my stomach settled. Emily's smell took my concentration from the one drifting from upstairs, I didn't miss the strange look Sam gave me though as I settled myself next to his imprint. I never got this close to her or Kim, not because I disliked them but because they weren't mine to get close to. I had to though; I couldn't be in this house if all I smelt was her.

"What is she doing man? I am dying here" Quil groaned and I glanced down at him as he sat at the table, he was squirming in his seat, his big hand rubbing on his tubby stomach.

"She's a girl what do you expect? She's probably doing her make up or something stupid like that" Embry shrugged at his best friend and I realised quickly who they were talking about. Their new best friend. The shakes started in my hands again, just the thought of her made me angry, made me want to punch something. She had waltzed in here and within a matter of hours had everyone wrapped around her perfectly manicured little finger. Little rich city girl having to slum it in La Push.

"Oh I really can't hold this in, I'm going to have to go outside dude" Quil groaned again and his gut made a deep purring noise, he obviously needed a shit.

"You are not going to the toilet outside my house Quil Ateara. You can wait like a normal human being, she won't be that much longer" Emily scolded from beside me and handed me a few slices of buttered toast. "Besides, she's probably having a bath and relaxing, she barely slept last night" Her voice turned softer now, motherly and caring. It made my shakes start up all over again and I had to grip the counters edge to calm myself. She cared for the girl after 24 hours, the girl that didn't belong here. Half Quileute or not, she wasn't from here, she shouldn't be involved in this life, involved with my life.

"What do you mean? She was asleep when I checked on her before patrol" Sam cut in now and my shakes rolled out again, Sam was a caring guy but how he suddenly jumped up and took on Savannah had pissed me off from the beginning. Everyone else applauded him for being so caring over his half sister, me, I knew she would be trouble. You can't bring an outsider here with all the danger around us wolves and expect her not to become involved.

"No, she just had her eyes shut. I kept checking on her and she would do that to me but every time I shut the door I heard her get up again, her light was still on at three this morning. It was a trick I used to do on my father when I was her age, I never used to sleep well and I ould squeeze my eyes shut when he came to check on me. Anyway, when I woke up at six I could hear her walking around the bedroom, tossing and turning and then she got up when you came back in. I guess it's her first night, she just needs to get more comfortable" Emily explained and I watched as my best friend's face fell into concern. Concern for the little sister he barely knew.

"Well she can get comfortable down here, that's it I'm going up" Quil flew up from his seat but Sam beat him to the stairs and pushed him back.

"You are not just barging in their Quil" Authority rang in his voice, out of habit. He hadn't been able to order Quil for over a year now, didn't stop his alpha voice coming into play with the annoying pup though. He turned and shouted up the stairs instead, his shout being met with the opening of a door and footsteps along the carpeted floor above us. She was out. I knew it both from the sound of her walking and the stronger smell drifting down toward me, my body swayed a little and I had to shut my eyes to try fighting it off. I couldn't stand that smell. It wasn't a bad smell, but it was her and I couldn't stand her.

My eyes stayed shut, waiting as the footsteps got closer and closer until even the scent of roses coming from Emily couldn't mask the smell. She was in here. She was too close. I peered up and sure enough she was stood at the bottom of the stairs, the look of her short body stood there, drowning in a big hoody made my stomach drop and my body sway again. She looked scared, paler than she should be, she glanced up for a minute and I saw her puffy bloodshot eyes, bags lay under them. She looked exhausted, sad. A little ounce of me wanted to check she was ok but I pushed it back, I didn't care if she was ok. Her act wouldn't fool me, she wouldn't have me wrapped around her finger. I wasn't hers, I never would be. I did not care about her.

The stare I gave her turned now, hot rage bubbled within me and I could barely hear the words my brothers spoke around me. All I focused on was her, the way she smiled as Embry offered her some of his toast. Of course he would, Embry was the kind one, the one who didn't have a mean bone in his body. Of course he would reach out to her. I gripped the counter harder, the wood began crumbling under my fingertips but I couldn't remove my stare from her. I needed her to know, to know that I didn't want her, that I didn't want her here. She ruined everything.

"You're a better looking version of Sam" Seth's young voice brought my attention back to the room, he was looking at her from the corner of his beady little eyes. His young face alight with fondness as he watched the older girl next to him, her face flushed slightly as he spoke. Better looking than Sam, it wasn't a hard thing to achieve. Seth liked her; he had been over talkative with her last night, over complementing her and asking too many questions. He was only 15 and very into girls at the minute, but he couldn't have her.

I heard more people talking around me but I didn't hear their words, I just watched as Seth carried on watching Savannah, she had stopped pathetically nibbling her toast now and had dropped it to her plate. Her face draining of colour again and her eyes flickered to mine for the tiniest of moments before looking away, her breath hitched when she saw me watching her. She was scared of me. I didn't want to frighten the girl but I didn't want her to think I cared for her, I didn't. I wouldn't.

Embry's hand shot out and grabbed the remaining toast from her plate, within a second it was all in his mouth. I wanted to scream at him, tell him to give it back but I stopped myself. It wasn't my business. Emily started yelling from beside me now, her little body giving a tiny fist slam to the kitchen counter as she scolded Embry before trying to force Sam to give his toast up. I could see him breaking, he didn't want to give her his toast but as he looked at his imprint I could see his defiance draining. He would give in to Emily's demand soon enough, they always did. Like little puppy dogs who couldn't think for themselves. It went on for a while though; Sam was being uncharacteristically stubborn with Emily for once, his puppy dog look shooting from her to the toast. It was just toast. I looked back to the table, Savannah was watching me now, her own stare fixed on me. I didn't want her looking at me, thinking she could be around me. I didn't want her around me. She was causing enough issues being here. I needed to leave. The shaking in my hands had spread, my arms were twitching. Dying to let my wolf out.

"Oh for god sake, just take mine" I growled out as Sam's stare off with Emily continued and I grabbed my untouched plate of toast and stormed to the space beside her, dropping the plate in front of her with such force her body jumped a little. I could feel her eyes travelling over my body, burning me with each second they stared. I looked straight ahead though, I couldn't look at her. I couldn't risk it, seeing her looking at me would make me lose the tiny ounce of control I had left. I turned as she reached my face, my hands began shaking too violently to stay in here any longer so I turned and stormed out. Away from her, away from her scent and from the thudding inside her chest.

The fresh air bought a calm over me but it wasn't enough, I needed to be free. I ran to the cover of the trees, my harsh breathing finally letting the shakes roll over my body and the fierce hot rage boiled through my veins until the exploding sensation crawled over my skin and I was on all fours. My anger surging through me, she wound me up. Without doing anything she wound me up. In 24 hours she had ruined everything.

"Oh get over it, you sound like a girl" Jared's annoyed voice rolled through my head now, I glanced round but I couldn't see him. He was on patrol somewhere but he wasn't near me.

Screw you.

I growled back at him but he gave a short agitated chuckle in response. "Oo sorry, is the tiny little girl annoying you? What did she do now, breathe wrong?"

My head went through it all, the last night of my life that had gone from bad to worse. Seeing her looking up at me at the beach, her big blue eyes staring right into mine, she ruined it all. She worked her way in with MY friends, worked her way into MY life, a life she didn't belong in. Rich girl from the city. Then Rachel, fucking Rachel. She was all wrong last night. Her tanned skin was too dark, her eyes were brown and lifeless, her hair black and dull, no life to it. Her lips too thin, her body too thin. She had been all wrong, I couldn't do it. I couldn't even kiss her without feeling repulsed.

"HA" Jared barked with laughter as he rifled his way through my thoughts, I could feel his smug pleasure at my thoughts. He was loving every minute of watching me suffer. "Dude, I could have told you it wouldn't work with Rachel. She's not her, she's not Savannah"

He sounded cocky now and I wanted to find him just to rip his throat out. I didn't want Savannah; she was a kid, a girl. "Yeah but she's your girl, your Rachel Black days are over. No more quick screws while Billy is out for you dude, she's the wrong girl" He sung happily now and I growled at him, he just laughed though. He was loving it.

"I don't want Savannah. She's not my girl" I fought back but he hummed in pleasure as he trotted along the La Push/Forks border.

"Have a fun life being alone then. Savannah doesn't need you, as far as she's concerned right now you are just the asshole who keeps glaring at her, she can move on and happily find someone else but you, well you are screwed. As much as you think you don't want her, she's yours. No other girl will ever match up to her man. Trust me." He was enjoying this far too much; he loved every minute of my torture. "Talking about girls, it's time I go see mine. Lighten up Paul; it's not like Savannah asked for this either. Don't punish her for something she can't control, but I would love to go over what happened with Rachel later" He chuckled again as he made his way for Kim's house, his mind flashing me comments about how disappointed Rachel must have been when my little guy 'deflated' on her.

Asshole.

I went to run for him but he phased out, I reached the edge of the trees near Kim's but I couldn't go further. Instead he turned and flicked his middle finger at me before backing his way into her yard and out of sight. Asshole. She wasn't mine, she may not have asked for this but she caused it.

I felt another wolf phase in, my mind went blank as I waited for confirmation on who it was and it didn't take me long to get it.

"Paul, you seriously need to learn to control yourself. Do you know how close you were to phasing and directly next to Savannah"

That was it, I phased out without giving myself time to even think about her. I didn't need Sam knowing. I didn't need anyone knowing. Especially not Sam, he was taking this big brother role too seriously and I knew it would cause a fight. One I couldn't be bothered to have. I hadn't slept at all last night, I was exhausted.

I walked back into the trees, my naked body not feeling the cold wind as I made my way toward my house. I didn't want this. She was ruining everything. I was fine with my life, I wasn't interested in a relationship and Rachel was fine with that. She was only here until she found a job, she was quick and easy as hell and Jacob didn't have the slightest idea what was going on because he was too dumb and too far up Renesmee Cullens ass to notice anything else other than what the kid genius was doing. And now, as well as my freedom, Savannah had managed to take that away from me too. No matter what Jared said, this wasn't my fault; she was the one who came here. If she had just stayed in Chicago then my life would have been just fine.