I was bored.

I was desperate to find something to take my mind off the lingering thoughts of Paul and so far had come up with watching Desperate Housewives, which I had been doing since I finished unloading groceries with Emily at 1pm. It was now 6:30pm. Emily had the complete boxset, apparently she too was a fan and she watched it with me until about 3 when she got bored and ran off outside to find Sam who had been building something with wood.

I was in my yoga pants with a plain black strappy top and a zip up hoody over the top, led on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn in front of me just staring at the screen. And I was now bored, not even my favourite TV show was distracting me. But thankfully, the thoughts had travelled from Paul to home, if I were at home in Chicago right now I would be at dance school. I would be flying through the partner routine with Kyle that we were due to perform next month at a dance competition. But I wasn't there, I was here and I was being lazy. I missed dance, every inch of my body missed and craved for dance but my heart wasn't in it. I couldn't do it, I hadn't danced since the day she had died. I had tried but I couldn't do it. I needed that push, a reason to put myself out there and do it. But I didn't have one, I wasn't sure if I ever would.

"Savannah, are you actually going to move from that position today?" Sam's head suddenly appeared upside down in my vision and I glanced up at him. He had bent himself over the couch and was staring at me with a slight frown on his face. I simply 'mm'd him and he rolled his eyes before standing upright and moving around so he was perched on the armchair beside the sofa. "I have to go to work now, Emily has just gone to get Kim but she shouldn't be long" He spoke as he bent over taking off his shoes and socks. I expected him to reach for a new pair but he didn't, he just stood up taking a handful of popcorn with him. "I'll see you in the morning, ask Emily if you need anything and don't just sit there watching that crap all night" He walked away and his voice grew louder, he sounded amused as he spoke about watching TV yet part of me felt like he was trying to actually tell me not to do it, not controlling but authoritive maybe?

My eyes followed him as he walked to the door and opened it, he was still barefoot.

"Sam, you've not got any shoes on" I called out to him and he went stiff for a minute, like Emily had in the car when I asked her what Sam worked as. His head cocked itself back to me before giving a slight shrug.

"They are in the car; I'll see you in a bit. And Sav, I meant what I said about the TV; you'll fry your brain watching that crap" He gave a wave before heading out into the grey evening.

"It's not crap" I called out after him and heard his grunt in reply, Despo was not crap. I was addicted to it, it was a perfectly decent show.

I listened to the silence, waiting for his truck to start but no noise came. I sat in silence for ten minutes and still nothing, not a single noise. Then the silence became deafening in itself, I felt alone. For the first time since arriving here I actually was alone. My eyes travelled around the house, the tiny homely house that was warm and inviting thanks to Emily's housekeeping skills and Sam decorating, it was simple but inviting. My old house had been tiny, it didn't fit in with the area we lived in. It stuck out like a sore thumb to be precise. We had a tiny house in amongst normal size suburban houses that held families with three or four kids and big nice looking cars. We had a two bedroom house, decorated nicely but obviously well within my mom's minimum wage pay check. I had always wished she didn't do it but she worked her ass off in a dead end job to pay the bills, she rarely had money for herself because the last spare cash went to my dance, I told her she didn't need to. I told her I wouldn't mind quitting but she knew I loved it and she wanted me to be happy. My happiness ultimately killed her, she had worked overtime at the diner she worked at so she could buy me a new leotard, I didn't need one but she wanted me to look good at the next show. She had worked later than usual, she was rushing to get to me and see me dance and because she worked that little bit later, because she was rushing to see me, she died.

My eyes stung as tears prickled into them, the burning sensation forcing me to blink and gulp back the lump that had formed in my throat. I missed home, I missed her. But I couldn't cry because if I started I would never stop. I needed a new distraction, Despo wasn't doing it anymore. I grabbed at my phone that lay beside the popcorn bowl, I had had a few missed calls from friends back home but I hadn't replied, I didn't want to but I had to. If I didn't then I would sit here and panic over things I couldn't change, my mom dying, me being here, me not dancing, Paul.

I tapped the screen and Kerry's name flashed up, the ringing tone urging me to sit up right on the comfy sofa.

"Hello" Her happy voice chirped and my heart did a little drop, I never had many friends, hardly any outside of my dance school but Kerry was a good one. She had been in my class since we were toddlers.

"Hey Ker"

"Ahh I was wondering when you would call, Savannah it's been two whole days. I had no idea if you had arrived safely or if you were even alive" She squealed and I had to roll my eyes, she was always so overdramatic. If I had died then I am sure she would have heard it by now.

"I'm fine, I got here yesterday morning. It's been a little crazy though, meeting everyone and trying to settle in here."

"I can imagine, is it a nice place? The name sounds really pretty and mystical, what's it like?" I could hear music drumming behind her voice, chatter with the occasional call. She was at dance, I could tell just from the background noise because it was a noise I spent most days in when I was still in Chicago.

I stood up and walked slowly to the kitchen as I spoke, my eyes scanning the pictures on the walls as I went. "It is very pretty. It's nice, it's not home but it's nice"

"How's your brother? Is it awkward?"

This had been something I had worried about; we knew one another but not enough to live together. But so far it had been ok. "He's fine, he's at work. He lives with his fiancé who is really nice too, it's not awkward it's ok" My voice wasn't so sure though, I tried sounding sure, I felt somewhat sure but I sounded sad.

"Just ok? You don't fill me with much hope, why do you sound so sad?" Her own happy voice dipped to a worried tone now, the background noise left and I knew she had probably gone outside to talk to me. My stomach was in a twisted clench, I wasn't so sure why I sounded or felt as weird as I did right now. I felt sad, but not sad in a way that I wanted to sit and cry, I just felt sad. Hearing her voice made me miss home even more, it was nice here and the people were friendly but it wasn't home, not yet.

"I'm not sad, I just miss home. I just wish things were different, but it's not this place. Most of the people here are nice" I stopped talking then, most of the people, not all. Not one in particular, he was mean and he had been torturing me all day internally, he hadn't even been here but my mind was in a knot trying to understand why I cared so much what he thought.

"We all wish things had been different, you are 18 soon. You can always come back for college; you are only there because you needed a guardian. You won't need one soon, one day you will be home again. Anyway, what do you mean by most? Has someone upset you?" I nodded as she spoke and leant myself in against the kitchen counter, my body curled over it and my hips digging into the edge of the hard wood. I was twiddling with a pen that was left on the side, flicking it around my fingers as I talked.

"I haven't even applied for College so that idea is over before it begins; it's not even that I don't want to be here though. It really is a lovely place but" I paused and blinked the tears away again. "It's not home" I finally sighed out and Kerry gave a sigh in response.

"First off, you applied for that scholarship summer programme, you could get into that so don't be so down about it all. And secondly, no it's not home as you know it but it could grow to be, you never liked the city anyway"

My stomach dropped all over again, my body covered itself in a nervous chill and I glanced down at the counter beneath my bent over body. The summer programme, I wouldn't get in anyway, I wasn't good enough for that. Nor would I go, I couldn't dance so what was the point in going to a summer arts programme if the art I was trained in no longer worked for my body or heart. But I wouldn't have got in, I wasn't good enough.

"No, no one has upset me. I just don't know these people, I miss you guys" I ignored her last comments completely and dived back to her asking me if someone had upset me, she went quiet as if trying to figure out where that had come.

"We miss you too" Was all I heard her say because a sudden sound behind me caused me to flip myself around against the counter, my heart suddenly racing as I realised I wasn't alone. Paul was stood by the door just staring at me. I hadn't the faintest idea how long he had been there but he looked annoyed as he watched me, almost as if fighting to not say something to me.

I zoned out of Kerry's voice then, all I could hear was my own thumping heart beat as the angry man across the room started walking toward me. His facial expression changing with each step, he looked angry still but as if he was smelling a bad smell, like he was trying to hold his breath and not smell the air around him. I didn't smell, I didn't think I did anyway. I could feel myself getting hotter, his eyes didn't lift from me and I knew I was beginning to blush from the unwanted attention. He got to the breakfast bar before stopping and his expression softened to a basic stare, not angry, not happy, he just looked at me.

"I need to grab something for Sam" He grunted and I nodded quickly back as he made his way around toward me, his movements slower than before. He was clenching his fists again and for a second I wanted to run, I thought he would hit me but I stayed put, something telling me he wouldn't. He stopped directly beside me, his eyes still watching my face, scanning over me as if sizing me up and his stiff shoulders slouched down, I wasn't a threat. He didn't move though, he leant against the counter like I was and just watched me, the heat began rising again and my heartbeat grew so loud I was sure he would be able hear it if I didn't make some noise soon.

"I need that cupboard" He spoke first, his voice harsh and growling as if he was speaking through clenched teeth. He hated me, it was so obvious. I had no idea who he was nor did he know me but he hated me anyway. I jumped back suddenly aware of his words and just how close our bodies were, I was on fire, every part of my skin was tingling in a sort of anticipating heat, my stomach was clenched and on edge, waiting for the drop that didn't come. I moved back, but not far enough. As he moved for the cupboard I could still feel his body heat on mine, he was just as scorching as the others were. It was abnormal.

"Are you even listening to me?" Kerry's voice jolted back into my focus and I let myself fall further away from the man in front of me, he had stopped staring at me now. He was rummaging through the drawers by where I was stood, his jaw twitching as he did so.

"Uhh yeah sorry, what was that?" I mumbled, my voice was quivering as I spoke and I knew I sounded strange, scared. I had no idea what Paul would do, he was intimidating and he knew it. He played on it.

"I said Kyle misses you like crazy, he hasn't been the same since you left. He doesn't like the other girls, none of them are as good as you" She repeated herself and my heart did a whole new thud, this time for Kyle. My dance partner since I was 10, he was an amazing dancer and a great friend. My eyes lingered on Paul, his rummaging froze and his body went tense again, a soft growl echoed through the room and I was sure it came from him, he looked like he was vibrating as he clenched the drawer in his fists. The noise had been animalistic, a human couldn't growl like that but there were no animals in the house, it couldn't have been him surely. His body arched as if trying to calm himself down and I noticed his hand turning white as it gripped the kitchen counter, he was really pissed. I hadn't even done anything.

"I umm I miss him too" I tried speaking normally, I tried not to focus on the man in front of me but I could barely think let alone string a sentence together.

"He's not here right now, he's out getting food but he wants to speak to you. He misses his girl." Kerry went on and again Paul's body arched, his head bowed his time, his jaw clenching together and his eyes squeezing shut for a minute, he was trying to regain himself. Trying to not be so angry but he was failing, his vibrations turned to shakes and his jaw began twitching as he kept his head bowed. He didn't even have a reason to be angry.

"I'll ring him tomorrow" I squeaked again, I couldn't focus on anything but the shaking man before me.

"That's good, hey I have to go, but don't go forgetting to ring or text me. And don't be so sad, you don't have to stay there long. Bye Savannah" I whispered my own goodbye back before lowering my phone to the counter, Paul sent the drawer slamming back into its slot and my body jerked back in surprise from the noise it made.

He said nothing, he just kept shaking and clenching his whole body as he reached up to the cupboard and looked for whatever it was he needed. I couldn't even breathe properly as I stood and watched him look over the shelves with his eyes, I couldn't move. I couldn't even force myself to walk away from him so I stood like an idiot and watched him.

"Great" He suddenly growled and stood back, his eyes trained on the very top shelf of the high cupboard. I glanced up to see a few things sat there, his eyes were trained on one but I couldn't see what it was. Whatever he needed was up there, Sam would be able to reach it but he was taller than Paul. Sam was easily 6'4 but Paul was more 5'9, 6'0 ft at most. He wouldn't fit on the slim counter top to kneel and get it and a chair would break, the thoughts hit me as his eyes trailed over the kitchen looking for something to use. Nothing was there though.

"I'll get it" I piped up and internally kicked myself, I hadn't meant to say that but something in me wanted to help, wanted him to not be so angry with me. He glanced down at me but said nothing, just watched as I lifted myself onto the small counter top and stood up, my head at this height nearly hit the ceiling but I could see clearly onto the top shelf. These cupboards were far too high, Emily wouldn't stand a chance. Not that the things on the shelf were food items, I could see string, a small wooden box, a hammer and a screwdriver surrounded by little screws. Sam's man shelf obviously. "What did you need?" I glanced back down at Paul, his eyes weren't on my face but travelling over my body, a deep frown settled on his face while his jaw stayed clenched tightly shut.

His head jerked upwards as I spoke, his frown softening as he met my stare, my skin began flushing again, a blush rose in my cheeks. He was looking at me; his eyes had scanned over my body. Probably in disgust.

"String" He barked out but shut his eyes slowly, his mouth opening a little so he could let out a long breath. "Please, the ball of string"

I nearly fell backwards from surprise, he did have manners and he didn't bark at me as he spoke. He spoke normally, softly. I nodded and turned to get it for him, there was no way he would have fit on the countertop. He would have fallen by now. I grabbed at the string and dropped myself down to my knees before finally lowering myself to the floor, as I turned around I saw Paul's arms outstretched as if ready to catch me, his eyes a little wide with worry. An emotion I never thought I would see in his angry eyes.

"Here" I handed the ball out for him to take and he jerked his head to the side, the worry that had played his dark eyes quickly vanished replaced with their usual anger and annoyance, his outstretched hands made a move for the ball in mine, he was back to being angry obviously. His hand was huge, as was the rest of him, but his hand was big and thick. I felt his rough skin brush over my soft skin, a slight scratching sensation tingled over my palm and a wave of heat flowed from his scorching skin and as quick as the sensation came it went as he snatched the string and his hand away from me. It was like I had given him an electric shock but it was him that gave me one.

He made a step away from me, his movements so sudden my own body jolted from him. I didn't feel comfortable around him, I was on edge all the time and my body was clenched in an unexplainable wave of fear. He didn't feel safe to be around, he was mean. I was just waiting for him to make a comment but the comments never came, he wasn't outwardly nasty but his actions toward me were and I didn't like it.

The air was filled with a torturous tension, it was silent and awkward and I wanted him to just leave but he didn't move. He was staring at me with a look of both hatred and interest, I had never been looked at in this way before; normally people were either mean or friendly, no in between. But he was in between; he hated me obviously but as he stood in front of me watching me there was something else, a something else I didn't care for him to have. I didn't want to be involved with someone as arrogant and unkind as Paul, but at the same time he was intriguing in a way. I found myself wanting to ask his story, ask what his life has been like, what his parents do, why he is the way he is but it wasn't my business, nor would he tell me if I asked.

He finally dropped his stare from mine to look at the ball of string in his hands, he held it up as if in silent thanks but no words left his lips. I guess he was far to superior than me to say thank you.

I fell back against the kitchen counter as he pushed himself past me and began to leave but he stopped and I quickly saw why. Kim and Emily were stood by the door just staring at the two of us, confused and somewhat surprised expressions on their faces. I wasn't sure how long they had been there, I wasn't sure of anything happening since Paul entered the room, he stole my attention and for the life of me I couldn't understand why. His presence sucked me in and I hated the feeling of it.

Paul turned back to me, his eyes softer than they had been toward me earlier yet wary. My phone began buzzing beside me but I didn't look, he however did. As his eyes fell on the screen he instantly became angry again, his vibrations came back and any softness his eyes held were replaced by his earlier anger, fury. His fists clenched again and he gave me one last nasty look before walking harshly from the kitchen, he didn't even stop to say bye to Emily or Kim he just shoved himself out of the door slamming it as he went.

Emily and Kim stared at the door while my eyes travelled down to my phone, Kyle. But I didn't answer it; I was too cold, too deflated, and too sad again. Paul really was unnecessarily unkind, I didn't care what Emily said earlier. There was no way Paul had a big heart or cared for anyone, he was too much of an ass, a beautiful, intriguing ass that seemed to suck me in no matter how hard I tried not to be.