Being Arizona chapter nineteen

Hello Honeybees! So I realised recently if I keep doing nearly every episode then this fic is going to be extremely long, so I've just decided to comment on the big thing, you know? You guys good with that? Let me know!

Also I'm sorry this one is shorter, I wanted to give the musical episode a whole chapter.

I hope you all had a very Merry and Fabulous Christmas, I know I did!

Happy Existing!

Who ever said planning baby showers, or any other kind of part for that matter, was easy? Oh, right, no one. I loved Callie and baby so much, but I swear if I had to decide between helium or regular balloons again I swear I was going to go mad. The only thing that kept me sane through this whole ordeal was Callie's radiant, glowy smile whenever she talked about baby, because it was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen.

"I just don't see why we should have to drag a helium tank around the hospital for the sake of a few balloons!"

"Yeah, but it's just better."

"I can't even believe I'm having an argument over balloons."

"Arizona, just go with the helium."

"Fine."

I bit the side of my mouth to stop myself from saying anything else. Of course Callie sided with Mark again, because that's how it went now. And now I was in a bad mood over a baby shower and a helium tank. Great.

I loved Callie, and I loved our baby so much. And I could totally understand why Mark would want to step up to his role as the father and be a part of this three-way parenting thing- I got it. But a three-way parenting system did not involve him practically being in our relationship, even when he wasn't Callie was always talking about him or texting him or not paying attention to us, and Callie siding with him over every single thing that we ever brought up. And whenever I thought about it I felt like the most selfish person on the earth because I was the one that left, and he was the baby's father and he was her best friend.

I sighed yet again as I watched them move the scrap book station table in, an indication of yet another argument that I had lost. What even was a scrapbook station anyway? I decided to just take a break to calm down before I had a breakdown over a thank you card or something.

I looked around the room of happy, chattering people eating cake and gossiping about anything and everything. I glanced over at Callie and smiled when I saw her laughing with Nurse Jackie while they decorated tiny little onesies. Even after all of the stress and the arguments and the conflicting ideas with Mark, I had to admit the part had been a success. Even if I had been forced to play silly games and I didn't really care for the whole party thing, seeing Callie look so happy and so glowy and beautiful made the whole thing worth it, so much so that I nearly forgot about all of the arguments about and with Mark and the overall stress of the day. Although Callie knew that I didn't really like parties, I'm pretty sure she made me play those games for the coffee ban and the green sludge, which by the way was absolutely disgusting and would never drink even if it was the last drink on earth.

Once the shower was over and most of the people had left, excusing themselves for surgeries or children in day care, I was relieved to have it over, but we still had quite a lot of tidying to do.

"Soo, there is one more gift left to open." Callie said as she walked up to me with a smile on her face. She held up a sealed envelope and I frowned.

"Oh... I… I didn't get you anything." I said, instantly feeling bad.

"You got me a shower."

I sighed and took the envelope. I opened it carefully and smiled when I saw the logo for Ramsey's Bed and Breakfast. "You didn't have to…" I trailed of, feeling my smile widen.

"Oh, but I did."

"But work…" I said uncertainly.

"Is taken care of. I spoke to the chief and he cleared our schedules." Callie informed me before putting an arm on my waist, obviously sensing my uncertainty. "Just let me take you to the bed and breakfast."

"Okay." I said, pulling her in for a kiss. It was a soft one full of love and in that moment I knew we could be okay.

Our bags were packed, our schedules were checked and double checked several times and we'd filled the car up to a full tank of gas, and now we were well on our way. I had no idea where this place was, but from the directions on the GPS it seemed to be in the middle of nowhere.

One annoying thing was that Callie kept texting Mark. And I know he had a right to check up every now and again, but we were only gone for the weekend, couldn't she just wait to talk to him? My selfish feeling wasn't quite as strong as I bit my lip to refrain from making a snide comment. However, when I found out that all they were doing was gossiping about Lexie and Jackson I got kind of mad. I reached over and grabbed the phone out of her hand and threw it to the back seat.

"Hey, what the hell?"

"This is time for us- it's just for us. And the first thing you wanna do is talk to Mark, so-"

"You just said it was okay!" She exclaimed angrily. "Okay, right, you know what? Screw it?" She said as she unbuckled her seat belt, I immediately started driving slower, in disbelief at the danger she was putting herself in.

"What are you doing? Don't you dare call him!" I exclaimed, biting the inside of my mouth in irritation as she grabbed her phone from the back seat and resumed he position in the front, pulling her phone out, obviously to text Mark.

"Okay, this is jealousy, Arizona. You're jealous of Mark. Get over it." She said and I could hardly believe that she told me to 'just get over it.'

"Do you blame me? I man, he gets most of you. The straight you, the Catholic you, the you that loves baby showers. I just get the gay you, which is really only about twenty minutes a night , not even, since you just feel too fat to even let me touch you-" She cut me off again, before I could even get my point across. Yet again, she wasn't listening to me.

"Look, I am doing my best here! To make sure that you're happy, and that Mark's happy, and that the tiny person growing inside of me, is happy! I don't know what else I can do, to be honest. Please tell me, because I'll do it. Whatever will make you happy, I will do it!" She shouted and I went quiet for a second as so many different things filled my head.

Suddenly a thought came to my head, and with a swoop of realisation I realised that to have Callie for ever, to get up and tell her how much I loved her so that everyone could hear, to know that she'd be there always and that I could call her wife, is what would make me happy.

"Marry me." I said, turning to face here and watching as she raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"What?" She laughed, shaking her head and continuing to text.

"I mean it. I love you more than anything- and I want more. I want commitments, and I want rings…So… Marry me." I said, looking straight into her eyes and saying exactly what I was thinking. I watched her face change as she realised she was being serious. She turned away from me.

Suddenly, a look of fear and shock came of her face and I snapped my eyes back to the road just in time to see a big truck coming right towards us. I turning the steering wheel with all my might, desperately trying to avoid it, but it was too late.

A deafening crash shot against my eardrums and I felt a lurch, a jerk and glass shattering all over me. I closed my eyes to protect them and the air bag on my face was the last thing I felt before everything went black.