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I sat wrapped in my thick coat; even in this small coffee house I was cold. My face was hovered over the steaming cup of coffee in front of me and I could feel my make up melting from my chin but I didn't move, it was the only thing offering me warmth today.

"It's horrible isn't it" Kim piped up as she finished slurping her hot chocolate and whipped cream, she was a small girl but she could down the calories when she wanted to. We had been sat in the coffee shop for half hour and she had eaten two cookies, a Panini and slurped on two hot chocolates topped with cream and marshmallows. I was still on my first cookie.

"What is?" I asked, the shop was empty apart from us and even a whisper felt like a shout.

"The cold, I'm so used to being wrapped up in Jared or squeezed around the other guys that when they aren't around the actual weather kills me" She explained and I nodded along with her, I suppose she had a point apart from the fact the last three days I had spent in solitude in my bedroom and at meal times the house was empty apart from Emily and Sam. I wasn't one hundred percent sure but I think Sam had banned the guys/pack from entering the house when I was around.

A wave of guilt washed through me as I thought over the idea that had been bugging me since Emily had dragged me home three days ago, it had been New Year's Eve and mine had truly gone out with a bang. I listened for two hours straight as Sam talked me through the first moment he phased, and then who followed him and what happened, about a battle they faced with vampires and how some vampire royalty came to take Nessie away. It had been a lot to take in but I had tried my best, at one point I thought I would pass out but Emily was on hand with tea and candy to keep me awake. After the talking was done he took me outside and in a calmer way showed me a wolf, it wasn't 'Seth' or 'Embry', this time it was Brady. His wolf was tiny in comparison to the other two I had seen, far less intimidating. But after that moment no wolf or guy had stepped foot into Sam's house or as far as I know, near it. I had felt guilty for it too, if Sam was keeping them away from there because of me then where were they going? I had only been a part of their lives for a few weeks but I had quickly latched onto the fact that the house I now lived in was base for them, they came over when they wanted, it was like their second home and now they couldn't come over because I couldn't accept that they exploded into a fur ball. I was causing more problems than I was worth and I felt guilty for it.

"You look sad, what's wrong?" Kim shifted in her armchair as she stirred a spoon around her empty mug, the ping of metal against china echoing through the empty room.

I shrugged at her but she cocked her head to her side and raised her eyebrows, she didn't believe me.

"Emily has told me what you've been like Savannah; you barely leave your room or touch your food, what's wrong?" As soon as she said it she shut her eyes and shook her head realising herself. "Oh, sorry, I know what's wrong I just mean you can tell me how you feel. Truth is I probably felt it too when I found out, you should talk to me about it and if not me then Emily" I shook my head a little too aggressive as she said Emily and she frowned at me again. "What's wrong with Emily?" She sounded offended. I offended the only friend I had here.

I hadn't meant it like that, I liked Emily a lot. She had tried to help me but it's hard to believe someone telling me the wolves won't hurt me when she has a massive scar down her face from one of them. Kim stared at me waiting for an answer but I couldn't say that, it was too insensitive. "Nothing, I just never get the chance because Sam is home" I lied and she bought it, nodding as she reached for my cookie and nibbled on the edges. She could really eat, in La Push I never saw her eat anything but fruit, vegetables and other healthy concoctions but she was going calorie mad today.

"So talk to me, the guys aren't here and Emily won't be back for ages. What is it that still bothers you?"

My eyes fell on the steamed window pane behind where she sat, the street outside was ladled with passersby but Emily wasn't one of them, she had taken Claire to buy some new shoes for school because Claire's mom was too busy working to do it. That was the main reason we were here in Port Angeles, back to school shopping, I had nothing, not even a bag suitable for school and so I had been dragged out of bed at 7 am to come here. I guess Kim was right; we were in private or as private as it could be, and not even the workers were on the shop floor they were in the kitchen area listening to music. It was just us.

"I don't even know I just feel uncomfortable" I stopped but Kim said nothing, she was waiting for me to fully explain and I sat myself back in my leather armchair. I hadn't really spoke about my feelings since finding out, I knew I would have to eventually but I was never much of a talker especially not about feelings and so it was hard. "My stomach I guess feels unsettled, my brain is all fuzzy with all the information and I just feel like shutting myself away until it just goes away. I know I'm being selfish and stupid, it's hardly like it affects me, I don't turn into a giant dog but it's just too supernatural for me. It's like I'm in the pages of some teenage fiction novel and I can't get out" By the time I finished talking napkin in my hand was ripped to shreds and Kim was leant over like some high paid counsellor about to ask me how it makes me feel.

"I understand, I more than understand, I have been there Savannah. I mean I took it better than you but that was because I had Jared who I was madly in love with and in all honesty he could have told me he turned into the three headed dog from Harry Potter and I would have been ok with it but I get the unsettled feeling. I still feel it sometimes when I see them phase or they talk about it too much, life isn't supposed to be this supernatural but it is and it's hard to wrap your head around. As for it not affecting you don't be stupid, you aren't being selfish. It's your family, your friends, your home, it does affect you and everybody just wants you to feel ok with it and have you comfortable" She stopped and I nodded taking it all in. I guess she would understand. She had Jared though so she had someone she could talk to, someone she really knew before being told. I knew Sam but not as much as I wanted to and now I felt like I didn't know him at all.

"I know and I don't hate them for it, I know they are good people but it's strange as hell"

"It does get easier I promise, you just have to trust that you will be protected no matter what and the pack is just like a big family, a big annoying family, nothing would ever happen to you. You don't need to be scared of them or the secrets; it's actually quite easy to keep it" As she spoke about protection and nothing happening to me my hand flew to my face, tracing lines down my cheek where Emily's scars lay on hers and Kim's face fell from a sympathetic smile to a sad one. "Is that what's worrying you?" She shuffled forward until she was perched on the egde of her seat. It took me a minute to realise what she meant but I became aware of the position of my hand and I dropped it to my lap.

I was such an ass. Kim was Emily's friend, Jared's girlfriend and here I was saying they would rip me to shreds or they were monsters or something. I didn't know what to say so I said nothing; I just sipped on my coffee as Kim searched the silence for words.

"Savannah, did they not explain that to you?" She asked and I shook my head, nobody had even mentioned it. I had just known that it was Sam or his wolf that had hurt Emily. "What happened was a mistake, a huge mistake that Sam has had to pay for ever since it happened"

"What happened?" I asked curious to know the truth but Kim seemed to freeze up, slapping her lips shut not ready to tell. It wasn't her story to tell but I had to know and I couldn't ask Sam or Emily and I had no one else. "What happened Kim?" I begged again and Kim looked behind her as if looking for Emily, when she was satisfied she couldn't see her she turned back to me.

"Ok but you have to know that it was a long time ago and the guys were still new to phasing, emotions were high. Now they are in control, they can deal with situations better and you have to trust that nothing would ever happen to you" She went on and I felt myself grow even more nervous. She wasn't making me feel any better.

"So it happened not long after Sam first began phasing which was like maybe three years ago, he met Emily but she wanted nothing to do with him"

"Because he was a wolf?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No, she didn't know he was a wolf, it was more to do with the fact he had dumped and broke her cousin's heart, Leah Clearwater who also happens to be Seth's sister"

Leah, I knew I knew that name. He had told me about her, I had teased him about her.

"So anyway, he broke up with Leah and went after Emily but she hated him or at least tried to. A few weeks after he first noticed her he followed her from the beach and up toward the cliffs, they got into an argument over something he had said to Leah and to cut the long story short she told him he was no better than his father" Kim paused as my eyebrows shot up, our father, a womanising asshole. One way to annoy Sam was to compare him to Josh Uley, that would have done it. "He lost it, for a split second he let his anger take hold and he phased. She was stood too close and he caught her face pretty bad"

"And you're telling me they aren't dangerous?" It came out before I could stop it; that was horrific. Sam attacked her over a comment about Josh, what would it take for me to annoy him?

"Savannah, he didn't mean to do it, he was new to phasing and he couldn't control his anger. He was torn up about it for months, he still is. Have you not noticed how calm he is? He has worked so hard to control himself and now he's one of the calmest wolves in the pack. He regretted it the minute it happened, he went crazy and ran away, he wanted to die because he had hurt her" Her eyes filled up as she spoke and I realised she knew an awful lot about it.

"How do you know what happened?"

"Jared was on patrol, he had only phased a couple weeks before but he chased after Sam and managed to calm him down"

"What about Emily?" No one was with Emily, she would have been in pain.

"She would have died if it wasn't for Paul"

"Paul?" I spat out cutting across her words and Kim looked at me in surprise.

"Yes, Paul, he's not a bad guy honestly he isn't. He was phased at this point too and he went for Emily, he had to revive her she had lost so much blood. He picked her up and sprinted all the way to the main road before flagging a car down. He got her to the hospital just in time; if it wasn't for him then she would have died. He's not the asshole everyone sees him as, he's had a tough time but he would protect anyone who needed it and he would never hurt the people he cares about, not intentionally anyway"

I couldn't reply to the Paul comments, instead I sat myself upright again and focused on something else. "So how did Emily go from being attacked by him and nearly dying to loving him? What happened to Leah?"

"Emily was in hospital for a few weeks, at first she wanted nothing to do with Sam but the guys, Jared and Paul and I suppose Billy kept going to see her and they explained about the wolves and the legends, after a few days of seeing nobody she asked for Sam. He didn't want to see her, he was terrified he would hurt her but in the end he couldn't stay away and he went to see her. I guess they left the hospital together and they've been like that ever since. Emily could see what a good guy Sam was, she could see that he hadn't meant to hurt her and she could see how much he loved her and still does. I guess she just trusted that they weren't monsters and they aren't, they are anything but monsters"

Not monsters, maybe they weren't maybe they had good qualities but it was still a lot to take in.

"Leah phased a year later, her father died and she phased along with Seth. Her and Emily aren't friends, her and Sam are worse. She stays away as best she can, she can be a handful"

Poor Leah lost her cousin and her boyfriend and then had to become a wolf and see them together. That must kill her.

"I know what you're thinking, poor Leah or Sam's an asshole but Sam hated hurting Leah he just couldn't ignore his pull to Emily. Look, this isn't about Sam or Emily, this is about you and how you feel about the wolves. All I can do is tell you from the bottom of my heart that they aren't dangerous, only to those to threaten them or their families. They would die to protect those they love. Please just open your mind to this stuff I know it's crazy but being wolves is only part of these guys, they are people before they are wolves and they are amazing, loving and loyal people who would really love to have some of Emily's pancakes again soon, Jared is driving my mom crazy with his eating" She laughed as she picked up her mound of shopping bags and I nodded, I would try to be more open minded about it. It was just really hard. "Try to remember the people you knew before they became wolves to you, you liked those people and those people are still there" Kim added in again as she stood up, she really could be a counsellor when she's older.

"Ok, I promise I will try" I offered her a small smile before grabbing my own bags and standing alongside her. We exited the shop and pushed our way into a space on the somewhat busy street, I couldn't see Emily but we would find her.

As we walked Kim's words replayed in my head, the scene picturing itself together as a story and I went over everything I had just learned. "Kim" I spoke as a thought hit me, she had said something that didn't make sense. She grunted at me and looked up from her feet. "You said about a pull that Sam couldn't ignore, that he had to be with Emily not Leah, what pull do you mean?"

Her face lit up, the biggest grin I had ever seen came across her face and her cheeks blushed a light pink colour. "Another side of the wolves, they are very loving, if they feel the pull then you are all that matters to them. I think it's the best part of the wolf thing, it's a bond of love, they find their soul mate and Emily was Sam's, it's called imprinting" She smiled wider and my heart thundered at the word, what a strange word but a beautiful meaning.

"So they look at you and love you?"

"Something like that, it's a bit deeper than simply loving you but you become their world, their focus" She was blushing, she knew that feeling.

"You and Jared are imprints?" I asked and she nodded instantly, a twinge of heat ran through my stomach and my chest became heavy, jealousy. I had never really felt love, I had had a few stupid childish relationships but nothing more, I knew firsthand what love got you, my mom thought she was in love but he didn't love her. If they were imprints and Sam and Emily were then maybe Paul and that girl was to, that beautiful girl who hung off him. The heat ran through me again and I had to look away from Kim, she was staring at me too closely.

"What happened the other night then?" She looked away and her voice rose as if knowing to change the subject, I wasn't sure which night she meant and so I didn't answer. "The night you found out? Jared told me the basics, you got freaked and ran away and Paul found you. You stayed at his house?" I nodded at her, my stomach flipping at the mention of his name. I was too caught up on a guy who didn't like me, I wasn't even sure I liked him, he changed his moods too much to be able to know.

"That's nice that he found you and gave you somewhere to stay" I nodded again hoping the subject would change but it didn't. "Was he ok with you? He wasn't mean or anything?" She sounded worried now and I shook my head.

"He was ok, it was a little awkward. I don't think he wanted me there the next day, he had his girlfriend coming over and I was being a pain" I shrugged trying to sound casual but my voice rose as I said girlfriend.

"Girlfriend?" Kim asked, she seemed confused but after a seconds thought she realised. "Oh, her umm I'm sure you weren't a pain, Paul just doesn't have people to his house much so he probably felt awkward. It's good that he was ok to you though, maybe he's getting in a better mood"

"You mean maybe he's starting to not hate me" I quipped as she failed to word it right and she shook her head desperately.

"He doesn't hate you, he just doesn't know you. Paul's a complex character, he has a lot of issues and no one to talk to, he's a very private guy" She went on and I just nodded, complex character with a lot of issues; that summed him up.

"I know his mom died" I whispered as we walked further down the road, Kim almost stopped as I said it, her face turning to shock as she looked at me. "What?"

"He told you that?" She seemed surprised, did he not tell anyone? Was it a secret?

"Well kind of, not in so many words but I know she died, why is that such a shock?"

She straightened up and began walking again, her head shaking in disbelief as we went. "It's not it's just that he doesn't talk about his mom, like ever, not even to Jared or Sam" The more she walked and talked the easier her expression got, she now held a little grin that was almost smug and I didn't understand why, it was like she was happy about Paul telling me his mom was dead.

"What about his sister? Where is she? Or his dad I didn't see him, does Paul live alone?" I started asking the questions that had bugged me since that night at Paul's but Kim's smile faded and she simply stared at the ground beneath her feet.

"Umm that's not my place to say, I've told you enough stories of other people's lives for one day. Paul will tell you if he wants too but just know that there is more there than meets the eye when it comes to Paul Lahote" She gave me a swift smile before speeding ahead of me to where I could now see Emily stood brushing melted chocolate from Claire's dress. Kim's words lingered on me for a while, more to him than meets the eye, what did that even mean? Paul would never tell me about his life, he hadn't even meant to tell me about his mom I had just said a stupid comment. Paul Lahote, he was a complex character and one that I don't think I had any hope of cracking.