Part 2 ! I could have had it as one but I think really long chapters get really boring to read so this way there is a little break up.
I had no clue where he was taking us but I didn't want to ask, if I stayed quiet it would all go ok and he wouldn't have a reason to get annoyed at me. We had left La Push, I knew that much because we zoomed past a sign that said Forks. For a second I had began worrying he was kidnapping me or something equally as farfetched but as soon as the thought hit me his truck slowed down and he turned off and into a parking lot that had only a few other cars sat in it.
My eyes looked over the building that the parking lot belonged too, Pacific Pizza, we were having pizza. He had drove out to Forks for pizza?
"It's the only decent pizza around here, you ok with pizza?" Paul turned the engine off and spoke quietly as I stared at the small building that didn't look like the average pizza joint. I nodded, pizza was fine, I loved pizza but we had driven to Forks for it.
I followed Paul's lead as he hopped out of the truck and walked around to my side, I shivered as the rain began tipping down and Paul stepped half an inch closer, not touching me but I felt warmer. Kim had said their heat radiates, I guess she was right. I followed him as he walked in and grabbed a booth toward the back of the restaurant, the leather seat cover was ripped but I didn't care, I wasn't a snob or anything. The awkward atmosphere came back over us as we looked through the menu, I didn't want to speak first in case I said the wrong thing and he didn't seem up for conversation either so I stayed quiet only speaking to order my meal when the waitress came over and said thanks when she handed my soda to me.
About ten minutes passed before he finally spoke, his low voice breaking through the slurping I was doing of my drink and I glanced up over my straw at him. He seemed a little troubled as he watched me but it was probably because I was acting like a 5 year old blowing bubbles in her drink.
"Was school ok?" He sounded tense; he was forcing the question out. I nodded swallowing the fizzing soda and catching my breath before replying.
"It was ok, I hate being the new girl but Kim was there and Embry was helpful" I fiddled with my knife and fork as I talked, Paul was nodding, his eyes not leaving mine and it felt somewhat uncomfortable. I wasn't used to his stare being directed only on me, he usually didn't keep eye contact with me for longer than a few seconds. "Quil was a pain but the others were fine so it was fine I guess, as fine as school can be anyway" I dropped his stare, my eyes focusing on the napkin in front of me instead. It wasn't as burning to stare at the napkin.
"Quil is always a pain. So it didn't make you want to leave even more than you already do?" His voice held a tone to it, like he actually cared and I glanced back up at him, maybe he did.
"No, it's fine here besides I have nowhere else to go even if I did go to Chicago" I winced, that sounded rude as hell. "I mean I do like it here, it's a nice place and I like the people and I like being around Sam more it's just there are things I need to get settled with, it will get better though it has to because I have nothing else" I noticed how sad I sounded with each word I spoke, my eyes stung for a minute but I blinked it off. I don't have anything else, I have La Push, Sam and these guys, that's all I had and so I had to learn to live with it even if it meant living among a wolf pack.
"What about dancing, you have that" Paul leaned back as two pizzas were shoved in front of us and my heart pelted painfully, dancing was still a sore subject but I felt like I had to answer, like I could answer. Paul wasn't asking to hurt me he was asking to know.
"I had dancing, I don't anymore. I can't dance anymore" I spoke into my pizza as I tore a piece off and cut it with my knife and fork, I was the weird one who ate it with cutlery.
"Why not?" He pushed and again my heart hammered with pain, my chest was heavy but I swallowed the food as best I could through my thick throat.
"It's hard to explain" I shrugged him off but he sat upright, dropping the piece of pizza in his hand to the plate as he took a gulp of his drink.
"Try me" Why did he want to know? I didn't think he liked me let alone cared about my problems? I looked at him anyway and searched for an answer, I had to give him one.
"Umm well it's like I have nothing left to dance for. I guess it's like a singer or song writer, they write songs about how they feel, about things that mean something to them and they sing about it, their emotions come through in that song. For me that is how dancing is, my emotions are in the way I dance, the songs I dance too. I can portray anything when I dance, if I had a happy memory then I chose a song that related to that and I showed it, if it was a sad memory like my grandparents dying or a bad breakup then I would dance for that" I stopped and realised that he was still sat still just listening and watching as I explained, I probably sounded ridiculous but he didn't laugh or sneer a comment at me he was just listening and so I continued pouring my heart out. "When I found out my mom died I was at a dance show, I left with the police obviously but I went back a few days later and I tried dancing but I couldn't, nothing would work I just felt empty. You can't dance for empty, just like you can't sing about empty feelings because there would be no words. For me there were no steps, my feet didn't move I just stopped. Nothings made me feel since I suppose, sorry, completely depressing" I shook my head and blinked the tears away, picking up my cutlery I dug in to my food again but Paul didn't move, he was just staring at me with the strangest look on his face, it was almost disbelief. Probably shocked how depressing one person could be.
"No, I umm I understand completely" He finally spoke and sipped at his drink again, I wanted to kick myself. Of course he knew how it felt too lose a parent, he lost him mom too, he knew the emptiness it left and the gap in your chest. He knew the pain yet here I was going on about it. I wanted to know about his mom but I was too scared to ask, he wasn't a feelings type of guy I could see that much.
He went back to his food and I to mine, not wanting to say anything else that would make myself upset or him think I was stupid.
"Why do you eat pizza with a knife and fork?" He suddenly asked as I moved onto another slice, I glanced up at him startled of his outburst. "You're supposed to eat it like this" He waved his hand and grabbed another slice himself.
"Uhh it tastes better?" I shrugged, nobody had ever asked me why, normally they just looked at me funny or made jokes about how weird I was. I didn't have an answer as to why I did it, I just did.
"Sure it does"
"It's easier and it does taste nicer, you get to taste more because you aren't dripping it down your arms" I pointed to his arm where he had rolled his sleeve up, he had cheese and tomato sauce down his wrist and he licked it off, he was such an animal when he ate. "Anyway, I'm full" I pushed my half eaten pizza away from me as he bit he last piece and he gave me a look as if to tell me I was a wimp.
"You ate three slices"
"They were big slices" I reasoned and he shook his head.
"You're such a girl" He argued back almost teasing me and my stomach flew into a array of butterflies at the sound of it. Paul being playful, it was nice, it suited him more than his scowl.
"I guess it's better than eating like a pig" I stared at his plate then and him and rolled his eyes, he was about to say something else when the waitress appeared. "Box that one up if you can please and could you get one of those ice cream tubs that you do please" He didn't look at her as he spoke he simply looked at me, a small smile still lingering on his mouth. What ice cream and why only one? I wanted an ice cream.
She was back within a few minutes placing a small tub down on the table with a plastic spoon and the bill. I went to grab it but Paul got there first and took his wallet out.
"How much is mine?" I asked and leant forward but he moved it. "Paul let me see" I groaned but he crumpled it up in his hand.
"I can get it"
These men were so annoying; since I got here I hadn't used my own money at all. Sam had even given me money to go shopping with Kim with because it was my 'allowance' although I hadn't done any chores to earn an allowance.
"I can pay for my pizza Paul" I argued again but he shook his head.
"Its fine I got it, you can keep your money for something more important"
"It's not even my money it's Sam's, he gave it to me for my lunch which Embry ended up buying anyway" I groaned and Paul took his card back from the table.
"In that case, dinners on Sam" He laughed and I handed him the money Sam had given me this morning. "Who gives out that much lunch money? How much food does he think you eat?" Paul looked at the wad of cash and placed the correct amount down before sliding me a ten back.
"I don't know" I shrugged at him and he grabbed the ice cream and spoon before nodding for me to come with him. I guess we were leaving. I said bye to waitress as we left, following Paul out into the rain and into the truck. My eyes not leaving the tub of ice cream in his lap. I so wanted that. He pulled the car out and onto the main road before reaching for it, he handed it across the seat to me though. "What's that?"
"Ice cream" He spoke slowly as if I was stupid and I rolled my eyes.
"I know but isn't that yours?"
He shook his head at me giving me the spoon. "It's yours, I thought you would want some desert seeing as you barely touched your actual food" My eyes travelled to the box of pizza between us, the smell was amazing but the ice cream looked better and I tore the lid off. It was multi coloured. "It's a mix of flavours, Emily and Kim freak out over it, I'm sure you'll be addicted too"
I dug in as he sped down the bendy roads, the rain hitting the window but it was hot in the truck, mainly from Paul's body heat. Even the ice cream wasn't making me cold. It was amazing, it had so many flavours rippled through it.
"Good?" He asked and I nodded, a smug grin sat on his face and he gripped the steering wheel tighter as we sped past the Forks sign again and into La Push.
As we pulled up into the yard I could see the house lights on and Sam and Emily's car parked outside. They weren't supposed to be home until 11, I glanced at the in car clock, 11.30. Shit. Sam was going to be so pissed. I was supposed to stay in the house with Embry not go for food with Paul in Forks. I jumped out as Paul stopped and he followed me around the car holding the left over pizza. I didn't give him time to speak I simply ran up to the front door and into the house, Emily was leant over the kitchen counter while Sam was walking around with the phone to his ear.
"No you were supposed to be here, oh never mind she's here" He slammed the phone back down as he turned and saw me, Emily looked up now and jumped from the counter and came for me whereas Sam just stared at me. "Where have you been? I was worried, I thought you had done something stupid or been kidnapped or something, you can't just leave" He stopped as Paul walked in behind me, his eyes went wide and he settled into a frown. "What are you doing? Did she run away again?" Sam looked from Paul to me and back again. I felt like shouting hello I am here or telling him I wasn't that stupid but Paul got there first.
"No, I took her for some pizza, Embry wasn't here he had patrol and Kim was with her mom, funny that isn't it Emily" I noticed Emily blush and look away as Paul spoke, his voice turning to an accusation but I didn't understand what it meant. Emily hadn't done anything. "Anyway, I dropped her food by accident so I got her more, she's safe, she's in one piece, she's fed and watered so she's fine" Paul added again and Sam nodded, his expression still wary as he looked behind me.
The box of left over pizza came into view around my arm and I turned to look up at Paul shaking my head. "I won't eat it, you can take it. I wouldn't want you to be stuck with cheese and gone off milk" I smiled at him and he returned it but it was half the smile he had given me earlier. His eyes shot up to Sam and he backed out of the door. "Thank you and sorry about earlier" I pointed to his head and back area and he just nodded, a bigger grin coming into view as he continued to back away.
"It's ok, just don't climb anymore, you aren't good at it" He called out and turned to run to his truck. I just watched him, I had been wrong. I had thought Kim lied about him being nice but he could be nice, I just hoped it lasted because tonight was a good night, one of the nicest. It had been awkward but comfortable at the same time; I wanted him to know me not the girl he thought he saw.
"Right, well now that's sorted, you should go to sleep you have to be up early" Sam spoke again and I nodded with argument, simply shutting the door and walking to the stairs not missing the smug grin Emily had on her face as she toddled back to the kitchen to put away the bowls Paul had left out earlier. I just needed to sleep, as I walked the stairs I realised just how tired I was but maybe for the first night since being here I would fall asleep with a smile.